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I'll save you from yourself	By : PunkyEmoFreak Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Tokio Hotel Views: 2243 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Tokio Hotel. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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|| Tom’s POV ||

A month ago today I was woken up by wiggling faerie in my arms. I didn’t want to move, after he kissed me a few time- I couldn’t even try to sleep anymore. Three weeks ago, I kissed Bill in front of Gustav, not on purpose, the drummer happened to walk into our room looking for us because we were late free period, which Bill decided to rename solely to ‘Band Practice’. The day after that, Bill kissed me in front of Alexia after he got all jealous of her flirting with me. Bill and Alexia haven’t spoken since then, sad considering how close Bill told me they used to be. Two weeks ago, Georg caught onto us- he’s been more of a diva then Bill since then. He’s really starting to annoy me. A week ago I realized I like Bill, I really like him. Yesterday I told him. I haven’t seen him once since we woke up today since his mother was here for an all day visit. I told him if he told her anything about me, I’d kill him. The only people who know anything about us are The G’s and Alexia, and they’ve all promised not to tell anyone.

And now, I’m sitting in the group room waiting for Lacy. It was odd for her to be late. “Good news, Tom.” She said, smiling at me when she finally walked into the room and I turned my head to look at her. Good news from Lacy was never good news at all. “In a week from today, you’re going to have your own room again.” My eyes widened at her. My own room? I didn’t want my own room! I wanted to keep sharing my room with Bill. I swear to god, if she puts him with anyone else I’m going to flip out at her. “Bill’s had a lot of progress this last month and his mother agrees. So next week, Bill is going home. I stopped breathing. How could Bill leave me like that?

“Hey Tomi… not that I don’t really, really like it or anything, because I do! But… why do you only talk in front of and to me? I mean, everyone thought you just couldn’t talk or something… but I know you can.” Bill said to the dreadlocked boy only week before. If someone else was around the two of them, Tom didn’t even make a peep. But when the two boys were alone, Tom didn’t hesitate to talk to him like he had done in the beginning. He was starting to trust Bill.

So he told him that. “I don’t trust people, Bill. No matter how long I know them, I can’t trust them. Even after I’ve known Georg for over a year. I still can’t trust him. See what he did to you? He can’t be trusted. But you’re not Georg, you’re not Lacy, you’re not anyone else. You’re… Bill. The kid I couldn’t stand when he got here because he was so different from everyone else. I trust you for some reason… and it’s hard. And it scares the hell out of me. But I’ve come to terms with it by now.”

Bill smiled at him, wrapping his arms around Tom’s shoulders before crawling into his lap and resting his forehead against the other teens. “I’m glad that you trust me.” He said softly, Tell me, Tomi… why don’t you trust people? What happened?”

The dreadlocked teen turned his head away. He had been shying away from the subject for weeks. Whenever Bill asked, Tom would just say he didn’t want to talk about it and walk away from him. And now seemed to be no different. “Tom, come on… you said that you trust me. Why can’t you trust me with whatever happened to you?” He asked, his smiling fading as he looked down at the other.

“I just. I can’t talk about it, Bill, okay?” He said, his voice shaking a little, he didn’t want to talk about it. He simply couldn’t do it. But Bill wasn’t going to drop it this time, and the constant silent stare on him was evidence of that. Tom sighed and looked up at him. “Because people hurt, Bill. They leave me, and they hurt me, and I just don’t want to go through anything like that again.”

“Tell me, Tomi.”

Staring at Bill… it gave him what he needed to give in and tell him. “When I was two years old the last time my dad ever hugged me and the first time he ever hit me. I mean, it wasn’t bad for awhile. My mom protected me. But two years after that she died. I don’t know how, and I don’t want to know how. I just know that she did. My dad screamed. For three years I was object my dad anger. It was my fault she had died. When I was seven, my dad stopped hitting me and stopped blaming me. I had stopped talked and my dad… starting doing other to me.” Just by looking at Bill, Tom knew he understood what he was saying. “He died when I was eight. Drank himself to death. I may not have liked him all the time. But he was still my dad. And he left me. Just like my mom did.”

He took in a small breath before he even dared to continue, it was harder then he thought to ever admit any of this out loud. “Alexia was the first person I had ever started trusting again. But she left me too. How can you trust people when all they ever do is leave you?”

Bill leaned in and pressed his lips softly against Tom’s, hugging him tightly and putting his lips close to the dreaded boy’s ear, “I promise you, Tomi. I’m never going to leave you like everyone else did.”

He lied to me. After everything, Bill Trumper lied to me. He promised he wasn’t going to leave me. He promised I could trust him. This just proves it, no one can be trusted. Ever.

