stranded

Chapter 17

I read as the bus headed towards the destination. Occasionally my thoughts would drift to Christian. I tried to push them way down inside of me, to forget everything that I feel for him, but it's hard. On the last day of the trip I went into the bathroom, my stomach must have been in knots, because I threw up my supper for the first time. I wasn't even paying attention to anything, so I never realized that I had missed my period for two months on the island. I just thought it would have been, because of what I was eating and getting lots of exercise. I would get a pregnancy test on the way to the hotel I was going to be staying at until I get a place of my own and open my bank account. Either way I wasn't going to let anybody know anything, until it was confirmed if I am or not. I tried to read, but my thoughts kept getting in the way. It was very late when I checked into the hotel that was already booked for me by the people who arranged it. Everything was arranged for me and I was going to get a test the next morning. That night I lay in the bed and cried. I tried not to, but I was feeling lonely and scared. I wondered how Christian was doing and then the thought of him and the island was too much.

I broke down and cried, I used up most of the Kleenex that was in the bathroom, filling the garbage can up. I did manage to write in my journal and then decided to try to get some sleep. I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling. Finally I turned to my stomach, but then I felt uncomfortable and moved to my back again. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. The next morning I went to the drug store that was in the hotel and purchased a test. Sitting in the bathroom and waiting was torture. I closed my eyes and didn't want to look. It was positive. Now I had to go to the doctor to get it confirmed. I slipped the test into my carryon in a plastic ziploc bag I had and closed it up. I ordered room service and ate breakfast. I relaxed and watched TV. Occasionally I wrote in my journal about what I was going to have to do I did a pro and cons just for the hell of it.

I was deciding if I should let him know or keep it from him. I'm not sure about it. I have to wait until after I see the doctor. Just what I need, drama in my life. Not that I wouldn't love the child, it's just that I don't need drama in my life and stress. I was going to go to the doctor the next day after I opened up an account at a bank and then after that have to decide what I'm going to do. That night as I lay in the bed. I had lots of thoughts running in my mind. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Finally I just closed my eyes and let myself drift off to sleep.

(Sorry this is such a short chapter!)