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Captivation	By : Rina76 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Tokio Hotel Views: 6307 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not know Bill or Tom Kaulitz or any members of Tokio Hotel and this story is a complete work of fiction; it is all made up and not true. I am not making any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
A/N: Huge thank you to Schwaerze for the awesomely detailed review! Hope you enjoy this update, dear :)
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Chapter 12. Aftermath.
I leave the boys alone for the rest of the day. Their emotions are still running too high after what went on in that conference room. It wasn’t supposed to end up like that. What started off as a harmless humiliation for Tom turned into something else entirely and I’m not quite sure how it occurred. By using his pressure points, I only meant to bring the rebellious twin to his knees and make him respect me more. I wasn’t really going to make him, or Bill, suck me off. But somehow, without actually meaning to, I manipulated Bill into doing it while Tom watched and cried in the corner.
Tom’s now sitting on the couch, chain-smoking and looking pensive while Bill is in the bathroom. The younger boy washes his hair three times to make sure all my semen is out of it. He’s still holding up strong, although he does have a little bit of a cry whilst he’s under the shower, his face crumpling up with silent sobs. It doesn’t last long and he soon forces himself out of it, briskly scrubbing his body and drying off. I don’t actually think those tears were for him or what I made him do. I think those tears were for Tom and how much the older teen suffered at my hands. I completely broke him down. Being twins, of course Bill is going to be affected by Tom’s emotional state and I believe that’s what bothers the sensitive singer the most about this whole thing – that I humiliated Tom and took away every ounce of his self-confidence and masculinity. I’m sure it will come back in time and Tom will return to the same smart-assed, rebellious punk he normally is but today I made him feel weak and useless and it upset Bill to see his heroic big brother so utterly crushed.
When he gets out of the bathroom, the first thing Bill does is go over to Tom on the couch and give him a long, tight hug and a reassuring kiss on the cheek, letting Tom know that he’s still the same person in Bill’s eyes, and that Bill doesn’t think any differently of him for his breakdown. I can tell Tom appreciates this affectionate gesture, even though he doesn’t say anything, just closes his eyes for a brief, pained moment.
I should feel awful for what I did to the both of them, and one half of me does, but at the same time I know apologising won’t make a speck of difference and won’t change what happened. Besides, as Bill mentioned, it was his choice to perform the blowjob. I would have let him go if he asked.
Yet he didn’t.
It’s almost as though he wanted to do it, that he wanted to prove how tough he was. And he certainly did that. Putting my remorse aside, I think I’ve actually accomplished something of major importance here, something that will directly impact Tom and Bill’s relationship and I’m quite curious to see what the results will be. If it helps them to become closer in some way then what I’ve done can’t be all bad. Still, it’s best if I give them both breathing room and let them cope with recent events in their own time before attempting to talk to them again. I only go to their room to bring them food, opening the door to slip in some pizza and leave it on the floor. I don’t say anything or even let them see me. They eat it, at least.
Nothing happens that night while I’m watching them. Tom trains with the weights again for a couple of hours, channelling his churned-up emotions into a session of hard exercise. This time Bill doesn’t watch him, instead focusing on the television. Or just abstractedly staring at the screen without really taking anything in. He has too much on his mind to get engrossed in a TV show or ogle Tom’s biceps as he exercises. Though the other teenager has never said it out loud, I know what Tom’s real aim is. He wants to make himself bigger and bulkier, like me. That’s why he’s focusing on building up his muscle mass and making himself stronger. He wants to bring his body up to the size and strength of mine, so that he has a fighting chance against me next time we struggle.
From the back, I can already see that his exertion is working, the older twin’s shoulders and upper sides slowly becoming larger and more defined, starting to give him an inverted triangle shape, the main goal of many body builders. His chest is broadening as well and his abdomen is getting thicker and more muscled. With his increasing bulk and the rough stubble on his chin and jaw, Tom Kaulitz is starting to look less like a boy and more like a man. I admire his effort and dedication and look forward to battling with him again.
