You Can't Control Destiny (Completed) | By : pensfan100 Category: Casts RPF > Star Wars (all) > Star Wars (all) Views: 12132 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the people I am writing about in this fanfiction. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
You Can’t Control Destiny – Chapter 17
Natalie shuddered, shook, trembled, every word Hayden could think of, against him, sucking in air in enormous gulps, her heart thumping against him so hard it jackhammered its way into his chest. A protective instinct tightened one arm around her waist, the other hand stroking her back and hair. For so long this moment had only been the stuff of his dreams and it was hard to believe she was really in his arms. But she was. The physical proof clung to him…and wet his neck…and shoulder…and slipped down his chest in cool rivulets.
Hayden eased her back and met her beautiful, wet eyes. They roamed over his face, and hair, and mouth. A storm brewed in those eyes threatening a downpour. Quickly he extricated himself from her. A plaintive protest choked passed her lips but he scrambled off the bed and flicked the bedcovers down. Before Natalie could make another sound he settled her under the covers and rolled her so she lay half over him, her face burrowed against his neck. Then the heavens opened. Terrible, wrenching sobs, painful to hear, wrenched from her throat. Stronogetogether Natalie, always in control, fell apart. Her body quaked as Hayden clutched her tightly to him. The weeping racked her body in spasms and Hayden winced at the helpless howls vibrating into his flesh. Her tears chilled him, slipping over his skin, soaking thelow low beneath him, but it was nothing compared to the heartbreaking wails cresting from her in tidal waves. A tortured, wounded animal suffered less pain than this and the cries stabbed into his bones. Every now and then he reached for a tissue and gently attempted to mop up the excess. It seemed to only push her to cry harder, so he surrounded her with his arms and let her cry, vowing to himself he would never let her exercise such staunch control over her emotions again. How many years had it been since she’d cried, he wondered, closing his eyes trying to absorb her pain. How long had she been shoving this into neat little drawers thinking she was being strong by denying herself this outlet? One thing was sure, he decided, his blue eyes clouded with worry, the nightmares had broken the dam.
Eventually there were no tears left and Natalie’s breathing wavered, punctuated by hiccups and shaky pants. Hayden stroked her hair and let her ride it out. He had never heard anyone cry like that! When she sagged weakly into him, he tilted her chin and held a tissue to her nose.
“Blow,” he ordered softly. Too weak to argue she complied and allowed him to wipe her face. Fingers tilted her chin, a fierce, tender light in his eyes as he surveyed her blotchy face. “OK?”
Natalie tried to speak but still fought the sobbing breaths so she only nodded. Unsteady fingers lifted and traced his full lips. Blue eyes meshed with brown and her heart rattled in its cage. When she could finally speak it was only a whisper and still shaky but it was solemn and fervent.
“I love you.”
An arrow of emotion pierced Hayden’s heart atalatalie’s eyes held his steadfast. Hayden’s lips parted in surprise. Taken aback he stared at her his only response in the hand sliding to cup her cheek.
“W…when I thought you’d forgotten me…and…when I thought I’d never see you again…” Tears welled up once more, bathing her stinging eyes. “If you’d died…”
“Shh,” he soothed, brushing his lips across hers briefly to silence her before he drew back to look into her eyes. “I’m alive. You can feel me right here.” He paused a moment. “Be sure what you say to me, Pretty Eyes, because you have the power to destroy me.”
“I’ve hated every moment away from you,” Natalie confessed as Hayden pushed damp locks of hair off her cheeks. “Every guy I’ve met these last few months I measured against you and they fell so far short. I’ve fought you every step of the way. I thought I was too young. I was afraid to tell you but I’m not afraid anymore. I love you, Hayden.” Desperately she searched his eyes. “Tell me it’s not too late.”
Hayden captured her mouth with his, rolling her onto her back. Lifting his head he feathered kisses across her cheeks and forehead. He sighed and raised his eyebrows. “I know it’s corny and it sounds stupid, but I love you more than anything, or anybody.”
Natalie snuggled her head against his shoulder and sniffled, a tiny smile quirking her lips. “I don’t think that sounds corny or stupid at all.”
