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Dead Like Me	By : poe Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 4827 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
WOOH! things are getting intense now! i hope you guys are enjoying where the story is heading so far! if there's anything that MUST happen, please feel free to let me know! and as always, feedback and reviews are appreciated and most welcome! enjoy!
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DISCLAIMER: Not mine, but I pretend well.
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Mikey told me about the conversation he had with Gerard a couple days ago. I have to admit that I was worried about him finding out about....you know....how he was my first. But so far he hasn't said anything about it, even though I can feel the tension in the air. It's thick, like that glue they give you in first grade to make pictures out of macaroni. And I know that underneath that cool, calm, collected front that he puts on so well, he must be a seething mass of either anger or confusion. Well, at least I secretly hope he is. Let's face it, Gerard isn't exactly "Mr. Emotion", is he? But he has to feel something. Right?
I guess I can take a hint. I should have known that it was a bad idea from the start. Actually, I did know. But when it came right down to it, I knew that there was no way in hell that I would pass up the chance to be with Gerard. Even if it was only for one night. It was supposed to be only for one night.
I'm a hopeless romantic. Kind of like that Bouncing Souls song. You know, "I'm a hopeless romantic, you're just hopeless"? I feel like that. Look, I know it's wrong, and I'm not going to pretend that I feel right about this, but you know how much I love Mikey. And I would never intentionally do anything to hurt him. But this isn't about him. This is about me, and the last seven years of my life.
Plus, I have no intention of telling him.
If I do, then he's right. Whenever we fight he brings it up. He always tells me that he knows that I'm still in love with Gerard, and that if I love him so much, why don't I just go marry him? He hurts me with it, says that I picked him because I couldn't have Gerard, that he was just a consolation prize. Well. I guess in some ways he was. Not in a bad way though. But I don't say that. I tell him that I picked him because I wanted to. I did. Otherwise I would have just pined after Gerard all by my lonesome, like I did for so long before.
I had no intention of making this an on-going thing. After the first time Gerard and I were together, I knew he had to leave. He couldn't be in my room with me when Mikey got home. Fuck, it's not like he was going to cuddle with me or something. He left before I even had a chance to throw him out.
After that, things were awkward at best. I tried not to be alone with him in the same room, which was awfully hard when we both worked days, and Mikey left us alone at night. Which, like I've mentioned before, makes it so easy to do things that you don't want your boyfriend to know about.
I was in the middle of throwing a load of laundry in the washing machine, when Gerard wandered into the laundry room. Casual. Right.
"Hey Frankie. What are you doing?" Like he didn't see that I was doing laundry.
"Well, Gerard, I'm in the laundry room.....kinda obvious really, if you think about it...."
He nodded, and moved closer to me. Like we were friends. Like he was just wanting to talk. Like he just wanted to be around me. But I knew Gerard. And we were friends. Best friends, even. But I knew when he was hanging around for company. And I knew when he had other intentions.
"Look, Gerard, " I started as he leaned against the dryer. "We need to talk about.....what happened...." It was wrong and it was stupid, and it was a one time only thing.
"You're so cute when you take charge, Frankie, " he whispered, and shockingly his lips closed in on mine. I wanted to push away, and I tried, but he was always bigger and stronger than I was, and my feeble attempts to avert his lips were in vain.
He finally pulled away from me, slowly, soaking up every single second of the look of horror on my face.
I couldn't look him in the eye. They always did me in, with their not-quite green, not-quite brown-ness. I looked at the floor, and I'm sure my words were nothing more than a mumble.
"Gerard, I can't do this again."
"What, Frankie? You're mumbling." I could hear the smirk in his voice. The way he was challenging me to say no to him. He knew that he would win. He always did, when it came to sex. But I was about to break his track record. At least that's what my intentions were.
I lifted my head up to face him, and stood tall, my back straight, my fists at my sides. "Gerard. I. Can't. Do. This. Again." I made sure my words were very clear. I didn't want him to say that I never said no.
He saw the defiance in my eyes, and I knew that he must be thinking that I was joking or something. He never got turned down. Never. Especially not by the one guy who had always wanted him more than anything else.
And it's not that I wanted him any less. Fuck, my body was betraying me by the second when I saw the absolutely predatory look in his eye. If I didn't stop him, he would fuck me against the appliance he was leaning on. Okay, that is not helping at all...
He started laughing. Not a real laugh, but a sort of half-amused, you've-got-to-be-joking-me kind of chuckle. It might as well have been a warning bell to me. It had the same effect. I immediately froze.
"Frankie, Frankie, Frankie..." He shook his head back and forth, scolding me like I was a little child. "What do you mean you can't do this?" His hand moved up to trail along my jaw, and then down across my chest, and I involuntarily shuddered at his touch. I could feel the sensation all the way down to my guts, and it was doing horrible things in my pants.
"I-I can't..." I trailed off as his mouth attacked my neck, dragging his teeth down to my collarbone, languishing rough, sucking kisses on my flesh. His hands moved to my nipples, teasing them, pulling them until they were hardened and aching.
