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I'll save you from yourself	By : PunkyEmoFreak Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Tokio Hotel Views: 2243 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Tokio Hotel. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 12
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- 14
|| Tom’s POV ||

“What the… what’s going on in here?”

“Oh shit…” Bill whispered.

I’ve never in, in these last two years, been more relieved to hear that voice then I was just then. Between Bill’s voice and the way he was looking at me, I dunno, it was like he put me in some sort of a trance or some shit like that. As of right now, Georg Listing is my hero. “Oh shit is right, what the fuck are you two doing?”

“We were kissing until you had to come and interrupt it.” Bill hissed at him, standing up and straightening out his shirt before sending a death glare to Georg. “Is there something wrong with that?”

“Actually, Bill Trumper, there are quite a few things wrong with it.” Georg hissed and I dropped my head into my hands. Was it possible for me to just disappear right now? I didn’t want to hear a fight between these two. As a mater of fact, that was the very last thing I wanted to hear. “Thing number one, you should be keeping your slut hands off of him.”

“Don’t you dare call me a slu-” Bill start, but Georg cut him off.

“Oh stop trying to act all innocent here, Bill. No one in this place is half as stupid as you tend to think they are.” I looked up; I must be stupid, because I wasn’t exactly sure what Georg was talking about. “If it weren’t already obvious with the way you’ve let Andreas, Alan, Ricky, and Peter fuck you, we then got your loud mouth cousin here with us who was so happy to give up the goods on you, Bill.”

I looked at Bill, hoping that he’d put up some sort of a fight at what Georg was saying. It was making my stomach churn knowing I just kissed someone that four other guys I know have already kissed… and done more with. But Bill didn’t deny it, he only got paler each passing second. “Lexie wouldn’t…”

“Oh wouldn’t she?” Georg was being cruel, I knew he was. But I couldn’t bring myself to make him stop talking, even though I knew I could make him stop. I had to know the truth. “Alexia shares rooms with Rachael, Gustav’s best bud, remember?” He smirked as Bill nodded, “Girl’s talk at night, Bill. And Alexia spilled everything. Like how you fucked half the guys in town back home. Or rather, let them fuck you. How you let them pay you for it. You know what they call that Bill, don’t you? Prostitution. You’re no better then a common street slut.”

I was really starting to feel sick, especially by the look on Bill’s face. That look was all I needed to know that what Georg was saying was true. “And to think, that’s not even the worst part.” Not the worst part? What could be worse then that? I wasn’t sure I could stomach anymore of it, but I had to hear it… I had to know. “At first it was just the kids at school, a quick hump in the bathroom and what not. But then they weren’t enough for you. You had to go to the adults. The orgy was one thing Alexia was giggling about. You let how many old smelly men fuck you in one night? Five? Six?”

“Georg, stop… please…” Bill whimpered, tears leaking form his eyes. The make-up that was around them slipped down, leaving long black marks down his face. But I knew Georg too well, he wasn’t done yet. He wouldn’t be done until he told it all. A sick part of Georg’s mind wanted me to hear this. The part of my mind that was confused about Bill needed to hear this.

“Stop? Why stop, Bill? The story’s only half over.” Georg said, crossing his arms over his chest, “You’re teachers… that’s sick Bill, really sick. History, Math, and what was the other class? Oh, Biology. That’s right. A blow job here, bend over his desk there, and bada bing bada boom, you have an A in the class. No wonder you need so much help in Math, you never had to learn a thing. You wanna tell Tom what happened to your teachers, or should I?” Bill just sniffled a bit, whipping under his eyes and Georg’s smirk grew wider. “Jail. All three of them, all because of you’re little slut ass. And to think, that’s not even why you’re here.”

Bill put a manicured hand over his mouth to choke back a sob, Georg didn’t seem to care. He only kept talking. Half of me really wanted to make him shut up now, but the part of me that was even more confused then before overpowered it. “Even after three of your teachers got put in jail, you couldn’t stop whoring around. You were caught fucking at least five other men within that week. That’s why you’re here Bill. You’re addicted to sex. And now you just want to add Tom onto that list of people you’ve fucked? I’m sorry; I can’t let you do that. Tom may be an antisocial prick most of the time, no offense Tom, but he is was too good for you.”

“You only say that because you’re in love with Tom too! I don’t want him to just be a fuck!” Bill snapped at Georg, but he still wasn’t denying anything the bassist said. Why couldn’t he just deny some of it? I didn’t want any of it to be true. The confused part of me didn’t want to just be one of Bill’s fucks.

