Without You I'm Nothing (Chapter 39 up now!) | By : urbanephoenix Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Placebo Views: 5829 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction! I do not know any members of Placebo or their families, and I do not profit from these writings. |
Just wanted to say that comments like this "This chapter was like bad sex.... in the sense that it left me unsatisfied.. LMFAO" make me happier than... I dunno... good sex, coffee and icecream XD
Thanks so much for comments on last chapter, I think I achieved my goal =p
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STEFAN.
It had been two weeks since Courtney had left. Stef’s stitches had been removed, but the permanent scar now carved into his torso was a constant reminder of what had happened, and what was now lost. It had been difficult to hide the events of those few traumatic days from his family, but thankfully the blonde’s parents weren’t too interested in what he got up to. Even his father’s constant nagging had been absent.
Stefan had been living almost as hermit. Not going to school, his only contact with the outside world was the late night calls from Los Angeles, keeping him up until the early hours of the morning. Courtney had said he didn’t mind what Stef did while he was away, but he wasn’t sure that was such a good idea, or what he truly wanted.
***
It was eight thirty Monday morning. The first day back at school in two weeks. Stef wasn’t looking forward to it. Nobody but Brian, not even his own parents, knew truly why he’d been absent so long but the blonde knew he had to go back, if for no other reason than his absence was holding his partner back from getting anywhere with their music assignment. There were only three weeks until the Autumn break. It would be ok.
Taking a deep breath, he opened the home room door, greeted by two dozen pairs of eyes following him to the back of the room. Only Brian smiled.
“Stefan? Ooh how nice of you to join us!” Mrs. Provis exclaimed, far more excited than anybody else looked. “Where have you been?”
Stef shuffled in his seat, not wanting to answer. “Uh, I was sick…”
“Yeah, Fag Fever.” Ryan snickered.
Oh great, Stef had forgotten about that.
The bell rang and a flood of students headed for the door. Stef clutched his middle as someone, accidently or on purpose, he wasn’t sure, elbowed him in the stomach.
“Here,” Brian smiled, shoving a piece of paper under Stef’s nose. “new timetable.”
“Thanks.” Oh fantastic, gym first.
“A… are you ok? I haven’t even heard from you since… all that.”
“I’m fine, just-“
“You know what your problem is?” the black haired boy interrupted. “you’ve shut yourself away. You’ve spent two weeks doing nothing but dwelling on everything that happened, and sulking about Courtney being in America.”
He was right.
“Come over after school. We can do that music project we’ve neglected for the past month. And, if nothing else, it’ll get you out of your bedroom!”
Stef smiled. They had just over two weeks before they had to present their assignment and they’d done next to nothing. “Sure, sounds like a good idea. Maybe we should actually DO work this time. Just to shake things up a bit.” Every time they’d attempted doing work in the past they’d ended up either fighting or having sex. Not a good record.
“Tell you what, for every song we write I’ll remove an item of clothing.” Brian laughed, pushing open the changeroom door.
Was he kidding? “I uh…”
“Hey, it’s little miss poofta!” A voice echoed. Matt had his bag over his shoulder and on his way out. Ryan eyed Brian and Stef suspiciously, Craig smirked.
“Just drop it!” Stef sighed, pushing past them.
“Oi, Stef we wanted to talk to you.”
“What!? I don’t care if you don’t like me because I’m… doesn’t matter, I don’t care.”
Matt went after him. “No, nothing like that. We were talking about it and, it doesn’t matter.”
Stef looked up, surprised. “Huh?”
“You’ve been our friend for ages,” Craig added. “usually we’d be a little… iffy, but we know you’re a good guy. As long as you don’t get all fruity and start wearing a dress, you can still hang with us.”
This wasn’t the reaction Stefan had been expecting, especially after home group and the reaction he’d gotten when he first came out to his school friends. No, it was too late now. “No, you guys-“
“Do it!” Brian hissed, kicking him in the back of the leg.
“Uh, I’ll be right out.”
The three boys walked out, leaving Brian and Stef alone in the big, concrete room.
BRIAN.
He didn’t want it to be this way, but Stef’s happiness was the most important thing. Brian owed him that at least.
“What the hell?” the blonde asked, once they were alone.
“Don’t fight it, Stef. Just… I know how important those jerks are to you. Well their companionship anyway.”
“But they ditched me! They hate you, they’re-“
Brian had heard this all before. “I know! You know! Look, you need these guys or else you’ll sink further into this hole you’ve dug yourself. The only people you’ll ever socialise with will be me and your family- which will eventually drive you insane. Just go for it.”
“That is ridiculous reasoning.” Stef told him bluntly. “Besides, I don’t want to leave you.”
Oh God, why was he such a pain? Grabbing Stef by the back of his head, Brian pulled him down and kissed him softly, savouring that taste he’d missed so much. “Don’t you worry about me.” He smiled.
***
The rest of the day was more or less a blur. Brian had absorbed little of his classes and spent his lunch break alone as usual, walking around the oval, apple in hand.
At the end of the day, Stef showed up like they’d agreed. During his two week absence, Brian had written dozens more songs and put most of them to music, but he didn’t want to take all creative freedom from his partner. Especially not one so talented.
“OK, can we aim to get three done today?” Brian asked, throwing down his school bag in the corner of his room.
