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Endless Rain	By : Kimigurl Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > S.K.I.N. Views: 1690 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of S.K.I.N or Dir en Grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
AN: I wanted to get this up as soon as possible andI kept going back to it, I just can’t stop thinking about this story.

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Chapter 12
Dreams and Mistakes
His dark brown eyes scurried across the page several times. He flipped it, then repeated the action. Then he flipped it again...damnit!
He flung the book across the room. “Fuck!” he cried.
He ran his hands through his thick brown locks, then he sighed as he leaned over his desk, under the lamp light he searched the top once again before a small blue post-it caught his eyes. He turned and picked it up.
Yoshiki cell it read. He shook his head and couldn’t help but smile. He’d been looking for that number for the past three days and it was RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM! He felt like screaming.
But instead he settled for sighing out his frustration. Perhaps he should call Toshi first and ask for some meditation techniques. However that wouldn’t be needed at the moment.
He turned at looked at the clock. 6:12 pm it blinked, that would mean it was 1:12 there. Which meant that Yoshiki was either in a bar, in his bed, or on a bus...none were best times. It was best to reach him when he was with Sugizo or just getting up. He sighed, this meant he would have to wait until tomorrow morning! He could feel the frustration building inside of him.
He needed to talk to Yoshiki.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Kaoru read over the contracts once, then again, then again, then again, then.... “Kaoru-kun”
He looked up at Kyo staring at him from across the table. “If you don’t want to go on this tour, we don’t have to” he told the leader “Yoshiki said this would be a favour to him. Not the other way around.”
Kaoru nodded “I know” he said “And I do want to go. That’s why I keep going over the contracts...”
“Is it the girls then?”
Kaoru put his papers down. He stared at one stack to his left that held a set of important instructions, and a picture of what would look like a corpse had it not been for the color in her face. Her eyes were dead, as dead as two he remembered not 10 years before. When they first met Yoshiki Hayashi. He nodded.
Kyo nodded as well as he took off his hat and lay it down, “I hear they’ve gotten great progress from her” he said.
“We’re musicians, not physicians” Kaoru told the younger man “I’m nervous because this isn’t a situation I thought of when I was getting into this business.”
Kyo shrugged “I’m kind of excited.”
“What do you mean?”
Inoue turned toward the singer “Excited?” he asked.
Kyo nodded “Well...this of it as kind of an...experiment. I mean, people are always saying that music can heal. But it’s always been classical, or country, or pop, or some sappy crap. But here is a self proclaimed Metal Head who’s named us as one of her favourite bands. And she’s being healed by our music. According to these” he said holding up one of the papers “They tried everything except for rainbows and Care Bears. But it was MUSIC that caused any kind of help, MUSIC that was able to wake her from herself and it was MUSIC that began to heal her soul. We get to be apart of that.”
Kaoru let his words sink in “I didn’t know you were such a humanitarian” he said.
Kyo smirked “I’m not” he replied “Look, I like my privacy. But when I look at her, I think of everything that people had the chance to do for me in the past but didn’t. I hate charity because I think that people do it for recognition. But it says right here that they want no mention of her condition to the press. This means that we can help and not be selfish about it.”
In truth, both their manager and their leader had absolutely no idea what their vocalist was talking about. He was as hard to read right now as his lyrics. But somehow...it made both feel a little better.
Inoue sighed “In reality” he whispered “I’m just scared of seeing someone with that look on their face again” he said.
Kaoru nodded “When we first met Yoshiki, despite how dedicated he was to producing us he was, I knew that it wasn’t just for us. It wasn’t just to help us reach a new scale. It was to help him forget. He never did truly come to terms with hide-sama’s death. And he never did face his fears and his feelings over the matter. He dove into his work and didn’t re-emerge. Now we have someone who’s got no choice but to face her fears and her feelings...”
“That’s why I think we should go” Kyo said “Because I think we could really help her.”
The other two nodded, but Kaoru still had doubts. He would ignore them for now. Despite the fact that none of the members of Dir en Grey liked Gackt imparticular or that he always thought Miyavi was a little too immature for a serious artist. The chance to go on tour with Sugizo and Yoshiki Hayashi, to open for the fathers of JROCK was a dream that any other band in Asia would kill for. And in reality, despite Yoshiki saying it was a favour to him, they were the ones being honoured.
He sighed “It starts next week?” he asked.
Inoue shook his head “They’re in LA for a week before they kick off the second leg of their tour” he replied.
Kyo smiled “Can’t wait.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Dir en Grey?”
Kaiora peered down at the paper in her hands and looked it over. It was a little blurry, that would be the pills she was put back on.
Minami nodded furiously “Can you believe it!” she squealed “the Dir en Grey...my god...” her face straightened.
“What?” Kaiora asked.
“I just realized how lucky we are...”
Lucky?
She reviewed her ‘luck’ over the past year and realized just how little of it she had. “Luck” she whispered.
Minami was going on about the new band that was going to join them and she didn’t know why she wasn’t excited. After all...Dir en Grey was one of the most famous bands coming out of Japan. She specifically remembered one magazine calling them the ‘worlds biggest underground band’ and it was true. She remembered when they toured with the Deftones and she dragged Corrin to Seattle to watch them, it amazed her how many Dir en Grey fans were apart of the crowd. It wasn’t hard to spot them. It’s never hard to spot a JRock fan.
Her memories before had been prominently about standing in front of Die the entire night, she had started out in the back of the room but quickly made her way to the front and in front of the second guitarist. She remembered how he looked standing there with a red guitar, some kind of wind blowing through his hair, singing along. It used to bring a huge smile to her face when she recalled those memories. Her favourite was of Kyo, just watching him perform was practically orgasmic...but now...now she remembered other things. She remembered waking the next morning in the hostel with an aching back and neck. She remembered Corrin giving her a massage for an hour trying to get the kink out of her neck. She remembered them going in search of an iHop that was almost a 40 minute walk away. She remembered looking through shops and buying presents for their family members, she remembered the smile on his face, and the laugh in his throat. Even when she walked into a feminine shop he would wait patiently outside for her, and then when she’d join him again he would get up make a joke and they’d continue on their way. She remembered going to see a movie with him, and then walking out in the middle of it when he fell asleep half way through. Her cherished memories were once of a band she thought she’d never get to see; now they were of a man she’d never see again.
She stood abruptly.
Minami stopped her sentence “Kaiora?”
“I’ll be back” she whispered before she turned and walked away.
She had to get out of there, how far was the hotel? It took 10 minutes to get there this morning. What was it called? She couldn’t remember. It had been almost a week since her visit to the hospital, and due to the medication, her memories were beginning to scatter.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Returning from the hospital...
She walked wearily into the room and immediately towards the bed. Yoshiki was behind her with her bag in one arm and his other arm around her. Helping her, she sat down and took a breath “I’m sorry” she whispered as she began to feel horribly sleepy “I didn’t know the pills would react this easily.”
“Its fine” he tells her gently “You need to rest.”
He picks her up and carries her to the head of the bed before laying her down. She feels his arms drift away from her and wants to ask him to hold her a bit longer but finds it harder to speak as she drifts into darkness.

