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When You Go	By : poe Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 2385 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
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I don't know or own MCR.
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She didn't remember dying.
With a distant sense of anxiety, she wondered if the faint voices she heard meant that she was about to die again. She wondered if she'd remember it this time, or if it would hurt as much as the first.....
While she didn't remember dying, she remembered, at a later time, voices around her saying that she had. Or that she should have. She remembered the searing pain in her wrists, the dry ache in her throat and the last thing she had thought of before this bleak oblivion had taken her for its own. I'll always love you, Frank. That one thought above all others had stayed strong in her mind. At the present time she was hard pressed to remember why.
It was like that though, she knew. While she had not yet fully regained consciousenss, she was aware enough sometimes to remember what she had done. At those times, she wished that they had finished the job she so apparently had not. But she didn't have the strength to die again.
Sometimes she heard his voice. She didn't always remember who, but then she would hear herself say it in her mind. Frank. He talked to her all the time. She couldn't always make out the words, but mostly he told her that he loved her, that forgave her, that she had to come back. That was the hardest part. She often felt on the verge of tears, had she been capable of them at that point. Remembering why he was forgiving her. If he even was. She knew that the things she thought he was saying could very well be some act of her imagination. Her mind often played tricks on her while she was unconscious. Sometimes she thought she heard Gerard's voice, and she would sweat in the terror, thinking that maybe she was just sleeping, and she'd wake up next to Gerard....
She pushed away the thought. All she cared about right now was Frank. She ached for him to kiss her, to hold her against him and comfort her. But she couldn't speak to tell him that, couldn't move to show him she was okay. She didn't know how long she had been here, or where "here" even was. But she was wasting away....
This time was different though. She found that her consciousness was more alert than it had been before. She tried wiggling her fingers. It worked, a little awkwardly, but it worked. Her eyelids fluttered in and attempt to open. Just let me see him, she thought to herself.I just have to see him again, to remember his face...
She was greeted by the blinding light of day coming through the curtains. She tried to move a hand to block out the light, but found she couldn't make them obey. She immediately closed her eyes against the searing brightness. It certainly doesn't help that the entire room is white. She tried again, this time able to actually focus on things in the room instead of the angry white glare that struck her. She looked down and saw that her hands had been shackled, and her wrists bandadged. She was wearing a hospital gown, and she was in a hospital bed. I guess that's where I am... She looked around the room again to see if Frank was with her. There. She saw him in the corner of the room, sleeping in a chair, arms folded accross his lap, his head rolled back, and his legs propped up on the bed. He looked so peaceful....
"Frank," she wanted to call out, but found that her voice only came in a hoarse whisper at first. She whispered his name again, and it was enough to wake him. He opened his eyes slowly, and moved his head back, and she could tell by the grimace on his face that this had not been the first night he'd slept in that chair. He looked around the room trying to figure out what had awakened him. And then with shock he realized that her eyes were open and looking into his.
He leaped onto the bed, his arms going around her, kissing her face, holding her as tightly against him as he dared. She had tears in her eyes when he pulled away from her. "Frank?" she whispered again, as if afraid that this entire moment was a dream that she would discover had not been true.
"Luca," he murmured, over and over again, rocking her back and forth in his arms. She was content to stay like that forever....He took her hand in his, realizing that she still had the ties on her wrists, and undid them gently, pulling her against him again in a real hug. She wrapped her arms around him, so happy that he was here, never wanting to have to leave his arms ever again. "Don't you EVER do that to me again," he whispered as he kissed her forehead. "I was so scared, Luca. So scared....." She finally pulled away from his embrace, knowing that she had to resolve this before she fell back asleep.
"Frank..." she looked up into his eyes and thought that he had never looked so beautiful to her before. His eyes were red from tears and lack of sleep, his hair messed up as usual, his clothes rumpled and wrinkled from spending the last however-long he'd been here in them.
"I'm so sorry Frank, so sorry," she mumbled, her eyes brimming over with tears, spilling down her cheeks and lips and running down her throat. He pulled her against him again, rubbing her hair, cooing into her ear.
"Shhh....Luca it's okay. Didn't you hear me? I told you I forgave you. I told you everyday...." She buried her head into the crook of his neck, taking in the scent of him, the feel of his shirt against her face.
"I did hear you, Frank." she whispered into his shirt. "I heard you, and I had to come back. I had to tell you that I love you." She looked up at him again, and he leaned in to kiss her. She put a hand to his lips. "Not yet, Frank. I have to tell you the whole story first."
"I don't need to hear it Luca. It's in the past, it's done."
She shook her head. "No. I have to tell you, so I can forgive myself. And then we can start over, fresh, no lies. Okay?"
He nodded, and she began. She told him about that first night she met him. She told him about how she had thought that she'd had feelings for Gerard, but it was really just lust. She told him about the kiss, about everything that she could think of that pertained to him. And even though she knew it must be hurting Frank to know what she had really been thinking, in the long run, they would trust each other more than before. He would know everything. He would know that he never had anything to fear from her or Gerard.
He just sat on the bed listening to everything she said. Sure, it hurt to hear some of the things she told him, but he knew that she had to say it, for her own sake, to appease her guilt. So he let her continue until she was finished. She sat silently waiting for his response, hoping that now that the whole story was out that he would still want her.
"Luca, I can't pretend that I'm not still hurt over what happened. But I know that it wasn't because you didn't love me. I know you never meant to hurt me. I stick by what I've been trying to tell you since you got here, only you weren't awake to hear it; I love you, and I forgive you. And I will never want anyone else as long as I live."
She turned her tearfilled eyes to meet his, and he leaned over into the space between them and kissed her.
It was the most beautiful, the most meaningful, and the most wonderful kiss that Luca had ever received.
She fell back into sleep, that kiss still tingling on her lips like the promise of a better morning.
- 13
- 14
- 15
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When You Go