Hayden kissed her forehead and rolled onto his back again taking her with him and gazed thoughtfully at the ceiling his fingers absently caressing her shoulder. “No, but it was a bit frightening when I realized the whole truth.”
Natalie lifted her head and looked at him. “What truth was that?”
Earnest blue eyes met hers and a long finger stroked a line along her jaw. “I love my family more than anything,” Hayden explained. “And I’m very close to my mom.” He paused a moment to stare into her and consider his next choice of words. Almost defeatedly he added, “But I love you more. I wouldn’t tell any of them a single thing about how I feel about you. There’s always been someone in my family I could talk to, but not about you. My dad wisely left me alone after I refused to talk and my mom and brother finally gave up. Hejsa and Kaylen fortunately were too wrapped up in other things, but when I kept you all to myself I realized just how deep I was in. When you didn’t call me back after the two months were up…”
“Oh, Hayden, I didn’t know!” Natalie leaned over him, distressed at the pain flitting across his features. “If I’d known I’d have called you right back!” Hayden lifted a skeptical brow. “Yes I would have!” She repeated, eyes narrowing. “I was too proud to call you, but I was eating my heart out. I just didn’t realize how bad it was until I thought I would never see you again. Nothing else mattered after that!”
As her mouth started to tremble Hayden quickly pressed a finger over it. “Don’t,” he urged at her distress. “I’ve told you a million times it was just an accident.”
Tears sparkled in her eyes. “But I almost lost you to my own stupidity.”
“How do you figure?”
“I was too stupid to put two and two together until…until…” Abruptly she moved and rolled away onto her back avoiding his too observant gaze. Intrigued, Hayden followed her pinning her to the bed. In defense she grasped his upper arms to hold him at bay.
“Uh-uh,” he shook his head. “You don’t get out of it that easily. Until what?”
Natalie grimaced her displeasure sending Hayden a pleading pout. Unable to resist he kissed the pouty lips and lifted his head to grin at her. “Nice try,” he congratulated with a smirk, “but no dice. Now, spill it.”
She sighed hereat.eat. “When I saw you with Anna Kournikova on Entertainment News I wanted to rip her hair out by the roots,” she confessed, squirming with discomfort as he gave a very male, very pleased smile. Natalie scowled up at him which made him chuckle in return. “Chelsea was looking for someone that she could tell Justin I was with.” It was Hayden’s turn to scowl. “She thought all my moping around was because of my break up with him well over a year ago.”
“Oh, really,” Hayden’s blue eyes narrowed jealously. A spurt of pleasure squirted through Natalie’s veins at Hayden’s sudden bout of possessiveness.
“That’s why he was hanging around,” Natalie explained smiling. “She encouraged him, not me! When shalizalized her mistake she tried to find a way out of the mess she put me in. When we saw you with Anna,” she practically spat the name, “Chelsea was disappointed because she wanted to use me missing you as my reason for moping and to get Justin to leave. I think she said she’d always thought I should’ve gone after you. I wasn’t paying much attention. I was suddenly very nauseous at the thought of you with someone else.”
Hayden’s laugh barked as he flung himself onto his back. This time Natalie followed him, pummeling him with her fists. The punches tickled and he laughed harder. Incensed, Natalie dug her fingers into his ribs, but Hayden managed to find the strength to grasp her wrists and yank them away.
“I’m not laughing at you!” He spluttered, gasping for air. “I’m laughing at how I felt the same way about that poor excuse of an ‘ex’ boyfriend when I saw you with him right after the segment with me and Anna.” Natalie stopped struggling and gazed down at him. The tilted, boyish smile he gave her squeezed her heart. “I saw you with him and decided to go ahead and play that hockey game. I just didn’t want to think about you. It hurt too much.”
The smile on Natalie’s face died at his words, snuffed out like water on a fire. Goosebumps pebbled her flesh as she toppled back onto the mattress. Immediately, Hayden followed covering her upper body with his, the comforting warmth of him seeping into her. Her hand slid up his neck, fingers entwining in his hair. Pulling his head close to hers she searched his face and expelled a ragged breath.
