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Forbidden	By : n4n4mi Category: Dir en grey > General Views: 2209 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
A/N: I'm very sorry it took so much time to update! My school started and I couldn't spend much time at computer. But here's the next chapter.

Chapter 13

Few days passed and Kyo started to get better. His silence that had worried Shinya and Toshiya was finally ending. Now he talked but didn't say anything about the things that had happened. He didn't want to speak about it and his both friends understood it, after all Kyo had gone through a horrible experiment and almost got killed. Toshiya thought that maybe it was better this way. The most important thing was that Kyo was finally speaking and it was all that mattered.

One night Toshiya was lying on his bed under a blanket, trying to sleep. He had been trying to sleep for an hour already but he didn't succeed. All he could think about was his best friend.

His feelings towards the older boy had grown a lot in these days. It was already a long time since he had realised his love for Kyo but he had tried to convince himself that it was only a teenage crush and it would come to an end soon. But it hadn't. He was in love with Kyo and it wouldn't go away. He knew it now. It wouldn't go away.

Toshiya sighed heavily. He wanted him so bad. Every day with Kyo felt so painful because he couldn't touch him, he couldn't kiss him. He couldn't tell him how he felt because if Kyo knew, he would start to hate him. Toshiya didn't want that. It was better to keep Kyo close to him only as a friend even though it hurt him so much. He wouldn't stand losing his best friend.

And still, right now when he was lying on his bed... He felt like his heart would jump out of his chest. Oh Kyo... What would it feel like if he would someday be able to kiss him? Those red lips that were so full, so perfect.

Or what would it be like to touch that thin body? He had been dreaming about it for a while now. What would it feel like to softly move his fingers down on his best friends chest... Then maybe go even a little lower... No, that wasn't enough. He wanted more... Toshiya was almost able to imagine how it would feel to meet Kyo's naked skin against his own. He could imagine Kyo whimpering under him, whispering his name in need...

That's when Toshiya realised what he was thinking and wanted to hurt himself. Why did he have to be like this?! Why did he have to be this sick? Oh god, what was happening to him? He also realised where his hand had been travelling to and quickly pulled his hand out of his pants, embarrassed.

No. This had to end, this had to end now! He was scared...

He was scared that soon he wouldn't be able to control himself anymore.

***

Next day when Kaoru arrived in school he saw Gackt chatting with police officer Hyde in the car parking area. Actually he saw something much more than chatting. Gackt was kissing Hyde in Hyde's police car.

Suddenly he felt weird. Gackt hadn't even noticed him for few days. And now he knew the reason. Gackt wasn't obsessing over him anymore. He had someone else already.

Kaoru wasn't sure what he should had thought about it. This was what he had wanted, right? He was still in his thoughts when Daisuke found him standing in front of the biology class.

”Hey, what's up?” Daisuke asked.

”Gackt has a new boyfriend”, Kaoru said immediately and Daisuke rolled his eyes.

”Yes, he has”, the redhead sighed. ”What about it?”

Kaoru looked at his best friend, surprised. ”You knew?” he asked. ”You knew and didn't mention anything about it, huh?”

”Umm... I didn't know you would care”, Daisuke answered. ”You kept whining about wanting Gackt to leave you alone. And now he has. You should be happy about it.”

Kaoru knew that Daisuke was speaking the truth. He should be happy when Gackt didn't obsess over him anymore. But why was he feeling like this? It just felt weird. He had already gotten used to the way Gackt had been stalking him. And now he was suddenly left alone like Gackt didn't care at all.

”I know”, he said quietly. ”I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I really loved him, that's probably the reason why I feel like this.”

”Are you jealous?” Daisuke asked.

”No! Of course not!” Kaoru breathed. ”I just... Uh, I don't know. Do you think I should forget about him?”

Daisuke nodded. ”Yeah, actually I think you should. He has moved on and realised what he was doing to you. You should move on too.” He was kinda tired of all this Gackt stuff already. He wanted Kaoru to forget about Gackt and get a life. It was their last year at high school and he should enjoy his final year.

”I guess you're right”, Kaoru said with a deep sigh.

”And it's not like he's the only man ever in your life”, Daisuke added. ”I mean, there will be lots of other guys too. You'll find someone better.”

”Yeah...” Kaoru said with a nod. ”It's better this way. Besides, this is our last week at school so I won't even see Gackt again after we leave here.”

”Unless you want to become a teacher”, Daisuke said with a small smile.

”What? No”, Kaoru sighed right away. ”I have other future plans. I could become a doorman. At least I could get some extra money that way at first.”