Corrin put down his book, “This is crap” he said “What does history have to do with mechanics?”
“Nothing” Kaiora replied “It’s for our benefit, and no one else’s. So we know how humanity got to this point.”
“You look like you’re ready to drop” Corrin smiled as he leaned up.
She nodded “Someone keeps calling my house, the ringing is keeping me up.”
“So someone just calls in the middle of the night?”
“Yeah, and our answering machine doesn’t pick up sometimes so the phone will just keep ringing. It will stop for a few minutes and then start all over again.”
Corrin thought long and hard about it, “You’re chewing ink.”
Corrin pulled the pen from his mouth and saw black ink filtering out of the end. “Guhaaaa!” he jumped up and began to spit the ink from his mouth.
Kaiora laughed as she watched him run from the library spitting black ink. She shook her head.
She then began to gather her and Corrin’s things. Two hands then appeared in her vision gathering her stuff as well, she was going to make a joke thinking it was Mike...but looking closer at the hands, and the tattoo of a raven on his left hand between his pointer finger and his thumb. She froze.
Mark was always bad news, when he was younger he would cut the wings off of birds while they were still alive, it was things like this that made not only her afraid of him, but Jo too. Of course Jo had more reason than Kaiora. Technically Mark had never done anything bad to Kaiora, if anything he’d been NICE to her. She always knew he had a crush on her. When she was 7 and he was 11 he tried to kiss her. He always tried to kiss her, at first she didn’t mind. He was just a boy, no harm done. But as the years went by and the rumours about him got worse and worse, especially those about girls...he began to scare her. And now...she terrified him. She understood now why Jo ran away every time he appeared why she made sure there was ALWAYS someone else there with her when Mark was nearby.
But looking around the library, she saw...not even the librarian was there.
“I saw Corrin running out” he said in a low voice.
She had to steady herself when she replied “His pen exploded.”
Mark let out a laugh “I don’t know why you spend so much time with that guy.”
“He’s my best friend.”
His hand moved onto hers “You have more friends.”
“You have more friends.”
“I’m you’re friend.”
“I can be a good friend.”
A scream, a scream echoed through the halls.
A scream.
“Don’t scream Kaiora, I’m here.”
“Don’t scream Kaiora, no one can hear.”
“Don’t scream Kaiora...”
“Kaiora...”
“Kaiora...”
“I’m here...”
“No one can hear...”
“I’m here...”
“Don’t scream Kaiora...”
“Kaiora...”
Corrin...Corrin...Corrin...Corrin...
“Kaiora you’re screaming!”
“CORRIN!”
Her hands flew out and she thrashed with what little strength she had against the arms holding her down.
“Kaiora, goddamnit open your eyes!”
Hearing the thick accent she knew that it wasn’t Mark, Mark’s voice wasn’t high, it was low. It wasn’t smooth, it was rough, it wasn’t...Japanese.
Her eyes popped open and she saw Yoshiki holding her arms with a panicked and concerned look on his face. “Kaiora” his breath was laboured “What’s wrong?”
Remembering the dream she turned pulled her arms away from him before she let out a sob and turned, sinking into a fetal position. Her sobs wracked her weak body as tears began to flood her eyes, and crawl down her cheeks. She felt a hand on her shoulder, normally she would push it away, she’d scream and cry for him not to touch her. She didn’t want to infect him with her poison. She’d find the nearest phone and make a call. A call that would now and forever...never be answered. She’d call Corrin.
But there was no Corrin.
Corrin was dead.
Corrin was gone.
There was no Corrin.
“Corrin” she sobbed.
“Kaiora” his voice was smooth, and gentle, and before she knew it she’d thrown herself at his warm body.
Her lips began to make trails along his shoulder, and neck. “Kaiora” she heard him whisper.
She ignored his tone as she continued to make her way up his neck and along his cheek. Her hands ran down his chest and across his checkered abs. Her hands then ran towards his back and pressed certain spots that caused small gasps in his laboured breaths.
She then felt his arms circle her body, and his head turned as his left hand ran up her cheek to swipe her hair back, and his lips captured hers.
She breathed deeply as his tongue began to massage hers, she felt him explore her mouth his and her body with his hands. She began to lean back onto the bed, and he didn’t resist. “Kaiora”
Her eyes shot open, and found herself staring into two brown eyes. Pulling back she pulled her hands from a set of bright pink locks.
“Kaiora” he whispered.
Her eyes widened, and she scooted back further “h-h-hide!” she screamed.

