Bittersweet

Hey everyone. I know it has taken me aaaaaaages to update this. I suffered from severe writer's block, had problems logging in and just way too much stuff to do to finish this. But tonight I finally wrote a new chapter. I was too impatient to proofread it properly, so I hope you wont mind the mistakes.

Thank you once again for all the reviews I received. Keep 'em coming :-D

Hope I'm not disappointing anyone with the new chapter.

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Chapter Sixteen


We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? (Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars)

Katie was standing at the window staring into a clear London sky. It didn’t matter to her whether it was raining

or not. It didn’t make a difference anyway. She watched the tiny clouds moving along; they were more like tender

veils unable to hide from the sun. The leaves in the tree were moving slightly in the wind. Her gaze followed one

of them slowly gliding towards the ground until it landed softly beside another leave that she had watched only a

few minutes ago.

Suddenly somebody stormed into the room and banged the door. Katie was even too lethargic to be shocked. She

didn’t turn around, did not even move a muscle. The person standing in the room didn’t say anything. She knew it

was Anna though.

“What do you want?” she muttered through her teeth.

“I want my sister back!” was Anna’s firm answer.

Katie turned around and stared at her. “I’m right here” she whispered.

Anna shook her head sadly and then breathed in deeply. “You’re not my sister anymore. What did you do to her?”

Katie was annoyed and definitely not in the mood for her sister’s weird games. “Come on, Ann, cut it out!”

“No, I won’t. I want my sister back, the one I loved so much! You know her, don’t you? She’s kind and warm and

loving - and even more than that – She’s a fighter! She’s not somebody who gives up easily. Listen, darling, I

know you’ve been through so much and at the moment everything just feels empty and doesn’t make any sense

anymore – but it’s gonna be over. You’re stronger than this. I know it!”

“Oh for fucks sake, Ann, stop it! You’ve been holding the same speech here every day over and over again! What do

you expect?? I have lost my child!!!”

“And nothing’s gonna give it back to you.” She paused knowing that this was not what Katie wanted to hear. But

she knew her sister. And she knew that the hard way was the only way to help her right now. She knew that if she

managed to hit the right spot at the right time she would get her going. It had always been like that. Katie had

just always needed a push into the right direction. At least she hoped so, Katie was so miserable at the moment

who was to know what she really needed. But she would have to keep trying. After all, that was the only chance

she had left.

“He is dead! Your boy is dead!”

Katie just stared at her sister. The words hit her hard. She felt her chest tighten and a deep pain creeping up

in her pushing away the numbness which had lulled her in for such a long time.

“You are a Stratford, my dear! We don’t give up! YOU have never given up on anybody…You stayed with Orlando and

helped him to learn to walk again, you lifted up Jamie when he was about to destroy himself, you carried me

through when I was about to give up in my sorrows. You have never given up on anybody – so why start with

yourself? You are this person who has this incredible strength in her – the person who kept all of us going!

That’s you, not this woman who drowns in self-pity! Get a grip, woman!”

Katie clenched her teeth and fists. She shivered. Seeing her like that gave her a little hope. She needed to know

whether there was anything left in her sister…just any emotion at all. But Katie only turned around and stared

through the window again. She had missed another three leaves falling down. Anna was still talking, but noticed

after a while that Katie wasn’t listening anymore. She was busy counting the leaves.

But something inside of her was stirring. Her baby was dead. And there was nothing on this earth that was gonna

bring him back to her. There was nothing that would turn back the time… She would have to move on eventually. The

leaves kept falling when suddenly she felt cold hands on her shoulders. She jerked, but instantly realised who

was touching her. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent. She felt his warmth against her body, offering her

the peace she so longed to find. “Your hands are cold”, she whispered and covered his hands with hers – that were

just as cold. He leaned in closer to her and buried his face in her hair. “He is dead,” he whispered. Katie

nodded, her lips trembling. Orlando ran his hands up and down her arms until he held her firmly by the shoulders.

His grip tightened as he whispered the same thing over and over again. “Our son is dead. He is dead.”

She swallowed. Her knees weakened and she leaned against him in search for support which she immediately found.

“Stop it,” she murmured, but he continued. “Stop it!” She begged again, tears already pressing against her eyes.

She could feel him pull her closer towards him. She knew he was afraid of losing her. But why would he want to

keep her?

All the time he never stopped whispering the same sentence into her ear. “Let him go. He is dead!” All of a

sudden Katie gathered all her strength. She turned around and pushed him away in one motion. “WHY ARE YOU DOING

THIS TO ME?”

“Because I don’t wanna lose you!” His eyes were fixed on her now trying to hold her gaze. His knees trembled and

his hand shivered when he reached out to her.