They sleep on opposite sides of the bed, each curled up and facing away from the other, like images reflected in a mirror. They’re not fighting, just dealing with everything in their own heads, in their own way. They know each other well enough to sense when space needs to be given.
I afford them the same privacy in the morning, delivering their late breakfast without greeting either of them, although Bill does come over to take the bag of pancakes and two double-shot lattes from my hands, quietly thanking me before Tom growls at him to get his ass away from the door and away from me. Before he goes back to his bristling brother, Bill glances up and meets my eyes, searching them for a brief moment. I’m surprised to find that he’s not angry with me, or afraid to be in my presence. He doesn’t even seem to be ashamed by what happened between us or by the intimate act he performed on me. Rather, he seems reflective and thoughtful, his behaviour continuing like that all day.
Sitting cross-legged on the couch, he appears preoccupied with his own thoughts, not watching TV or barely even speaking to Tom unless he’s addressed first. He mechanically eats his breakfast, chewing and swallowing without really tasting anything, eyes drifting off into the distance. After that, he occupies himself with doing a load of laundry, ironing it, folding it and putting it away. Just to keep himself busy, he does Tom’s dirty clothes as well. Then Bill gives himself a manicure, filing his chipped nails and painting them, giving them two coats of black, a line of white at the tips and then one coat of clear varnish. He even paints his toenails too, all without saying a word. Throwing worried glances his way, Tom looks concerned about Bill’s unusually quiet demeanour but the older boy doesn’t question him, giving Bill whatever time he needs to deal.
I, however, can’t wait that long. A day later, I ring through to their room, while they’re watching television. Bill picks up the phone, appearing cautious.
“Ja?” (Yes?)
Scrambling in close to his sibling, Tom presses his ear to the speaker end of the handpiece so he can hear what I’m saying too.
“Bill, the door will be open in a few minutes. Meet me in the conference room. Alone, please. Tom, if you’re listening, you stay there.”
“What?” Tom can’t stop himself from exclaiming. “Why?”
“Because I said so.”
I don’t ask. I tell. If I give them an option, Bill might not come. Or else Tom wouldn’t let him. And then I’d have to drag Bill out of there by the hand, Tom pulling on his other one to stop me, and in the midst of this tug-of-war poor Bill’s puny little arms would pop right out of their sockets like a Christmas cracker which would be most unfortunate for everybody. However, they ought to know the rules by now. Do as I say and nobody loses their arms.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Bill,” I tell him in a gentle, non-threatening tone. “I would just like to talk about the other day and what happened. I would just like a chance to explain myself to you. Okay?”
“Okay,” he replies quietly.
“No, that’s NOT okay!” Tom interjects but I swiftly cut him off before he can start calling me his usual variety of insulting names.
“Tom, I will speak to you another day. You can say all you want to me then. Today I wish to speak to Bill. Without you.”
And then I hang up on him. I know it’s rude but it’s the only way to get my point across without getting involved in a heated argument. I’ve had enough of those already; they’re quite tiresome.
As soon as Bill sets down the phone, he quickly changes his shirt, putting on something tighter and more figure-hugging. Tom watches him with narrowed eyes, following Bill as he dashes into the bathroom and quickly starts to smear ivory-coloured foundation onto his face.
In a distinctly jealous tone, Tom demands, “What are you doing? Are you trying to look good for him or something?”
“No.”
“Then why are you putting that shit on?”
Setting the makeup with a puff of powder, the more feminine teen states, “Because it makes me feel less…naked.”
“You know what would make you feel less naked? Staying here and keeping your damn clothes on!”
Tom receives an offended look. “I’m not taking my clothes off for him, Tom. I’m not fucking stupid.”
“What if he makes you?”
“He won’t. He just wants to talk.”
“And you seriously believe that?”
Bill shrugs affirmatively, applying lip-gloss.
Gripping his sibling’s arm, Tom urges, “Don’t go out there, Bill.”
