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The Moon and the Sun	By : soleil Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Malice Mizer Views: 3125 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Malice Mizer. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Chapter 15

Gackt was utterly surprised by the way Mana had been while they were visiting the sick girl. He had never thought that the dark-haired untouchable creature could ever be so warm and gentle to another human being. He had watched in awe as Mana's eyes glittered with joy when he gave Hikari the gift he had brought and introduced her to Gackt. The girl was speechless at seeing the famous pop-star visiting her and she thanked Mana at least a dozen times for bringing him to her house. At that moment he wouldn't have been surprised if he'd saw Mana start dancing out of joy for surprising the girl successfully and making her happy. If Gackt would be honest he'd admit that he never would have thought that Mana could care for another person's happiness.

That exactly used to be the problem back in Malice Mizer. Mana always used to be so cold and pushy while working with him, putting the band and his vision about it above anything and anyone. Gackt was so depressed at that time, their success too confusing for his already complex inner-world that he couldn't handle Mana's pressure and coldness on top. He would have given anything at that time to see that Mana really cared about him, to feel some support, but nothing ever came from the other man. He just grew colder with every passing day until Gackt couldn't stand it anymore and left in one last and desperate attempt to make the other man react. But Mana didn't even try to hold him back and then his world came crushing down. He had to realise that he was on his own and that the guitarist thought about him as of someone who could be easily replaced. After all he had been just a pretty vocalist to him..

But Közi had said that Mana was devastated when he left. He had said that he was mourning in his sleep about him. He had said that Mana loved him.. and Gackt would give anything to have known that back then.

He was determined to finally sort things out between them.

He parked his car and glanced at the silent man sitting next to him.

"Ready for our walk?" he asked him smiling lightly.

"I'm still not so sure about this, Gackt-san." Mana murmured looking at the dark clouds above them. The rain hadn't stop falling, on the contrary it was getting heavier as the day proceeded.

Gackt reached to the back-seat to motion to the other passenger of the car -his dog Belle, to come to the front seats before opening the door and let it jump out displaying its joy at going for a walk with them, not minding the rainy weather at all.

"Come on. You'll see it will be fun!" with that Gackt exited the car and went to Mana's side to open his door and wait for the other man to step out. Belle was still jumping happily around his feet as he waited for his companion to move.

"You are crazy." Mana said grumpily as he finally stood in the rain, pulling his blue raincoat more firmly around his slim form. He looked so cute like this that Gackt couldn't resist to pull him in for a short kiss on the lips while he closed the door to his car. Then he took his hand and entwined their fingers while they walked through the entrance of the park.

When they had walked a little Gackt simply had to ask: "Isn't this a lot nicer than you would have thought?"

"Sure, Gackt-san." Mana murmured "I would have imagined it pretty boring with sunshine and a relaxing breeze, but it's not at all like that. We are walking ankle-deep in mud while the pouring rain keeps bouncing off on our stylish smurf raincoats and I am not bored at all because I have to worry all the time that we won't get struck by lightening.." Gackt laughed and with a glimmer in his eyes he said: "Then let's go find a shelter."

"Why don't we just go back to the car?" Mana almost whined while Gackt pulled him behind like a child resisting to go to school. "Because." Gackt answered to feel Mana's hand squeeze his own not so gently in annoyance. He only hoped that Mana wasn't annoyed enough to introduce his hand to his fingernails before they arrived at their destination.

After a while they got to the famous greenhouse of the park and Mana almost started to run in that direction when he spotted it causing Gackt to snicker again. Mana could be so cute sometimes..

"Oh .." he heard his companion sigh as they neared the entrance. A huge sign that read 'Closed for public' was the cause of Mana's disappointment but Gackt just ignored the sign and went to the glass-doors to ring a bell.

"What the hell are you doing? Imagine the tabloids tomorrow morning: Mana and Gackt holding hands and seeking shelter at the greenhouse of Shinjuku Gyoen. That will give the press lots to speculate about.." Mana hissed while trying unsuccessfully to disentangle his fingers from Gackt's as he saw someone behind the glass coming to the entrance and unlocking the doors.

"Gackt-san, we've been expecting you. Everything is set." The shadowy figure spoke upon opening the doors and letting them in.
---
Mana was fairly surprised when he was starting to realise that Gackt had probably planned for this long before. As soon as he was in the greenhouse he disentangled his hand forcefully from Gackt's and started loosing the raincoat that had been insulting his pride the whole morning through.

