Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

The Road To Hell	By : Crystal_Sugar Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Marilyn Manson Views: 3438 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN MARILYN MANSON OR AM IN ANY WAY CONNECTED TO HIS FRANCHISE, NOR DO I KNOW ANY OF THEM PERSONALLY. THIS STORY IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION, AND ANY SITUATIONS OF THIS FAN FICTION ARE FICTITIOUS. THERE IS NO PROFIT FROM THIS STORY

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION, ENJOY!

ANGEL'S POV

Manson left me here for a week so him and Trent could go begin working on ideas for his new album, that will be named Antichrist Superstar. It was so soon already after just finishing a tour, but I don't question him, he knows what he's doing. Also it gives me plenty of time to think of a way to tell him he's going to be a father....If I even decide on keeping the baby.

How could I be a mother when I'm a recovering drug addict? In fact, I still think of getting high everyday. I was getting high during the beginning of my pregnancy and getting drunk almost every night....This kid wouldn't even stand a chance.

How the hell was I going to tell Manson? I couldn't even accept it myself, I know he wouldn't. He told me, himself, he didn't want kids. And neither do I.

I know what I have to do, but my heart tells me not to do it.

I had to have this abortion, and if I was going to do it, now would be the perfect time while Manson was away. I guess I could always tell him later....I'm sure he will be happy with my decision.

I looked on my phone and searched for a nearby abortion clinic, then psyched myself up to actually call. This will be better for everyone.

I hastily told the woman on the phone that I needed to schedule an appointment, and she told me they could actually see me today.

"I'm sorry", I cried, rubbing my stomach as I drove to the clinic. "I'm so sorry".

I walked into the abortion clinic feeling weak and I wanted to run the whole time. I signed in and filled out paperwork, making a quick, uninformed decision on an abortion procedure. Shortly after I turned in my paperwork to the receptionist, I was called to the back.

The nurse came in and told me to get dressed in a paper gown then lay back on the examining table and began asking me a series of questions.

"I know this isn't an easy decision", she said and patted my shoulder, turning to leave the room.

I heard her telling someone else that Marilyn Manson's girlfriend was here. Isn't that fucking great.

A couple of minutes later the doctor came in and snapped on a pair of gloves.

"How are you doing today, Angel, I'm Dr. Hart", he said, sticking his hand in my direction. I shook his hand weakly and didn't answer his question.

He continued on, reading the clipboard full of my medical information. "First we are going to give you a sonogram and see how far along you are, and see if you are a candidate for the abortion procedure you chose", he said then proceeded to squeeze a blue gel on my exposed stomach. He rolled the transducer over my lower abdomen and an image appeared on the monitor.

"Okay, you're about 12 weeks pregnant, Ms. Anderson. So you are too far along for a D&C abortion, so we are going to do a D&E abortion. The fetus's soft cartilage hasn't hardened to bone yet, so we can still do the abortion today, but we need to begin dialing your cervix right away", he told me.

I was in shock, I had been pregnant just about the entire time of being on tour with Manson.

It survived the drugs, smoking, alcohol, Manson's beatings, and me falling down when I was drunk, this baby was a goddamn fighter....But after all it was Manson's kid....And now here I am, ending it all.

The doctor told me it was normal to not have any symptoms, and that millions of women go through an entire pregnancy without gaining little to no weight as he continued the sonogram.

I looked at the screen and saw mine and Manson's little baby. It wasn't fully developed, but you could see the head and arms and underdeveloped feet wiggling and moving around. You could also see a flicker in it's chest....it's heartbeat.

Tears streamed down my face as I slowly dragged a finger across the monitor.

"Ma'am are you okay? Are you sure this is what you want to do? You can give yourself all the time you need before you make this decision", Dr. Hart asked in a soothing tone.

"I'm sure this is what I want to do", I replied.

He wrote something on his clipboard then stepped out of the room, leaving the door cracked slightly, as nurses entered and exited the room setting up all the equipment. I cringed looking at some of the instruments.

I was hooked to an IV and the nurse laid me back and put my feet in the metal stirrups that were attached to the bottom of the table. First the nurse injected antibiotics in my IV, then I was given a numbing shot and had 3 laminaria sticks inserted in my cervix.

I begin feeling intense cramping as nurses kept coming back and forth over the course of a couple of hours, until finally they said I was dilated enough to perform the procedure.