“I have to.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do,” the younger twin argues, pulling out of Tom’s hold. “If I don’t go, he’ll just come back in here, throw me over his shoulder and carry me away. He’s done that before, you know.”
“If he tries that, I’ll stop him.”
Bill’s eyebrow arches up. “Like you stopped him with your gun?”
Tom scowls angrily and embarrassedly at the reminder.
“With or without a weapon, he’s too fast and strong for either one of us to fight, Tom. You know it as well as I do.”
“But what if he makes you do…things… again?”
“Well, I’ll just have to handle it on my own, won’t I? I’m a big boy now.” Bill sighs and faces his fretting brother. “Look, Tom. I wanna go home as much as you do. Your plan to tie him up and force the password out of him? It’s not going to happen. Fighting him won’t work. I know you hate giving in, but he’ll set us free if we just play nice and do what he wants. And what he wants right now is for me to go talk to him.”
Tom kicks the toilet in frustration, cursing as he hurts his toes. Bill is right. The more they co-operate, the quicker they’ll be released. Resisting me just prolongs the length of their captivity. Nevertheless, this’ll be the first time they’ve been separated since Tom arrived here and the older boy hates that idea, of Bill being alone and being unable to defend himself.
“Stop worrying,” Bill chides, now smudging black eyeliner underneath his lower lash line. “Koji won’t hurt me.”
“How do you know that? He’s hit you before.”
“But that was on my very first day here, before he found out I’d been beaten up in school. Once he knew that, he swore never to do it again because he’d also been bullied too and he knows what it feels like,” the smaller teen explains, sounding like he’s defending me. “He hasn’t hit me since.”
“Well, maybe not but what about the other day? What he did to us? To ME?” Tom points indignantly at his own chest. “That was bullying of the worst degree, Bill, and don’t tell me it wasn’t.”
“I know, and you’re right,” Bill agrees, “but he still didn’t hurt me, not physically. He won’t do that because he likes me too much.”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m afraid of,” the older boy mutters but he stops trying to persuade Bill to stay. I think he realises that since he can’t bust his way out of this concrete cell or dig a fifty-foot tunnel with a broken chair leg, Bill is their best chance of getting home. They both know I’m fond of him and that he’s my weakness, the Kryptonite against my super-human self-control. Bill could use that to help them get out of here sooner. He can use his youthful beauty because that is his greatest power. For once, Tom has to stop trying to protect his little brother and have faith that Bill knows what he’s doing. He has to trust Bill. He has to let him go.
With a worried expression, Tom sits on the closed toilet lid and watches Bill get ready for our meeting.
The slim singer doesn’t recreate the whole Halloween-thick makeup that he normally wears on stage, simply because he doesn’t have the time to apply it, but he brushes on enough ebony shadow to deepen the brown hue of his irises and make them appear dark and mysterious, lengthening his lashes with a quick coat of mascara. He also teases and spikes his hair up, not as much as usual, just a little on the top, leaving the sides smooth and straight, his fringe falling sleekly across one shadowed eye. It’s true that I do prefer his natural appearance but when he gets all sexed up like this, it’s hard not to respond or feel an attraction. This gender-crossing, femme-boy look IS hot as hell. It’s both elegant and provocative and is one of the reasons he caught my eye in the first place.
I’m not as dressed up as he is – favouring a more casual look with faded black jeans and crumpled white linen shirt with the sleeves rolled up and top few buttons undone, my hair pulled back into its regular ponytail, a few shorter strands wisping loosely around my face. I’ve got a necklace around my throat with a gold dragon pendant dangling from it. I am quote fond of dragons. I sometimes wish I could turn into one and fly over the world with huge leathery wings, roasting everyone I don’t like with my fiery breath and feasting on their crispy corpses.
“You look lovely, Bill,” I compliment him with a small smile as I let him into the conference room.
“Thanks,” he returns modestly, glad that I noticed the effort he went to, even if his brother didn’t appreciate it.
“Coffee?” I pause by the sink with the hot stainless steel jug in my hand.