That wasn’t the only nightmare she had, the next night it wasn’t hide, it was Corrin, after that it was Mark, and that caused the most violent reaction in her. It took Yoshiki, Gackt, Miyavi, and Sugizo to hold her down, while Minami and Angel practically laid down on her while Jo gave her a shot.
It wasn’t just the dreams that were bothering her so much. Yoshiki wouldn’t let her stay in his room, he would hold her hand but wouldn’t hold her like before. He wouldn’t kiss her, and when she walked into a room, he would hang around for approximately 30 second before he would make an excuse and leave.
She knew it was hard for them, and she knew it was her fault. She perused Yoshiki; he was the most vulnerable of the group. The circumstances in which he lost his best friend were far too familiar to the ones in which she lost hers. But she still perused him. And now she was paying for it.
She sighed “I’m sorry Yoshiki.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yoshiki sighed “I’m sorry Kaiora.”
He leaned against the piano and sighed. What was he supposed to do? For the past week he’d been constantly fighting with himself as to how he should approach this situation. Had it not been for the shows each night that would help him let off some steam and focus on something besides her he might’ve gone crazy.
He didn’t want to hurt her, with the new medication, she seemed more fragile than anything, and she sustained bruises whenever someone so much as bumped into her. The doctor said it would take time to adjust, and she would be very fragile. After he heard that he knew he had to stay away from her, he had a hard time controlling himself when he was with her, so he asked Angel to keep Kaiora in her room. But found that whenever he saw her he could only control himself for so long before he felt the over whelming need to kiss her. So he’d make an excuse and leave.
He couldn’t handle the thought of hurting her, or harming her in any way, shape or form. And after last time it was made brutally clear that his presence did just that. It not only caused her fainting spell, but causes her to fight with one of her best friends who did nothing but try to cure her of her agony.
There was a click at the door and he turned, Kaiora stood there with a surprised look on her face. He stood quickly “Kaiora!” he whispered.
She stood staring for a moment, before she then began to back out of the room “I’m sorry I disturbed you Yoshiki-san” she whispered “I thought this room was empty...”
Then she was gone.
And Yoshiki stood thunderstruck at her coldness.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sugizo tightened one of his strings, he then tried the cord again. Still a little loose, he tightened it a bit more before testing. Perfect.
He played a few cords, before letting out the chorus of ‘Lucifer’, after he was finished he felt satisfied, and turned to put down his guitar, he then saw Kaiora standing there. He jumped a little in surprise, “Kaiora?” he asked.
She looked so small, and so sad at that moment. “Sugizo?” she asked “Can I ask you a favour?”
Sugizo gently placed his guitar down “Yes” he replied.
She walked closer and sat down next to him, “Can you...hug me?”
Confusion clouded his mind as he stared at the frail woman next to him. “What?” he asked.
She turned up to look him in the eyes and he found himself staring into a half dead, half-desperate being. She was trying to hold on to something but for some reason, found it quite hard to.
He swallowed his fear and anguish at that moment, then smiled beautifully for her. He then opened his arms and leaned forward. Kaiora let out a small sob before leaning into him herself. She wrapped her arms around him and felt him do the same. She then felt his hand rubbing her back comfortingly “I’m sorry Kaiora” he told her “I’m sorry we’ve been so cold to you this past week. We’re trying our best to deal with this situation and we’re afraid of hurting you.”
She sniffled “Thank-you.”
The two continued to embrace, thought neither saw the eyes peering at them from the two way mirror.