“Don’t lie, Bill. Once a slut, always a slut. You just want Tom in your tight fucking pants because he’s someone untouchable.” Untouchable? What the hell did that mean? “I won’t lie. I do like Tom, maybe as much to say I’m in love with him. But I’ve accepted the fact that I will never have Tom that way. And I’m cool with just being his friend.” I didn’t know weather or not to believe that. But he hadn’t lied about anything else, so I didn’t think he was lying about that either. “But part of what being his friend is, is to not let people like you use him.”

Bill was shaking with his tears, why the fuck was he crying? Because Georg outed him on his plan to get me to fuck him? Fuck that shit. I couldn’t be happier more relived that Georg walked in here when he did. Bill Trumper seriously makes me sick.

“You know, Tom. As rude and inappropriate your words were, that was still a big step for you.” I rolled my eyes at her, my arms crossed over my chest. She has said that every single time I walk into this room for the last week. Who knew that ‘Fuck You’ was such a big step for anyone? I was trying to get her off my back. That apparently didn’t work. Now she just wanted to hear more. I wasn’t going to give her that. Especially not right now, I was in no mood.

“So I was thinking, Tom. Why don’t you tell me why you stopped talk to begin with? From your files, it says you just stopped talking halfway through your second grade year. You were seven years old.” She was flipping through a few papers and pulled one out to read from it, I didn’t really care what it said. “Directly from Ms. Tillie, ‘Tom was a very bright and seemingly happy child. He left on school on Tuesday with a smile and talking up a storm to Jerry and Heather and when he came back to school Wednesday, he wasn’t smiling and he didn’t say a word. At first I thought he was just having an off day- he had a cut on his cheek that I supposed was from falling or something, but it lasted the rest of the week. And come the next Monday and Tom still wouldn’t talk, I got worried. For the rest of the year Tom didn’t say a word to anyone. He blocked himself out from everyone. He still did his work and got excellent grades, but I knew there was something to worry about. I just hadn’t a clue what.”

I remember Ms. Tillie. She was a short lady with, maybe about as tall as us second graders, with short black hair. But she was always nice. She kept me after school a couple of times trying to get me to talk to her and tell her what happened, but I couldn’t tell her. I had sworn to myself I wasn’t ever going to say a word to anyone. It was just easier.

“What the fuck is this mess?” The mans voice was harsh, cold, and so obviously drunk. The small blond child had learned to fear this voice more when his father had sat down with one of his three best friends- Jim, Jack, or Jose. It was nights like these that Tom refused to think of him as his father. Only Jorg. The replica of his father, only much, much worse.

Tom looked around at the mess Jorg was referring to and frowned, this wasn’t his mess at all. Two empty bottles of Jack Daniel’s littered the floor along with various other things from Jorg’s drunken afternoon. Dishes and silverware, dirty napkins and candy wrappers. Boxes and wrappers from the snacks that were supposed to be for the seven year olds lunches at school. None of this was his mess. “It’s not mine…” Tom said, peaking up at Jorg, “I’ve been in my room all day.”

“I don’t want to hear any of those bull-shit lies from you, Tom,” Jorg hissed, grabbing Tom by the collar of his red and blue Spiderman t-shirt, pulling him so close Tom could almost taste the alcohol from Jorg’s lips. “Now why the fuck did you make this mess in my house?!” He was yelling now; spit falling from his mouth onto the seven year olds face.

“I didn’t do it!” Tom told him again, trying to pry away from Jorg’s hold on his shirt. He’d been hit before; kicked with steel toed boots, beat with his fathers’ belt. So much to the point it hurt to walk the next day because of the bruises on his back and legs. But the look in Jorg’s eyes this time scared the living hell out of Tom. He’d never seen this one before. “I swear I didn’t do it, I promise. I was in my room the whole time, D-D-Daddy… Doing my homework. Just like you told me too.”

“What did I just tell you about lying to me, Tom Kaulitz?” Jorg bellowed at the younger boy. Tom just whimpered and turned his head away. He knew he wasn’t lying. He had been in his room since he got home from school and saw Jorg sitting in his chair with the bottle of booze in his hand. So why wouldn’t Jorg believe him? Tom had never had a reason to lie to him. He was too scared to lie to him.

