Coming Home | By : SujiChan Category: Dir en grey > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1406 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I do not know Dir en grey. This is just a work of fiction to entertain. I make no money off of it. |
I watched the way his lashes fluttered as he slept and dreamt. Long, ebony lashes that any woman couldn’t quite achieve with even the most expensive mascara. It was unfair how men had what we’d kill for. His full lips were slightly parted as he breathed evenly in sleep. Dark hair fell forward to partially cover his face, and I couldn’t resist reaching up to push that lock aside so I could see all of his face. He sighed in his sleep at my light touch, his lips curling up slightly at the corners, and drew me tight to him. I knew it was just a reflex reaction to a touch he knew was feminine, but it stopped my breath.
How?
How was I to decide whom I loved between Die and Shinya when I was still so very much in love with the man who held me at this moment? The man who had spent years avoiding me because he didn’t and never could love me the way I wanted him to. It was unfair to Die and Shinya. Even if I could decide one of them would make me happy they were Toshiya’s brothers. That meant he’d be in our lives forever. Would that to be fair? Would Die or Shinya spend the time we were together wondering if I was still in love with Toshiya and thinking of him when they touched or kissed me? How could I do that to them?
I couldn’t.
…………
Toshiya woke, stretched, and climbed out of bed. Going to the bathroom he relieved himself and washed up. “Suji?” he called, coming out of the bathroom and coming face to face with the two oldest of the brothers. “What?”
“We came to check on Suji-chan,” Kaoru peered into my room.
Kyo stared at Toshiya. “You look like shit.”
“Right back at ya,” Toshiya retorted.
“So how is she?” Kaoru pressed.
“She woke up a few times during the night, but I talked calmly to her, and she relaxed and fell back asleep.” Toshiya pointed downstairs. “She must be downstairs cuz she’s not up here.”
They headed down the stairs. Toshiya went to the fridge to take out one of his cans of coffee, and found a folded piece of paper atop them. Pulling the paper out he unfolded it as he reached for a can.
‘Toshiya-san,
Thank you for being there for me when I was afraid. I woke up this morning, and watched you sleep for a while. I realized that I still love you, always will. And it’s unfair to Die and Shinya for me to continue like this. I don’t want this to cause problems with the family so I’ve left. Please pass my love to your parents and brothers.
Suji’
“What the hell?” Kaoru had been looking out back, but now he turned towards his brothers.
Kyo rubbed tiredly at his face. “Die is gonna have kittens.”
Toshiya frowned. “How’d you know I was here, by the way?”
“Excellent skills of deductions…” began Kaoru.
“He saw Saika bring your shit over here,” Kyo snorted.
Kaoru glowered at him. “I could step on you, you know.” And held out one hand to show just how tall he thought Kyo was, and the short blond flipped him the bird.
………………
“Wait…” Shinya was shaking his head. He was partially dressed for a date that was now not going happen. Wearing denims he’d been shaving and cleaning up when he’d been called out for this family gathering. Still shirtless he held a small towel in his hands. “Wait, this…”
Die had been too quiet, his head bowed some, and his long bangs falling forward so no one could really see his face. Suddenly he let out a laugh, the sound silencing everyone else. “YOU were there for her? Tell me, how did it end up that you were there for her?”
“Shit,” Kaoru breathed so low only Kyo beside him heard.
“When I got the shit kicked out of me Saika and Suji-chan brought me to her place,” Toshiya calmly replied.
“I wanted her to come here, where we could be there for her if she needed us. Now I know why she wanted to go home,” Die finally lifted his head, and his dark eyes angrily pinned his brother. “You were there. How long were you there for?”
“Oh for fuck sakes,” Toshiya impatiently snapped.
“Just how were you there for her… brother?” Die’s voice was low and forced out, his hands trembling fists on the table.
The tone of his voice was a warning, but Toshiya ignored it. “What are you asking me? You asking if I touched her? Do you really think I’d do that?”
“I don’t know, would you?” Die shot.
“Fuck you!” Toshiya growled. “I’m not some fucking animal who’d try to screw a girl after they were almost raped!”
“Why were you there?” Die shouted. “Huh? Why? You could have gone anywhere else, but you stay over at Suji-chan’s? You know how I feel about her! You spent years fucking ignoring her so why now, huh?”
Toshiya turned away, intending to leave, but Die caught him by the shirtfront, and shook him. “Why now?” he demanded.
Frustrated and irritated, Toshiya shoved him back. “Excuse the hell out of me for thinking you were man enough to finally make her love you!” The punch made his still healing lip split open once more, and spun him partway around. He didn’t turn back around, but he did reach up to wipe blood off his chin. “Feel better now?”
“I’ll feel better when you’re broken into little pieces!” Die snarled.
“And you wonder why Suji doesn’t fall for your charm,” Toshiya snorted. “I avoided her for years, trying to give you the chance to win her. I figured after you shattered her heart with your declaration of my affections that maybe I could now finally try to be a part of her life. Is that so fucking wrong?”