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Gackt watched with sorrow as Kaiora embraced, he felt...shame. They’d been so worried over the past few days about hurting Kaiora with physical or emotional contact that they hadn’t worried about what would happen if they gave NO physical or emotional contact to her.

“What’s going on?”
Kaiora and Sugizo parted when they heard Yoshiki’s voice. Sugizo looked back and forth between him and Kaiora before smiling at her, he then kissed Kaiora’s cheek “I think you two have to talk” he said.
Kaiora nodded before squeezing his arms lightly “Thank-you” she whispered.
Sugizo smiled “You’re welcome” he replied.
He then got up and walked towards the door. Before he left he turned to Yoshiki “Don’t run away” he whispered before he patted the leader on the back.
Yoshiki didn’t turn away from Kaiora as Sugizo left the room.

Sugizo turned and walked a little ways down the hall before opening a door and peeking his head in “Hey” he said.
Gackt jumped and spun around “Had enough drama?” he asked.
Gackt sighed “Definately.”
“Let’s get the girls and go have some fun” Sugizo said “Vacation starts now.”
Gackt smiled “I’m with you.”
They both turned to Yoshiki and Kaiora who were talking quietly.
“I’ve never known two people who deserve each other so much,” Sugizo said.
“And who’ve denied it so aggressively” Gackt replied.
“They both think if they get close to anyone else, that person something horrible would happen to that person.”
Gackt shook his head “They need to realize that their only hurting themselves more by pushing one another away.”
“Come on man” Sugizo said “This calls for Vodka.”
“Just what we had in mind.”
Both turned to see Jo and Annette standing there. Jo smirked as she pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels from her back, and Annette pulled out a stack of cards “We’ve got drinking games” she smiled.
Gackt and Sugizo said nothing, only smiled as they followed the girls back to their hotel room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

AN: I think out of everyone, Kyo will defiantly be the hardest to write. I love Kyo and I don’t want to screw him up, so I’m going to play with him :D for awhile before I decide how to write him. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Later! Review and you shall receive!
P.S I should mention the reason this chapter is so sorrow is because I was watching 'Sleepers' while I was writing it!
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Endless Rain