Aberrance | By : MementoxMori Category: Dir en grey > Het - Male/Female Views: 8660 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Hey guys! No I'm not dead! Sorry it took so long. KyoMuse didn't want to be angry for me. Anyway...inspiration for the Kyo portion of this chapter came from the song The Hard Way by Fort Minor. I'd also like to take the time to thank my dear friend Lina for the idea of using the photo..thanks hun! :) Also..I've already got some really good ideas for the next chappie so hopefully you guys won't have to wait 2 months for another update..lol..I apologize again! Reviews are love! Hope you guys enjoy!
Kaoru and Jae sat curled up together on the couch, a blanket draped loosely over them as they quietly sipped their coffee. He rubbed her back idly as he tried to think of the best way to broach the subject of Kyo. Everyone else was still asleep and he figured this was as good a time as any to voice his concerns.
"What's wrong?"
He looked at her, surprise registering on his features and then his mouth broke into a small smile. "Am I really that obvious?"
She nodded with a knowing smile. "You're quiet and that means you're thinking about something. So what is it?"
"I don't think I should take Tristan to see Kyo."
"I don't either."
He shot her a perplexed look. "But last night..."
"I was angry. I don't expect you to fully understand because you're not a parent. When you have a child, your wants and needs take a backseat to theirs. You never want to see them hurt or upset. You don't want them to go through the same traumas you did as a child. As unreasonable as it is, you want their life to be perfect, or as close to it as humanly possible. Tristan is such a strong boy. Growing up without his father and watching the way other mothers at his school treated me caused him to learn to shoulder so much responsibility at such a young age. He's fought so hard for the respect he believes we deserve even though we're not a traditional family. I just don't want him to have to fight anymore."
"He'll get through this, just as he has everything else."
"But he shouldn't have to get through anything! This is for Kyo and I to sort out between ourselves. Tristan shouldn't have to deal with this on top of everything else."
"You can't try and shelter him now. He will think you're babying him and he won't like it."
"I know, I just don't want him being caught in the middle of this. Knowing Kyo, he's probably still pissed at me. There is one thing I meant last night though; he won't abandon his son. He can hate me if he wants but he will have a relationship with Tristan."
"He'll come around Jae, he just needs time to cool down."
She heard a door upstairs open and someone began walking down the stairs. She could tell from the footfalls that it was Tristan. Sure enough he rounded the corner and came into the living room, laying down on his back on top of Kaoru and Jae's entwined legs.
"I feel like shit" he said matter-of-factly as he glanced up at them.
Jae smirked and reached down to ruffle his hair. "Maybe you'll feel better after a shower."
He nodded and got up, heading back upstairs to take a shower. When he came down, he got a cup of coffee and sipped it slowly as he began gathering his things so he would be ready when Ayumi's mom arrived.
"So is Ayumi your girlfriend?" Kaoru asked suddenly.
Tristan stopped what he was doing completely to shoot Kaoru a look that screamed, Are you crazy?! "Oh hell no, we're just friends. Dating her would be...creepy. I'd feel like I were dating my sister or something."
Suddenly there was a quick knock at the door followed by it opening. "Hey, anyone home?" A teenage girl with raven and red locks that fell to the middle of her back appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.
"Hey Ayu-chan I'm almost ready." When Tristan turned, he found her staring wide-eyed into the living room.
"Is that...Kaoru...from Dir en grey?" she whispered.
"Yeah come on, I'll introduce you." When she didn't move he rolled his eyes and tugged on her hand, dragging her into the living room. After he made the introduction, he turned slightly to see Ayumi with her mouth gaping open. He smirked and placed his fingers under her chin and pushed her mouth closed. He leaned in close. "I think this is the part where you say something."
She glared at him and swatted his arm playfully. "Thanks for the tip Waru-chan" she said as she returned his smirk with one of her own. She then turned her attention back to Kaoru, smiling and bowing politely. "It's nice to meet you, Kaoru-san."
He gave her a heart-stopping smile. "It's nice to meet you too, Ayumi."
"Well I suppose we should get going. I don't know what time we'll get done so I'll call later" Tristan said as he turned and found Ayumi zoning out and gawking again. Shaking his head, he tugged on her hand and started directing her towards the back door. "Quit drooling, we're leaving now!"
Kaoru chuckled into Jae's hair. "It's a shame he'd never date her. They look cute together."
