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Feeling that Way	By : KayleighSiobhan Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Journey Views: 5125 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not know any of the members of Journey. This story is completely a work of fiction. There is no truth to it. I make NO money from this story.

Chapter List
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The remaining band members, Steve’s mother, and Herbie were sitting in the hospital waiting room. Well the rest were sitting Greg was pacing. Neal felt for his friend. All the years the two had been in bands together Greg had always been laid back and easy going. His behavior over the last 24 hours had clearly demonstrated the stress and agony Steve’s abduction and rape was putting him through. Finally Aaron stood up and took Greg’s arm. “Come on Greg sit down or your will be spending your tour profits to replace this floor.” “I am sorry, “ Greg told him,” I appreciate you all putting up with me through all this. But right now I just need to see him, to prove to myself that he is alright.” “And you will,” Aaron told him, “my sister is handling his case personally. And as soon as she knows anything she will come and tell us. You just have to hang in a little bit longer.”

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Steve came back to consciousness slowly, gradually becoming aware of his surroundings. The room was bright and still. Was he dead he wondered, wishing he had gotten a chance to say goodbye to his Mom and Greg. To be close to them and be held, feeling their love for him one more time. “Mom”, he whispered his voice hoarse and sore, “I love you. “ Suddenly he became aware of a woman standing by his bed. “ Steve” she said softly. He tried to shift his position in the bed and realize his right arm was secured and immobile. He tried to jerk loose and the women said “ Relax, it is alright. You are in the hospital. You were thrashing around a lot when you first came in here and we needed to put an IV in. We didn’t want you pulling it out.” You are safe now. “
When the police found you and told your friends you were on the way to the hospital my brother called me and asked me to be here to meet you and oversee things.” She looked at him and said “ You must not remember me, I am Aaron’s sister. We met last summer after a concert.
Steve asked anxiously “Where is my Mom, I need her. I need to see her.” “She is outside Steve, everyone is here, your Mom, Greg, your manager, we just need to get you taken care of first.” “Is Greg here ? “ his voice was tight as he remembered his abductors constant taunts that Greg would no longer want him. “ “Yes and Aaron said he has been worried sick,” She told him. Do you remember what happened to you ?

The man who had been writing me, threatening me. He was waiting for me. He grabbed me and took me to his house. He kept me tied up. He raped me over and over. He just kept coming at me. I begged him not to. He laughed at me and said I would like it eventually,” Steve started crying. “ I want my Mom, I want Greg, please I need to see them. Don’t they want to see me ?
Of course they do ? Lizzie told him. She looked at the raw marks around his wrists where he had been restrained. There was actually broken skin and bleeding from where Steve had fought desperately to get loose. She did not think his mother needed to see this graphic evidence of her son’s abduction. “Let me clean your wrists up and then we will have your Mom come in. Steve managed to lie quietly while the angry marks were treated and dressed. “ I’m going to give you something to help you relax, some medicine in your IV. I still need to examine you further but I am going to let you see your Mom and Greg first. Lie back and rest now. “ Lizzie injected the syringe of sedative into an IV port. She tucked the covers around Steve and said “Just rest a few minutes.” Steve was such a sweet kid she thought, it broke her heart to see him suffer like he was. She hoped she would be able to recover not just in his personal life but enough to be able to reclaim his singing career.

She gently closed the door of the examining room and walked over to where the guys and Steve’ mother were sitting. She greeted her brother who hugged her and thanked her for looking after Steve. “How is he ?” Neal asked before anyone else could open their mouth. “I am still examining him. He is stable medically. I stitched him up, when he first came in. There was some significant tearing from the sexual assault, but fortunately there did not seem to be an internal injuries. “So you definitely know he was raped,” Neal asked looking like he was going to cry. “Yeah multiple times, amongs some other things. I am still doing my assessment. But right now he is crying for his Mother and Greg so I think it would help for you both to see him for a couple minutes.

“You go first Mary, he probably needs you the most right now. “ Greg sat down trying to process everything, while the two women went into the room. The minute Steve seen his mother her reached out to her, whimpering. She put her arms around her son, holding him close to her, rocking him and speaking softly to him in Portuguese and English both. “You are safe now.” Steve choked out, “Mamãe he hurt me so much. I told him I did not want to but he forced me. I was so scared I was never going to see you again. He then reached up to his neck and said “He ripped my necklace off. I wanted that with me for ever. Greg found it we have it at home. I will bring it back to you so you can wear it again. She kissed him gently and said “ Greg needs to see you that you are now is that alright. He has been in so much pain since you went missing. “Te amo, Anjinho, “ She kissed Steve again, this time on the top of his head and wiped away his tears like he was a little boy once again. “ I will see you again later. “ She said looking into his hazel eyes. She squeezed his hand hard then left the room. Steven closed his eyes and lay back on the pillow. He was so exhausted he wished he could just sleep for about a month.

