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Long, Hard Road Out of Hell	By : FlameWolf666 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Marilyn Manson Views: 2983 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: As you know, I still do not know Marilyn Manson, Johnny Depp or any of the other famous people in this fic. This story is, of course, fiction. This was written for fun and no profit will be made.

Chapter List
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Author’s Note: ‘Those who flaunt their power disappear when the truly strong appear.’ - Rose (Legend of Dragoon)

Chapter Fourteen: A Big Problem

    Heaving as quietly as she could into the porcelain bowl in front of her, Raven uttered a silent prayer to the vindictive Gods above as her eyes shifted to the stick on the sink. “Please, please... not while he’s on fucking tour again! Surely you can’t be that fucking cruel! After what happened, he’ll fuck his entire career to come back here. I can’t fucking handle that!” she screamed, not caring if Amanda or Ginger heard her at this point.
    Letting out a soft sob, she laid her clammy forehead on the semi-damp bowl of the toilet as her shoulders began to shake. “Please, please, please. I just... I can’t deal with this right fucking now! You have my fucking balls in a vice here! I can’t friggin’ hide it either, yanno! He’d never forgive me,” she hissed, groaning when she heard a knock on the locked bathroom door.
    “Raven? Hun, you okay?” husked a smooth baritone that only made her cry harder. As well intentioned as Johnny was, she really didn’t need to be around anyone at the moment.
    “Go away...,” she pleaded, knowing it was useless given her history. Not that she really blamed the actor.
    Sure enough, the gentle knock became and insistent pounding. “I’m not going anywhere until you open this door,” growled a serious demand that made her skin tingle with fear as well as the tiniest bit of lust despite her deep distress.
    Letting out a shaky sigh, the dark haired femme leaned backward to flick the lock; heaving into the porcelain God once again as the entry opened behind her. “Shit...,” hissed a word that both under-exaggerated and encompassed her situation, making her giggle as soon as the most recent wave subsided.
    “That’s putting it lightly... What do I fucking do?” whispered a broken voice that sounded nothing like the strong woman just a bit earlier as a hand came to rest on her right shoulder.
    “You have to tell him,” murmured a suggestion she knew was right but didn’t want to hear.
    Shaking her head vehemently, she rubbed her arms as she looked up at the stick that basically held her fate. “I don’t even know if I am pregnant. Besides, he just left for tour. After all the times he’s come back early already, he can’t really afford anymore. We both know he’d immediately cancel to come back home and I... I just... I can’t deal with the guilt of taking away something that means so much to him,” she protested, hating how dirty the declaration made her feel.
    After her miscarriage, Manson would be likely unwilling to leave her side at all during this pregnancy. He was likely to be extremely protective as well as fearful, making her decision to hold back on the news even harder for her to really justify. “You can’t just hide it either! He has to come home eventually and I think he’ll notice that you’ve developed a pregnant belly while he’s been gone. While he seems to love us both, there’s no doubt some amount of mistrust and jealousy would arise from that,” Depp pointed out, punctuating her thoughts and making her grimace slightly.
    “I know... Fucking Hell, why’d this have to happen now?! I really don’t know what to do here!” wailed out of her as she slowly got to her feet to wash out her mouth.
    On her way to the sink, she allowed her eyes to travel to the dreaded test; her heart skipping a few beats when she saw the double pink lines. A positive. Feeling a bit faint, she turned on the cold tap full blast; splashing some of the icy liquid into her heated face. Then she was grabbing a bottle of mouthwash, gargling it while her second lover pressed up behind her to wrap gentle arms around her pudgy waist. “We’ll call him together, okay? Maybe if we both talk to him, he’ll be willing to see his tour through,” the thespian hummed in her ear, the musky scent of his cologne doing wonders to calm her nerves.
    “M-maybe...,” she whispered, startled when she heard a floorboard creak near the open doorway. Looking up, she saw the concerned faces of Amanda and Ginger looking in on her.
    Once she was certain she would vomit again, Raven allowed herself to be led to the living room; blinking when Lily immediately curled up on her lap. As if sensing her condition, the fierce feline growled angrily at anyone she deemed too close. Sighing and scratching the protective animal, the former freelancer pulled out her phone; looking down at it like it was some horrible monster. Looking up at the trio standing in front of her, she got a nod of encouragement; the gesture somehow not making he feel a bit better about what was going to occur. Taking a deep breath, she pressed the green phone by Manson’s name as she let it out.