She smiled and nodded in agreement. "She's a nice girl. Besides, they're still young and he could always change his mind."
"Did anyone ever say things like that about you and Kyo? he asked thoughtfully.
"My mother. She would always make little comments about it. I remember one time when we were thirteen we had fallen asleep together on the couch and my parents came home. They both said something along the lines of us looking so adorable curled up together that they couldn't bear to ruin the moment by waking us up." She smiled sadly and gazed off into the distance as she recalled the memory.
He hugged her closer to himself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stir up the past" he whispered against her hair.
She shook her head. "If you hadn't I'm sure my brain would've done the job. The more time passes the more I'm going to have trouble keeping my memories at bay." Her attention was diverted by shuffling coming from upstairs. "Well I better go make another pot of coffee" she said as she rose and headed for the kitchen.
His conflicting emotions fought behind his eyes as he watched her retreating back. Kyo I know you're angry but I hope you don't punish her for this for the rest of her life.
Kyo sat perched on the window sill staring vacantly at the bustling city below. He watched as a man crossed the street with his young son and felt a twinge of jealousy. His own son was now more than half grown, stuck between no longer being a boy yet not quite a man. He found himself wondering what Tristan's first word was, what it was like to watch his first steps, so many other things that he tried to picture but knew he could not. He pondered how Tristan was as a child. Was he quiet and reserved, like himself, or was he more outgoing like Jae was once she warmed up to people? His eyes followed the father and son as they disappeared into an ice cream shop. He smiled sardonically and turned from the window, his mouth slowly twisting into a scowl. Anger surged through him as he once again thought of all he missed out on, and more importantly, how betrayed he felt. He balled his hands into fists as he fought off the urge to punch something. Never in a million years did he think she would do something like this to him. He felt sick at the thought. He sunk down into a chair and stared at the wall as if he expected it to be able to give him a reason for her deceit.
His thoughts shifted to his bandmates, his friends. He hated that they were caught in the middle of this. He knew they all liked Jae and it bothered him that this situation might cause them to think they have to choose sides. Now that he thought about it, none of them seemed shocked to hear that Tristan was his son. His eyes narrowed into slits as he wondered if that's because they already knew. No...they couldn't know something like that and not tell him. They wouldn't do that to him. Of course he thought the same thing of Jae and obviously he had been wrong. He rubbed his face and let out an exasperated sigh. He couldn't dwell on this right now.
Maybe he should've went with Hitomi to her doctor's appointment.. At least then he could concentrate on something other than Jae. Speaking of Hitomi, she should've been back from her appointment by now. He hoped everything was okay with the baby. He picked up his phone and dialed Hitomi's cell but it went straight to her voicemail so maybe she was still at the clinic. He snapped his phone shut and got up to search for the doctor's business card he remembered her showing him at some point. He looked in every logical place it could have been but came up empty handed. Suddenly a thought came to him and he walked into his bedroom. He went to the bedside table and pulled the drawer open and started searching for the card. As he was shuffling through papers, his fingers landed on something metal. Furrowing his brows, he pulled it out. His fingers traced over the picture frame as he stared vacantly at the photo. It was him and Jae as teenagers and judging from the photo, it was taken not long before he left Kyoto. They had their arms draped over each other and wide smiles on their faces. His fingertips seemed to take on a life of their own as they traced over Jae's face. He clenched his jaw as he stared at the picture, his gaze hardening. Their happiness, his happiness, it was nothing more than a bold-faced lie.
"How could you do this to me?" he screamed as he hurled the picture at the wall.
He watched apathetically as the glass shattered and fell to the floor. The frame had landed face up as if taunting him and telling him he couldn't escape this no matter how hard he tried. He crouched down and began picking up the shards of glass, which reminded him so much of his broken pride. He picked up the frame, staring at the picture yet again.
"You were supposed to be different" he whispered harshly.
He swept up the glass and threw it away before going back over and picking up the frame. He was careful not to look at it as he methodically walked to the waste basket. As he held the frame above the trash, his eyes betrayed his intentions as they locked onto the picture. He swore under his breath and pulled the picture from the frame and proceeded to throw the frame into the trash. He put the picture back where he found it and sat down on the edge of the bed. Sooner or later, he knew he was going to have to face the situation. By staying away, he was being a bastard and he knew it. He just needed to be angry for awhile.
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