“Baby,” Steve opened his eyes again seeing Greg by his bedside. He struggled to reach a sitting position. Pain shot through his body, he was not sure weather it was from the stiches pulling on him or from the rape itself. Either way it was painful and fresh tears welled up in his eyes. Greg wanted to take Steve in his arms but he was afraid he would hurt him. However Steve pushed up against him, and Greg pulled him into tight embrace. “It is alright honey, I am here,” He held Steve close to him and said “ God I never thought I would see you again. I am so sorry I shouldn’t have left you alone. Please forgive me for that. I couldn’t live without you. “ Steve was crying again.” He grabbed me and put a knife to my throat. I tried to get loose but he said if I tried to fight him, he would take you too. He said he would rape and kill you in front of me before he raped me. “ Greg felt as if his heart was going to break, he experienced a pain worse then any he had felt during the time Steve was missing. Sheriff Rossi was right, the kidnapper had threatened Greg, and that threat was what made Steven go with him instead of trying to fight or scream for help. “ I am never going to let you out of my sight again.” Greg told him stroking his hair and rocking him gently in his arms. “ Greg he raped me, I wanted it to be you, but I could’t stop him. He laughed at me because he had gotten me first. I am sorry. I messed everything up.” “ Steve you didn’t mess anything up. What happened wasn’t your fault. You didn’t let this guy have sex with you willingly. Anyway none of it matters. I love you no matter what. I just want to have you safe with me. I want to feel you in the bed next to me every night, to go to sleep with you and wake up next to you in the morning. And we will make love again in time, when you are ready. “ A picture flashed though Steve’s mind, a horrible vivid portrait complete with sound and pain of his attacker mauling at him, forcing Steve to come in his mouth, then violently jamming himself into his body.
He could feel himself stiffen up in Greg’s arms, why would Greg want someone so used and defiled. How could Greg possibly see anything in him to love. He didn’t verbalize his thoughts though he just listened to Greg, “ It will be better soon Steve, you just need some time. I love you so much.

At that moment Lizzie came back into the room. “Greg, I want to finish my exam, then you can sit with him a bit more.” Greg sighed and held him close for a minute more before reluctantly letting go. “ I will be right outside he told Steve softly. Steve laid back down. Alright Steve I want to check you for any other injuries. She gently removed his covers and lifted the gown up. Steve let out a whimper, he was obviously fearful of any touch. Liz picked up on that and said “ I know this is uncomfortable for you I will be as quick as I possibly can. “
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By time Greg returned to the others Sherriff Rossi had joined them. Mary stood up and grabbed his hand. She profusely thank him in both Portuguese and English. But Rossi shook his head.” I am glad he is home safe Mary, but I didn’t find him. I did everything in my power. I went over old cases, I sent the police out to pound on doors, a crime scene tech went over the area where Steve was abducted. The guy left no trace, no clues, I would love to say I found him but I didn’t it.” Rossi then told them about the phone call. The guy called from pay phones to 3 different stations. He wanted us to find Steve. But the van didn’t yield any clues either. He just vanished into thin air, just like he did when he took Steve. “ He then addressed Greg ‘ I want to go over yesterday up until the abduction. I realize we have been through it before but I am hoping your mind might be clearer, you will be relaxed enough that you will remember something. “Oh god I don’t think I can deal with that anymore. I just want to take care of Steve, Greg sighed. “ This part of taking care of Steve, this guy is still out there. We want to catch this guy and make sure he is punished. I want to question Steve too but I know he is not ready for that. “You were right” Greg said with a pained expression in his eyes. “ Right about what, “ the sherriff asked. “About the rapist threatening me. He said he would rape and kill me if Steve didn’t go with him. That is why Steve let himself be taken. I would have rather been went through this myself then have him be hurt. God, why did I leave him ?
The sherrif shook his head. “Greg stop it, this guy knew what he was doing, he just waited for the right opportunity. Eventually he would have taken Steve no matter what any of you did. You are going to make yourself crazy with guilt and then you will be no use to Steve at all. I am going to go home for a few hours so I can eat and get some sleep, then I will come back this afternoon. I assume you are staying here for the night. “ It is no way I wouldn’t Greg told him. The sheriff shook his hand and said " We are going to get this guy Greg, I promise."