    It had only been a few days but he already missed her. Having Jeordie to warm his bed was a pale comparison to Johnny and Raven but it was better than nothing at all. More importantly, the switch guitarist kept him from laying with groupies. Snuggling into the bony chest under him, the singer opened one eye as he heard a familiar ring tone come from the device on the nightstand. Yawning, Manson reached over his sleeping underling to snag his cell. “Hey sweetie, you okay?” husked out of him, his muscles still tingling from the bout of fucking he’d had with his ex boyfriend.
    “Er, k-kinda. Listen, there’s uh, something I’d like to t-talk to you about. W-would you mind if I put you on speaker?” whispered a nervous response he honestly hadn’t expected and immediately told him something was wrong.
    In an instant, he was upright; scooting to the end of the bed to get to his feet and pace with his phone pressed firmly against his head. “Yeah, yeah, go for it,” he urged, not caring what happened, just as long as she told him what the fuck was going on. A quick beep and strange sounding, faraway voices soon followed; letting him know the exact moment it happened.
    “Right, can you still hear me?” came a staticy, echoey sounding version of Raven’s voice over the line.
    “Loud and clear,” he assured calmly, despite being inwardly ready to claw his way up the walls. Unable to stay still as he waited for the information she wanted to tell him, he found himself seriously craving alcohol; mismatched eyes scanning for bottles he no longer had.
    “Marilyn... I’m, uh... I’m p-pregnant,” came an announcement that made his blood run cold with fear. Breath hitching in his throat, he felt himself sway as Twiggy shot to his feet to catch the weakened singer.
    “Wh-what?” he gasped out, his vision going gray as he hoped against hope that he had just misheard. All this got was a small squeak that tore at his heart before there were some fumbling noises.
    “Brian? It’s Johnny. Raven’s pretty sure she’s pregnant,” came another voice, the words making his reality pull away even further. Without realizing it, the performer had sat on his bed; a strange expression in his mismatched eyes as he stared at a point at the floor.
    “Pregnant...,” he gasped out, more for Jeordie’s benefit than his own. If the man kept flailing for attention, he was liable to just fly away.
    “Y-yeah... I’m so sorry. What do you want to do?” came a feminine sounding response from a far distance away. The fear and uncertainty in her voice was enough to wake him up, his heart racing as he shot to his feet once again.
    “If you’re willing, we can keep it. I just wish this had come at a better time. I’m kinda between a rock and a hard place now. While I really want to come home, I just can’t. If I bow out on any more performances...,” he whispered, feeling a mixture of guilt as well as deep fear. More fumbling ensued, interrupting him mid-sentence.
    “No, no! It’s okay! We were afraid you’d want to drop the tour and we were going to encourage you not to,” assured Raven, sounding relieved and helping him feel a bit better about the spot he found himself in.
    “Really? Well that makes it a bit easier, at least on the business end of things. I just wonder if I can handle being separated from you while you’re carrying my child,” Manson sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he let out a distressed noise. The guitarist behind him merely placed his hands on the rocker’s shoulders, nuzzling up to the singer’s neck.
    “Listen, you need to call me often. Every time you have a doctor’s appointment, you tell me what happened. If you have any complications, you call me immediately,” demanded the temperamental celebrity.
    “Of course. I was going to do that anyway. Try not to worry too much, okay? Its not as if I’m alone here. I have Amanda, Ginger and Johnny here. Even Jonathan Davis is going to pop by some time later today,” his fiance reassured before they descended into a conversation about what had happened since he was gone.
    Later that night, as she stared up at the ceiling while Depp snored quietly beside her, Raven found herself honestly happy for how well that had all gone. Not only had Manson taken the news in stride but he seemed in a fairly low amount of distress, at least for the circumstances. He was still a bit more stressed than she would like him but there was really nothing she could do about it now. So, with a soft sigh as she snuggled into the warm form of the actor sharing the bed with her, she simply closed her eyes and tried to get some sleep. She had a meeting with her record label about her new album. They wanted to know what artwork she wanted to use as well get her to come in to re-record a few of the tracks she had done solo. She couldn’t really afford to lose out on sleep tonight.
