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Long, Hard Road Out of Hell	By : FlameWolf666 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Marilyn Manson Views: 2983 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: As you know, I still do not know Marilyn Manson, Johnny Depp or any of the other famous people in this fic. This story is, of course, fiction. This was written for fun and no profit will be made.

Chapter List
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Author’s Note: ‘You give up your future, lose your dream, are stained with despair... yet at the same time, you shake off you past, fight reality, and never lose your nobility.’ - Sebastian Michaelis (Black Butler)

Chapter Seventeen: In My Field of Purple Flowers

    Steady beeping filled an occupied room while a hunched figured cupped their head in their hands. Only a soft knock on the door broke the stillness, the shadowed person not even seeming to notice. Then, ever so slowly, the door opened so a stranger could poke their head in. “Johnny?” rumbled a cautious baritone, the door swinging open wider so a bulky person could enter the room.
    “John-o... none of this is your fault. It was beyond any of our control,” the voice continued, a large hand landing on a broad shoulder.
    “I should have stayed with her until Brian got back. I should have been with her today...,” husked a broken voice, the lanky figure shuddering as a ragged sob left him.
    “No... that’s not the case at all... You had no reason to think anything like this would go down. Besides, she has to be independent at some point. You can’t be with her 24/7 and you can’t blame yourself for what amounted to be unfortunate timing,” insisted the other voice before they were moving to a switch on the wall and turning on the light.
    In a flash, the dark figures were revealed to be Jonathan Davis and Johnny Depp. Not even seeming to notice the illumination, the actor stared at the figure lying in the hospital bed; his face twisted into a mask of misery. Sighing, the metal star walked back to his best friend’s side to place a hand between his shoulderblades. “Look, Raves won’t blame you and I doubt the asshole will either. You’ve gotta pull out of this and be strong. For both her and her child,” the singer insisted, pursing his lips as he took in the tubes going into Raven’s too pale arm.
    The poor woman had bruises all over her face and arms, both eye blackened as well as swollen. Only her slight baby bump had escaped the assault, her effort in protecting the child truly paying off. Even when the EMTs had come, they had a hard time uncurling her so they could check her for internal bleeding. Yet, despite a lack of any dire injury, she wasn’t waking up. She was responsive to stimuli but wouldn’t open her eyes. The psychologist in the hospital had suggested she had retreated inside herself and would come out when she was ready. That it would only be a day or two.
    It was now going on a week with no sign of her improving. A few days in, Ginger and Amanda had left; wanting to see what was going on with Manson. After he had heard about the incident, the rockstar had gone disturbingly silent. He had made no mention of what he intended to do about his tour or if he was going to come back. On top of that, nothing Johnny could do or say seemed to be drawing the unconscious woman out of her inner world. He felt utterly lost and useless, wanting to help her but being wholly unable to. It was understandable he had broken under the strain. Yet, he really didn’t have the luxury of feeling sorry for himself.
    Groaning, he ran a hand through his disheveled locks before running it over his grizzled face. Dark rings circled under bloodshot eyes, stubble covering his gaunt cheeks. He was a shadow of his former self. The worst thing was, he was helpless to stop it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t pull out of the black pit that was his guilt. Even with Davis’ helpful words, he couldn’t help but feel he could have prevented what happened. His only solace was that the police were currently hunting down the pair that had done this to her.
    Mismatched eyes glared at the matted carpet under his platform boots, ignoring the voices coming from the other side of the closed door. Despite Amanda’s insistence, he was still on tour. It was the only choice he had and he felt his sanity slowly slipping. At least he had managed to shave some time off by giving into some protest groups and cancelling concerts in highly Christian cities. A small consolation, given what was happening. Right now, being on tour was the last he wanted. What he wanted was a very bloody revenge.
