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The Voice of a Prophet	By : FilthyWarumono Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 2756 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Dir en grey are real people and I do not know them. Simply expressing creativity and curiosity in a work of fiction. I am not making any profit from anything I do.

Chapter List
- 1-PROLOGUE
- 2-SETSUNA
- 3-SILVER COIN
- 4-MISSA
- 5-GARDEN
- 6-ZANGEKI NO YORU
- 7-JEALOUS
- 8-PROPHET
- 9-GAUZE
- 10-YUME
- 11-COURAGE
- 12-CAGE
- 13-CHARMING
- 14-TOMODACHI
- 15-SCARLET
- 16-MYAKU
- 17-OSAKA JO
- 18-HIMITSU
- 19-A KNOT
- 20-MACABRE
- 21-SHOWTIME
- 22-SHINJITSU
- 23-AKUMU
- 13
- 14
- 15
THE VOICE OF A PROPHET
Chapter Thirteen
TOMODACHI
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How to give it to him.

This question plagued me like a hovering sickness that refused to let go. I had it with me, that wasn’t an issue. Should I give it to him in private, or would that seem too intimate? Should I give it to him in front of the others, as he had my gift? That might seem more casual, but would it seem like I was sucking up to my leader? Would I seem too desperate for his attention? I was fairly sure the rest of my band noticed my sudden change of attitude when Kaoru started paying more attention to me. I was happier, I was more inclined to work. I smiled more, and I laughed. I had fun. Perhaps they saw through my charade? The redhead, he was more intelligent than I gave him credit for. Not to mention I had tried dating him and he seemed able to read me like an open book. Did he know? Did everyone know? Everyone but him, maybe. Hopefully. If Kaoru knew… would he think otherwise of me? Bah. I was thinking far too much for my own good. I couldn’t concentrate.

“Maybe if we change the bass solo at measure twenty-four… instead with heavier drumming…”
Should I hand it over in a box, like a present? Or should I just give him the necklace, hanging from my fingers? Should I tell him I bought it just for him, or should I say something clever, like I ‘found’ it and it reminded me of him? What would my excuse be for not getting anyone else a gift? I was sure my head would blow up if I thought any harder on my presentation. I sat there on the comfortable couch in the studio, with my slender legs crossed at the knee and rocking idly. We were at practice, writing a new song. At least, we were supposed to be. Myself, I was so lost in my own mind that nobody bothered to ask me what I thought about anything – maybe they took it as I was just in my zone, finding my inspiration. I was a weird character, that was for certain. Pen in my grasp, drumming absentmindedly against my upper thigh, plush lips pursed in deep thought.
“I don’t like the sound of that, Kaoru-san. What if we go an octave higher?”
Should I give it to him now? Should I wait until Later? Days from now? Never? It’s sad how much I was worrying about a simple necklace, and how to give it to one of my best of friends. Of course, he wasn’t just a good friend to me. A crush, an obsession, a love interest. Anything border lining lover, but only because he didn’t know himself. Not that we could really be an item anyway even if he did understand. I didn’t even know if he was gay. He never mentioned being attracted to anyone, never spoke of affections. It was always music, music, music with him. Maybe he just loved music the same way I just loved him, and it couldn’t be set into stone. Words couldn’t describe, stereotypes wouldn’t fit. He was so dedicated, and it only made me swoon more.
If at all possible.