    Downstairs, Davis was standing outside the front door of the large mansion; watching the sidewalk from the safety of the shadows. Taking a drag from his cigarette, his shifted his gaze as Ginger came out to join him. “Every now and again, I see the same two guys skirt past. Its like they’re casing the place,” whispered the songwriter, blowing out a cloud of nicotine. The blonde to his left let out a low growl, taking an offered cancer stick and lighting it.
    “I think I have a good idea who they are,” the drummer rasped, taking a hit off the nicotine tube and blowing it out slowly.
    “Since you’re probably going to be staying here while Manson’s gone, I should probably tell you but that’s the only reason. Under normal circumstances, I would never tell you unless Raven okay’d it. They’re her psycho exs, more than likely. They’re the reason we moved here, besides her parents. If you ever see them, you need to get them off the property before she catches sight of them herself,” he continued before launching into a quick explanation as well as description of the pair.
    By the time he was done, Jonathan was fuming; tense and ready for the next time he caught sight of the mysterious pair. “So that’s why they’re hanging around. With her expecting, any kind of stress could spell disaster. Especially with her history of miscarriage,” the rock star snarled, dropped his expended butt to the ground; stomping it with a motorcycle boot as his put his hands in his jeans pockets.
    “And they would be all too happy to know they caused such a disaster,” Ginger responded, his normally kind eyes full of an acidic hatred.
    “Kinda glad I came around now, to be honest. While I don’t really care for Manson, Raven is an entirely different matter. For a short while there, I was falling in love with her while she and her man were separated,” Jonathan breathed, chuckling when he saw the suspicious look he was getting from the rival band member.
    “Don’t worry. I know I don’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell at her. Not with two men to worry about now. Not to mention the fact she really only has eyes for the butthead on tour,” the metal star grumbled, sounding slightly bitter as he shook out another cig for himself. Ginger merely narrowed his eyes at the other male next to him, not fully convinced.
    He’d seen the way the lyricist looked at the woman he considered his sister. If Davis had half a chance, he’d likely take the woman for himself. Still, at least the man had her best interests at heart. So, instead of retorting the way he wanted to, the percussionist simply kept watch with his fellow musician; tensing at the stray shadows as the hours slowly ticked by. “You know... Raves is something else entirely. Something about her just seems to make me want to protect her, to make sure she’s safe,” came a confession that shattered the silence, drawing his gaze back to the almost miserable celebrity. For a few seconds, the mustached male looked on the verge of tears. To his relief, however, this expression was soon replaced by the cocksure grin he was used to; a chuckle coming from the kilt clad metal star.
    “That’s what makes all of this very... interesting,” came a deep growl, a strange glint in dark eyes.
    Yawning loudly as she wandered downstairs to have some breakfast before she started her day, Raven blinked when she saw Jonathan Davis asleep on one couch while her best friend’s husband sprawled on the other. Their mouths were hanging open as they let out loud snores in unison, the stench of stale cigarettes and booze filling the air and making her nose crinkle in displeasure. It looked like the pair had been up all night. Eyes roving over their limp forms, she doubted she wanted to know what they were doing with all that time either. So, shaking her head as she rolled her eyes, the rising singer made her way into the kitchen to continue with her earlier plan.
    Amanda, on the other hand, was less inclined to just let the absence of her meek partner go. As soon as she had awoken to their bed being empty, she was getting to her feet to rush downstairs; caught between fear and irritation. As soon as her eyes landed on his prone form, however, all other emotion ebbed away for anger. All manner of questions filled her head as the writer closed the distance to the couch he laid on, green eyes scanning his half naked body for injuries. When she saw nothing, her ire mixed with reluctant relief.
    Sighing out as she felt herself already letting go of her irritation, the five month pregnant journalist bent awkwardly to brush his bleached bangs out of his acne scarred face. “I expect you to tell what you were doing last night when you wake up,” she hissed, the smell of food cooking drawing her attention to the near-by kitchen. Straightening slowly, she followed her nose into the room; a bit surprised at what she saw. Instead of Johnny doing the cooking, it was Raven; a silly smile on her face as she hummed to herself.
    With a deftness she hadn’t expected, the other woman flipped the eggs she was frying so the yolks would be covered. Whistling a strange tune, the former artist plopped some bacon into a screaming hot pan; getting an aggressive sizzle as soon as it hit the metal. For someone who usually stuck to microwave food, she was cooking as if she’d been in a kitchen for years; utterly baffling her long time friend. As it was, the curly haired femme simply shook her head to clear away the fog before making a noise in her throat to get the oblivious woman’s attention.