He makes a grossed-out face, remembering what Tom did in it the other day. “No, thank you.”
“Don’t worry,” I drawl, “I washed the pot first.”
“No, it’s fine. Really.” Bill sits down and scrapes his chair closer to the table. “I’ve already had three cups this morning.”
“Ah. I see. Then you probably shouldn’t have any more.” I join him on the opposite side of the table, offering him a cigarette from my packet which he accepts. Not that that’s any healthier than caffeine.
“How’s Tom doing?”
Lighting up, Bill draws in and politely exhales a plume of smoke to the side. “He’s okay.”
“I’m truly sorry for hurting him the way I did. I know it hurt you too, to see him in pain,” I say to Bill regretfully. “Unfortunately, there’s a side of me that has a terrible temper. It’s dangerous and cruel and has been there ever since my brother’s death. I try very hard to keep that part of me controlled and contained but Tom knows just how to provoke it into coming out. He’s really too headstrong and wilful for his own good.”
Bill nods, acknowledging and accepting his brother’s faults, and mine.
“On the other hand, though, I do admire Tom’s fighting spirit. I like how he constantly challenges me. It’d be no fun if he just rolled over and played dead. I just wish he’d meet me somewhere in the middle and try to work with me a bit more. If he’d co-operate, I wouldn’t lose my temper and I wouldn’t have to do such extreme things.”
Taking another puff, Bill nods again, but I can’t tell if he’s agreeing with me or simply letting me talk so he can get this meeting over with.
I tilt my head inquiringly at him. “Are you angry with me, Bill?”
“No,” he replies. “But Tom still kind of is.”
“Kind of? I bet that’s an understatement.”
“All right, he’s very pissed off. And also he feels very de-demas… deman… God, what’s the word?” Here Bill frowns, grasping at his limited English knowledge. “Demansculated?”
“Emasculated.”
“Exactly. He won’t say it to me, but I know he is. He feels like he failed as a man and he doesn’t like that.”
“Completely understandable. It would have been tremendously difficult for him to see what he saw and not be able to do anything about it. He just wanted to protect you, that’s all, and felt helpless when he couldn’t.”
“I know.” Bill adds in a soft voice, “He’s always protecting of me.”
“As you are with him,” I point out, knowing that he only sucked me off to save Tom from having to do it. “How do feel about what you did the other day? To me, I mean?”
“Fine, I guess,” he says, dropping his eyes in bashfulness. “It wasn’t as bad as I expected.”
“I sincerely apologise for pushing you so far, but I was just testing you. I honestly didn’t think you were going to do it,” I admit. “To tell the truth, I didn’t think I would LET you do it either. I shouldn’t have allowed it to go that far. I should have stopped you. It was just meant to be a game and somehow it got totally out of control. God, Bill. I’m so sorry.”
Even I can hear the guilt and shame in my own words.
“Don’t be sorry for me,” Bill returns in a quiet tone of composed inner strength. “I’m a lot tougher than people think.”
“I’m starting to see that,” I reply with much admiration. “Your bravery was extremely impressive, by the way. It takes a remarkably strong person to follow through with their words and not back down. You definitely earned my respect that day.”
He looks back up, gratefully. “I know you were being gentle with me, Koji. Thank you for that. You could have made the whole thing a lot worse.”
We both know what he’s talking about. I could have jammed myself down his throat, made him choke or gag. But I didn’t. I let him take as much of me as he could handle, nothing more. I barely moved. I didn’t even come in his mouth because I wasn’t sure if the taste would be unpleasant to him, or if he’d be able to swallow it without feeling sick.
“I would never force myself onto you, Bill. Not in that way.”
“Why not? Because you like me?”
His blunt question surprises me but I answer, “Yes.”
I could lie to him but what’s the point? I’ve got a massive boy-crush on Bill and he is beginning to become quite aware of it.
“I like you too, Koji.” Speaking softly, the slender vocalist reaches across table to touch my hand, surprising me again. “Especially your eyes. Such a gorgeous colour - like toffee. Or maple syrup.”