Daisuke looked at him, lifting his eyebrow. ”Come on, you can't be serious...” he said laughing. ”You, a doorman? No way. You're not even scary at all.”

”There's no need to look scary if you're a doorman”, Kaoru said frustrated. Daisuke smiled. At least Kaoru wasn't thinking about Gackt for a while now...

***

Later that day principal Manabu gathered all the final graders into one class and told them good news.

”Like you all know, you will be having a few months long studying holiday before the last difficult exams”, he said with a happy smile. ”Some students have asked a permission for having a possibility to celebrate it here, at school. I've been thinking about it a lot. And I decided to allow you to have a nice party.”

Everyone was eyeing each other in excitement. ”Really? Really?!” they were asking from each other.

”With one condition!” Manabu said. ”You must invite all students from our school.”

”What?!”

Everyone was upset immediately. Why did they have to invite everyone? They had wanted some alcohol in their party and this had made it impossible. Some students were so young that it would be illegal to bring any alcohol there.

”Principal, isn't it our decision?” Kaoru asked. ”I think we also have a right to decide who we invite and who not.”

Manabu looked at them with a disappointed look in his eyes. ”Fine then. If you're not inviting all students, there are no party at school. That's a rule. It would be unfair to others.”

”But it's our party!” someone said angrily. ”If we don't want to invite them, we won't!”

”I have made my decision and I won't change my mind”, Manabu said calmly. ”Now it's you turn to decide what you're going to do.”

***

At the same time Toshiya, Shinya and Kyo were sitting in the school yard, waiting for the next class to begin, when they saw a strange looking guy walking towards them from the car parking area.

"Who's that?" Shinya asked immediately with an arrogant tone.

"I don't know. Haven't seen him before", Kyo answered, eyeing the stranger who soon stood up in front of them.

"Hi!" the stranger said and gave them a happy grin. They were all looking at the guy in front of them with wide eyes. This guy didn't seem to be normal at all. He must be a new student, and he was kinda tall and looked about the same age as Toshiya. Actually his face looked a lot like Toshiya's too, there was definitely some same looks in them. The stranger wasn't wearing a school uniform either. And it was very important to wear it.

"Who are you?" Toshiya asked, lifting his brow. This guy seemed weird already though he hadn't even said a word.

"Me?" the stranger asked with a crazy grin. "You can call me Miyavi. And who are you, sexy?"

Toshiya coughed with wide eyes. What was wrong with this guy?

"Umm... Hara Toshimasa", he answered with a blush on his cheeks. "And this is Nishimura Tooru. I advice you to call him Kyo if you don't want a black eye. And this is Terachi Shinya."

"Nice to meet you, guys. I'm new here", Miyavi said with a happy smile appearing on his lips.

"Yeah, we noticed", Shinya said, sounding very annoyed. "Only a newbie dares to come talk to us."

Miyavi grinned. "You're a cocky one, huh?" he said and didn't seem nervous at all though Shinya was clearly doing his best to get rid of him. "Well... anyway, I don't know anyone here because I just moved here few days ago. So I was just wondering if you could show me around here or something?"

Kyo eyed the stranger from head to toes but Toshiya managed to speak first. "I don't know if you've heard, Miyavi, but everyone must wear a school uniform here. You're not wearing one and I don't think teachers will like it."

"I know", Miyavi said. "But it didn't look good on me so I decided to wear these clothes." Everyone stared at his bright yellow t-shirt, way too tight jeans and rainbow colored tennis shoes. And... was that a hair pin?!

Shinya looked disgusted. "Are you an idiot?" he hissed. "We aren't allowed to wear normal clothes so what makes you think you're somehow special?!"

"Calm down, Shinya", Kyo sighed heavily. "He doesn't know the rules but he will soon."

"So, are you going to show me the places or are you just going to sit there?" Miyavi asked, not listening to Shinya or Kyo.

"Fine then", Toshiya said with a sigh. "Come, guys. It's not like we have something else to do at the moment."

***

Later that day all the last year's students were walking around the school yard, delivering the self made invitation cards to everyone who wanted them. Daisuke thought for a while before went to give cards to Shinya, Kyo, Toshiya and some stranger who he had never seen before.

They were all looking at him weirdly – at least Kyo and Shinya. The stranger stared at him and smiled widely. Toshiya didn't look as annoyed as Kyo and Shinya because he had acted pretty politely towards him and Kaoru after Kaoru had saved him and Kyo.

“What are you doing here, you big jerk?” Kyo asked rudely.

“Hey, give it a rest”, Miyavi said calmly and his wide smile turned into a soft one. “I am Miyavi, nice to meet you. Come and sit here --?”

