Don't Close Your Eyes

“H-hey Mige.” Ville stammered, feeling himself turn scarlet. Bam just stared. What the hell had he just been about to do.
“I could ask what you’re doing here?”

“I thought---I was looking---I don’t…” he finally stopped and rubbed the back of his neck.
“I was wondering if Hayley had come with you. To watch you practice.”

“No. I haven’t heard from her all weekend. She has to do a lot of volunteering. They’re gearing up for the holidays. Didn’t she tell you?” Ville frowned.

“She might have.” He shifted his weight. “If she was talking to me.”

“Dude she still isn’t speaking to you? What the hell did you do?” Bam shook his head. That girl really could hold a grudge, couldn’t she?

“I guess I really made her mad. Saying things I shouldn’t have said. And now she’s not talking to me to apologize to her, so I’m not sure what I should do. I thought that if she was here, I might have a chance to talk to her.” Mige sighed. Ville looked sympathetic.

“You’ve been in fights with her before. You know that you can’t push her into talking if she’s not ready. I don’t claim that she was right in this, but you’re way over obsessing and giving her what she wants by letting her know how desperate you are about t his.
She’ll come around when she’s ready, Mige.” Ville continued to unlace his skates. Hopefully the other boy would be too distraught to realize what he had seen. Mige just nodded miserably and sat down.

Bam was trying to tell his boner that there would be no fun time today. He was trying to tell himself that they weren’t really going to kiss. Instantly he was saddened by that. He wanted a kiss!

No he didn’t.

Yes he did.

No he didn’t. Ville was a boy. Boys don’t kiss boys. At least, he didn’t.

Yes he did. Ville was as boy. A hot boy. And maybe he just kissed the hot boys.

Mige was talking to Ville, something about a homework assignment. He wasn’t listening. Instead he was looking out at the ice. He was wishing that he could strap on his skates and get out there. The others would be coming in for their practice soon, and he wanted it so badly he could taste it.

Ville was sliding his feet into dirty Converse while laughing with Mige. The boy looked considerably happy now. Bam could understand that. He felt that away around that green eyed Finn too.

“Bam! You’re back buddy!” one of his teammates came stomping in. That was the way the hockey boys normally came in. They thought it made them look stronger, made the figure skating girls look at them.

They looked at them all right. But it was in disgust and pity. Bam could understand that now. He felt that same sort of thing when he looked at those boys now himself.

“Hey Jim. I’m not, really.” Bam mumbled. “I’m just uh… Watching?”

“Oh yeah. They look cute in their little skirts, don’t they?” Jim cawed. Bam said nothing. He felt Ville’s eyes watching him carefully. Bam just shrugged.

“I guess.”

“Hey!” Jim saw Ville. “What are you doing here with him?” he jerked his head towards the boy.

“I’m not really here with him.” Bam mumbled again. “I’m just sitting here and so is he. Doesn’t mean that we’re here together. God, Jim. You always jump to conclusions.”

Bam stood up and walked out. Jim was perplexed, but he shrugged and went out on to the ice. Mige looked at his friend after watching the curly haired boy go.

“Is there something going on between the two of you?”

“I don’t know,” Ville cleared his throat. “I need to go on home. I’ve got some homework. I’ll let you know if Hayley calls me, okay?”

“I’d appreciate it.” Mige stood up too.

**

“What the hell was that about?” Ville found Bam sitting outside the rink, elbows resting on his knees.

“What was what about?”

“Just there to watch? Not being there with me?”

“Ville, I promise, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Not at all. I just can’t say that I was hanging out with you!”

“Why not? Aren’t we friends, Bam?” the hurt glistened in his green eyes. Bam swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Of course we’re friends. I really like you, Ville.”

“Are we more than friends.”

“I don’t… I can’t…” Bam was sounding like Mige had earlier.

“If you don’t know then you don’t care! And if you don’t care, then I don’t care!” Ville turned and stalked away, skates dangling from his hands. Bam stared at him, open mouthed.

“Ville! Ville wait! Wait, come back!” he cried. But Ville just walked away faster, heedless of the younger boy’s shouts. Bam sat back down hard. There was a ball of lead in his chest, and he didn’t know quite what to do about it.