    Jumping slightly, Raven whirled to face the woman that she’d known since childhood; feeling her heart skip just a few beats. “Jiminy Christmas Mandy, you just about scared the life out of me! You okay? Did you need anything?” she gasped out, immediate worry washing over her as hazel eyes travelled to her friend’s swollen stomach.
    “No, nothing like that Me... er, Raven. I just smelled something cooking and decided to see what it was,” assured the journalist across from her quickly, giving a wide smile to show just how okay she was. That was when her empty stomach decided to add its two cents, gurgling loudly and making itself very known.
    Immediately, a teasing smirk curled the former freelancer's pale face; an eyebrow quirking as she turned back to the food. “Really? It had nothing to do with you hoping to beg some breakfast off a certain, soft hearted actor?” purred a sassy response as she watched her pregnant companion squirm in guilt.
    “No!” came the heated reply, followed by an almost whiny grumble from her stomach. Placing both hands over her bulging womb, the writer blushed as her gaze travelled to the tile floor.
    “M-maybe...,” she corrected in a petulant whisper, sounding a bit like a child that had a piece of candy stolen from them.   Raven merely giggled, adding more food onto the hot pans after she’d pulled off what was already cooked.
    “Take these. Won’t take long too make more and I’m not that hungry anyway,” Raven offered, giving the first plate of eggs and bacon to her pregnant soul sister.
    Knowing better than to argue, Amanda took the offered platter; murmuring a shamed thanks before she went back into the living room. Shaking her head slightly, the dark haired femme placed her hand on her flat stomach. It wouldn’t be long before she resembled her friend and there was no guarantee her fiance would be here for it. Sadness immediately wrapped its way around her heart, squeezing tightly as she felt tears tickling her eyes. Sniffling slightly, she took a breath as she forced the feeling away. While the situation wasn’t ideal, Manson needed her to be strong for him. He needed to know he could be away from her without her doing anything to hurt herself.
    Gritting her teeth in determination, she felt a small sliver of shame bloom inside her that she hadn’t always been this strong. She’d made several mistakes while in this relationship with Manson, she’d done things she was now deeply ashamed of and regretted. With how stable things had been, she really didn’t want to risk any of it with her own, silly neuroses. Just the mere fact that he was counting on her was more than enough to help her push through. So, with a smile on her face, Raven flipped the bacon as she began to whistle once more.
    Manson, on the other hand, wasn’t handling things as well as he had seemed to while he’d been on the phone with her. The moment he’d hung up, he’d started a downward spiral into full on panic. Pacing the room like a caged animal, the singer tore at the fringe of his hair; his jaw taut and twitching as he moved. One word poured out of him in and endless mantra while his mismatched eyes fixed on the stained, matted carpet below his bare feet.   That word was ‘pregnant’.
    Jeordie was there in an instant, taking the distraught superstar into his arms; murmuring words of comfort as a hand moved through ebony hair. “Shhh, she’ll be fine honey. She has Johnny, Mandy, Ginger and even Davis there. If anything happens, I’m sure you’ll be called,” assured the dress clad male, pressing his lips against his ex’s twitching right temple.
    “That’s not the fucking point! Fucking Hell... I could be on this fucking tour for months! Do you have any idea what this will do to my fucking head?! Knowing she’s pregnant while being a miscarriage risk and I’m fucking states away from her! Its bad enough we’re being separated in the first place! I love her but the woman doesn’t have the best track record for mental stability. Neither do I, to be fair, but you know what I mean!” the rock star hissed, turning to burrow his face into the other man’s chest. An action that took the switch guitarist off-guard.
    Not only was Manson not well known for readily showing his vulnerability but he often lashed out if you stumbled across him during a moment of weakness. To having him actually seeking comfort was almost tantamount to having an out of body experience. It was all Jeordie could do to wrap his arms around the normally volatile male, silently praying this wouldn’t blow up in his face. To his further shock, the performer began to sob; his thin body shaking with the power of his emotions. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to her. Losing that first child devastated her. Especially given the fact she didn’t really want children in the first place. She... she thought her subconscious desires were what caused it and I don’t think she ever really let go of that,” whispered a confession that made the musician’s heart stop in his chest.
