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Miwaku no Zakuro	By : Tcharlatan Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 2861 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction. I do not personally know any of the members of Dir en grey, X Japan, or KISAKI, and do not profit from this work.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
‘Day zero… Saturday, October 9^th… Kisaki sold me to pay off a debt.’
The sharp edge of a thumbnail rubbed steadily against the wall, unhurriedly digging a centimeter-tall scratch in the white paint just above the floor. Kyo watched his hand desolately as it moved, careful to keep his hash mark small and discrete. Tucked so subtly into the corner of his cell that he slept in, the little mark would be all-but invisible to anyone not looking for it. Kyo prayed Kaoru never found it.
‘Day one… Sunday… I woke up here… and spent the day alone.’
The nail slid over just a bit, scratching a second line into the unadulterated white.
‘Day two… Monday… I met Mas-… I met Kaoru, and He told me why I’m here. I made a mess, swore at Him, pushed Him… He was so angry…’
Dark gold eyes flittered across the wall, settling on the small hole where a bullet had passed bare centimeters from his skull. Kyo shuddered and refocused on his marks.
‘He could have killed me. Who would have stopped Him? But I apologized, and He forgave me. He let me take a shower, that night, and bandaged my wounds.’
Another slight shift of the hand, and a third line was started.
‘Day three, Tuesday. …What happened? I think… I fell asleep for a while… But when Kaoru came back, He took me to the tea room for dinner for the first time.’
Kyo had a love-hate relationship with that room. It was tranquil, strikingly beautiful, and he got to eat every time he was in there. But it was also the place where-
‘That was… the first time He fucked me. He didn’t have to prepare me… didn’t have to make sure I enjoyed it… but He did.’
Another line.
‘Day four, Wednesday…’
Kyo’s hand shook a bit at the memory, his teeth digging into his lower lip.
‘I… I went crazy. Attacked Him - screamed at Him, made Him bleed. He was angrier than I've ever seen Him, but He didn’t kill me then… even though I know He thought about it. Instead-’
Another line, this one a touch deeper than the others.
‘Day five, Thursday… Time Out.’
Two simple words, but they never failed to twist his stomach into knots, to make his heart pound and his lungs go tight in his chest.
‘Day six, Friday… Time Out until He came back from work… He let me apologize, even though He was still mad… and He forgave me.’
The blonde’s unoccupied hand smoothed absently over the thick blue silk of the hakama he’d been given for the day, gratitude tickling at the back of his mind.
‘He even started letting me wear clothes, that day.’
‘Day seven, Saturday, He let me go outside! He let me explore the gardens without the leash on… it was so beautiful… That was the first time I got lunch and dinner in the same day… but the last time I got to leave His quarters.’
A furtive glance at the clock on the wall. Only eleven in the morning; Kaoru wasn’t due back for hours yet. Still, he kept his ears straining, made nervous by even this tiny rebellion. He needed it though, needed some way to keep track of the days.
‘Day eight, Sunday… He was hungover from spending the night out with His friends. But still, He took me to the tea room for a late breakfast… I thought He was going to be angry, when I refused the pomegranate seeds.’
Scratching his neck absently – his collar itched all the time anymore, the leather edges grating on sensitive skin – Kyo cocked his head. It was a bit superstitious of him, maybe, but he couldn’t make himself open his mouth for those seeds. Not from Kaoru.
‘Day nine, Monday… He came for me after His shower, took me to the tea room for breakfast… Alone all day while He was at work. Dinner in the tea room, shower, shaving. The first day that nothing new happened…’
‘Day ten, Tuesday. Same as Monday... am I becoming complacent?’
‘So Today is… Wednesday, October 20^th? It’s only been eleven days… gods…’
It felt like so much longer. The hours that Kaoru spent at work were devastating for Kyo; they seemed to stretch on forever, with only the clock to occupy him, and he often found himself counting down the minutes until four, when his master would return to give him his dinner. But even then, he’d be back in his cell by six while Kaoru left for his own meal, taken out only once more for his shower, then he’d be alone again until breakfast. Kyo sighed, crossing his arms over his knees and resting his chin on them as he stared at his tally marks.
‘Knowing what to expect makes it easier, at least.’
‘Just… doing what He tells me to do, going where He tells me to go…’
‘Whatever keeps Him happy, so He keeps being kind to me…’
‘He… takes better care of me than He has to.’