“I will never do something like that to you,” she vowed, her eyes blazing in promise. “We may not always see eye to eye and we may get upset with each other at times but I will never do that. If you ever see something stupid like that, don’t believe it. Come to me and I will tell you the truth.” Hayden opened his mouth to comment. “And don’t play hockey or anything else if you see or hear something like that until you talk to me!” Hayden smiled down at her and her expression softened, full of tenderness. “Promise me.”
The remnants of those awful nightmares reasserted their ugly heads and Hayden tangled his fingers into her hair. “I promise,” he angled his head closer so her vision only included him. “Now, if you would kindly shut up I would like to kiss you again.”
Her soft chuckle tickled his lips as she tugged his head down. “Oh, I think you can do much better than just a kiss,” she whispered wickedly, her tongue darting out to lick his mouth.
Hayden’s answer was lost against her lips but the message in his wandering hand was unmistakable. The for for urgency was gone to be replaced by a slow, sweet giving more emotional than physical. Their bodies glided leisurely against each other as their kisses caressed and lingered. When Hayden’s lips tarried at the juncture of her shoulder and neck she sighed. When she kissed the highly sensitive corner of his mouth he smiled and rubbed his nose against hers. Shivers of pleasure spiraled dows sps spine as her hands slid languidly along the skin stretched taut over the muscles of his back and shoulders. When his lips nudged hers she opened to him reveling in the stroke of his tongue.
A flame of desire flickered in the pit of Natalie’s belly, her hands pulling him over her, his shaft unerringly sheathing itself in the heart of her sex. Arms wrapped around his neck and held him close as her body gently rocked against him. Teeth scraped along his bottom lip as he teasingly inched his mouth out of reach. Heavy with fatigue and desire, her eyes flitted open glittering up at him in protest. A kiss feathered across her mouth and Hayden smiled.
“I love you,” he whispered to her in the soft darkness. Natalie’s breath snagged in her throat as tears gushed into her eyes. She tried to blink them away but even in the near darkness a little light caught their diamond brilliance. “Don’t cry,” Hayden said indulgently, a finger catching a tear as it spilled over.
“I’m not crying,” she murmured, winding her legs tightly around his waist. He hummed a reply contrary to her answer and her hand brushed against his cheek, her thumb rubbing along his bottom lip. “I love you, too,” she breathed in a reverent hush. “So very much.”
The smile on Hayden’s lips faltered as her words surrounded him binding him to her more securely than any physical rope or bond. Again he tasted her lips, his body moving lazily within hers.
For a while their lower bodies gently rolled along one another’s in no hurry to reach the end of the journey. Once, concerned his weight was crushing her, Hayden attempted to move and change position but Natalie tightened her arms and legs around him and muttered ‘no’ against his mouth. Bit by bit their movements quickened and they journeyed to that place known only to them. As her hips circled his he pressed down into her and grunted his satisfaction. A soft cry of release spilled from Natalie as she floated over the edge then drifted like a feather back to earth sleepy and replete.
Hayden’s yawn broke against her neck and Natalie’s hand stroked the back of his head as she shifted against him. Barely moving he pulled out of her and spooned her to him nestling them under the covers.
“I’m sleepy,” he yawned again, tucking her head under his chin.
“G’night,” Natalie mumbled with a small, contented smile.
The arm around her squeezed slightly once then slackened. Natalie gave a tiny yawn and slipped away, her body pleasantly spent. There would be no dreams to haunt her tonight.
The next day Natalie called her mom with a cryptic message about bringing someone over for dinner. Someone special. As soon as Natalie hung up her mom phoned her dad at the hospital the news spilling out of her so quickly she had to back up and repeat it. With no clues as to whom she was bringing they could only speculate. The only thing they could figure out was that it was a young man.
Eventually Natalie and Hayden made their way to Long Island where her parents lived. With a few hours to kill before dinner Hayden took over and led Natalie through a neighborhood close to her parents’ house.
“How do you know this area so well?” She asked curiously.
“I took acting lessons in the city for a few summers,” he reminded her as he led her up the sidewalk of a stately old house. The path was bordered on both sides by a flowerbed full of bright colored pansies. “I had to live somewhere.”
Knocking a rhythm on the door Hayden stepped back and waited. Shortly after, the door opened and a woman with short white hair and vivid blue eyes appeared, her face wreathed in an ecstatic smile.