Looking around he had to admit that he was at least mildly intrigued by his surroundings. The huge greenhouse had many different rooms and an enormous variety of exotic trees and flowers that could be seen even from the entrance where they stood. He saw Gackt dismissing the other man while shedding his own coat. "Come on." he whispered holding out his hand again to Mana and he simply couldn't do anything else than take it and let himself be dragged further into the artificial garden. A sign informed him that they had entered the tropical water lilies room and he was surprised when his eyes caught a grey picnic blanket spread out on the ground near the pond with the impressive huge water lilies. It was fairly dark in the room as no lights were on and the cloudy sky didn't provide much light from outside the glass, but next to the blanket he could distinguish a big picnic-basket to which Belle had already made her way to and was currently sniffing at with curiosity.

'I promised you a picnic.." Gackt said as he pulled Mana to the spot where the rather large and soft-looking blanket was. Mana just followed his lead when he sat down on the blanket not really knowing what to say. He watched Gackt take a few candles out of the basket and lit them before letting them flow in the pond. The next thing he saw appearing out of the basket was a bottle of red wine which the vocalist opened and used to fill the two glasses that appeared soon after. Handing one glass to Mana he said: "What do you say now?"

Mana took his glass and thought about how to answer Gackt's question before he spoke. "I am surprised, but there was no need to go through the trouble to arrange this." The small flicker of disappointment that crossed for a second Gackt's features caused Mana to feel almost bad about his words. Almost. Because he still saw in Gackt a sadist who took sick joy in hurting him, so he couldn't let himself feel bad when he did the same to the other man -even if he didn't do it on purpose.

Although he really was a sucker for surprises and presents (-he just couldn't help it) he couldn't understand Gackt's behaviour. If he was trying to get him into his bed, or on his blanket for that matter, then why in the world had he pushed him away earlier that day when he had advanced on him? It was always the same with the vocalist: the minute Mana thought that he had figured the other man out he went and did the exact opposite of what Mana would have expected him to do. His patience was starting to wear thin. He just couldn't read him. He wouldn't be surprised if Gackt just advanced on him to make him respond and then reject him on the way.

"You don't understand me." he heard Gackt say almost to himself and was surprised that they were thinking along the same lines.

"No, I don't." Mana answered coldly and unconsciously crossed his arms in front of him distancing himself further from the other man. It wasn't something that he did on purpose. He couldn't help it that his hostile body-language displayed his need to protect himself from the other man. He couldn't let him hurt him again. He would never forgive himself if he let it go this far.

The momentarily flash of pain on Gackt's face disappeared and was replaced by a mischievous grin. Through glittering eyes he glanced at Mana and whispered: "In time you will." Then he clapped his hands together and Mana realised that a soft tune started coming from some hidden speakers in the greenhouse. He immediately recognised it as 'Regret', one of the songs Gackt had written for Malice Mizer and felt a lump forming in his throat.

He remembered the first time Gackt had played this song to him and how surprised he had been that the vocalist had composed something as beautiful as that. It wasn't that he thought of him as a bad composer, but their styles were always so different from one another that he would never have expected him to compose something that would touch him so deeply. He remembered falling even more in love with him that day.

In love..

Mana snorted at his own thoughts, but the pressure he felt on his chest didn't subside..

"You know Mana, their used to be a time when you asked me all the time to play it for you." Gackt murmured obviously insulted having taken Mana's reaction as a disapproval of the song.

"Hai, I loved it." Mana whispered sadly before he could stop himself. "It is really a nice song." he added trying to seem more composed than he felt and sipped his wine, facing away from the other man. He felt Gackt move to sit partially behind him and when his arms came up to embrace him in a manner as so familiar as the song Mana finally felt his eyes slowly tear up.

Once again he found himself not as strong as he thought he was. He wished with all his heart that the music would stop playing and that Gackt wouldn't hold him that way, both raised more memories than he could possibly handle; not only flashbacks from the times with Mizer but also from the countless nights he had listened to that song alone at his home letting his pain overcome him. The nights when he couldn't keep the longing for that embrace locked away deep in his heart. The nights when Gackt's betrayal hurt the most.

It was as if he suddenly came to his senses and he found it impossible to keep on sitting there next to the man that had meant the world to him and had caused him so much pain. His plan from earlier that day to start a casual affair with him seemed unbelievably ridiculous now. Who had he been trying to fool? He still felt too much for him to be able to do something like that. He would just get destroyed again. What had he been thinking..

Mana was aching suddenly so much that he thought that he couldn't breathe; he felt that if he didn't get away from him as soon as possible, that he would die of suffocation.

"I have to go. I.. forgot something." he stuttered and hastily stood up. In his panic he was outside in the rain before he had time to think about where he would go, but he didn't care. He just had to get away from that man.

A/N: I liked this chapter very much, but I would really like to know what you think about it ..so, review please??
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The Moon and the Sun