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I'm Not Gay	By : PunkyEmoFreak Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Tokio Hotel Views: 2061 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Tokio Hotel. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
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- 18
|| Bill’s POV ||

A month of only seeing Tom once a week was hard. Especially since, as I predicted, we weren’t allowed to be by ourselves again. So no stolen kisses under the watchful eyes of his crazy lady counselor, Pasic. But I still got to have his smile all to me. When she was looking at something else other then us, Tom would catch my eyes with his own and flash me my smile. My heart would flutter a bit before the counselor would continue her talking and poking and prying of questions.

We would answer them, most of them lies. She was interested in how we seemed so close when we had only met a short time ago. How long had it been? Almost fours months I think. It seems so much longer then that. I love Tom more then anything, it seems like we’ve known each other forever. Then again, maybe we have. After all, they say twins have some sort of a connection.

The first week she met me, I though Tom was going to kill her. When she say me she though I was a girl. Tom was ready to pounce, but I held his hand and just laughed it off. Bill, what an unusual name for a girl. Is it short for something? That when Tom went to pounce and I grabbed his hand to calm him down, she didn’t notice. ”Yeah,” I told her, “It’s short for William. I’m a guy.” The look on her face was so funny that I would pay to see it again.

Well, Tom got out today. So did Riley. I didn’t really care so much about her getting out, I found her kind of a threat. She might actually be prettier then me… wait. No. No one is prettier then me. Tom made sure to tell me that. But Riley was extremely vain. Speak of the devil herself…

“Hey Bill!” She called as she and Tom walked out the front doors of the hospital and she waved excitedly at me. She was dragging Tom behind her. Who seemed to not want to come out. I turned my head around and saw why, Urie came to pick him up. No Hailey in sight. Andreas brought me here, I was tempted to tell Urie that we’d take him home. I didn’t have to though, Andreas was already busy talking to the older man.

“Hey Riley,” I said as soon as she got up to me. I went to wrap my arms around my brother, but he pulled away and I frowned. Not understanding at all. Why pull away now? But of course… Urie again. I was really starting to hate this guy.

“Andreas says he and Bill are taking you and…” He didn’t remember Riley’s name, we could all tell. “Her out to eat. You’re not still throwing up everything, are you boy?” He asked Tom, who I could tell was biting his tongue not to say something that might make him be forced to go home with Urie now. He simply said he didn’t do that anymore. “Good,” Urie told him with a shrug of his shoulder. “Just be home for dinner. You’re mother is making something big. The Mehr’s next door are coming too.”

“Yes, sir.” Tom and I said together and Urie shuddered. He was the only one who didn’t like there being two of us, no matter how different we were. Oh well, who really cared what Urie though anyways? I surely didn’t. I know Tom couldn’t stand the man. He left as quick as he could though, leaving the four teenagers in the parking lot of Aspen Springs.

Tom’s face instantly grew into a smile as he grabbed me in his arms, he was stronger then he had been as he spun me in a circle. I vaguely remember him saying something about being able to use the gym there. He pulled our bodies close together and me into a kiss. I nearly squealed at the kiss, but held it back as I kissed him back. I was surprised he kissed me so willingly in front of others; then again, it was only Riley and Andi. And they already knew everything.

Riley let out a loud ‘awwwwwwe’ and Andreas just shook his head. Tom pulled his lips away from mine and smiled, I wasn’t letting him go though. He was my Tom. All mine now. No walls stopping us from being together. I laid my head on my twins shoulder, sighing happily as my feet were once again on the ground and Tom’s arms were still around me. This wasn’t a dream. I hate dreams… they’re scary. I had honestly thought before that my Tom had given up on me then, but he didn’t. He was out of that hell.

