Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

Miwaku no Zakuro	By : Tcharlatan Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 2861 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction. I do not personally know any of the members of Dir en grey, X Japan, or KISAKI, and do not profit from this work.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
“Do you trust me?”
It was such a basic question; simple words, simply arranged. But that one word – that one damnable word that had burned Kyo over and over again in his lifetime – had come back to torment him once more, sending his mind into a frenzy. Trust. Confidence, reliance – faith – in another human being… He had truly trusted only a handful of people over the years, but every last one of them had betrayed him in the end; peeling away smiling masks to reveal the truth behind their every manipulative lie. His most recent lesson in trust had been more devastating than all the others, so even under the best of circumstances, he would be hard-pressed to make himself so vulnerable again.
And these were nowhere near the best of circumstances.
He was sitting – damp and completely bare – on Kaoru’s bathroom counter, a plush towel beneath him to catch the warm water dripping from his hair and skin. His collar was on its charging pad, the mostly-healed wounds from his first days in this place were freshly tended. He was clean and fed and out of the soul-swallowing void that his cell had become, but fear still had his heart in his throat, still kept his muscles taut with the desire to flee. Kaoru was standing in front of him – holding a straight razor and asking him about trust – and he was entirely at a loss.
‘What… what does he want me to say?’
‘What would make him happy…?’
‘…Do I trust him?
‘How can I be expected to?!’
The events of the past week flashed through his mind. Kaoru had kidnapped Kyo; stripped him, collared him, and caged him as an animal. Kaoru had put a gun to his head, demanding his obedience on pain of death. Kaoru starved him, then made him spread his legs in exchange for the right to eat. Kaoru locked him in a pitch black, silent room with no food or water for two straight days until he was driven to madness. And yet…
‘He uses me just as much any of them ever did… more…’
‘But… he told me right from the beginning that I was his to use…’
‘He never tried to mask his intentions, did he?’
Kaoru had promised him that that if he misbehaved, his life would be an unmitigated hell, brought upon himself by his own actions, and every word of that had been proven true. Kaoru had promised him that he had no life and no worth beyond what he could do for the man. That was true as well. Kaoru had promised him that the quality of his life was dependent on his captor’s mood; that he could end Kyo at any time without consequence or qualms, that Kyo was his and he could treat him however he damn well pleased… That he could take and take and take until Kyo had nothing left, because all he had in the world was what Kaoru chose to give him…
‘His word is… all I have, isn’t it?’
So far as Kyo could tell, Kaoru had never once lied to him.
“Answer me. When we’re in private like this, I expect you to be honest.”
‘He wants honesty?’
‘When all is said and done…’
A whisper began to creep out of him, “I think-”
“Speak up, pet. If the collar is off or deactivated, you may assume you have permission to speak, so long as you can remain civil,” Kaoru corrected him.
Kyo swallowed, staring at the floor. Even when he wasn’t wearing it, the memory of his collar was menacing. But he forced himself to speak aloud – though his voice remained soft – because Kaoru had demanded it. “I think… I think you might be a devil…”
‘Please don’t be angry.’
“Oh? What makes you say that?” Kaoru wondered, amused.
“What else could you possibly be? How else could you… Every time you touch me, it feels like you take another piece of my soul. Every time you look at me, it feels like my every sin is… laid bare. And when you speak… gods… when you speak, it’s like every word is burned into me, and I can never escape your voice, even when you’re not around, I…” Kyo’s voice wavered then, dying out under the strain before bubbling back to life. “But then… you have power beyond what I give you, power all your own… power over life and death… and doesn’t that make you a god?” Shaking his head, he lifted his gaze to meet Kaoru’s, as confused and as resolute as he’d ever been. “I trust that whatever you want to happen… will happen, one way or another. I trust that… things will get better if I… if I just don’t make you angry…”
Kaoru seemed entertained by that answer. “I suppose that’s a healthy perspective, given the circumstances. Well then, tilt your head back, and try not to shake too much.”
Kyo bit his lip. Kaoru was holding a straight razor, asking him about trust, and telling him to bare his throat? What could he possibly-
-“So long as you behave yourself, I’m not going to hurt you.”-
Taking a deep breath and holding it tight, Kyo placed all of his faith in the memory of those words, because they were the closest thing he had to hope. He tipped his head back obligingly, baring the soft flesh of his neck. He held absolutely stock still – eyes fixated on the ceiling light and hands gripping the edge of the counter hard – as something cool and smooth slicked over his cheeks, chin, and jaw, and from the corner of his vision, he saw Kaoru lean in close, smelled the man’s expensive cologne and felt-
‘…He’s…’
Felt the cold slide of steel run smoothly up the side of his face.
‘Shaving my face?’
With the same deliberate care the man had shown in everything Kyo had ever seen him do – bandaging him, feeding him, petting him, fucking him – Kaoru shaved away a week’s worth of facial hair. It was almost… soothing, somehow, the gentle caress of such a deadly blade wielded by such a competent hand, and his eyes drifted shut as his captor worked. Kaoru was very good with his hands… Kyo slowly released the breath he’d been holding and felt himself relax just a shade, moving his head only when his keeper’s light touch guided him to do so. He was being rewarded, it seemed, for his-
‘Trust?’
‘That’s too much! I can’t-…!’