“I’m not lying,” Tom whimpered, tears starting to form in chocolate brown eyes that held fear in them. Jorg’s hand that wasn’t holding onto his shirt raised and came down hard against his face. He could feel the ring his father wore cut into the skin and blood slip down his cheek. “I swear, daddy…” Tom was crying now.

He pushed Tom away from him, “Get your ass to your room. I’ll be in there soon, so it better be clean, boy.” He demanded, pointing up the stairs and Tom didn’t dare disobey him as he ran up the stairs to his room. Tom always kept his room clean, so he wasn’t worried about that.

When Jorg came back upstairs, Tom had never been more terrified of anything else in his entire life. Jorg had forced Tom onto the bed forced his hands on the small blond childs body. “I don’t want to hear a word from you, Tom. It’ll be so much worse if I even hear a peep from you.” He hissed to the little kid.

He had no control of his body, he was shaking without meaning too, and he couldn’t pull away from his father touching him. He wanted to bed him not to, but Jorg had just told him not to say word. Jorg was going to do as he pleased. Tom was what he pleased right now. His very small body, he was only just seven years old. Jorg broke him and turned him into what he was now. He took off all of the small child’s clothes, touched him in places he was scared to be touched in. Took his small shaking hand, he made Tom touch him. He moaned loudly from Tom’s child touch, he was hard already.

There was no god, Tom knew that now. God wouldn’t let this happen to anyone. Jorg laid Tom’s shaking, naked body down on the bed, kissed up from his private areas to his belly to his chest. “So innocent.” He had whispered, pushing his legs apart, Tom was still shaking, but he was no longer crying. He couldn’t cry anymore just then, everything was so fogged, he didn’t want this to be happening. He was trying to black it all out.

Swirls moved in front of his face eyes as he tried to ignore the man who was becoming his worst enemy in such a short amount of time. The man who was supposed to protect him from things like this happening to him. He was drunk- Tom knew he was. But that shouldn’t excuse Jorg for doing this too him. At that point, Tom just felt like he was dying a strange death. He wished it was that. He wished Jorg would have just killed him instead of doing this.

One minute Jorg’s heavy mouth was biting down onto his neck for reasons unknown to the small child and the next; he pushed inside of his son. Tom never screamed so loud in his life then he did just then. It hurt more then anything else in the world. More then his fathers hits. More then kicks or the whips with the belt. It was the last time he ever screamed. The last time he ever cried. The last time Tom ever allowed himself to make a sound.

It was like Jorg was having a seizure on top of him, his body moving in and out of his own, moaning and grunting, a look of disgusting pleasure on his face. Tom couldn’t look at him; his head fell to the side as he silently sobbed- he’d allow himself these last few tears and that would be it. Jorg took his face in his strong hand, forcing his son to look at him as he pushed harder inside of the small body beneath, but Tom wouldn’t scream again. Wouldn’t beg for him to stop in useless effort. Wouldn’t make another sound. Jorg kissed him then, as though to shut up the already silent child, biting down on his lip. He could taste his own tears and blood when Jorg kissed him.

The small child heard him grunt one more time before he came inside of the bruised and broken body, his thrusts stopping and Tom hurt all over.

I don’t know what Lacy saw in me that gave her that worried look. But she was giving me a really strange look. Like she was scared of the look on my face. “Tom? Are you okay?” She asked, I couldn’t even look at her.

Honestly, I wasn’t okay. I felt sick to my stomach, like I did the night that happened. It was the first time Jorg ever did that too me. He did that once a week for the next six months until he died of alcohol poisoning. But that was the worst time. The only time I had cried or screamed. It was the last time I had made a noise other then the two words I said to Lacy.

Lacy told me I could go. I couldn’t have been more grateful to get away from her. Away from that room. I ran to the bathroom as fast as I could, upchucking my lunch into one of the toilets. I hadn’t thought of Jorg in so long for a reason. I didn’t want to remember him. I flushed the bile down the drain and forced myself back up.

I was shaking and I knew it. I just wanted to get back to my room and fall into my bed. Much to my dismay, I couldn’t even make it to the door before I collapsed next to the wall, burying my face in my knees. I told myself I wasn’t allowed to cry ever again since that day. But in that room with Lacy, I could honestly more then just see it. I could feel it happening all over again.

But now… I cried, tears leaking from my eyes and wetting my pants. I wanted to die all over again. I never wanted to remember that. Ever.
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I'll save you from yourself