“She loved you forever!” Die shouted. “And you suddenly decide to stay with her, in her bed?” he wailed. “I went crazy all night worrying about her, and you were in bed with her! You should have kept staying away, Toshiya.” He was trembling, his hands fisted.
Kyo had been watching them, both he and Kaoru ready to leap up and pull the two apart if they tried to kill each other. “Totchi, were you the third kisser that night?”
“You suspected him that night, didn’t you?” Kaoru now recalled. “Why did you think he’d be the third kisser when he’d been avoiding her?”
Kyo shrugged. “He wasn’t avoiding her. He even came to talk to her earlier that evening, which is how we ended up drinking with her and coming up with the kissing contest idea. In all the years she’d been around he’d never really spoken to her. Suddenly he’s fixing her roof and talking to her…”
All eyes turned towards him, and Toshiya’s lips pursed as he looked away.
“You did kiss her!” Die snarled, and lunged.
Kaoru and Kyo leapt between the two brothers. Toshiya met his enraged brother’s glare over Kaoru’s shoulder. “I tried to stay away…” The punch grazed his cheek, and he finally lost his temper, throwing himself upwards to get a better reach over Kaoru, but that one tackled him back a few steps.
“You son of a…”
“Watch it, boy.” The snarl was low and dangerous. Mama had learned ages ago to let her boys fight it out, realizing to try to break a pack of boys apart was only delaying the inevitable, and could get her hurt in the process. Let them bleed, patch them up roughly, and by then things would be settled. She wasn’t so sure if things would be settled this time. Not so easily.
“Why?” Shinya asked, keeping well out of the reach of the fists, but close enough to leap into the fray if he had to. “Why’d you kiss her, Toshiya?” As the argument had started and gone on he’d realized that he wasn’t as upset as Die. He loved Suji, she was his best friend. They’d learned to kiss together, but that pact had been one made by two young teens who had been too naïve and innocent to realize that sex was more than just sex, and that neither of them could become sexually involved when older because the love they felt for each other was that of friends or family. There was no sexual spark. Or they’d have fulfilled that pact by now. “You never loved her…”
Toshiya deflated. “I never said that. Die did.” He ran a hand over his face, and winced at the pain from his re-opened cut lip. “By the time I’d realized that I did have feelings for her Die had already loved her for a few years so I backed off.”
“Yeah? Well, you should have fucking stayed backed off,” Die shot. He glared down at Kyo. “Let me go before I step on you.”
“Screw you,” Kyo retorted. “I’ve been kicking your ass forever, and still can.”
Except for an irritated glower towards the redhead, Toshiya ignored him. “When she came back I felt a shock like a kick in the gut. She was bowing and greeting us and I was wondering if she still loved me. Then Die started talking about how this was his chance, and he was going to marry her.”
“So you backed off again,” Kaoru nodded.
“I tried to stay away, but I was just gonna go talk to her, and when I saw her lying there… I thought, ‘just one kiss. Just one time.’ I really tried to stay away,” he softly repeated.
Die backed off, but the fight hadn’t left him. “You’re not going to win her, Totchi. I won’t let you.” Turning he headed for the door. “I’m going to find her, and when I do I’m going to tell her how serious I am about getting married. Then I’m going to take her far the fuck away from here and from you.” He slammed the door on his way out.
“Fine,” Toshiya headed out a different door. “Now it’s on.”
Kaoru rubbed at his face, sighing heavily. “I think we need to find her before they do.”
“Saika would know,” Shinya stated. “But it’s to make her tell you.”
“You’re not freaking out about this too?” Kyo asked.
Shinya shrugged. “I realized that, and it made me look at everything more objectively. I love her. I always will. But like family. The reason we never kept our pact is because of that. But I might still pretend just to piss those two off.”
“I just realized how evil you are,” Kyo’s gaze was narrowed on the blond male. “I like it.”
……………
Saika was lying on her bed listening to her mp3 player and humming softly to the music as she typed on a laptop. Her bedroom door opened, and she glanced up in time to see Toshiya grab her cell. “What the hell are you doing?” Forgetting her music she leapt up, but he was taller, and held her cell way up above her head. “Give that back! Toshiya!”
He was scrolling through the names she had saved in there. “Where is she?” He didn’t glance down at her, his head tilted back so he could see the screen. “You can tell me, or I can shout to the others that you have a guy’s number and email in here with heart icons all over the place.”
She screeched at him. “I hate you! And why do you care? Huh?” Suddenly she backed up a step. “Oh my… you do care!” She punched him in the stomach. “Bastard! You broke her heart!”
He’d doubled over, still tender from the last beating he’d taken. “Are you really going to let her leave like this?” He’d been going through the numbers still, and placed a call.
“Saika?”
She glared at him. “Don’t say anything, Suji!” she shouted.
Toshiya put the phone to his ear. “Where are you?” He’d been trying to call her himself, but she hadn’t been answering. There was a pause, he could hear breathing, and then a hang up. Cursing he hung up. “Where, Saika? I count to ten, and then I call this Toru you have listed…”
“Airport!” she snarled, snatching her phone from him. “You leave Toru alone! If any of you go near him…”
He didn’t say a word. Turning he left the room.
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