    Just the idea of them daring to do this to his fiance made his blood boil as his hands curled into tight fists on his upper thighs. Closing his eyes, he allowed violent images to fill his head. Images of him gutting her father, neutering her exs, of carving her name into their skin so they wouldn’t forget the reason for their torture. Gritting his teeth, he swallowed his pain as he felt the van come to a stop. While he couldn’t return, he could put his feelings into his performance. Give tonight’s audience one Hell of a show.
    Glaring at the closed door, Amanda fought her urge to yell at the superstar as he exited his room. Instead, she cuddled her son to her chest; shifting her gaze to her husband. To her shock, he was surprisingly neutral. Even sympathetic to the thin male that came staggering out. Huffing out slowly, she allowed herself to really look at this man. The haunted creature she saw before her nearly took her breath away. Instead of the calm, callous beast she had expected, she saw a broken shell. And a Hell of a lot of anger.
    While she had initially thought he was still on tour because he simply didn’t care. Now, she found herself feeling a huge amount of sympathy. The man looked like a trapped wolf, ready to fight at any sign of danger. In fact, he looked ready to run at the first notice. If he had a choice, he’d likely be with Raven; a revelation that made her feel guilty for doubting him. After how much he had improved, she really did owe him the benefit of the doubt. The only problem was, how could she apologize without really apologizing. Then, it came to her; an absolutely devious smirk coming across her face.
    While Manson and the others unloaded, the journalist was hidden in the shadows; having long ago handed off her baby to Jeordie. Pressing a phone to her ear, she paced while she listened to the litany of excuses from the goth rocker’s manager. “All that is well and good but how do you think the press will react when I tell them about what’s going on? You know, about how you’re keeping your client from being with his fiance during her time of need,” she cajoled, using her inner paparazzi to its full advantage. While she normally hated to use this part of herself, she found the timing more than appropriate. Thankfully, her ploy seemed to work wonders; the man on the other end being much more willing to negotiate.
    As the pair watched the unconscious woman for any signs of waking up, they had very different expressions on their faces. While Depp looked outright miserable, Davis looked vaguely pissed. Having his arms crossed over his chest as well as a faint glare on his face, he looked about ready to pop. Instead, he simply shifted his gaze to his closest friend. “So, why isn’t he here with her now? Its been more than enough time for him to cancel his shit and get his ass back here. He’s done it before,” snarled the musician, looking about ready to punch something.
    “That’s the problem. He’s left tour early far too often. People are beginning to get pissed. As much as Brian wants to be here, he just can’t He has to be going absolutely mad by now,” Johnny replied, not taking his eyes off Raven for even a second. If she so much as twitched her eyelids, he wanted to see it.
    “That’s bullshit. If he wanted to, he could intimidate that manager into letting him off because of this. I bet he’s trying to escape the situation. I bet he doesn’t care for Raves as much as he says he does,” Jonathan hissed, his grip tightening on his biceps while he gritted his teeth. That was what woke the actor up.
    In an instant, he was on his feet; gesturing with his head that they should go outside. Then he was heading to the lobby, Davis close on his heels. Making his way to a semi-private corner where they wouldn’t disturb anyone. Rounding on the metal star, he had a furious expression on his handsome face. “You have no clue! You haven’t been around enough to know anything about how he treats her. About how much she means to him. It was hard enough for him to go on tour in the first place. She had to talk him into it,” Depp hissed, keeping his voice low so it wouldn’t carry.
    Jonathan could only stare, some of his anger fading for astonishment. Then he was rubbing the back of his head while a tension left his broad shoulders. “Sorry, you’re right. I shouldn’t assume anything. Especially when I don’t see most of what happens. But you almost talk like you’re part of their relationship,” he conceded, unsurprised when he noticed the other man blushing heavily.
    “I am... Brian noticed how much Raven trusted me and how much we meant to eachother. It also helped that he had a few feelings of his own for me,” came a confession that would have disgusted anyone else. Davis simply didn’t react.