Everything was going so quickly, like a blur, before I knew it I was put under and when I woke up they told me the procedure went smoothly and everything was okay. They told me not to have sex for two weeks so my cervix could fully heal and recover. They gave me an appointment set three weeks from now and they discharged me.

When I got home I hid my paperwork and then went and curled up in a ball in bed. I felt so alone and depressed and was guilt ridden.

Old habits must die hard because I found myself kneeling beside the bed and pressing my hands together in prayer position. "Please God, please show me a way. Please forgive me and wash away my sins. Lord, lift this burden off my shoulders for shedding innocent blood....Please God!", I begged.

Of course, I didn't feel any better, and the burden didn't suddenly disappear. "Goddamn you, fuck you!", I screamed and quickly headed for the kitchen, slinging the liquor cabinet door open and pulling out whatever contents I could get my hands on. I drank and drank until I felt slightly numbed, but nothing in these bottles could numb the intense guilt and pain I felt within my soul....I needed something else. Something to get me out of my head, the only thing that I could think of to erase all humanity and emotion in me....I needed drugs. I craved the familiar burning in my nose until it bled, once again.

But how? Manson deleted all my drug dealers numbers and I don't think I could get it off a random street corner in this neighborhood, so there was only one person I could think of....Pogo.

I dialed his number with shaky hands and the phone rang forever. Finally I heard his voice echo through the other end.

"Hello?" He answered annoyed.

"Hey, Pogo, it's Angel", I responded.

"Oh, hey", he answered, seeming to brighten up. "You haven't talked to me since we got to California", he said, laughing lightly. I haven't, I didn't want to tempt myself being around drugs, and I didn't trust myself with him anymore after that last night on the tour bus. I'm attracted to him, but there's nothing wrong with that, right? It's not like I can't control myself or that anything would happen.

I laughed awkwardly. "Well I kind of wanted to hang out now, can you come over?", I asked.

"Yeah, I'm not doing shit, I'll come over now", he said.

Before he ended the call, I gulped and spoke lowly, "I'm kind of going through something right now....", I spoke, but was cut off.

"Is everything okay?", he asked concerned.

"Yeah, I guess, it's out of my control, but I was going to ask you to bring something to fuck me up", I asked nervously.

"Of course, I will be there as soon as possible", he said, then hung up.

I sat on the couch clawing at my legs until he arrived.

I greeted him at the door throwing my arms around him in a hug, squeezing tightly.

"I missed my partner in crime", he laughed, hugging back just as tight and burying his face in my neck.

He didn't waste any time pulling out the cocaine and cutting it on the coffee table.

He snorted two lines then handed me his rolled dollar bill to do the same.

"Oh my god", I groaned, rubbing my nose.

"Is it good?", he asked, smiling.

"Fuck yes", I giggled, leaning back and rubbing my nose.

"So, you couldn't stay clean?", he asked smirking slightly, causing my smile to falter.

He quickly realized it and spoke again, "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you....Do you want to talk about what happened?", he asked.

I shook my head. "I just want to forget", I said.

"Well, if you really want to get out of your head, I have something that can take you to wonderland", Pogo said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a paper that sort of looked like a stamp.

"What is this?", I asked, inspecting it closely.

"LSD", he responded. "I think you'll like this....Anyways, I always wanted to 'go on a trip' with you", Pogo added.

I shrugged. What did I have to lose?

"I'm going to walk you through this a bit so you will have a good experience....First, hold out your tongue", he instructed, to which I quickly obliged, feeling a bit silly.

"Let it dissolve on your tongue, suck it slowly, don't just swallow it", he told me as I pulled my tongue back in my mouth. It was bitter and slightly fizzy.

"Acid is self reflective, so stay positive, don't think any self destructive thoughts. If you think you will have a good trip, then you will have a good trip....If you think you'll have a bad trip or think negatively, then you will have a bad trip", he told me, while slipping a piece of the paper in his mouth as well.

"Lastly, don't over-think or try to process what's going on, just go with it....You will have a nice trip on acid alone, but acid on top of cocaine, you're going to be fucking tripping balls. Just enjoy yourself", he said, laying in the floor, and me joining him.

As he was speaking, my high began to kick in and I could fucking SEE his voice coming from his mouth.

When I laid next to him on the floor, he snuggled into my side and began caressing me.

"Holy fucking shit, your skin feels like velvet", he giggled, letting his hands explore over my body.

I watched the room as more and more colors begin to splash through the room mixed with bolts of electricity.