“Daisuke”, Daisuke said. “But sorry, I don't have time to do that. I just came to give you these cards. It's about the party...” He gave Miyavi all four cards which Miyavi gave to all of them.

“What party?” Miyavi asked in exitement. “Your party?”

“Me and my class's”, Daisuke answered. “Anyway, I have to go now. It would be great if you all managed to come. And read the card properly for all information.”

He turned around and left. He felt very bad because Shinya had looked annoyed when seeing him. Well, he already knew that Shinya didn't want to be his friend anymore but... he had still secretly been hoping to get some contact with him.

What he didn't know was that Shinya was even more angry at him now. “Who does he think he is?!” Shinya said with a furious tone after Daisuke had gone. “He didn't even look at me even though we used to hang out just a while ago!”

“Do you want that jerk to look at you?” Kyo asked, looking idiotic.

“Why are you calling him a jerk?” Miyavi asked with a serious face. “I think he seemed like a very nice person. A shy one though. Actually he was kinda hot one too.”

“You can't be serious!” Kyo coughed. “That jerk? Hot? There must be something wrong with you.”

“I'm not kidding at all!” Miyavi sighed. “If he was interested in me, I would so bang him.”

That was when Shinya exploded. “SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!” he shouted. “ACTING LIKE YOU OWN THE WHOLE WORLD!”

Miyavi looked amazed. “What's wrong with you?” he asked.

“You make me sick!” Shinya hissed and stood up, leaving the other three sitting there, walking away.

“What got into him?” Miyavi asked, sounding surprised.

“He's got a crush on Daisuke”, Toshiya explained. “That's what got into him. He's jealous as hell, and still he also pretends to hate him. I don't get it.”

“Oh really? That's interesting”, Miyavi said. “I didn't know so... oops, I made him mad for no reason. It's not like I'm the kind of guy who steals other people's boyfriends...” Then he turned to look at Toshiya. “By the way, you aren't taken, right, hottie?”

Toshiya felt his cheeks turn red once again. Miyavi's looks and words made him all embarrassed. But he didn't notice the way Kyo looked at Miyavi with anger in his eyes.

“He's not a homo”, Kyo sighed, not giving Toshiya a chance to answer himself. “And I'm not either. You must go find another guy to cuddle with.”

“Hah... you are so boring”, Miyavi said. “But Totchi, if you happen to change your mind and start liking guys... Remember me, eh?” After that he grinned widely.

“Yeah, absolutely...” Toshiya said, trying not to sound like the mere thought horrified him. “Anyway, are we going to this party? Kyo-kun, what do you think?”

Kyo lifted his head to look at his best friend. “I'm not the type of person who likes to party but... let's go anyway.”

“Hmm, are you sure?” Miyavi asked. “Didn't you read the card? Only people who will dress like their opposite gender are allowed to come. There's a contest, the best costume wins.”

“So we have to dress like... like.. drag queens?!” Toshiya asked with a frown.”What's the point in this?”

“Well, I don't know about you two but I'm going anyway”, Miyavi said proudly. “And I'm going to win the whole contest.”

***

Kaoru was feeling down because of Gackt the whole day and it wasn't helping that Daisuke was complaining about how Shinya didn't speak to him or look at him all the time. It got into his nerves because he had heard it so many times already and Shinya had started to annoy him too because of the way he acted. Shinya was blaiming him about everything, thinking that he had stolen Daisuke or something like that.

“Why can't I be friends with him anymore?” Daisuke was whining again when they were already leaving to go home.

“Daisuke, if you want to be his friend again that bad, just go and talk to him”, Kaoru sighed. “It's not helping at all that you keep telling me how you miss him.”

“I don't miss him... I just...”

“Just admit it already! God, why is everyone acting so childish?!” Kaoru groaned, sounding very annoyed. “You like him and he likes you! What's the big deal about it? Just go and tell him how you feel and then everyones happy! And I won't have to listen to your annoying whining all day long!!!”

“Why are you so angry?” Daisuke asked offended.

“I'm just sick of your childish problems! Like I didn't have my own problems to worry about”, Kaoru answered angrily.

“Is that so? Fine then, nice to know that you care about me so much!” Daisuke snapped back. “I've always been there for you, always, and you know that. I've listened to your stories about you and Gackt-sensei and how you did this and that and after that how you whined about him all the time and I never complained!”

“Yes, you have been there for me. And I thank you for that. I'm just... not in the mood of listening to your problems today. It's better that you'll go and leave me alone”, Kaoru sighed heavily. “I'm not good company right now.”