“Hayden!” She cried in delight opening her arms commanding a hug.
With a huge bear hug Hayden lifted the laughing woman off her feet. “Oh you! Put me down! Let me look at you!” Hayden dutifully set her on her feet. “Come in, come in!” Hayden stepped back and laying a hand on the small of Natalie’s back ushered her through the door.
“Your mother said you were in the city, but I didn’t think I’d get to see you,” the woman plunged on before Hayden could get a word out. Her lively eyes landed on Natalie and she extended her hand to her gripping firmly. “And this must be Natalie. How nice to meet you.”
Bewildered, Natalie glanced at Hayden who burst into laughter. “Grandma,” he complained good-naturedly, “I haven’t even gotten a ce toe to introduce you! She has no clue who you are.”
“Oh!” Hayden’s grandmother exclaimed and waved Hayden’s complaint away. “I’m Hayden’s grandmother, Jean.”
Hayden wagged a finger at her. “Mom’s been running her mouth again, hasn’t she?”
“Oh, poo!” Jean headed towards the kitchen and motioned them to follow her. “She said you were frantic to get to New York and you were crazy about this little girl here.”
Hayden’s face flamed in embarrassment and Natalie grinned at his grandmother. “Some lemonade?” Jean asked as she pulled the pitcher from the refrigerator. Turning around she caught Hayden’s discomfiture. “What? What?”
Natalie laughed. “I think he’s embarrassed.” Hayden scowled at her and a thrill of delight coursed through Natalie. “Why are you so red? You already told me you were crazy about me.”
Hayden’s grandmother laughed and winked at Natalie.
“No, what I said was I loved you,” he defended, not realizing the information he was supplying to his grandmother.
“So?”
“So, I didn’t go telling anyone else yet but you,” he pulled out a kitchen chair for her. Natalie impulsively kissed his cheek as he sat down and he plopped into one next to her.
“Who cares who else knows,” Jean poured the lemonade. “Natalie knows and she’s the one who counts.”
Hayden shook his head and eyed his grandmother. “I wanted to tellryonryone myself. Is nothing a secret in this family?”
“You should be used to it by now,” she replied wryly, patting his hand. “And for the record I’m the only one she told. Now enough of you, I want to talk to Natalie.” Hayden shrugged and took a sip of lemonade motioning at Natalie with his other hand.
“She’s all yours,” he acquiesced. “I have to meet her parents later so I guess it’s an even exchange.”
Natalie enjoyed the surprise visit with Hayden’s grandmother and the obvious love she had for him. Much to his continuing embarrassment and Natalie’s delight Jean hauled out photos and videos of him, too many to get through in one visit. Jean invited her back so just the two of them could scour through all the items. Hayden told Natalie no way so Natalie said she’d love to and stuck her tongue out at him.
All too soon Natalie was dragging Hayden to her parents’ door. A few blocks over from his grandmother’s, the house was newer but just as warm and beckoning on the outside. Hayden hung back a bit in apprehension and let Natalie pull him behind her.
“Are you nervous?” Natalie laughed in disbelief.
“Uh…a little,” he replied attempting to straighten his wavy hair with one hand.
“Stop that,” Natalie playfully swatted his hand down and giggled. “You look handsome and sexy just the way you are and you know it.”
“I do?” Hayden grinned, distracted by her offhand compliment. So focused on the warmth spreading through him at her words he lost track of his surroundings and found himself lowering his eyes to admire the rounded curve of her bottom.
The sound of the door and happy greetings from another woman jerked Hayden’s eyes guiltily away from the pleasant view. Praying her mother hadn’t noticed where his eyes had been Hayden followed Natalie into the house, the male part of him effectively shutting itself down out of fear. Tonight, he jokingly reminded himself, sex and Natalie are NOT synonymous.
Fortunately for Hayden the manners drilled into him practically from birth came to his rescue and automatically kicked in. He shook her hand as they were introduced, curiously watching mother and daughter interact. Natalie’s mom smiled warmly at him and he didn’t miss the approving look she gave her daughter and noticed she didn’t miss the way Natalie slid her hand into his. Natalie gave Hayden’s fingers a comforting squeeze and he smiled contentedly, all nervousness gone.