“So where are we going?” I heard Riley ask, breaking my thoughts from the stupid dream and I felt Tom turn slightly to look at her. She was smiling wide, I don’t remember seeing that smile on her. I’ve been making myself understand what every smile from someone meant ever since I noticed the different ones from Tom’s. So far I had noticed three on Riley, there was one when she was lying to authority, it was kind of like Tom’s, but she had a little more curve to the side of her lip. There was the one when she was drugged up- I hadn’t seen that one in a long time though. Not since I met her. There was the one when she was happy or excited, talking about getting out of Aspen Springs with Tom, getting along with the three of us. ( We were allowed to hang out after the counselor meetings, but it still had to be with more then just us. Normally in this rec room place with Andi and Riley and a few other scattered kids. )

And now there was this one. It was like the happy one, but her eyes made it something completely different. Hope and nervousness filled them. I would have to ask her about it later- or I’d make Tom do it. He knew her better. They seemed really close, not close like Tom and I, but closer then Tom seemed the Georg and Gustav.

Tom was the one to answer her, but before he did he gave this look to Andreas as if saying he better not disagree. “We’re going to you’re Nana’s to get all you’re shit. Then we’re going to go do something else, I dunno, mall or movies or something.” He gave me a look that made me almost sequel when he said movies. But I noticed the look in Riley’s eyes had changed when Tom mentioned getting her stuff. The nervousness and hopeful look had disappeared and a pure just honestly happy look filled her face.

“Alright, Riley, you’ll have to give me directions, so sit up front with me.” Andreas said, he smiled at me, he knew I would want to sit in back with Tom. I was grateful for that. I think Tom and I had the world’s best friends now. If I was lucky, the G-strings would be completely forgotten and I wouldn’t have to share Tom at all. Nor worry about what he’s doing while he’s out with them. I hadn’t even thought of the possibility if Tom going back to them.

Riley nodded at Andreas before he and Tom put Riley and Tom’s few bags in the trunk. Riley climbed in the front and I in the back and in no time at all, Tom was next to me and Andreas was driving while Riley gave him directions. It was going to be an hour drive to Riley’s Nana’s place, so another three before we would even be home. It was eight in the morning now, so by the time we get back close to home it will be almost noon. But I was okay with spending a few hours in this back seat with Tom.

I handed Tom his cell phone and iPod I had on me and he smiled and kissed me as a thank you. They were both charged, even though I hadn’t once turned on Tom’s cell while he was gone. I wasn’t going to go threw his things. It would be too much prying. He turned on his cell and within a few minutes, it went of with a constant buzz in his hand that was starting to annoy me. Sheesh! He’s gone a month, when everyone knew it, and you would think he’d been gone for a year. Forty-six text messages, eighteen voice mails, and too many missed calls to count.

He moved to the corner of the car and pulled me lose to him to lay my head on his chest so he could check all the messages. I was okay with that for now, I knew he had other friends and probably missed them, even if I was jealous about that I wouldn’t stop him. I wouldn’t make him mad at me for something so stupid. He would read one or another and laugh a little at some as he replied and the buzzing would come a few minutes later with a response.

My fingers traced along his stomach over the jersey he wore- his own clothes that made me so happy to see on him again. He looked just the same as he did before- the two big clothes always hid how tiny he was. He looked healthier though, not having been able to drink for so long, and the pale almost yellowish look to his skin was gone and he had a slight tan. He spent a lot of time outside with Riley on their free time when he started working out. I couldn’t feel his bones anymore. All I felt was the flatness of his stomach and a small outline of abs that I already loved on him, even if I hadn’t seen them just yet.

It was near an hour when he finally stopped with the texting, I’m sure having told them all he was busy and he’d call them later or something. I was okay with that. We were pulling up to Riley’s street. She asked if Tom and I were going to come in with her. Tom asked if she needed his help, and Andreas just said for us to stay in the car and catch up some more, he would help her. I was grateful again. Andreas was being so cool about all of this.

“Who were you texting, Tomi? I mean, Tom.” I blushed a little. I didn’t know if I was still not allowed to call him it or if I was. He would yell at me sometimes for it. But others he didn’t. I could never tell why, I made a mental note to ask that later. But right now I wanted this question answered to sooth my jealously if only a little bit.