“Yeah, right... I'll just go then so I won't bother you anymore”, Daisuke said, sounding cold. Kaoru was left alone sitting there. He felt bad for making his best friend mad but it was better this way. He wasn't the right person to be there for Daisuke, not now... He needed someone to be there for him too...

He just sat there something about half an hour, staring at his feet, but he didn't feel any better. Maybe I should go home, he thought and stood up, starting to walk slowly towards his bike.

***

When he arrived home and jumped off his bike he saw a familiar car parked in their home yard. It was Yoshiki-sensei's car. Suddenly he didn't feel like going inside at all. What was his teacher doing here? Well, he knew that Yoshiki knew his father quite well but it was still weird.

Kaoru placed his bike against the wall and walked to the front door, opening it slowly. When he was taking off his shoes, his older brother Hideyuki came to see who had arrived.

“Welcome home”, Hideyuki said. “Your teacher is here too. He came a while ago.”

“I know”, Kaoru said. “I saw his car.” He put on his slippers and left his school bag there, walking to kitchen, followed by Hideyuki. He must have looked very unsure because that's what he was. He was scared that Yoshiki had told his father about what had happened between him and Gackt. His father didn't know about he being gay and he was afraid to lose his father's respect if he found out about it...

“Hi”, Kaoru said when he saw his father and Yoshiki sitting at the table.

“Welcome home. We have a visitor as you see”, his father said. Kaoru nodded. He looked at his teacher and Yoshiki looked straight back in his eyes.

“Hi”, Kaoru said quietly.

“Good afternoon”, Yoshiki answered with a smile. Kaoru quickly broke the eye contact, nervous about what Yoshiki might already have told to his father before he had came.

“Sit and keep company to your teacher while I go get the dinner”, his father said and stood up. Hideyuki also disappeared to help his father, leaving Kaoru alone with Yoshiki. After hesitating for a while Kaoru finally sat opposite him.

There was silent for a while before Yoshiki broke the silence. “Well, Kaoru, are you excited about the school ending?”

“Yes”, Kaoru answered. There was another short silence but this time Kaoru broke it. “Why are you here, sensei?”

“What do you mean why I'm here?” Yoshiki asked, looking surprised. “You know why I'm here.”

Kaoru gulped. “Sensei, I want you to leave”, he said. “I don't want my father to know about what I've done.”

Yoshiki was very confused. “What are you talking about?” he asked.

“I'll never forgive you if you tell him”, Kaoru said. “My father doesn't know I'm gay, I haven't told him. If you tell him that I have been fooling around with Gackt-sensei, I will lose my father's respect! Please don't tell him, I beg of you.”

Yoshiki stared at him for a while, shooking his head then. “I didn't come here to tell your family about you and Gackt so you can calm down”, he said.

“Really? You didn't?” Kaoru asked, feeling better right away. “But I thought-”

“I know”, Yoshiki sighed. “But that's not the reason I'm here. I just came to talk about your good success at school, nothing else.”

“Oh...” Kaoru whispered, embarrassed. “I apologize my rudeness...”

“It's alright. Don't worry about it”, Yoshiki said with a soft smile. “When I was a student I would had been quite shocked if I had seen one of my teacher's talking to my father.”

They both laughed. “Actually I was very shocked when I saw your car parked in our yard. I was so scared you had told my father.”

“There's no need to worry about that”, Yoshiki sighed. “I'm not planning to tell your father. It's your own decision whether you tell him or not. I don't understand why you wouldn't tell him though. He's a very nice man and I'm sure he wouldn't mind you being gay.”

Kaoru shook his head. “I can't tell him”, he said. “He wouldn't understand. I don't want to ruin our good relationship by telling him.”

Yoshiki smiled. “I remember having the same thoughts when I was your age. I was scared that my parents would hate me if they knew what I am”, he said. “They found out when my mother saw from the window how I was kissing with a boy from the next door.”

“Were they shocked?” Kaoru asked.

“At first yes. They accepted it soon though. Actually they were more shocked because I hadn't told them. Trust me, Kaoru, your father wouldn't mind.”

“Well, even if he didn't mind, Hideyuki would”, Kaoru said. “He hates gays. And if he knew that his own brother is gay he would start to hate me.”

“Are you sure? I don't think he would be able to hate you. You are his younger brother after all.”

That was when Hideyuki and Kaoru's father got back. “You are eating with us, aren't you, Yoshiki?” Hideyuki asked with a smile.

“Yes, if it's okay with you,” Yoshiki answered.

“I don't mind”, Kaoru said with a smile.

TBC...

A/N: I will update as soon as I can!
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