I didn’t even let him get a word in when he walked into our room and I pushed him roughly against the wall. Anger radiating off of me and glaring daggers into his eyes, “How the fuck could you do this, Bill? You promised me!”

He didn’t need me to tell him what I was talking about, I knew he wasn’t stupid. He knew what I was upset about. “Tom, I swear! I didn’t mean too… my mom only just told me.” He said, his voice shaking and eyes shining with unshed tears. He better not cry. He had nothing to cry about.

“You promised you would never leave me. What, not even two weeks later you’re going? Fuck that, Bill! I was right from that start. You are different from everyone else. You’re worse then them all.” I said, pushing him in the shoulders and turning away from him.

“Tom, I’m sorry. But I’ll come back to see you!” Bill said loudly, his voice shaking with fear. What he was scared of, I didn’t know, nor did I even care. I didn’t want his crap apologies. I didn’t want to hear his lies. “I don’t live far from here, Tomi. I can still come see you and I will, nothing could keep me from that.” Fat chance there. He wasn’t going to come back. No one ever does.

I spun on my heal to look at him once last time, “I don’t want to hear it, Bill. I don’t want to hear you say anything. I don’t care. I never will again, just go away, leave me alone. Okay? I’m done with liars. I’m done with everyone! Especially you. I… I hate you, Bill.” I hissed, glaring daggers into his skin before I turned away for the last time. “You’re a fucking asshole, Bill.”

I could feel his eyes on me, I knew he was probably tearing up. I didn’t care. I wouldn’t let myself care. Bill Trumper meant nothing to me anymore. He never should have from the start. “Tomi, please… I swear I didn’t-”

“Bill,” I shook my head as I cut him off, “Fuck you.” I hissed. It would be the last words I say to him. The last words I say to anyone. I’m done trusting people. I was right from the start, no one can ever be trusted. If they’re different, they’re only going to hurt you more. I hate him, more then I did in the beginning.

The day that Bill left, I realized quite a few things. The first being that I really don’t need anyone else. I’m just fine on my own and don’t want, nor need, anyone else in this world. The second being that it’s true that no one really pays any attention to the silent ones. The third being that with Bill gone, Georg was happier and trying to talk to me again. The forth being that getting out of this place was a lot easier then I thought it would be. The last… the last being that I missed him when he left this place.

But I wasn’t going to let myself think of that last part. He betrayed me, lied to me, broke his promise, and I didn’t need him. Did I want him here with me? Yes, yes I did. But that because Bill has mind tentacles, he slips them into your head and latches onto you like a squid would its prey. That’s all I was to Bill. His prey. I just have to find a way to burn the tentacles off of me.

I’ll figure out how to do that later, because right now, it’s not important. Bill’s not around me, and I’m not around him. In fact, I’m not around anyone. You see, I was serious when I said they pay no attention to the silent ones. I thought that it would be harder to do, but it wasn’t. I didn’t have any classes do go too or anything. I walked into the music room and took my guitar from the case- I wasn’t going to leave without it- I didn’t bother taking any of my clothes. My guitar was enough for me.

“You okay, Tom? You’re acting rather funny…”

Georg had said that to me only a few hours ago. I knew I was acting stranger then usual, but that because I was leaving today and no one knew it. I’d been planning it for a week. So… I did it. It was perfect, a flawless plan. Especially if I don’t get caught. With my guitar strapped over my shoulder, I checked to make sure Kelsey wasn’t at the front desk. She rarely left it, and it was always just for five minutes or so. She was right on time to be away, five o’clock. No one was around at all. I walked out of the building. I walked out on everyone there. This life I’ve known for the last five years. It’s scary being outside, I mean really outside.

Outside but on the grounds is one thing, but outside and free… it’s another altogether. There’s a difference about it. Even if in all actuality, I wasn’t allowed to leave, I still felt free. I felt safer out here then in there/ Out here there was no one going to try and make me talk. No one going to try and bring up painful memories. No one to do anything.

I had aimlessly walked around for over an hour before I decided where I wanted to go. I knew the place held nothing for me anymore, but I wanted to go home. I wanted to at least see it. Only problem was, I had no idea where to go. Maybe I didn’t think this all the way through. Not only did I not know exactly where home was from here… I wasn’t even sure where here was. I had been walking around without paying attention. So even if I wanted to go back somewhere I knew was… well, safe I guess, I couldn’t have. But still, I wasn’t scared.

I had myself. I had my guitar. That was all I needed. I’d find my way around… right?

Okay, so maybe I didn’t think this through as well as I thought I did. I had only thought about as far as how to get out and when. I never once thought of what I was going to afterwards.

Well, shit. I’m fucked.
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I'll save you from yourself