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Herbie was nodding off in the waiting room. Neal looked at the manager and said “You haven’t slept. Why don’t you go home and get some rest. “No ‘, Herbie sighed “ I need to get to the Journey offices and try and figure out how to deal with the rest of the tour. I have decided to cancel some of the dates or at least try to postpone them till we know what we are dealing with. Who knows how long it may take Steve to recover, if he even can recover. “ What are you going to tell people ? “ Neal asked. Herbie snorted “ I do not even know what kind of time line we are looking at here. It ain’t like Steve has a stomach virus. It is up to Steve to tell us when he is ready to get on stage again. No one spoke but they all were thinking the same thing. Despite the insensitive way Vallory had expressed himself he could have be very correct about one thing. Steve may never be capable of getting in front of audience again.

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Steve was still while Liz continued he assessment. He tried to answer he questions as best he could even though relating the details of the attack was fightening and humiliating. It was like he was being forced to relieve it. He was grateful however that he did not have to be subjected to an exam by a male doctor. He could not stand the thought
of a male touching him. Lizzie had taken two cultures for VD when suddenly Steve burst into hysterical sobbing.” It’s alright Steve,” I know that was uncomfortable but it is over. The urethral swabs were painful and degrading under any circumstances but after the trauma Steve had been through it had to be excruciating. Steve whimpered, “ He kept pushing that thing up inside me. He said it was punishment, for when I didn’t please him.” Steve covered his eyes up as if to stop the images from parading in front of them.” What made him want to hurt me so much.”
“ I am finished here”, Liz said as she pulled the cover over Steve.” You are going to be sore for a little while, but a few days rest should do wonders for you physically. " He made me come, “ Steve suddenly blurted out. He wouldn’t stop putting his hands on me, touching me and fondling me.I got hard when he did that, that means I liked it right ? It means I enjoyed it ?. “ No it doesn’t” Liz told him gently. “ It meant your body responded to a physical stimulus that is all.” I love Greg I didn’t want to be with any man but him,” Steve choked. “ It is like I cheated on him. “
“Being raped is not betraying your love for Greg. He realizes that and you need to also. “
Now why don’t you close your eyes and try and sleep. We are going to keep you over night to get fluids and antibiotics through your IV. You are a bit dehydrated. The antibiotics will help prevent any infection in the urinary tract and guard against any exposure to syphyllis or gonnorhea. Greg can take you home in the morning. I am going to go talk to him a bit more. In the meantime I can let your mother come back in. “
Steve closed his eyes again between the influence of the drug he received and the exhaustion from what his body had been through, he was asleep in a heart beat.
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Liz went back to where the others were waiting. After assuring Mary that her son was safe and stable, she asked her to go into sit with Steve for a while. She then talked to the men about Steve’s injuries and the course his recovery would most likely take. She also recommended getting him to a counselor to talk about his ordeal if he was willing. After she was finished she told Greg he was welcome to stay with Steve over night even though she hoped the young man would sleep through most of it. “ I will stay too, “ Neal offered. Maybe Aaron can drive Herbie back to the beach house to get his vehicle and make sure he gets some sleep before he tries to go back to work.
“ Aaron said, Yeah I can drive him home then I will come back and get Steve’s mother. She should go home and rest for a while also.

The two men left and Liz asked Greg if she could talk to him alone. Greg said “ Neal and I have been friends for years, and he and Steve are very close. There is nothing that you would say that either one of us would be uncomfortable about him hearing. “ Alright” Liz agreed and told the two about Steve’s confession. “ You know it just a physical response, didn’t mean he was a willing participant in anything. That is a hard thing to deal with for a rape victim to deal with. So you need to make it clear to Steve that you understand that if he brings it up. And the younger the guy is the more easy it to get a reaction even if the touch is unwanted. I mean Steve is about twenty- five, right.?
“Thirty,” Neal said, the publicity people thought it was a good idea we market him a bit younger to appeal to the teenage girls who might be interested in the band. And he could pass for that age anyway."
“Thirty is still pretty young, the point is you want to be careful to not add to his guilt or get him confused about what happened. It would be severely detrimental to his recovery...” I just want to be with him,” Greg interrupted.” Nothing that has happened will change the way I feel about him. I love him and I always will. “ I know Greg,” Liz smiled at him, “he is really lucky to have you. I am going to get Steve in a private room, and then you too can go and sit with him. But remember he needs to sleep.” I am fine with that,” Greg said, “ I just want to be near him. And I never want to let him out of my sight again. :” Neal didn’t speak but in his own head he echoed the same thought.
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Feeling that Way