I sat up and looked around the living room, the walls and ceiling begin to melt like wax, then rebuild itself, only to melt again.

I completely forgot that Pogo was even in the house with me, and I pulled myself up and began exploring everything.

After awhile, Pogo came up behind me and ran his fingers through my hair.

"Your hair is like flames....But they don't burn me. Hehehe", he giggled, pulling me close to him.

"Flip your hair", he instructed.

I did as he said and watched him as he was in awe. Personally, I was coming off of my trip, everything now just sparkling and there were still some colors flowing around me. But then again he took more than me. So I watched him until he came off his trip as well, it was hysterical.

"I knew it would be amazing doing LSD with you....Did you like it and did it help with your little problem?", Pogo asked.

"Yeah, I was numb for awhile. Thank you. Just please don't mention this to Manson. He would flip shit if he found out", I replied.

"You know I won't say shit", he laughed and pulled out more cocaine, making us both a line.

"I probably shouldn't do anymore right now, I haven't done anything in so long, my tolerance is down", I told him. He gladly snorted mine for me.

"Fuck, it's after midnight already", I said, we must have been tripping for hours.

"Oh, well I should get going now", Pogo said, stretching and standing up. He gave me a bag of cocaine and told me to hide it for myself, so when Manson was gone I could get high.

I walked him to the door, and he turned around suddenly.

"I don't really want to go....it's late and I don't feel like driving while I'm this high", he began to explain.

"You can stay the night if you want", I suggested. "It does get lonely here when Manson is gone", I added.

He smiled and closed the door.

"Well goodnight, you know your way around, you can eat, watch TV, go to bed, whatever you want, make yourself at home", I said, then made my way to the bedroom.

When I laid in bed, I let my mind wander back to the abortion and began to cry. At least Pogo and the drugs helped me forget for awhile.

About half an hour went by and my eyes were swollen and my pillow covered in tears when I heard the door creak open.

"Uh, hey are you awake? I can't fucking sleep. Hehe", Pogo called through the door. I didn't answer in hopes that he would go away, but instead he just waltzed in the room anyways and began to shake me.

I turned to face him and his smile fell from his face. "Why are you crying?", he asked, sitting in the bed next to me and rubbing my back gently.

"I don't want to talk about it", I said softly.

"Okay, you don't have to, but I want you to know I'm here for you and you can talk to me when you're ready", Pogo said, then gently laid next to me and kept rubbing my back.

His phone rang loudly through the bedroom, "shit", he murmured and pulled the phone from his pocket.

I casually glanced at his screen as he tucked the phone away and saw it was Sarah calling him.

"Aren't you going to answer your phone?", I asked as he began rubbing my back again and moving in closer to me.

"No. It was no one important", he replied.

Wow. What the hell is going on between them?

But I allowed him to cuddle me, and enjoyed it. After awhile I felt so comfortable that I held him back.

And though he didn't try anything, it felt wrong somehow.

"We shouldn't be doing this", I finally spoke and began to pull away.

Pogo looked at me dumbfounded. "Doing what?", he asked.

"This....Us laying together, you touching me all the time, me touching you....", I said, feeling awkward from explaining the obvious.

"Why? Would you think twice about hugging Twiggy? Or cuddling with him? Tickling him? You used to do it all the time. Why is it any different with me? Is it because you feel there's a connection between us or you feel something more than what you feel with Twiggy?", he asked.

He was right. I used to do this and more with Twiggy and not think twice about it, because it was innocent and I wasn't attracted to him.

"Could it be that I make you feel certain things you thought you only felt for Manson?", Pogo asked, getting progressively closer to my face until we were mere inches apart.

My face heated up. It was true. I was so fucking attracted to Pogo. And our personalities just meshed together so well. My heart was thumping in my chest right now, the same as it would if this were Manson....And I felt guilty. I love MANSON, and this is one of his best friends and band mates and my best friend's boyfriend. I HAVE to have self control.

"No", I lied. "But Manson and Sarah wouldn't like this", I added.

Pogo looked at me so intensely I thought my heart would explode. But finally, he pulled away.

"I guess they wouldn't", he said, and kissed my forehead.

"I'm going to go home, Angel. I will see you....soon", he said, pulling on his leather coat.

Maybe that would be the best idea.

Then he left. And once again, it was just me left alone with my thoughts and guilt, the only solution to take the pain away was getting fucked up again.
- 14
- 15
- 16
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Road To Hell