“Uh…thank you.” I am stunned by the unexpected flattery. “I love your eyes too.”
Fearlessly gazing at me with those long-lashed pools of melted chocolate, he caresses the backs of my knuckles, a trail of grey smoke spiralling between us from the cigarette still held in his fingers. In that same manner of enticing softness, he asks, “Do you think I am pretty?”
“Very,” I confess truthfully, my almost star-struck focus switching between his smoky made-up eyes, creamy complexion and plump, strawberry-glossed mouth, all of which could easily belong to a girl. “In fact, you’re probably the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen.”
He smiles, taking his hand back and crushing out the butt of his cigarette in an ashtray. Then he gets up, walks around the table to me, hooks an arm around my neck and lowers himself onto one of my thighs. He glances at the pendant around my throat, picking up the golden dragon and admiring it.
“Nice necklace.”

I blink at him in astonishment. “Um, Bill? What do you think you’re doing?”
Still smiling, he answers, “Getting to know my teacher better. You said you wanted to be my teacher, didn’t you?”
“Well, yes, but…” I stammer.
“And if I’m gonna be your student,” he carries on, playfully batting his eyelashes at me, “then you should let me learn things about you, don’t you agree?”
Okay, he has me stumped there. Since I’m too shocked to refuse him, Bill starts getting to know me in a rather personal way and I give a little jolt when he first touches me. With feather-light fingertips he brushes across my cheekbone, sweeps over my forehead and smooths along my slanted black brows, seeming intrigued by my angular features. He skims down my nose (which is shorter and broader than his), the inquisitive teenager fleetingly dipping into the small divot above my upper lip. I am not used to being touched so openly and would normally not permit it but for some reason I sit there and let him do it. He seems just as entranced by my Asian appearance as I do with his androgynous European one. Growing bolder by the second, Bill explores my mouth with his fingertips, tracing around its dusty-rose edges, feeling how soft and full my lips are.
Gazing hungrily at the ivory-skinned youth in my lap, I yearn to do the same and rub my thumb across his candy-pink mouth but I’m afraid of scaring him away so I don’t budge, just allow Bill to proceed at his own pace and continue learning what it’s like to touch another man. Though he’s only touching my face, it still seems incredibly intimate. For both of us. The interested brunette male maps out the line of my squared chin and feels along my smoothly-shaven jaw, his alert eyes following everywhere his fingers go. He traces around one of my ears, discovering the little hole in my left lobe. I had it pierced when I was younger but am not wearing a ring in it right now. Using a black-painted nail, he removes the strands of hair I’ve tucked behind that ear, letting them slip through his exploring finger-pads.
“Can I take your ponytail out?”
His curious question has me nodding in answer. He carefully pulls the elastic band away, letting the thick golden-brown locks fall free about the sides of my face, the layered ends brushing my shoulders and upper arms.
“Your hair is so beautiful,” he murmurs, combing his fingers through it and feeling its lustrous softness. My scalp tingles. I shiver and briefly close my eyes.
His hand travels down the curve of my throat, over the bump of my Adam’s apple and down to the wedge of chest exposed by the unfastened top buttons of my shirt. He slips the rest of the buttons free and spreads the linen article open, staring at my naturally-tanned torso and abdominal muscles. I feel my nipples hardening. I’m not sure if that’s due to the coolness of the air conditioning or his intense gaze. Caressing the centre of my hairless chest, Bill then lightly rakes the square tips of his white-edged nails down my rippled stomach, triggering all the heightened nerve-endings there. I try not to twitch, bite my lip or moan.
“You’ve got a great body,” he breathes, smoothing back up my belly and chest with his palm. “Your skin is softer than anything I’ve ever felt before.”
I can’t reply. I’m too overwhelmed by him touching my bare flesh. Voluntarily. Even though I am his abductor; even though I stalked, drugged and kidnapped him and am holding him hostage at this very minute, he’s not scared of me at all, not like he was when I first brought him here. Who IS he? Who is this sexy, seductive siren in my lap? Surely not sweet little Bill Kaulitz with the big, brown baby-deer eyes?