‘…And yet, he’s-… he always-… what else do I have…?’
“There we are. That’s much better.”
Kyo’s face was wiped clean with a damp towel, then thin hands wrapped around his waist to lift him down off of the counter. He was given another hakama to wear – this one made of soft, thick scarlet cotton – and he tied himself into it gratefully. Why Kaoru wanted him wearing even a casual version of such an incredibly formal bit of clothing, he couldn’t begin to guess, but the garment was warm and acted as a shield for his battered dignity, so he welcomed every stitch of it without question or complaint. When Kaoru picked up his collar and moved to put it back around his neck, however, he ducked his head, shying away nervously as panic twisted in his chest. He knew what came next.
“Do I… do I have to… go back? I-Into that room? Th-the darkness, I don’t… I don’t think I…” Kyo thought of his empty cell and cringed, feeling the madness of sensory deprivation still eating away at his nerves. As much as the prospect of staying awake longer made his bones ache with exhaustion, as much as the prospect of asking Kaoru for anything made his stomach quiver with terror, the alternative was so much worse. “Please, can’t I stay out just a little longer?”
“Lift your chin, pet.”
Kyo deflated miserably. Kaoru’s voice was entirely apathetic, and stripped him of any hope he might have had for avoiding his cell. At least the man wasn’t angry with him for having asked; he could be thankful for that much. He lifted his head obediently, watching his keeper’s unbearably calm face as the man secured the collar on him once again. But Kyo looked so downtrodden – his eyes so dark with grief, his mouth turned down with such utter dejection – that Kaoru had to chuckle in spite of himself, rustling the younger man’s hair fondly.
“Well how can I say ‘no’ when you look at me like that?” Kaoru wondered, amused. “You make me feel like I just kicked a puppy down a damn drain pipe.”
Some of Kyo’s sorrow faded from his face, replaced entirely by confusion.
‘He’s… teasing me…?’
‘He’s so different when he’s in a good mood…’
“I suppose you have been awfully sweet tonight… Tell you what; I’ll give you a choice. I can turn the light back on now, or you can stay in the dark for one more night. If you choose to have the light now, you’ll have to spend tomorrow in your room by yourself. If you choose to spend tonight with the light off, I’ll turn it back on in the morning, and you may accompany myself and the others on our picnic lunch.”
By then, they had moved to stand in front of the doorway to Kyo’s cell, and the blonde stared into the gaping abyss anxiously. He was torn by the choice he’d been given. Even now, he was sure he could see the demons writhing in the shadows; could hear them whispering to him, calling for him. They were waiting for him to return so they could plunge him into madness once more. Kaoru had soothed the physical suffering inflicted by Time Out – the starvation, the dehydration, the filth and weakness – but nothing could hold off the psychological assault his own mind inflicted on him while in the void.
‘But… to go outside again…’
‘Even if he has me on the leash…’
‘To feel the sun… the wind…’
Kyo had not been born in Tokyo; he was not a creature of the steel and concrete city crush. He’d spent his childhood among the gnarled branches of ancient trees, on creaking wooden bridges spanning over rushing streams, with birds overhead and bugs underfoot. Those years had instilled in him a deep-seated love of open spaces and a claustrophobic twinge that unsettled him when walls and ceilings fought to keep him contained. And he knew – he knew, even when the memory was partially damaged by head trauma and drugs – that Kaoru’s home was surrounded by a vast, flourishing garden. Even if he didn’t remember how the chase began or ended, he recalled running the night he’d first come to this place, and within that memory, he found the smell of grass and fall pollen, the sound of water tinkling by, the feel of leafy branches brushing over his bare arms.
Kyo realized what his choice had to be.
“I… I want to go outside… please?”
Kaoru nodded, looking pleased. “Alright then. Try to get some sleep, and if you can behave yourself for one more night, I’ll take you out into the gardens.”
Head hung, shoulders slumped, Kyo moved reluctantly into the darkness of his cell. He heard the door start to swing shut behind him, saw the band of light in front of him beginning to narrow, and looked back over his shoulder at his keeper’s retreating back. Something occurred to him – a question that would ramp the madness waiting for him in the dark to a fever pitch if he didn’t get the answer now – and he turned quickly.
“Ka-… Master Kaoru?”
Kaoru paused, looking back at him curiously. “Yes, pet?”
“You… you’re not angry, are you?”
The older man smiled. “Not at the moment, no. Why do you ask?”
Kyo shifted nervously. “I just thought… because I called you a devil, before…”
Kaoru chuckled. “Even if something like that could offend me, I did tell you to be honest. I’ll never punish you for doing as I ask. Besides, others have called me the same plenty of times in the past.” Scratching his chin thoughtfully, he grinned a bit, and added, “I’ve also been called a god a few times, though you’re the first to call me both in the same breath.”
Kyo bit his lip, nodding as he backed himself slowly into his corner and huddled into it. With a faint smile still curving his lips, Kaoru turned away from his pet then, shutting and locking the door behind himself. Everything was dark and silent once again, and Kyo’s heart began to pound restlessly in his ears as the air went thin in his lungs. He clenched his hands into the folds of his hakama, grateful for its warmth, and focused his thoughts on the reward he’d been promised, clutching at the final fragile thread of hope keeping him stitched together.
- 12
- 13
- 14
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Miwaku no Zakuro