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I'm Not Gay	By : PunkyEmoFreak Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Tokio Hotel Views: 2061 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Tokio Hotel. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 14
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|| Bill’s POV ||

“Wh-what?” Was all I managed out when Tom said those words to me. Billa, I don’t want to leave this place… it’s too hard back home. I… I’ve fallen too… I’m in love with you. No. No way did he just say that! I’ve wanted to hear those words from him since I met him and now that I heard them, I didn’t know what to do. I love Tom, honestly I do. But I never thought he was actually going to love me back.

“You act surprised.” He said with a laugh and shook his head at me, sucking his lip into his mouth and looking at me with shining brown eyes. I wanted to grab him, to kiss him. To tell him exactly how much I love him. “Bill, you stupid, stupid faerie.” He said with another laugh and leaned over to me, wrapping a hand around the back of my neck and pulling my face close to his, “You knew I would fall for you. I hate that I have, but I did.” Anything else that needed to be said between the two of us didn’t matter anymore.

Tom pressed our lips together in a rather heated kiss, and I wanted to die. This felt right, so right. It was the way I wanted to be kissed, who I wanted to be kissed by. So perfect in the right and wrong way. Right because now I know he loves me too, wrong because we love each other. Because fact of the matter is, we are brothers, and brothers should not love like we do.

Tom pried my mouth open with ease, taking complete control of our kiss as he pushed me down onto the small couch and straddled my hips with his tiny bony ones. I hated how small and light he felt on me, but I couldn’t help but love that he was on me. My hands slid up the plan white t-shirt that covered his small body, so much small then I’m used to seeing on him. I could feel every bone in his back when my hands moved up and it made me want to cry, but Tom took away my tears by kissing me again.

Touching me just where I wanted to be touched. Hands roaming down my sides, one moving up my own skin-tight shirt as the other played the buckle of my belt. I wanted him now, and I could tell he wanted me too. But here? We couldn’t do anything here… we could be caught so easily! Then where would that leave us? I wanted to push him off, I wanted to keep him right where he was. I couldn’t make a decision.

So I let Tom make them for me. His lips pulled away from mine and moved down my neck, sucking on the skin there, where he had left a mark before that was gone completely by now. He was marking me again. He bit down on my skin, making me nearly scream in pleasure, but I remembered where we were and managed to keep quiet while Tom claimed me with bites and bruises of his love.

Things were getting heated to quickly, our hips were rocking together and I was doing anything I could not to moan to loud. But with Tom right here… that was near impossible. “Nnng… Tomi…” I whimpered out, my sharp nails dragging down his back.

I both hated and was relieved in what happened next. “Okay boys!” I heard a girl say in an overly cheerful voice, “As hot as this is, which by the way, is really hot. You probably should stop now.”

I felt my brothers’ lips fall off my skin and I whimpered some at the loss of contact. But I knew it was for the best. Whoever she was didn’t seem to distraught by the scene in front of her, anyone else might have been. Tom looked behind him and I saw him give the girl a smile, I was instantly jealous. Tom’s smile was mine! But I stared at him for a moment only to realize that the smile he gave her wasn’t my smile. But a new one all together.

If you ever look at someone enough, you realize that they have different smiles. There is my smile. The smile for Georg and Gustav. The smile to Hailey and Urie- that’s the smile of his lies. The seductive ‘I’m going to have you’ smile he uses on girls all the time. And now, this smile for the girl in front of us. I still hated her for it. “You’re such a perv, Riles. Watching two innocent boys have fun.”

She just laughed and shook her head as Tom got off of me and helped me to my feet. My hair was a mess, but it looked good that way. So I didn’t do anything to change it. “I would like to point out, Tom, that there is absolutely nothing innocent about you. And since he’s you’re twin, I doubt with him either.” She said, crossing arms over her chest. She must be who Tom has been with while he was here… I hated her even more.

Tom wrapped his arms around me and kissed a spot on the side of my neck where he left a mark as Andreas walked in as well as the girl. “Awwwe, but we are oh so innocent, Riles.” He said with a laugh of his own. “Billa,” he said softly to me now, “This is my friend Riley, Riles, I’d like you to officially meet Bill. I see you already met Andreas.”

She nodded and walked over to us, taking my hand and shaking it. “It’s good to finally meet you, Bill. Tom doesn’t give you enough credit, you’re much prettier then he can explain.” She said with a smile. Okay, so I liked her a bit more.

“Thank you, Riley. It’s nice to meet you too. Tomi,” He elbowed me in the stomach, which hurt more because he’s so damn bony! “Just told me about you. You really think you can get him out of here?”

“If he follows my plan, I can get us both out of here within three or four weeks.” She said with a wider smile. Beckoning Andreas over to us, “Andreas and I here have a plan. He has to bring Bill here every Saturday. And Tom, you will have to see Hailey and Urie sooner or later.”

“Never.” My twin hissed and I hit him in the back of his head. “I had my successful meeting with my family. Bill is my family damnit, and I won’t see them.” He was growling and I swear he looked like he was going to attack the girl in front of us.

But unlike anyone else who would have winced from this glare, Riley just stepped up to it, accepted it, and used it to her advantage, “There is only so much we can bull-shit our way threw, Tom. I’ll have to actually pass a drug test. You’ll have to see you’re adoptive parents. Both of them suck I know, but it is what has to be done.” She was calm, I don’t know how, she looked at me though, “Well, then again. If you would rather never see Bill again, be able to have him like you were. Then fine, we’ll forget this whole thing and you can stay here.”