Although, those eyes aren’t so sweet at the moment. Not with the way he’s looking at me. They’re not pure and child-like and naïve anymore. Those eyes are wicked and sinfully devouring, scorching me with their intensity. It’s as if I’m seeing a future version of Bill Kaulitz, a year or so from now, when he’s all grown up and knows exactly what he wants and how to get it.
His left hand slides down my lower abdomen, reaching the waistband of my black jeans. They have a button-fly. Moistening his lips with the tip of his tongue, he starts to undo the top one.
Grabbing his skinny wrist, I stop him before he can go any further. “Bill…seriously. Not that this isn’t nice, but what exactly are you trying to do?”
“What I did to you the other day,” the kid replies with more nonchalance than he should.
“No,” I reply firmly. “I don’t expect you to do that again. I’m not asking you to. In fact, I never should have let you do it in the first place.”
“I know.” Still hanging onto the back my neck, he gives a one-shouldered shrug. “I want to this time.”
“Why?”
“I need the experience.” He leans in, moving my hair aside and murmuring into my ear. “So I can do it to Tom.”
My breath hisses in sharply at that erotic, incestuous image – of Bill’s mouth around Tom’s deliciously thick cock.
“That’s what you want, isn’t it?” His cajoling lips brush my earlobe, sending chills down my spine. “You want me to blow my own brother?”
“Yes,” I whisper from my unexpectedly breathless lungs
“Then let me practise on you first. I bet I can do it even better than before.” Without looking, he somehow gets a second button undone on my jeans, still speaking in my ear softly and persuasively. “I’ll make sure you enjoy it, Koji.”
The suspicious part of my brain is thinking that this is some kind of act, some kind of ploy or strategy that Bill is executing to exploit my fondness for him, to play on my weak spot so he gains an advantage over me. But another part of me believes he’s actually getting turned on by the idea. Since some areas of his body are pressed against mine I can actually feel his pulse quickening, particularly in the back of his thighs where certain arteries are situated. Due to this and the increased shallowness of his breathing, I don’t think he’s lying or deceiving me or putting on a false front in order to get one step closer to freedom. I don’t think he’s doing this so I will let him and Tom go earlier. I think he’s actually getting excited. And so am I. Come on, I’ve got the bewitching nineteen-year old singer of Tokio Hotel sitting in my lap seducing me, wanting to suck my dick and lick it with his pierced tongue. I’d be crazy to stop him.
And yet that’s what I’m going to do.
“Don’t,” I manage to grit out, shoving his hand away. “I’m not attracted to you in that way, Bill. I don’t desire you.”
He stops, looking disappointed. Hurt, even.
“All right, that wasn’t true,” I grudgingly concede, not wanting him to get upset or cry on me. “Even if I do desire you, I still can’t let you do anything sexual to me. Not anymore.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s against my rules. Besides, I’d rather you do those things to Tom.”
“But he won’t let me!” Bill exclaims, sounding frustrated. “He won’t even let me kiss him. Believe me, I’ve tried!”
I study him for a few moments, pondering his dilemma. I’m beginning to wonder if he’s ever been properly kissed at all, even by a girl. Perhaps he hasn’t. Despite no shortage of offers, perhaps Bill has never let anyone get that close to him before. Perhaps he really is a virgin in every sense of the word. And perhaps he’s finally ready to change that.
“Well, if a mere kiss is all you’re after, perhaps I can offer my assistance – just this once,” I suggest, cradling his lovely face in my palms and stroking his cheekbones much the same as he did to me. I haven’t kissed a single person in four years but if anyone can make me break my self-imposed vow of celibacy, it’s definitely Bill Kaulitz. Before I took him and his brother I swore to myself that I wouldn’t have any inappropriate contact with my captives but I guess I can bend my rules, just for today. Just to teach an innocent boy something new. And then he can use that new knowledge on Tom.