“Alright, let’s see them,” the blonde replied, collapsing on the bed. “knowing you you’ve written millions of songs.”
Brian smiled and handed over his precious pages, covered in words that were so personal.
Stef read them all through quickly. “Brian, these are … beautiful. Where do you get this stuff!?” he asked in amazement.
“I’ve had a lot to write about recently,” the black haired boy shrugged. “now, get playing.” He passed the guitar over to Stefan, hoping they could reach their target for a change.
“Fine, but what are you going to take off first?” the taller boy laughed.
Brian was surprised at his forwardness. “Oh, I see how it is.” He smiled. “Well, whatever it takes to get you motivated.”
“N.. no I was kidding.” Stef blushed.
“I wasn’t. Now get cracking!” Brian ordered, removing his blazer.
Two and a half songs later, it was clearly working. He was down to his underwear but Brian didn’t mind. How had he lost so many items of clothing so fast? That wasn’t the deal was it? Oh well, they were getting work done, and his increasing nakedness was having more than one positive effect on his friend.
Stef was lovely to watch on guitar. He was such a natural, working his fingers up the neck, frowning as he concentrated. “Ok, I think I’ve worked it out. Take this,” he shoved one of Brian’s pieces of paper titled “Bionic” into his hands. “sing along, see if it fits.”
It did, as Brian knew it would. It was perfect. “I can’t believe we finished three whole songs!” he smiled, feeling relieved. They still needed another seven but it was a start. “Do you want your reward?”
Stefan looked away, embarrassed, as he so often did. “I… don’t know.”
He had expected this. Slowly moving across the bed Brian let his lips run softly across Stef’s cheek, finishing upon his mouth.
STEFAN.
He had missed Brian. Not just seeing him, but feeling him. He was so soft and delicate and made Stef feel so special. The blonde kissed him back letting his tongue slip slowly inside the smaller boy’s mouth. They struggled for a moment, fighting for dominance until Brian pushed his whole body on top of Stef’s, forcing him on his back.
The black haired boy ran his hands down the blonde’s chest, pulling his arms out above his head. He held them there, restricting Stef’s movements. No, it was wrong. He couldn’t move. Why couldn’t he move? He had to get away. It was happening all over again.
“NO! STOP! NO! NO!” Stefan screamed, making Brian jump and scramble to the end of the bed. He looked at his friend wide-eyed and shaking.
“Wh… Stef, what’s wrong?!”
“NO! DON’T!” He couldn’t let it happen again. He didn’t want to be hurt. “Stay away from me!”
“Stefan, it’s me. Brian! I’m not going to hurt you.” Brian pleaded, slowly re-approaching his friend.
Stef pushed himself back, cowering in the corner. “No. You want to hurt me!” All he could see was that boy hurting him. Holding him down, cutting him, beating him. “I don’t want you to hurt me! Please!” he cried.
Brian too had tears in his eyes. “Stef, I would never hurt you! I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have held your arms. It’s ok, I won’t hurt you.”
"Yes you would! You want to hurt me again. I won't let you!" he lashed out, almost hitting Brian in the head. "STOP IT!"
"It's ok... it's ok..." Brian said calmly, standing up. "I'm your friend."
Stefan couldn't stop crying. All he could think about was the pain, and how he couldn't take it again. "Please, leave me alone!" he sobbed, crawling into a ball, his long arms covering his head. "I... I... don't..."
"Stefan! It's Brian, I've never hurt you. I love you, remember?"
He was suspicious, but slowly, the blonde sat up, looking his friend in the eye. No, Brian was good. He would never hurt him, would he?
BRIAN.
Brian didn’t know what to do. He knew he should take it slow with Stef, but he hadn’t expected this. Wiping away the tears, he pulled his clothes back on, watching his friend out the corner of his eye. He hadn’t moved from the bed. He still sat there, crying and shaking.
“Stef?” Brian took a step towards the bed, making the blonde tense up. “It’s ok. I won’t hurt you and I won’t let anyone else hurt you, ok? We’re friends, remember?”
Without saying a word, Stefan got up off the bed. He grabbed his school bag, and ran out of the room.
‘Oh no,’ Brian thought to himself. ‘what have I done now?’
***
It was almost time for music class to start, and Stef still wasn’t there. Brian hadn’t seen him in home group either and was starting to worry.
Thankfully, just as the class was starting, the blonde ran into the room.
“Sorry I’m late!” he smiled. “Forgot half my books this morning, had to go back and get them.”
Brian was surprised by his friend’s upbeat attitude. “You alright?”
Stef shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I be? We got lots of work done yesterday after all.”
“You know what I’m talking about…” the black haired boy frowned.
“Uuh do I?”
What was going on? “Do you remember what else happened at my place yesterday?”
Stefan frowned. “No, we just did work, didn’t we?”
This was getting complicated.
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A/N: Also, for the record, nobody guessed what was going to happen, I just decided to change it becase of... other things people said (which will remain a secret in case I use it later) =D
Comments, thoughts, criticism, abuse, love, hate etc all appreciated =)(ok maybe not abuse but feel free to correct me/put me in my place =p)
Also, thanks to everyone for getting me over 500 hits! That's amazing, never thought I'd write something that people would WANT to read lol.
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