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Until You Lose Your Breath	By : theProphet Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 1741 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction. Don't know Dir en grey and don't make any money from this.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
Thoughts, past events and sign language are put in ~~
CHAPTER 16
Eight Months Later

Kyo decided to have a break and make some coffee. He was already tired at sitting in front of a computer for hours. But at least his work progressed nicely.
~Maybe I should call Totchi and ask him to come over today? Or maybe even Shinya and Daisuke could join us? I really need company…~
It was more than two months that he hasn’t seen his friends. Everyone had to work a lot. Especially now when the holidays were coming.
Kyo sat down and sighted. He was glad that his band mates haven’t forgotten him. Shinya once even surprised him greatly. It was four months ago. He came alone and suddenly started talking in sign language. Kyo was so stunned. Shinya then laughed and explained that he started learning a long time ago but wanted to be fluent before finally speaking to Kyo. Shinya said that he didn’t like not to be able to speak with Kyo normally. So he started learning.
Kyo really appreciated that. He was deeply touched. But who wouldn’t?
Die came almost always with Shinya. Like Shinya once joked, he can’t get rid of the read-headed ex-guitarist now. Die liked to come over to Kyo and they always had nice time together.
Toshiya also came. Sometimes with Die and Shinya. They would play video games or drink much to Shinya’s dismay because, as he once blurted out, a drunk Die is a very horny Die too.
They would always ask Kyo to come to them or go out, but Kyo didn’t want to go father than the local supermarket. He envied all the people because they could talk and most he hated seeing happy couples making out on the park benches. That’s why he almost never went out.
Kaoru also came. Once. Three months ago. Kyo still remembered every detail of his visit.
~ ~ ~
When Kyo opened the door and saw Kaoru standing there he thought he was dreaming. Then he eyed him from head to toe. Kaoru was almost the same except that he had tattoo all over his left arm. He still had that cute hooked nose but no longer purple hair. They were of natural black now and barely reaching shoulders.
-Can I come in? –Kaoru asked.
Kyo stepped aside and let him in.
-I brought vine, -he said showing Kyo the bottle.
They went to the living room and sat. Kaoru looked around and was surprised to see that nothing has changed. The room looked exactly like when they still were together. Then he turned and met Kyo’s gaze on him. Kyo had even more tattoos than before and more earrings. But his hair was black because he now didn’t need to dye it for the image. He also looked even thinner and smaller but Kaoru assumed it was because he hasn’t seen him for so long.
-I… -Kaoru started. –You know… I hope you don’t feel hatred towards me any more and we can sit friendly and have a drink. We used to get along so well…
Kyo didn’t even move. There wasn’t a notebook anywhere but Kyo didn’t even bother to go and find one.
-I wanted to apologize you for my behavior, Kyo. I used to scream my guts out on you so often. But you know… It was hard for me as well… our split up, I mean… I hope…
Kyo stood up and went out. He came back soon after with a notebook and wrote something on it.
~I yelled at you much as well. Let’s better open the vine.~
Kaoru smiled at him and did as he was asked. After an hour they already felt quite drunk. Kaoru talked a lot about his new work and how he hated everyone there and Kyo listened. Soon another bottle took place, then another… It didn’t take long until they both were heavily drunk. Kaoru already had hard time in speaking coherently.
Kaoru didn’t need to ask Kyo if he was ok. He saw that Kyo was more or less ok. But what he didn’t like to see was affection towards him in Kyo’s eyes. It seemed to Kaory that Kyo still loved him. He still did. And Kaoru felt guilty. Sometimes he thought what would be now if he waited a bit longer and gave Kyo another chance… But it was too late for the regrets now.
Kaoru also saw that Kyo knew that his feelings were like an open book to Kaoru. But Kyo didn’t care. He knew that Kaoru could guess his moods and thoughts even from Kyo’s facial expression.
Time went by and Kyo was enjoying Kaoru’s presence more and more. When Kaoru suddenly appeared very close to him he wasn’t surprised. When he felt Kaoru’s lips on his, he couldn’t help but eagerly respond to the kiss. Kyo inhaled Kaoru’s scent and shivered. It felt so good to be so close to him again. It felt right to put his arms around Kaoru and let himself being led to the bedroom.
Kaoru laid Kyo on the bed and started undressing him quickly. Kyo helped him and took off his pants. When Kyo was nude, Kaoru quickly undressed himself. They panted heavily and both already had hard erections. Kaoru kissed Kyo everywhere and Kyo in response stroked Kaoru’s back and arms admiring the tattoo. The gentle caressing didn’t last long because the need between their legs demanded attention. Kaoru spread Kyo’s legs and sat in between. He wetted his fingers with saliva and inserted all three at once. Kyo didn’t make a sound but his body jerked from pain immediately.
After stretching Kyo a little, Kaoru pulled the fingers out and put Kyo’s legs on his shoulders. He had a good access now and without another thought slammed himself into Kyo. Kyo felt a stone-hard dick being thrust into him and he bent his back, his hands gripped the sheets.
Kaoru moaned loudly and started thrusting violently into Kyo. Kyo couldn’t take all of this pleasure and pain any more. He squirmed under Kaoru and opened his mouth for silent moans of pleasure. The pain was there, but he liked it as well as the pleasure. He thought he’ll explode from unbearable waves of physical and emotional feelings inside him.
Kyo didn’t last long. After some rough Kaoru’s thrusts he released himself all over Kaoru’s belly. Kaoru followed not long after. He fell on Kyo and they lay there like that panting. Kaoru didn’t even bother to draw himself out. They didn’t even notice how, lying like that, they fell asleep.
In the morning Kyo woke up with a terrible hangover. But it wasn’t what worried him most. On his mind was only Kaoru.
But Kaoru was already gone. No note, nothing. Kyo didn’t even think things would be other way. He wasn’t surprised at all. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. The physical pain he would handle, but the other pain was also there.
Kyo didn’t even get up from the bed that day. He stayed there trying to smell Kaoru’s perfume and sweat in the sheets. He tried to remember as much details of that night as possible. He knew that now he’ll have to start everything anew. He knew that he’ll now have to try again to forget Kaoru and stop dreaming of him everyday.
Some part of him after that night hoped that he’ll call and ask to be together again. But days went by and there was nothing from him. As if nothing had happened at all.
When Shinya came after several days, Kyo couldn’t take it any longer and told him what happened. He cried in Shinya’s arms and the drummer could only hold him and say comforting words. Shinya was scandalized and wanted to go to Kaoru but Kyo made him not to. There was no point in doing that. It was a one-night thing. It was sex. They drank a lot, felt comfortable like in old times and things turned out this way.
It just hurt a lot. It hurt for Kyo to finally give Kaoru what he always wanted and still not be able to be with him. It hurt Kyo to think that maybe Kaoru just used him for sex. It hurt Kyo to think that maybe this was Kaoru’s revenge for ruining the band and taking away from him what he loved the most in the world. Kaoru knew where to strike so that Kyo would really feel pain. It was showing Kyo the love that he never had and would never have.
~ ~ ~
TBC
Comments would be lovely, people!!! :))) As always :D lol
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Until You Lose Your Breath