    “I... I had no idea. Christ, no wonder you wanted to move her,” whispered out of him as he simply held the sobbing singer.
    “Yeah and now those bastards have found her all over again. If they find out she’s pregnant...,” Manson whispered, the fear in his voice more than justified given everything the guitarist knew.
    “She’s still not alone and she has gotten stronger. The best thing you can do is have a little faith in her and the people around her. Besides, its not as if you can’t check up on her whenever you want,” Twiggy pointed out, steering the distraught ‘Pale Emperor’ to the bed; his pink dress rustling as he took a seat.
    “Yeah... Its just... I know she can only handle so much and that’s what worries me,” whispered a broken baritone as mismatched eyes stared at the filthy carpet. Not having a good response, Jeordie could only hold his former boyfriend; his heart aching for the other man.
    Sighing as she finished the last touch-up for her album, Raven placed the heavy recording headphones so they framed her slender neck; hazel eyes moving to the men behind the glass. Getting an enthusiastic thumbs up from the trio, she gave nod before reaching for her water and taking a swig. Wiping off her forehead with a towel, she saw the off-air sign flashing over the door just before it was opening. “You did great babe! The rest of your songs are fine. We’ll begin drawing up some marketing plans. Would you be willing to go on tour again?” gushed one of her bosses, his dark eyes gleaming with excitement as he offered her a cup of coffee.
    “Would if I could but I wouldn’t be able to do a full length one. I’m pregnant,” she informed, feeling a bit warm inside when the trio flooded her with a storm of congratulations.
    “I can understand that. We can work around it though. We’ll keep the travel within a few states and the dates well spaced out. Do you think you could handle that?” the man from before persisted, the light gleaming off his brunette ponytail.
    “It sounds reasonable and I really wish I could say yes but... I... I uh, have a bad history with pregnancies,” she whispered, just mentioning it causing a bolt of pain to spear her heart.
    This revelation also made the atmosphere more than a little awkward, the three men rubbing the backs of their heads as they avoided her gaze. “Ah, okay. Um, congrats on your new album. We’ll, ah, we’ll show ourselves out,” murmured the man who had kinda brought all this to the surface, though it was through no real malice. He just hadn’t known. So, giving the trio a reassuring smile, she offered them a wave as they exited; waiting a few minutes to leave herself.
    As soon as she was in the car, she was putting her hands on her stomach and closing her eyes as she struggled with her emotions. She still didn’t really want children anymore than the first time and she was honestly afraid that she’d have another miscarriage. Whimpering as unwanted tears slid down her pale cheeks, she wiped them away with a vicious motion of her hand. Deep down, she knew the only reason why she was keeping this child was she still felt guilty about what had happened the first time. As twisted as it was, she still felt very responsible for the incident. Logically, she knew her state of mind had nothing to do with it but logic wasn’t really the one in charge at the moment.
    Right now, emotion was in charge and the most prominent one was fear. As much as she feared raising a kid, she was absolutely petrified of losing this one. Just thinking about going through all that a second time made her shudder as she turned the key in her ignition. Right now, the best thing she could do was get home and call Manson. She just wished Johnny was there but knew he’d likely be on a shoot today. He’d been getting more calls, an occurrence that could only be a good thing.
    Still, she couldn’t help but feel lonelier with him being gone. At least she wouldn’t be entirely alone. Amanda, Ginger and Jonathan would be there; their presence at least helping her stay sane. If she were entirely alone, she was certain it would only be a matter of time before her anxiety took over. Shaking her head, she switched on the radio; smiling slightly when she heard one of her favorite songs from her lover. Singing along quietly, she felt her anxiety slowly bleed away to be replaced with a feeling of optimistic determination. She was more than strong enough to get through this with the help she had. All she had to do was be willing to accept it.
    Pulling into the driveway of the humble mansion, she put the vehicle in park and turned it off; unbuckling her seatbelt before she was getting out. Forcing herself to put on a calm mask, she headed into the house and locked it behind her. She was utterly unaware of the angry pairs of eyes glaring at her from some bushes near the end of the driveway If she had been, she’s have immediately sent out Johnny and Jonathan Davis to deal with it. As it was, she was blissfully unaware of the quiet plotting that was happening in the darkness.
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Long, Hard Road Out of Hell