She won. Mentioning never having me again let her win. Damn. She could play Tom’s game just as well as he could. “Fine.” He said, his grip on me tightening some. “But you have to stop using completely. Else you won’t ever pass those damn tests.” He hissed at her.

She shrugged, Andreas and I stayed silent. “Fine, then you have to stop throwing up. Because they’re not going to let you out of here weighing the same, if not less, then you did when you got here.” Another point for Riley. And maybe she could get Tom better… and he could hold me like he’s supposed too.

The two of them argued back and forth for another half hour or so, and a few things were decided just then. Tom would starting eating and keeping it down. Riley would stop doing the drugs- which to prove she would do it, handed Andreas a bottle of pills she had in her pocket. Tom would see Hailey and Urie. Riley would stop skipping her counselor sessions. Tom wouldn’t do any of this if Andreas didn’t bring me back every. Single. Saturday. Riley made Andreas agree. Riley was to live with Tom when they got out of here. No more Nana-dearest. She agreed with ease. Part of me thinks she wants to stop the pill popping.

“Bill, we should get going,” I heard Andreas say to me once everything was decided and he eyed the marks on my neck, “You’re mom-” I glared, “Okay, Shari is going to wonder where the hell those came from.” He said and I flushed. I hadn’t even thought about that. I would say that we could say Andreas gave them to me, but I didn’t want to say it in front of Tom.

Luckily I didn’t have to say a thing. Because it was Tom who spoke up next. “She can’t know I did them.” He said obviously, letting his arms from around me as he looked from Andreas to me, “I hate this, but I think the safest thing to say, if she asks, is that Andreas left them.” He frowned, he didn’t want anyone taking credit for what was his. For what he had done to claim me. “But I swear to god, Andreas, if you really do so much as lay a finger on him, I’ll make you wish you were here instead of me.”

His threat was taken probably more seriously then it should have been, with his voice so cold and cruel and the glare that didn’t do a thing to Riley made Andreas want to run for his life. Andreas just nodded, saying he wouldn’t do anything, that I was Tom’s, and only Tom’s. My brother gave me a quick hug and kiss before we all said out good-bye’s. Riley said she’d hope to see me again too, I told her to take care of my brother. She said no worries, Tom would be more then safe in her care. Somehow, I didn’t believe that. She seemed worse off then my brother. But there was nothing I could do about that.

One week. That was all I had to do was wait one week until I could see Tom again, and hopefully steal a few kisses from him. I don’t think they’ll be so kind as to let us be alone again, after all- the only reason we were allowed alone at all is because Andreas convinced them that he might be more apt to seeing someone if he could see them alone. I get my brother soon though, I’ll get to be in his arms, and he won’t be sick anymore. Tom loves me and that’s all I needed to know.

Andreas hardly said a word to me until we got to his car and I could no longer see the fading away building as we drove away. “You’re brother… he’s a little scary, Bill…” He said softly, turning down the loud music of Tom’s that blasted threw the radio.

I couldn’t help but to laugh, a small shrug from my shoulder. “He’s not scary,” I said honestly, sighing contently in my seat, happier then I had been in a long while. “He’s scared.” I told him, looking up and looking at my friend, “Andi, Tom is scared of all of this. He swore he wasn’t gay, and until today, he wouldn’t admit any feelings for me other then a brotherly bond. But he loves me; he’s never loved anyone before. Not like this. It’s all pretty new territory for him. And with him being stuck in there and me out here… he thinks you will take him away from me.”

“As much as I would love to do that,” He sighed, I knew he did too. But Andreas loved too much to ever try to hurt me. “I won’t. Not only would that hurt you, Billie, which you know I can’t do. I’d almost to be afraid of your psycho brother sending a hit man out to kill me. Or hell, maybe he’d break out of that place like that girl wants and just kill me himself- it would probably be much more satisfying.”

I couldn’t help but burst into a fit of laughter at Andreas’ words, “Tom wouldn’t…” I started between my breaths fro air, “Try to kill you…” I said, finally be able to catch myself and leaning back against the chair. “He’s not psycho, Andreas. Besides, I love him. And he loves me. No matter what he wouldn’t hurt you just because he knows how much it would hurt me.”

“He better not hurt you, Bill. Because scary or not, if he does, I’ll find a way to kill him.” I knew that tone in Andreas’ voice. He was serious as a heart attack. Okay, Andreas can’t hurt me and Tom can’t hurt me, else they would both be dead. How wonderful…

At least it leaves me the sheer pleasure of knowing that there is no one left who can hurt me. Not even the G-strings can ruin this. Not after Tom’s promises of love and kisses. Even if Tom and I have to leave everyone… I’ll be with him. I’ll make sure of it. Thinking about the G-strings though reminded of Gustav calling me this morning and I slapped my forehead. Ah, well. Maybe I’ll remember next time to tell Tom they said anything. I would rather his mind be all on me while he’s away then his loser friends anyways.

I would be happy to be the only person or thing Tom ever thought about, though I knew that was wishful thinking, as he had a lot of promises to keep and lies to keep up with if he planned on getting out of Aspen Springs anytime soon. Well… one can hope.

Out of everything that happened today, I’m only sure of one thing being completely one hundred percent true. Not that Tom will get out of there. Not that Andreas will be okay with me loving Tom over him. Not that Riley will take care of Tom since I can’t be there.

The only thing I know for sure is that Tom loves me. A promise sealed with the marks on my neck and the taste of him on my lips. With the words he whispered in my ear right before I was ushered away from him by some stupid counselor. ”I love you, Billa. Please don’t forget to come back. I need you.”

How can anyone not go back for someone so perfect, even with every little flaw he has? And Tom has a lot of them. But he wouldn’t be my Tom without every single one of them.
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