The sounds of doors slamming open and rapid footsteps made Kyo jump a little and tense up. What was happening now? It was too early for Kaoru to be back, and those didn’t sound like his steps. Kaoru always moved at a steady pace, confident and purposeful, but unhurried. And he certainly never slammed doors.
It was a disconcerting change from the routine that Kyo took solace in.
There was some fumbling at the door to Kyo’s cell; the handle rattling, a muffled voice cursing. A frustrated growl and the sudden crash of the wooden panel being kicked made the blonde jump. More fumbling and the door came open, swinging out to reveal a somewhat flustered Die. Kyo was deeply unsettled by the man’s presence in his cell; he’d only ever seen Kaoru in his room thus far, and he felt abruptly… cornered.
“Oh good, you are in here. Come on, we’re taking a little trip downstairs,” Die called, glancing over his shoulder while waving one hand.
Kyo didn’t so much as blink, let alone oblige the taller man’s request. Really, he had no idea how he was supposed to act around the redhead; it was difficult to determine whether he’d be punished for obeying someone other than his master, or for disobeying one of his master’s close friends. He tried to sort through what he knew for some kind of hint.
Kaoru hadn’t minded when his friends had given him food before, although they’d very pointedly handed him things, rather than feeding him the way his master did. And Die was apparently welcome in Kaoru’s quarters, if the guards posted outside had let him in, and apparently knew the access codes to Kyo’s cell, even if he had trouble remembering them. Would Kaoru leave the man unrestricted access to Kyo, if he didn’t want him to have it? Somehow, Kyo didn’t think so. He was deeply under the impression that Kaoru was very deliberate in all that he did and said, just shy of being all-seeing, all-knowing.
Die beckoned again impatiently. “Come on, come on!”
‘He left me alone with them before…’
‘And… they were so nice to me…’
Chewing his lip, Kyo hesitantly stood and moved over to the redhead. Once he was in reach, Die grabbed the younger man’s hand. “Alright, let’s go!”
The taller man set a rapid pace through the halls of Kaoru’s quarters and out into the mansion proper, his long legs eating up ground with grace and purpose as Kyo scrambled to keep up. The guards stationed outside the master suite looked confused to see the blonde, but held their silence, heads bobbing respectfully in Die’s direction. Kyo tried his best to keep close behind the older man as they navigated the busy corridors of Kaoru’s home, uncomfortable under the too-curious stares of people they passed.
“Oh man, I’m so glad I found you, kid,” Die shot back at him, flashing that dazzling grin over one shoulder. “Kaoru is just blind-fucking-pissed today, and we can’t get him calmed back down. It’s not even lunchtime and he already made Totchi cry.”
Kyo paled, eyes going wide.
‘Angry…?’
‘Kaoru is angry?!’
‘Why do they need me? What did I do?!’
‘Does He know about my calendar? How can He know?!’
Just the thought of his master’s rage sent the blonde spiraling into a dizzy panic. So much for Die being nice; the man was going to throw him into the damn dragon’s lair for another punishment! Kyo shook his head frantically, digging his bare heels into the floor and trying to claw Die’s hand off of his own. He had to go back to his cell, back to his corner to hide and be safe until Kaoru wasn’t angry anymore. Die held fast, however, stopping to brace himself against the smaller man’s frantic pulling.
“Hey, whoa, what the hell? What’s wrong with you?” the redhead demanded.
Kyo bared his teeth in a terrified grimace, scrambling desperately against the hold as a whimper escaped him. “Let me go, you have to let me go! I’ve been good, He can’t be mad at me; I swear I’ve been good! Let me go, please, you have to let me go!”
“What? What are you-… Oh… Oh! Oh, no, little brother, no.” Die turned the rest of the way around, putting his free hand against Kyo’s cheek gently. “It’s okay, he’s not mad at you. You’re not in any trouble at all, I promise.”
The blonde still cringed away, body wound tight with panic, but his struggles started to slow a bit.
“What?”
‘Not in…?’
“But then why-”
“We can’t calm him down, but you can. We just thought since you’re kind of new to this that you might not know what to do, so I’m taking you down to see Toshiya. He’s going to help you cheer Kao up.”
Gradually, under Die’s coaxing voice and the hand stroking soothingly over his cheek, Kyo’s pulling slowed to a stop. He panted a little and swallowed, trying to take reassurance from the honesty on the older man’s face, praying that Die wasn’t just a phenomenal liar. Feet rooted firmly in place, neither fighting nor complying, Kyo met the redhead’s eyes with a pleading glance, searching.
“…I’m not… going to be punished?”