    Not only was it Johnny’s business what he did in private, but the feelings seemed to be mutual for everyone involved. In fact; the more he learned, the more he regretted opening his mouth. They were obviously very close knit and there was every chance Raven had heard what he had said. If that was the case, it was unlikely to have helped the current situation any. “Sorry for earlier man... I spoke out of turn. I’m just... I’m scared for Raves. Even if she regains consciousness, this incident is likely to have changed her. She may be right back to square fucking one,” Jonathan explained, grimacing as he avoided the other man’s gaze.
    “I know... But... I think she’s stronger than that. She’s changed so much, gotten so much more confident. Still, the way she’s retreated into herself is concerning,” Johnny conceded, grimacing when he noticed they had attracted some onlookers. Not only that, but it seemed like the head nurse was heading their way; a disgruntled expression on her face.
    “Let’s head back to her room now. Just... keep the Brian bashing to a minimum. He’s her whole world,” Depp requested before heading back the way they had come at a hurried clip.
    As the final notes of the song trailed off, Manson chucked a mic stand into the audience in a fit of temper. Stomping off the stage with his band on his heels, he stubbornly choked back tears as he clenched his hands by his sides. He wanted to scream, he wanted to punch someone, he wanted to tear apart the room he’d been given. But, most of all, he wanted to tear his manager a new one. It was only the sight of a rather smug looking Amanda in his dressing room that wiped all of that from his mind.
    Raising a shaven brow, he moved to his vanity; grabbing a bottle of water from the cooler beside it. Spinning off the top, he took several swallows before turning to address her presence. “You don’t normally come back here. Something bothering you?” he asked, his gaze going to the baby in her arms as he felt a sharp pang inside him. As far as he knew, the child was alright but he’d forced himself to stay out of contact. If he was given a daily feed of Raven’s condition, there would be no way he would be able to tough it out. He would go insane and just end up ‘going rogue’.
    “No. But I have one question. Just what are you doing here?” came a question that confused the shit out of him.
    Giving her a perplexed glance, Manson decided taking a seat was good idea. Taking a breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose, the weary superstar took in a ragged breath. “I don’t really have a choice. If I did, I’d be on my way home,” he explained as calmly as he could, reigning in his bubbling temper.
    “Well, you should be on your way back then. I had a talk with your manager. Turns out he didn’t want to be the press’ new whipping boy. Mostly due to the fact most people wouldn’t see him in a kind light for keeping you away from your fiance when she needs you,” the journalist pointed out, an oddly malicious look on her pale face.
    The ‘Antichrist Superstar’ simply stared at her, the wheels turning in his head as he tried to absorb what she’d told him. It couldn’t have been that easy could it? This had to be a cruel trick. Yet, the expression on Amanda’s face told him she was all too serious. Feeling his heart cramp in his chest, he rushed forward to plant a kiss on her mouth before running out of the dressing room; leaving behind his confused band. Sputtering, the writer wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she made a disgusted face. “If he wanted to thank me, all he had to do was say so,” she complained playfully while she and the others left as well.
    Time seemed to pass so slowly, taking up tiny bits of eternity. Some of it, he had Davis with him. Most of it, he was alone; Jerome keeping watch outside. Honestly, he prefered it this way. As much as the singer wanted to help, his dislike of Brian only made things harder. Even if the silence gave his mind more opportunity to eat away at him. The goth rocker was not only one of his best friends but was becoming a beloved partner. It was hard to hear nothing but venom and distrust directed toward the man.
    Sighing while he rubbed the stubble on his cheek, Johnny grinned sardonically at the unconscious woman in the hospital bed. “Guess I can see a bit of why you stuck by him through all the shit,” he murmured, reaching for her hand as he fought to keep humor in his voice. If all he could do was keep her calm, then he would do his best too accomplish this.
    “I hope you’re doing okay, wherever you are. I just wish I could tell you any news of Brian. I also wish you would wake up. Your assailants are in jail and Jerome is standing guard. You’re safe,” he encouraged despite knowing it would do no good. That was when he heard a commotion coming from down the hall.