“It okay, Billa. You can call me Tomi. I like it coming from you. As long as you’re the only one who calls me it and I’m the only one who you allow to call you ‘Billa’. ‘Cause I’ll kill any mother fucker who even tries to call you it.” He was serious, and I loved that he was. I snuggled closer to him and one of his arms wrapped around me, the other still holding his phone tightly in his hand, flipping it open to respond to yet another text he got. I frowned and nudged him in the stomach to answer my question and he just sighed before he did, “Mostly Geo and Gus. They’re gonna come pick me up tonight around eleven, maybe midnight to go out to a club. Gustav says I need to get the feeling of Juvi out of my system. Then Sarah, Rebeckah, Natasha, those twins from the club- can’t remember their names, and a few other nameless girls. They want to meet up too. Apparently the whole school thinks I was in Juvi.”

My whole face paled a lot as I heard the soft tap-tap-tap of Tom replying to someone again. Who? Georg? Sarah? God forbid... Natasha? I knew the girls at school still wanted him. I had guesses about girls from the clubs wanting him too. But this made me want to throw up this time. He was going out with the G-strings tonight… he already said that much. I wanted to hit him. I was mad at him. “To-Tomi… I thought we… we were together now? Are you really going to go out with them… and… girls again?” I couldn’t bring myself to actually ask if he was going to fuck them.

Tom flipped his phone shut after sending the message and slipped it into the pocket of his pants that were still to big for him. “We are together, Bill. In a matter of speaking. But you have to think about it this way; the only people who can know are the only two people who do know. Riley and fu-Andreas. If we want to keep it our secret Billa, then I have to make them think that I’m the same as I was before I left, except hotter and more bad-ass from Juvi.”

I scowled and pushed myself off of my twin, “So you’re still going to fuck around with the girls then? I’m not good enough; you need to have them too?” My voice was snappy and I knew it. But I didn’t care. He deserved the snap. He deserved to be slapped. “Aspen Springs is not exactly Juvi, Tom. As a matter of fact, it’s not Juvi at all! You were in a mental hospital because you’re insane. You should still be there.” I hissed, trying not to cry, “You should get over your addiction to sex. Maybe that’s really what you should have been there for to begin with.”

It was Tom’s turn to look hurt, despite his tan, his face paled and his eyes lost the happy shine they just had a moment ago. “Bill!” He said, his voice snapping almost as much as mine did, but unlike mine, his wasn’t wavering from being on the verge of tears. “I’m addicted to one thing, and that’s you! God, you’re such an idiot sometimes. I only want to be with you! I said I was going out with the G-strings. I’m probably going to drink. I had absolutely no intentions to fucking a girl. Yanno what I was saying to them?” Small tears were slipping threw my eyes and I shook my head, “I was telling them I couldn’t fuck around with them anymore because I’m seeing someone.” He hissed at me, but the snap was going away. “Because I fell head over heals in love while I was away. And even though I can’t tell them who, I can still tell them that I am. Yes, they have to think I’m more bad-ass, and as long as they know I’m getting laid every night, then it doesn’t matter. As a matter of fact, Bill.” He snapped my name again, “I was going to ask if you would come with us tonight.”

I was speechless, how to I respond to that? I was too quick to judge him. But you can’t blame me! The way he said it made it seem like I was right. And I’m too jealous of the girls. “I’m sorry, Tomi…” I whispered as the tears fell down my cheeks. I made a move to brush them away before Tom beat me too it and wiped his thumbs under my eyes.

He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me softly, “You’re the only one I want to be with, Bill. As soon as we can, we’ll move away from here and be together openly where people don’t know we’re related.” I was in shock, “It’ll just be you, me, and Riley.” I noticed he didn’t mention Andreas, but I didn’t care at this point. He was being too sweet. “Riley has no where else to go.” He explained and I just smiled. He pulled me onto his lap and pressed out lips together once more in a kiss that made me want to straddle him right there in the car. “You’re coming with me and the guys tonight?”

“Should Andreas and Riley come too?” I asked, actually moving to straddle my brothers’ hips. He nodded and I smiled, pressing my hips hard against his. I understood it. He wanted to be with me. But since no one could know… it all made sense. And I had an idea to make this all work. Perfectly. “Good… and Tomi… I have an idea about how this can work even more to our advantage with our friends knowing.”

“How’s that?” He asked me as a moan spilled past his lips from me rocking mine against him. I just smirked and continued the rocking of my hips as I explained it to him. He opened his mouth as he nodded, but he couldn’t speak, I had him moaning too much. I love the way he moaned because of me.
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