Freak | By : EmilyRose Category: My Chemical Romance > Slash - Male/Male Views: 3918 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Narrator’s POV.
Of course they all knew that summer had to come to an end. After all, it couldn’t last forever, since nothing ever does. Frank had managed to get a job at a record store, the only place where they tolerated his piercings and tattoos. He had literary been stopped from moving out from the Way house by all members of the family. Frank had thought he could no longer live off them, it made him feel guilty. But Gerard had cried, Mikey had argued, and Donna had grabbed his ear. Frank couldn’t leave after that, they convinced him that it was where he belonged.
Mikey had been let go from his old job, and had been forced to start working at McDonalds, something that Frank teased him about whenever he could since he knew how much Mikey hated the smell of hamburgers. Donna was no longer swamped in work, since Frank had promised to help pay for food (he felt it was the right thing to do) and that meant Donna only needed one job. Gerard… Gerard had decided to go back to seeing his therapist once a week, and to take medication against his depression again. Gerard was willing to do anything to make his relationship with Frank work.
Frank of course, would never leave Gerard even though the latter sometimes threw things around, or screamed at him. It didn’t matter, Frank knew why Gerard did it, and he always cried afterwards, completely ashamed of himself. Frank always told him it was alright, that he wasn‘t angry. But Gerard wanted to be normal, well, as normal as he could be. He wanted Frank to have a real relationship with him, because Gerard was tired. After 6 weeks of being Frank’s boyfriend, he was tired of the innocent kisses they still shared. He loved them, but he wanted something more. He had read a book in secret for the past three weeks, a book about gay sex and relationships.
Frank didn’t know it, but Gerard was secretly preparing himself for sex. He couldn’t talk to Mikey or his mum about it, so instead he buried his face in the book whenever he could. He hid in his room at night and read, he hid in the downstairs closet and read, and he even brought the book into the bathroom when he took a bath. He had read it many times, but there was still some things that was hard for him to understand. Firstly, Gerard had thought that Frank would teach him about sex, but after six weeks of nothing but innocent kisses Gerard took the matter in own hands. If Frank wouldn’t even make out with him, he would have to teach himself.
The book had taught him about stretching, about lube, about giving/receiving blow jobs. Gerard read it, but he still didn’t quite understand. From what the book said, having sex was supposed to be really pleasurable, but from his own experience it hurt - a lot. When he had finished reading the book for the sixth time, he decided to look on the internet. And that’s where we join him, August 19th, sitting by the family computer, home alone (his mum, brother and boyfriend had gone out to do some grocery shopping at the store just around the corner), determined to find information on a specific subject. No, Gerard didn‘t Google for ‘gay sex‘, Gerard searched for the word ‘rape’. He himself, didn’t know what that meant, but that was the word Frank had used when they talked about Cameron. Gerard wanted to know what it meant, he wanted to know what had really happened to him, because he didn’t want to be afraid of sex. He wanted to experience the fireworks that the sex book told him about, and he wanted to experience it with Frank.
It took Gerard a bit to find any real information, since the word ‘rape’ gave him so many hits. Of course all he could find was stories about women being raped, so he figured he’d have to try something else. When he typed in ‘gay rape’ Gerard found what he was looking for right away.
“Men are victims of rape as well.”
It scared him, it scared Gerard a lot. He eagerly kept reading, determined to find out what had really happened to him.
“Have you been raped? Ask yourself:
Was I forced or coerced into having sex against my will?
Was I threatened unless I performed sexual acts?
Was I drugged, then forced to have sex?
Was I forced to have sex after drinking?
Did he continue to have sex with me or perform sexual acts after I said 'no'?
You've been a victim of gay rape if you answered yes to any of these questions.”
Gerard could no longer hold his tears back, and his vision became clouded as tears started welling up. He placed a hand over his mouth to keep from screaming out loud. So that’s what rape was. Rape was when someone forced you to have sex, when you didn’t want to. Just like Cameron had done.
Gerard rubbed his eyes vigorously, determined to keep reading, even though he found it difficult to breathe due to the panic attack that was creeping closer and closer with each word he read.
“If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, urge these following steps:
Call the police immediately.
If you are in a dangerous situation or at home with your partner who's just raped you, try and run to a safe place then call the police. Call a trusted friend to be by your side. Even if you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable talking about the act or disclosing your sexuality, know that your safety and getting help is more important than any discomfort coming out to strangers.”
“I was supposed to get help.” Gerard whispered mortified. He was supposed to ask someone to call the police. He was supposed to get help, “Call the police immediately.” And now it was too late, it had been years, what could he do now?
Gerard was still crying, and still reading about the subject, when his mother, brother and boyfriend came home an hour later. From the front door, they could see Gerard where he was sitting, and they all stopped dead in their tracks when they saw the broken, crying boy in front of the computer. Gerard turned his head towards them and gave them a dead stare.
“I was supposed to get help.” He said, his voice hoarse from crying. They still just looked at him, all three of them too surprised to say anything. “Mommy, Cameron raped me when I was fourteen.”
Donna Way dropped what was in her arms and ran for her oldest son. Her oldest son, who looked so lost, so hurt, and so dead. Her oldest son, who just admitted to have been raped when he was only 14 years old.
“Oh my baby, my baby.” She cried over and over as she threw her arms around him and wept. Mikey fell to the floor where he was, and Frank had to hold his hair back as he emptied the content of his stomach on the hall floor. Suddenly everything fell into place in Mikey’s head. Finally he knew why just after turning 14 Gerard refused to see Cameron anymore. Mikey’s world came crashing down around him.
-
I cried when I wrote this chapter, and I did really Google 'gay rape'. The quotes I used are from:
http://gaylife.about.com/od/headlinesnewsstories/a/gayrape.htm
I give them full credit for everything written in italics..
I spent loads of time to read up on the subject and I have also read everything on that page.
I hope you like this chapter, and keep on reviewing, there will be more soon, aight?
Love and such!
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