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Amnesia and Star Child	By : coldblood Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Linkin Park Views: 1642 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Linkin Park. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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I stare at myself in the mirror, shocked at myself, shocked at Blue - that was wrong and it should’ve never happened - and now Rob’s going to think I want him!
I choke back the urge to throw up, my thoughts are reeling - I don’t know what to do!
Why did Blue do it - what the hell does he think he’s playing at?!
My gaze comes back up to the mirror and I become angry - suddenly I lash out and smash my hand into the glass.
I don’t expect it to break, and it doesn’t, but the force of the punch knocks it off the wall and it shatters into a million pieces on the floor.
I’m choking back sobs now, I’m so angry with everyone and everything that I can’t think - I need something to relieve the stress.
I grab a jagged piece of glass off the floor and slice my wrist open - blood pours out and I feel better - I slash again and again, then attack the rest of my arm.
Blood flecks the floor, red against the white of the glossy tiles, but I don’t care - nothing matters anymore.
“Go away - go away - go away - go away...” I mutter to myself, so fast and low that the words are becoming incoherent of each other.
Where’s Rosie? Why has she gone? Why is all of this happening - just - why the fuck does everything have to be so hard for me?!
I swap hands and carve ‘GO AWAY’ deep into my flesh, I don’t care about the mess I’m making, the little chunks of flesh being dug out and landing on the floor amidst splatters of blood, I don’t care - it doesn’t matter anymore.
I don’t deserve to live.
Finally I manage to drop the piece of glass, watching as the bloodstained demon clinks to the floor.
I feel dizzy, and I know it’s just the loss of blood.
My clean hand touches my shirt, and I realize I’m still covered in Rob’s cum, so I weakly drag myself into the shower and turn on the faucets, barely caring that the water is very nearly scalding hot - I just want to come clean.
I feel dirty and perverted for what I’ve done.
I slump on the floor and watch as the world spins before my eyes, watching as the dreams I had somewhere in the long blackness of sleep appear and slip around in my mind like snapshots of someone else’s life.
Who am I...? What am I...?
I am nothing.
“I am nothing.” I whisper.
A roaring assaults my ears; Breaking The Habit is playing from a nonexistent stereo, the scenes of the planned live action video play in my mind as water beats down on me.
I didn’t write the songs just for the fans as I had said. I lied - the song is my life.
I’m worth nothing.
What have I done for anyone?
Nothing.
I’m only a liar.
“A liar.” I whisper.
Tears are rolling down my cheeks, pouring down to accompany the blood flowing down my arms and shower water gushing down the drain.
I want to die - I don’t want to keep going anymore. I’ve been putting with all of this shit for twenty three - twenty four years - fuck I don’t know - I could’ve been putting up with this crap for seventy years for all I can tell.
All I know is that enough is enough.
Rosie kept me going after the psycho’s attack, and that was at least ten years ago, if I haven’t got over that in that time then I’m obviously a doomed case.
“Rosie...” I whisper. “If you can hear me... I’m sorry.”
My vision is blurring and dimming, I feel lightheaded and weak.
The end is near and thank god too, everyone will be so much better off when I’m gone.
I hear a door open and a voice.
“Mike?” It sounds like Chester.
God no don’t do this to me - Chester - go - go away... You don’t want to see this...
“Holy Christ! What the fuck - Mike!” I see a shadowy figure come towards me and crouch down in front of me.
“Leave...” I breathe.
I’m going to die and there’s no point in making a fuss.
“HELP!!!” Chester screams. “BRAD - PHOENIX - ANYONE!!! HELP!!!”
And what does he do? Make a fuss.
Chester always was a drama queen, but this isn’t a stage this time.
“Leave me alone.” I manage to utter a few more words.
Suddenly I black out.

~*~*~

Rosie was miles away.
Her telepathic connections with Mike remained, but she was too far away to be of any assistance - grief what a fool she was!
She was fast through the land, and the journey across the border was relatively easy, it only took her two weeks at an easy pace, and now she was residing in the forested area around Köln in Germany.
It would take her at least a week to get back to Paris - and by then she might as well be a year or a second late - either way Mike would be dead.
“You fool.” Rosie spoke in angry English.
She hurried on, swinging through the trees with such ease she could’ve been flying.
When the trees thinned, she took to other ways of getting along, twisting her body to the side and swinging along the power poles.
But no matter how fast she moved, she could feel Mike disengaging from her; the telepathic waves were wavering, weakening.
Mike please hold on!
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Amnesia and Star Child