    Getting to his feet, he went to the door; sticking his head out so he could hear what was going on. When he heard Brian’s voice arguing with another man, he was running down the hall. Relief overrode any confusion as he moved, his voice stuck in his throat when he reached the lobby. Flinging open one of the double doors, he looked around the large room until he saw the rockstar facing off with the doctor. “Stop! He’s her fiance!” came out of him finally, stopping the argument in its tracks.
    Staring at the changing sky while purple flowers brushed her sensitive skin, Raven sat up when she sensed a faint ripple. A faint scent. A familiar voice floating in the wind. All of this was enough to draw her back to the world she had been hiding from. While she was loathe to leave this sense of peace, she also wanted to be with him. To be aware again, as much as it would hurt. Most of all, she wanted to stop causing pain. Despite pushing it away, she had been well aware of how guilty Johnny felt. So, with a final glimpse of this place, she was closing her eyes and allowing herself to rise.
    “You mean she just won’t wake up? Christ... I wish I could have been here sooner,” husked a voice as if through mud, muffled and hard to hear.
    “I just wish I could have helped her to regain consciousness. I never should have taken on acting jobs while you were on tour,” responded another voice, making her heart ache.
    ‘No, it wasn’t you! Oh, I’m so sorry Johnny,’ she wanted to call out as everything wavered and her eyes fluttered.
    “Wait, she’s waking up,” announced the voice of her fiance while color flooded into her vision.
    Wincing, Raven squinted to protect her eyes from the harsh overhead lights while she took in the blurred figures leaning over her. Flinching on instinct for a split second, she reached out for both of them with a quiet whimper. Memories were already flooding back, memories of what had been done to her as well as how much pain she was put through. Already, she wished she could go back to her peaceful place. Back to where there was none of this strife. Yet, she knew it would only make things worse. Manson and Johnny had to be worried as it was, not to mention Amanda. She couldn’t just allow herself to avoid reality for any longer.
    In a second, the pair was hugging her while a doctor and a nurse came into the room. “We thought we heard her signs picking up. Would you two mind giving us some space so we can check her vitals?” the older male requested while the young man beside him moved to check the IVs. Reluctantly, the famous pair pulled away from her to allow them to do their work.
    “Alright, follow my finger with your eyes,” the doctor began, holding up his index finger.
    Sighing as she watched the scenery pass outside the tour bus, Amanda was torn between amused and irritated. When she had told Manson the news, she had expected him to rush the entire group out to the van. She hadn’t expected him to run off in a taxi to get a rental car. Still, she couldn’t really blame him. With what had happened, he’d likely want to see Raven was alright as soon as possible. Not to mention the baby she carried. The journalist just wished she could have gone along. The former artist was one of her dearest friends after all.
    Leaning into the drummer beside her, she snuggled their son against her bosom while she watched him sleep. He was another reason she had wanted to go with the rocker. She had wanted to introduce her soul sister to Kyle. The child that had been born during the incident. Something she still felt guilty about deep inside. While she knew she couldn’t have done anything about what happened, she still felt some responsibility. “Honey... None of this is your fault. I hope you know that,” assured a slightly raspy mid-tone in her ear, breaking her out of her semi-stupor.
    “I do but... Christ, why did my labor have to get bad so quickly? Why couldn’t I have held on until Jerome got home?” came out of her before she could stop it, causing her to blush down to the roots of her hair.
    “You couldn’t have done anything to choose when it happened. Labor isn’t something you can turn off and on at will,” reasoned her husband, wrapping a loose arm around her upper shoulders as he pressed a kiss to her temple.
    “I know but... I just... I find it hard to accept that there was nothing I could do,” came an admission while she burrowed her face into his slightly muscled chest.