At my suggestion he swallows, Bill suddenly seeming nervous, all his former bravado evaporating. He must remember what I said to him during our earliest conference, how I asked if he’d let me be the first man to kiss him. I didn’t mean it then but I do now. Just like that day, he’s not answering the question. However, he’s not saying no or pulling away and that’s good enough for me. I slowly lean down towards him, intending to taste that luscious-looking mouth of his. I get close enough to feel the warm gusts of Bill’s breaths across my lips, quick and shallow. At the last moment he stiffens and turns his head aside so that my mouth brushes over his dark-brown beauty spot and lands against his cheek, the brunette teenager rejecting my proposal. No matter; I just end up kissing him there, placing another one upon his temple and then one more above his silver eyebrow ring, only briefly wondering how I became so at ease with showing him physical affection. Still holding his face in my hands, I take a moment to smell his hair, deeply inhaling the fragrant perfume of the streaked ebony strands before releasing him. Perched tensely on my upper legs, he peeks up at me with anxious eyes, as if afraid that I might be insulted or mad at him for denying me.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do when you’re here with me,” I tell him gently, sweeping his fringe aside so I can search those expressive coffee-coloured irises. “I said I’d never force you in that way and I mean it. I swear on my brother’s grave.”
At my sincere words, he relaxes, trusting my vow. To be honest, I’d love to kiss Bill passionately and show him how to caress my tongue with his but I get why he’s shying away from me, even though he wasn’t shy about sucking my cock the other day, or offering to do it again. Kissing is actually much more intimate and personal than giving someone a blow job. Because when you suck someone, you don’t have to look at their face. You don’t have to connect. You can distance yourself from them while you do it. But when you kiss a person, you are eye to eye, mouth to mouth, and heart to heart. You share your breath with someone else. You share your soul.
Kissing is the kind of thing he would save for someone he knows well, feels close to, and trusts.
Someone like his twin.
I question, “Are you disappointed that Tom hasn’t kissed you yet?”
He lowers his gaze and gives a small morose nod.
“You’ll tell me, won’t you? When he does?”
“Of course…IF he does.”
“And if he does more than that?”
“Then I’ll tell you everything.”
“You promise?”
“Yes. I promise.”
“You’re such a good boy, Bill Kaulitz,” I praise him. “If only Tom shared your open-mindedness and co-operativeness you’d both get out of here a lot sooner.”
At the mention of freedom, he perks up. “Are you really going to let us go?”
“I will. When I think you’re ready. When I’m satisfied with what you’ve achieved during your stay here.”
“Are we making progress?”
“YOU are. You’re doing amazingly well. Now, try and convince Tom. He’s so stubborn.”
Bill sighs. “Yeah, I know. I’ll try my best.”
“I’m sure you’ll succeed,” I remark wryly, thinking of how he constantly tempts a disciplined celibate like me into nearly giving in. “With no girls around, it’s only a matter of time before Tom’s randy libido gets the better of him.”
Bill’s cute nose scrunches up in doubt. “You really think he’ll find me attractive?”
“He already does, Bill. He just hasn’t realised it yet.”
The possibly-bisexual boy ponders this for a minute or so, eventually requesting, “Koji, can I ask how you and your brother first got together? If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay. You don’t have to.”
“It’s all right. I’m happy to tell you,” I grant him, flattered that he’s even interested in my past. “How much do you want to know?”
“All of it. Like, when it happened, what you did, how you felt.”
“Okay. Get comfortable; it’s kind of a long story.” I settle my pretty captive further into my lap, his long limbs draping over mine. His butt is a bit bony but I don’t mind. He lets me put an arm around his narrow waist, Bill’s dark cocoa eyes fixed inquisitively on me as I begin my tale.
“Keiichi and I were fifteen years old. We were old enough to know what sex was but young enough never to have tried it…”
.........
A/N: Does anyone want to hear Koji's story or should I skip most of it? Either way, thanks for reading!
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Captivation