Die gave his sweetest heartbreaker smile and shook his head. “Not at all. We just need your help making the boss happy again. You’re the only one who can right now.”
-“You’re in a position of unique power. As his companion, you have more influence over Kaoru than anyone else, even us.”-
He’d almost forgotten about that. Kyo hadn’t believed Shinya in the least when the man had told him that he had any sort of power over Kaoru, but from what Die was saying, it seemed that they believed it. So far, simple obedience had been enough to keep his master in a relatively good mood… now apparently he was expected to take action to reverse a bad one.
‘Either way… He’s already angry.’
‘They think I can fix it?’
‘…They… they can help me fix it…?’
Kyo couldn’t handle the thought of Kaoru being angry, even if it wasn’t directed specifically at him, but it was true that he didn't really know what to do about it. Pushing down the fear rising in his throat, he nodded and moved his feet again, allowing Die to guide him once more. The redhead patted his back reassuringly once before whipping around and resuming his rapid pace down the halls, checking his watch with a soft curse. Kyo hurried after him quietly – trying to keep track of where they were going in the maze of hallways, and failing miserably – before something occurred to him.
‘Wait… did he just…?’
“Die?” he called out softly.
“Yeah?”
“Did you… why did you call me ‘brother’ just now?”
Die chucked a bit. “Well… because you are. No matter how you came to be here, you’re part of the family now, you know? We all take care of one another, for life, no matter what… and that includes you.”
Kyo stared up at him. “'For life'? But when Kaoru gets bored with me…”
Die shook his head. “Whether or not you stay on as Kao’s companion, you’re one of us now, and that can never change. If he ever decides to turn you out, we’ll still make sure you’re always taken care of – that you have a home, food, a job. We watch out for our own. Always.”
Kyo settled into a stunned silence. If what Die said was true – and the conviction in his voice made him very difficult to doubt – then even if Kaoru released him from servitude as his pet, he would always be irrevocably bound to these people. Kyo would never truly be free again. It should have been a crushing realization, and yet…
‘…family?’
He hadn’t been part of a family for over six years now. The closest thing he’d ever had to a brother had been Kisaki, and he’d always known on some level that his roommate could only commit so much to him. He’d had no assurance of support, no safety nets should he ever lose his footing in life, and to be promised that kind of devotion with so much sincerity… Too much new information, too many emotions all at once were making him so dizzy that he didn’t realize right away when they reached their destination.
“Totchi, I got him!” Die called out, tugging Kyo around to push the blonde through the narrow doorway ahead of himself. “Is Shinya-”
“Right here,” the auburn-haired man interjected, sidling into the room behind Die.
Kyo took in a lot of different things at once. First, he noticed that the room they’d come to looked an awful lot like the dressing area he and the other dancers had shared at his former job. The only difference was that everything here – from the vanity stations to the showers to the racks of costumes and fancy clothing – was infinitely higher quality than anything they’d had at the seedy little gay bar. Second, he was astounded by the sight of his training collar’s remote, clutched like a hard-won prize in one of Shinya’s long-fingered hands. The device was deposited on one of the vanity counters; apparently valuable but overall innocuous to the others, deeply unsettling for the blonde.
Third – and perhaps most startling for Kyo – was to see that Toshiya, waiting for them on a stool in front of one of the vanities, looked absolutely miserable. The blue-haired man’s usual smile had been replaced by a thoroughly dejected pout, his once-bright eyes bloodshot and ringed with streaked and smudged make up. He couldn’t help but wonder what Kaoru could have possibly done or said to cause the high-spirited man such distress.
“Alright,” Toshiya sighed, sniffling a little before standing and putting on his most resolute face. “Let’s do this thing.”
“Just tell us what you need, Toshiya,” Shinya said, a bit anxious.
“You and Die just go upstairs and keep that cranky bastard busy, I don’t care how. He cannot go back to his quarters until four o’clock, or this won’t work.” One long finger stretched out to point out Kyo. “And as for you…”
Kyo tensed a little, but raised his chin determinedly. Whatever it was he was expected to do, he could handle it. He had to. Anything was better than Kaoru’s anger.
Toshiya grinned – perhaps a bit wildly – to see the resolve in the smaller man’s eyes. “You just let me do my job, and do exactly as I tell you, and we can’t fail.”
Die clapped one hand on Kyo’s shoulder as he followed Shinya out of the room, offering him one last encouraging smile. “Good luck, little brother.”
- 14
- 15
- 16
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Miwaku no Zakuro