"You didn't have any trouble last time....." he mumbled as he licked at my clavicle. Yeah, right. If he only knew how much trouble it caused me. The fact that he was my first, not my boyfriend, killed me everyday. It could only be worse now that Gerard knew it. It must have given him the biggest ego trip ever.
"Gerard," I breathed weakly as his hand moved lower, "it's not right....I...I-I love Mikey....I don't want to hurt him." I managed to stuttered out.
His hands stopped moving, at the waistband of my jeans, and he looked me in the eye. "Are you saying that you don't want me to keep doing this?" He started rubbing his hand slowly down my length, and I couldn't help the betraying moan that escaped my lips.
"Y-yes...I-I-I....Y-you have t-to st-to...oooohhh...." He wrapped his hand around me tightly, making a fist. I could feel the pressure, squeezing me, torturing me. It felt so good. I was finding it hard to form coherent sentences, as my blood had long ago left my brain and travelled south. And I was finding it hard to remember why I had to stop this. Wasn't this what I wanted?
Yes. I knew I wanted it. God, he knew it too. The way his hands were working me, his breaths short and heavy in my ear, I knew that he was playing me the hottest way he knew how. It was working. Fuck, it was working like magic. Better than magic. I was his fucking puppet.
"Come on, Frankie. I know you want this...Just let me fuck you..." He unzipped my jeans, and his hand roamed inside. I wasn't wearing any boxers, because I had been in the middle of doing laundry.
"Oh, I never knew you were so....casual..." He joked as he found my boxerless flesh. Fuck, it felt so good. I had no idea how I was going to stop him.
After Gerard and I....had sex....well, it was what I had always wanted. Ever since I knew him. But I didn't want the whole Mikey aspect of it. I never wanted to hurt Mikey, and as much as I wanted this, it wasn't worth the pain. He was bound to find out eventually. They always did. I knew he would. He was smart. And sweet. And wonderful. And he deserved so much better than this.
I grabbed Gerard by the wrist, and pulled his hand off of me. He was still kissing my neck, so I forcibly pushed his entire body away from mine.
The look in his eyes was dangerous. I hoped that the look in mine was equally so.
"Gerard, we can't do this. I can't do this. It's not right."
He scoffed and moved close to me again, pressing against me, pushing my back against the washing machine. His hips ground into mine, and I could feel that he was hard too. Just like me.
"Like it matters whether or not it's right. It's what you want. I am willing to give you what you want, right now. Are you going to say no to that?" I could feel his breath on my face. I could feel the hardness of him through my jeans. I could envision myself bent over the washing maching, with him wrapped around me, fucking my brains out. God, I could feel him. "Can you say no to me, Frankie?" he whispered in my ear. I looked at him. He looked like he had already won. That settled it. He was NOT winning this.
"Yes. Yes I can. Gerard, I love Mikey. I can't do this, not because I don't want to, but because I love Mikey, and he deserves better than a boyfriend who cheats on him with his brother." In my eyes was as hard a look as I'm sure he'd ever seen from me. He realized that I was serious, I could see the change on his face.
"Fine, Frankie." He replied coldly, with an air of phony nonchalance. He narrowed his eyes, and brought his face this close to mine. "But if you think that I will ever give you this opportunity again, believe me, I won't."He turned to leave the room, stopping just before he went through the door.
"One day, Frankie." A smirk pulled on the corners of his lips. He looked like the devil. An evil, scheming, demonic, beautiful devil.

"You can pretend that you don't want me to, but we both know that you can't say no to me. One day you'll want me again, I promise you. You'll beg me for it, you'll beg me to fuck you. Then you'll see that I was right. And then we'll see what you will do to get me to fuck you again."
He walked out of the room after that. I held my breath until I couldn't hear his footsteps anymore, and then I finally exhaled. I felt dizzy, and hot, and nauseous. My mouth was dry, I couldn't swallow, and I felt like I was going to combust in my pants. But I'd won. I'd said no to Gerard, for the first time in my life.
But in the back of my mind there was this little voice. That little voice that tells you the things that you don't necessarily want to hear, but deep down you know it's right. It was saying that Gerard was right. It was only a matter of time before I couldn't take it anymore. It was only a matter of time before I would give in to him. I didn't want it to be true. It couldn't be true.
I heard the front door open, and Mikey saved me from my bad thoughts. Thank God he came home early tonight. "Frank, baby, you home?"
"I'm in the laundry room, Mikey!" I called back. I looked up when I saw him come in the room, and ran over to give him a big hug and a kiss. A good kiss too.
"Whoa! What did I do to deserve that?!" He smiled as he pushed away some hair from my face.
"Nothing, I just miss you, that's all." I smiled back at him in his arms. He scrunched his eyes, scrutinizing my face for a second, before putting a hand to my forehead.
"Are you okay, babe? You look a little flushed..." he trailed off, concern etched in his eyes.
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. It's just really hot in here. Want to get something to eat?" I said immediately changing the subject.
"Yeah, sure."
- 15
- 16
- 17
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Dead Like Me