    Keeping her gaze locked on her fiance’s, Raven half listened to the doctor’s checklist. From the sounds of it, she was pretty much fine. They just wanted to keep her for observation in case she slipped back into her own world. A fact that she and her partners were perfectly fine with. Still, she was beginning to wonder just where the others were. “Where are Amanda and the rest?” she asked as soon as the doctor was gone. Manson immediately got a shameful expression on his painted face.
    “I, uh, kinda left them behind in my rush to get to you. Kinda feel a bit like a jerk for that given the fact she’s the reason I’m here,” he explained, glowering at Johnny when he began to laugh.
    “Man, wouldn’t wanna be in your shoes. Mandy can have quite a temper,” the thespian teased, dark eyes glittering with inner mirth. Even Raven was giggling at his poor planning, covering her mouth in a poor effort to hide it.
    When Manson shot her a glare, she simply held up both hands in surrender; a smirk curling her lips. “Sorry, but Johnny has a point. Once she catches up to you, you’re pretty much dog food. It might be even worse than that, depending on what she had to do to help you,” she pointed out, outright laughing when her normally confident lover began to look a bit worried.
    “Uh... she threatened my manager with press exposure if he didn’t make a good excuse for my tour being cancelled early again,” he responded, only looking more apprehensive when Raven merely chuckled harder.
    “Oh boy... You’re in some trouble,” she cackled, the sight of her so happy doing both men some good. Especially with a lot of her bruises still fading away. In fact, the group shared a good laugh, the left over tension gradually fading away.
    Amanda huffed as she blew a stray curl out of her face. Surely they had to be getting close. It felt like they had been travelling for days. Looking up at Ginger as he held their son, she allowed a small smile to grace her face. While being a drummer for a rock band, he seemed to take to being a father quite naturally. Already, there was deep affection glowing in his dark eyes whenever he looked at Kyle. He hardly let the infant out of his sight and was eager to do his part to care for the child.
    Right now, he was busy humming some tune to help the babe sleep. Kyle had been unsettled by all the moving and had been too fussy to sleep. It was only Ginger’s efforts that helped him get any manner of rest at all. It honestly melted her heart, making her hopeful for what would happen if they decided to have another child Right now, Kyle was more than enough for the both of them. While mild mannered, the baby needed a lot of attention. Yet, she couldn’t await for the arrival of Raven’s own child.
    They could swap stories as well as advice, watching their children grow up together. In all honesty, with her luck, their kids would end up getting together. With the environment they were growing up in, it wouldn’t be impossible. Besides, it wouldn’t be like the two were blood related. Still, the thought made her shudder slightly. Whatever child came from Manson and Raven’s union was bound to be... interesting, to say the least. Not to mention the fact that the other woman was like her sister. It would be more than a little weird.
    Watching the scenery, Raven felt both relieved and apprehensive about going home. After a few hours, it was determined she was fine to be discharged. Unfortunately, that had been before Amanda could catch up to them. She could only hope the journalist was somehow waiting for them at Manson’s domicile instead. So, when she saw the tour bus in the driveway as they pulled up, she was utterly gobsmacked. Rushing out of the car as soon as it was going slow enough, the former artist was running toward her friend; the two women meeting in a hug.
    Johnny and Manson stood side by side, watching while Amanda introduced Raven to her son. Licking his lips as he swallowed, the thespian avoided the other man’s gaze; guilt overwhelming him. “Brian... I can’t tell you how sorry I am for what happened. If I hadn’t left...,” he began, only stopping when the rockstar swooped in to take his lips in a rough kiss. Licking the thespian’s lips briefly, he pulled away with a low growl that emanated from the bottom of his diaphragm.
    “Stop. Its no one’s fault. No one, but the people who attacked her. I never blamed you for a moment. Neither does she. Besides, Raven isn’t the only one I’ve missed while I was gone,” husked a baritone in his ear before the ‘God of Fuck’ was leaning down to nip his racing pulse.
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Long, Hard Road Out of Hell