Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

The Moon and the Sun	By : soleil Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Malice Mizer Views: 3160 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Malice Mizer. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
Chapter 17

“I will never forget the first time I saw you as long as I live.” Gackt started speaking in a low but soft voice as soon as they were back in the greenhouse and had sat down. “You were so fascinating and radiant, like no one else I had ever met before. I remember deciding at that very moment that I wanted to stay by your side, to become part of whatever it was that you were doing...” he halted his speech for a moment in dreamy remembrance of the day they had met, but forced himself to continue for he didn’t want Mana’s patience to wear thin.

“At first everything was wonderful and we became closer with every passing day while we were working on realizing what with time had become OUR dream and I was convinced that something deeper connected us: you and me.. those days..”

He cleared his voice and glanced up. Mana wasn’t even looking at him. With his face turned to the side and his eyes cast down, his features were completely unmoved, as if they were carved out of stone. Maybe it was easier this way. Gackt didn’t think that he would be able to continue speaking if those eyes were looking at him now that he was sure that the guitarist had equally deep feelings for him back then; and he had to tell him everything, he had to try to explain.

“And then we finally made it.. The success we worked so hard to achieve came suddenly along with tons of obligations. I couldn’t handle it. I had lost my connection to you somewhere along the way. You seemed so distant, everyone seemed distant suddenly. You were always with Közi, teaming up against the whole world -well, mostly me..” Gackt realized a little late that it was a mistake to start accusing Mana right now when he saw him go all tense, so he decided to skip that issue and continue more carefully.

“Yu~ki was always doing his Yu~ki-thing and only Kami was around to see me breaking down, although even he couldn’t understand me. I was left alone. It was as if we stood on the opposite sides of a river. At that time I needed you the most but I didn’t know how to reach you. When I couldn’t take it no more I decided to tell you that I was leaving the band, to finally see if you cared about me. I was desperately hoping that you would hold me back, that you would tell me how much you needed me and beg me not to leave. In my mind that was the only way to make things right.” He paused a little to emphasize on how much he himself had hurt by leaving, but the lack of reaction from Mana forced him to continue speaking. “I was hoping that you would show me that I meant something more to you than the face of your band.. But you didn’t..”

“So you are telling me that it was my fault then?” Mana spoke in a very quiet voice. “That I should have held you back? How could you expect me to do such a thing without giving me the right to?”

“I gave you the right every time I held you close, every time I kissed you but you never understood.” Gackt sighed not really knowing how to continue anymore, sensing that he was going nowhere with the dark-haired man.

“Do you remember that party after our last concert together?” Mana spoke after a long while in a dead tone, gathering all his self-control. “The party where Közi succeeded in sending that poor man to hospital for a few weeks?” he added waiting for Gackt to confirm with his nod that he remembered the evening he was talking about. “If I hadn’t behaved the next days like nothing had happened between us, and if I had approached you and offered you my body, would you still have left?”

There it was now out in the open, the question that had tortured Mana for more years that he cared to admit, and he hadn’t even been thinking consciously about asking Gackt that. It had just come out of his mouth on its own volition.

Gackt was shocked at Mana’s bluntness. It was true that he remembered that evening in every detail, and it was also true that what had happened between them and Mana’s coldness afterwards had been the final straw that made him go through with his decision to leave Mizer but how could he tell him that? It sounded terribly and horribly shallow now, when in truth it had been much more complicated than that.

Not waiting any longer for Gackt’s reply Mana murmured seemingly to himself: “This isn’t going anywhere.”

When he started to get up Gackt suddenly moved forward pushing Mana on the ground and covering his body with his own. With a swift motion he captured the hands that had come instinctively up to push at him and raised them above Mana’s head to secure them there with one of his own. Everything happened so fast that Mana could only gasp while Gackt attached his mouth to his throat spreading bruising kisses not bothering with any finesse while doing so.

“Do you really think that it’s just as simple as that?” Gackt sneered while worming his hips between Mana’s legs. His free hand was undoing the buttons on Mana’s shirt and as soon as the pale and soft chest was exposed he attacked it with his lips searching for the places on Mana’s skin that would make the man shiver under his touch.

Mana didn’t respond at first too shocked by Gackt’s sudden onslaught. Everything that Gackt was doing should feel like rape right now, he should be yelling at him to stop while telling him how shallow he is but instead he found himself instantly getting almost violently aroused by the actions of the other man. He started to moan when Gackt felt the swelling in his groan and moved against his pelvis rubbing them together in a demanding and rather forceful manner.

Mana knew that he shouldn’t be as turned on as he suddenly was but he couldn’t help it. Instincts took control and before he knew it he was trying desperately to get his hands out of Gackt’s hold, not to free himself from the other man but to be able to touch him, pull him near and get closer to him. He wanted more. He started pushing his hips up in rhythm into Gackt’s, wishing desperately for more friction and more contact. Gackt released his hands and wrapped his own around Mana’s waste pulling him up while he settled onto his knees and into a sitting position with Mana straddling him. The dark-haired man embraced him firmly with his thighs and arms and squirmed on his body while his lips connected with Gackt’s in a searing but progressively softening kiss.

The aggression and hastiness in Gackt’s touches slowly disappeared to the point where their kiss became soft and tender and Gackt’s fingers circled softly and lazily an imaginary spot on Mana’s spine.

“This attraction between us,” Gackt said trying hard to control his ragged breathing and his rapidly beating heart “is one of a kind. Not just sex. Every time I touch you, I can feel you in my guts, in my heart in my soul. I can see that you feel it too. It has always been and it will probably always be like that, if the years and the grudge between us couldn’t erase it by now.” He had managed to calm down and spoke now in a softer voice while his hand took up stroking Mana’s back. Mana had also stopped moving but when Gackt tried to loosen his firm hold on him to move backwards and see his face, Mana’s grip became more firm as he refused to move. Gackt had to smile at Mana’s behavior and his heart was overfilled with tenderness for the other men at this unconscious childishly display of affection. This was the man he had missed, this was his Mana.

“If you’d have offered me your body back then, maybe I wouldn’t have left as early as I did, but I think that eventually I would have. I had things to learn and understand about myself first before I would be able to comprehend what it was that connected us. We are so different Mana –we clash, as you like to put it, it’s true, but that’s because we match each other so perfectly, we were made for one another –the different sides of the same coin. .And maybe that’s why we have so many difficulties in communicating with each other... But I know that I won’t ever meet someone that will cause in me as much as you do.” He sighed and raised one of his hands to run his fingers through Mana’s tangled hair.

“I wanted you so much that it hurt me, but it was not the only thing I wanted from you, so I left. You will probably never admit it but I know you felt the same way too and that’s why you never came to me. Don’t make it seem shallow now, reducing it to just the sex.” Gackt kissed Mana’s hair and felt his hold grow even tighter.

“I loved you.” Mana said in a whisper so low, as if he hoped his words wouldn’t be heard. “Hai, I know now.” Gackt whispered back in the same manner. “That’s why this time we will make this work.”
- 17
- 18
- 19
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Moon and the Sun