While everyone else was packing up their instruments and gathering their belongings to had back home, I finally made my move. I just couldn’t wait any longer. Taking small, timid steps up to my leader, I hovered over his shoulder quietly as he folded up all the sheets of music he was scribbling on just moments before, dark chocolate orbs focused on nothing in particular. I was simply watching his hands as he worked. They were so beautiful. Yes, I’m strange. His slender fingers almost held a woman’s touch, so smooth and soft and he hated them for it. He always said they were too small – girl’s hands. It matched his name well, as Kaoru was usually a woman’s name. Maybe that was why I liked him so much. So thin, his pink and purple hair, so quiet, and the costumes he wore… the short skirts, the sleeveless shirts… even the long kimono. I sighed dreamily, and it was then that he must have noticed me.
“Naa, Kyo. What is it?”
I’m just hovering and admiring your beauty. I flashed him a small, shy smile as he turned his attention to me, my hands clamped behind my back innocently. Clutching that small, simple gift that I had yet to bestow to my affection in my palms. “Nn…” I found myself muttering. God, if it wasn’t obvious that I crushed on this man, I don’t know what was. My eyes shifted away almost nervously while my fingers traced over the silver chain in my hands, taking a slow, deep breath through my nostrils. Come on, it was only a gift. He had given me one just days before. Shifting my weight from one foot to the other, I finally extended my hand out. “I got you something.”
I watched as his slender brows quirked skywards and he set down the folder in his hands, curiously reaching for whatever it was that I had gotten him. My own eyes settled on our hands that were about to connect, mind whirring, wondering if I should have presented it to him better. I –
“Jaa ne, Kaoru-san, Kyo-san!”
The sudden calls of the other members caused me to jump. My wide orbs shifted towards the door where Toshiya and Shinya were filing out with a wave, Die not soon after them. But I did catch something that made me frown slightly, despite everything.
The look on the redhead’s face.
I felt like such a jackass just then. I knew he crushed on me, though I highly doubted he liked me as much as I longed for Kaoru. But despite the fact that I was head over heels for my leader, Die somehow still was a sweetheart to me. Every time I was feeling down, he would try to cheer me up. Whenever I needed something, he would be there for me. Hell, I even tried to use him against the man of my obsessions, and still, he took it with that flawless smile. … Had I really become this selfish? This whole time I thought I was giving everything to Kaoru and keeping nothing for myself… yet only now I realize that I was twisting and contorting everything to fit into my own master plan. Only now did I register that I was even being an asshole to my bassist, whom probably had no idea what was going on inside of my sick little head.
Maybe I really am demented.
My attention was drawn quickly back to the guitarist before me however as he said his own goodbye’s, hand hovering beneath my own and awaiting the gift. Again I shifted nervously, now debating if I should even give it to him at all. If I didn’t though, it’d be such a waste of money – that, and it would forever plague me that I didn’t have enough balls to give a simple necklace to my leader. Maybe I could wear it in shame. “Ah…” Before I could really think otherwise and forever hate myself for it, I quickly opened up my fingers, dropping the small chain into Kaoru’s palm. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest. Would it be too feminine? Too intimate? Too awkward? Lifting it with his own slender fingers, he looked it over, trying to figure out what exactly it was. I couldn’t help myself then, stammering aloud. “It reminded me of you… it…” I took a sharp breath then, feeling my cheeks burn with uncertainty. “Mm… for you, because you got me something…”
He chuckled. “Kyo, you don’t have to repay me.” I watched him wide-eyed as he lifted it up over his head, settling it at the base of his neck. I could see it dipping down between his collarbone, the sensual skin exposed and now drawing my attention even more. Great. “Demo, arigatou! I guess I looked a little boring.”
I felt so stupid. When did I not around this man? I felt like I had just made everything between us so awkward, and this was his polite way of getting around it. “Ne, I didn’t mean it like that, Kaoru-kun…” I frowned slightly, letting my eyes look over the simple charms hanging from the chain. I guess he could read the look on my round features better than I thought though, because then he stood, resting a hand on my petite shoulders.
“Iie, you were just trying to bling me out so I could be more sexy, is that it?” And again he laughed, picking up his music. “And I thought I was already drop dead gorgeous. Thank you! Let’s see if I can pick up more people this way.”
Oh, kami-sama. If he only knew. I flashed him an almost unsure smile, part of me wanting to blurt out that he was indeed beautiful, and that I would be highly jealous if he somehow picked up more crushes, but that would be bad. Very bad. He motioned towards the doors then, wanting to lock up for the night. I obediently followed him out, picking up my discarded jacket on the way.
“Maybe you need a new necklace, Kyo.”
I paused, shooting a glance towards my leader. Me? Why me? I had plenty. I was a shopaholic. Or was he hinting that he should get me something more? Something... closer? My brain went on without me as I stared at him in query. He only chuckled again.
“You seem lonely sometimes, maybe you need more company.”
I blinked at the elder male. Where did that come from? Did he know? I had no close friends. Hell, I wouldn’t have any at all if it weren’t for Dir en grey, but even then I don’t know if I could really consider any of them friends – more so simply co-workers. I was just… so anti social. I didn’t trust anyone to get close to me. I didn’t want anybody to know me. I have always been like this, even since I was young. No real friends. I guess I really did live a lonely life. Just my pet rats and me.

And of course, him. But that was just wishful thinking.

“Nn…” I only made a small sound, unsure of what I should say. I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me. I didn’t want him to change himself for me. I wasn’t worth it. I had nothing to say however, only continued walking quietly towards the train station.
“I’d ask if you’re doing anything tonight, but I already have plans.” He frowned slightly, before glancing up at the signs above us. “Demo, don’t hesitate to call me if you ever want to do something.” Popping a few coins into the machine he paid for his one-way ticket back to his district, flashing me a smile and a wave. “Anyway, Jaa, Kyo! I’ll see you at practice!”
“Jaa ne, Kaoru-kun.” I returned softly, giving him a small smile of my own as I meandered off to the other train that I had to take back to my lonely apartment. Was I really that easily read? Did he know that I desperately longed to spend time with him? And… what plans did he have tonight, and with whom? What if he was already seeing someone else? I couldn’t help but pout as I climbed aboard the JR. Maybe everything that I was doing was all pointless in the end anyway. Perhaps it was Karma paying me back for being such a dick to everyone else that I knew. I didn’t think I was that bad… but who knew. Maybe Kami-sama thought I was horrible.

Good night, Puchi and Buchi. My only true friends.

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Forever apologies for this being so late!!! Augh I've got so much going on in my life right now. xD; But I got some sweet comments last night, so I figured I'd grace you avid readers with another chapter. Enjoy, adn do leave me love! <3
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The Voice of a Prophet