“Why…?” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

“Baby, I lost my son, I couldn’t bear to lose you, too.”

“But it was my…”

He made a quick step towards her and hushed her with his lips. Katie was stunned at this sudden change and let

him leave his lips right there. “I love you…” he muttered through his teeth. Their lips were still pressed

against each other and slowly Katie got accustomed to this feeling again. The feeling of familiarity returned to

her. The warmth of his soft lips and the passion behind it made her knees shake. She tasted salt, but did not

know whether it was from his or her tears. She felt his lips trembling and his shoulders shaking and then

something in her opened up. She gave in to the wave of desire that suddenly rolled over her.

There was no need for words now. She opened her mouth and granted his tongue the desired access. He promptly took

possession of her mouth and kissed her with such a desperate passion that they both sank down to the floor. He

rolled on top of her and kept her down with his weight, holding her head firmly in his hands, all the while

kissing her fervently. But he didn’t need to hold on to her. Katie let him kiss away all the pain that had

deafened her body over the last weeks and freed the passion and desire that had built up inside of her. Her hands

slid under his t-shirt and her nails scratched up and down his back. He shivered under her touch and roughly bit

her lip. She moaned but did not pull away from him. He kissed her lips gently now, but that was not what she

needed. She needed him to show her that she was still alive. She tugged on his t-shirt impatiently until he

finally took it off and then removed her own top. No more time to waste. Her hands went straight down to his

jeans and opened them. She slid her hands inside and took hold of his cock. He gasped when he felt her hand right

there and lowered his head towards her neck. Feeling his breath on her shoulder turned her on even more and she

started rubbing him. She didn’t even notice that Orlando removed her bra and pulled on her trousers until he got

up to take them off her. He knelt beside her and just took in the sight of her body. Then he bent down and kissed

the scar on her belly. She shrieked, but relaxed when she realised that he was not going to stop it. Then Orlando

moved further up her body until his lips rested on her nipples. Teasingly, he began to lick and suckle them until

Katie moaned again. He withdrew looked at her deeply. Her green eyes were fixed upon him. And there it was again:

the Stratford sparkle. The veil that had covered it up was lifted and he could see them shine at him. Hypnotised

by their beauty he leaned forward and just stared at her. “What?” she whispered.

“It’s back… the sparkle in your eyes… I can see it again…” He stammered before he kissed her again. Then he

lifted her up and carried her to the bed. He crawled on top of her and slid into her wetness that had already

been awaiting him. Katie closed her eyes and arched her back. As much as he enjoyed her movement he begged her to

look at him. Obligingly she fixed her eyes upon him and held on to his head while he kept pushing into her. She

wrapped her legs around him to push him deeper into herself. Already she felt her climax build up between her

legs and when she told him so, he pushed harder into her making her moan even louder. He knew he wouldn’t last

too long this at this pace, so he tried to slow down a bit but she begged him to go faster again. She wanted to

feel him as close as possible, as deep as possible and as hard as possible. She wanted him to take all the pain

away and satisfy her restless body. She was winding underneath him, already close to her climax. Orlando knew

that look on her face, her lips trembling, the quick gasps and her eyelids fluttering. He knew she was close –

and so was he. He pushed harder into her when she asked him to and enjoyed every gasp of her as if it was the

first time he heard it. Her nails dug deep into his arched back, but he didn’t care. All he felt were the

sensations she was creating between his legs and her body responding to his. Then he felt her tense up. She bit

her lips and closed her eyes. Her hips pressed hard against his, her legs were locked at his behind. He paused

for a moment and then thrust into her causing her to scream out her climax. Feeling her tighten around him he

followed her immediately and spilled into her.

He stayed in her for a few seconds afterwards. His body rested on hers and he was breathing against her shoulder.

She had clutched her arms around him and hid her head between his neck and shoulder, placing sweet kisses all

over his shoulder and neck. They remained like that for a while until he rolled off and snuggled up beside her.

Still out of breath, he told her that he loved her. Katie smiled at him. He felt as if he hadn’t seen that smile

in a life time and so he soaked in that sight and placed it safely in his memory so he would always be able to

call upon it when in need.

“I know,” she whispered.

They remained silent for a while. Katie rested her head on his shoulder while he gently stroked her back. “We’re

gonna make it through this, right?”

“Yes!” he nodded. “Of course we will. It took us that long to make it this far. I am not going to give that up

again.”

“Good. ... I love you, too.” Having said that she felt a wave of sleep rolling over her and yielded to it

instantly.

For the first time in months she did not sleep-walk, yes, she did not even wake up at night.

For a while Orlando watched her sleep, enjoying the feeling of familiarity that crept over him, but eventually he

had to give in to a long sleep, too.

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