“Hayden,” Natalie’s mom began as they sat down in the spacious living room. “I am so glad to meet you and see for myself that you have fully recovered from your accident.”
“Thank you,” he answered. “It took me a while to convince Natalie that I was fine.”
“Really?” Natalie’s mom raised her eyebrows obviously receiving news she didn’t know. “That must be why she spent so much time in Canada.”
Hayden caught the teasing glimmer in her eyes and laughed at the now reddening Natalie.
“Mother,” Natalie warned.
“Now, now, Nat,” Hayden chastised lightly. “All’s fair. You stood by today while my grandma embarrassed me and then dragged out all those old photos and movies.”
“Well,” her mom began, sweeping her arm in an arc, “as you can see we dote on our only child. Come. I’ll show you pictures.”
“Mom!” Natalie wailed as Hayden let himself be guided around the living room full of all kinds of photos of lie.lie. Natalie’s mom ignored her and Hayden gleefully took the tour.
“Wow,” he whistled, bending low over a small, framed photo. Natalie groaned and slid face down on the couch. “At least you didn’t see any baby pictures of me lying naked on a blanket.” Natalie’s mom burst out laughing as Hayden nodded in Natalie’s direction and her mom saw her daughter’s head buried in the couch cushion.
“I hope Dad’s home soon,” Natalie’s muffled voice whined, “so he can put a halt to you doing this to me.”
Instead, it got worse. Once her dad met Hayden she beelined into the kitchen when it was clear he was going to pick up where her mom left off. She helped finish dinner one ear constantly on any noise she could hear from the living room. Every once in a while she heard her dad laugh and then Hayden’s low, amused chuckle.
“I’ll kill him,” she muttered, tossing the salad with vicious flips.
“Who, dear?” Her mom asked. “Hayden or your father?”
“Both!” Natalie decided. Her mom laid a hand on her arm, stopping the salad tossing. Wide-eyed Natalie looked at her.
“Stop, dear. The salad is already dead.”
“So,” Natalie began as soon as the door to her apartment closed behind them, “what did you and my dad talk about before dinner?”
Hayden’s light-hearted whistling ceased and he turned to her with a wide grin. “Oh, this and that,” he answered nonchalantly. “Guy stuff. I like your dad, your mom, too. They were very nice. They should meet my grandma. They live pretty close to each other.” He stretched his body feeling Natalie’s eyes roam over his form and grinned as he picked up the entertainment section of the New York Times. “Have you decided what play you’d like to see tomorrow evening?”
A noise of frustration gurgled in Natalie’s throat and she threw herself beside him. Hayden peeked at her out of the corner of his eye and grinned. “Hayden,” she whined.
“Natalie.” He sang back at her. “It’s no big deal! He showed me pictures of you and told me a few stories. Then we discussed the news of the day…”
When his voice trailed off suddenly Natalie sat up stiffly. “And?” she pressed worrying her lip.
Hayden shrugged and spread the paper open on the coffee table interested in finding a play. “And then he asked me what my intentions were towards you.”
A gasp strangled Natalie’s throat. “Oh, no!” she groaned. “He didn’t! Oh, I don’t believe him!”
“Well, seeing as he pointed out you’d never brought a guy to their house before he wanted to make sure my intentions whonohonorable.”
Natalie groaned again and laid her forehead against his shoulder. “And what did you say?”
“I said, ‘purely lustful, sir. You should hear how I can make her moan when I…’” Hayden collapsed at the sheer look of horror on Natalie’s face a second before she realized he was kidding. She pushed at him and struggled as he put his arms around her but his physical strength won out. Once he quit laughing he smiled into the brown eyes glaring up at him. “I said ‘I love your daughter, sir, more than anything and all my intentions towards her are most serious and honorable.’”
Natalie’s chocolate glare melted into warm, golden honey and Hayden smiled at her. “And I meant every word,” he stated quietly before bending his head and capturing her willing lips. When they finally parted she was flushed and starry-eyed. He kissed the tip of her nose. “Now, let’s find us a play to go to tomorrow night.”
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