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Feeling that Way	By : KayleighSiobhan Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Journey Views: 5125 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not know any of the members of Journey. This story is completely a work of fiction. There is no truth to it. I make NO money from this story.

Chapter List
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When Greg opened his eyes the next morning it was still grey and wet. As usual Steve was pressed up against his body. There had been no more phone calls but Greg was still on edge. He had sat up late last night allowing Steve to just doze on the big couch. Finally around 2 AM he had woke Steve and led the singer, still half asleep to the bathroom and then helped him down in the bed. Now he kissed Steve gently then started to try to shake him awake without scaring him. It was difficult for Steve’s fear and uneasiness penetrated even into his sleep. Steve began to stir at that minute though and whimpered. “It is alright baby” Greg gently touched his face. “God,” he thought Steve was burning up.” Steve opened his eyes and shivered hard. “ I am cold Greg “ I know baby, let me get the thermometer. He slipped out of the bed and when the covers were lifted up exposing Steve to the air, he began to shake hard. “I will be right back,” Greg told him, “I will bring an extra blanket.” Greg went to get the thermometer out of the bathroom just as Neal came out out of his room. Before Neal could speak, he blurted out "Steve is really sick, he is running a fever. I am going to call Aaron and see if Liz can come by and see him. “ He grabbed the blanket out of the linen closet and went back into the bedroom. Neal followed him into the room, “Give me Aaron’s number I will call. “ It is one the fridge ,” Greg told him laying the extra blanket over Steve. Neal stroked Steve’s hair back from his forehead, and said “ Hey hon how are you doing ?” Steve said "My belly hurts and my lower back." Before the he could say anything further, Greg popped the thermometer in his mouth. “ I need some orange juice and some aspirin for him, could you get a hold of Aaron and then bring them up to me.” “Sure Neal”, said dashing down the steps. He was worried about Steve but something else he seen in the bedroom freaked him out a little. The look in Greg’s eyes when Neal had touched Steve. It took him a minute to figure out what it was. Then he recognized it.... fear.
Before Neal could analyze what Greg was afraid of, he thought he better call Aaron. He dialed the number, hoping he was not waking him. Aaron had been so generous and thoughtful to Steve and Greg. He had done everything he could to help them through this difficult time. Aaron picked up the phone almost immediately and inquired about how Steve was doing. Neal told Aaron about Steve’s fever and Greg’s request.
Aaron said “ Liz is actually at the hospital Why don’t I have Mark come over, we can be there in about an a hour. He really likes Steve, He appreciated it when he did those autographs for Mark’s baby sister. I am sure he won’t mind helping out.” Hold on for a minute. The line was silent while the Aaron conferred with his partner. Then he was back on saying “ He would be glad to check on Steve, he said he may need his antibiotic changed. “ Neal thanked him and hung up quickly getting the meds and drink for Steve.
He went up stairs and told Greg what had transpired. Greg was just grateful anyone could come see Steve. The last thing emotionally fragile singer needed was a trip back to the hospital to have to be touched by more strangers.
It didn’t take long for Aaron and Mark to arrive. Neal cooked breakfast but Greg declined saying he would eat after Mark checked on Steve. When the two men got to the house Neal let them in and introduced Steve’s mother to them both. Aaron hugged Mary and she once again profusely thanked him for the help in her son’s rescue. She was pleased to meet Mark as well who also embraced the tiny woman. He teased her, making her smile, by saying he could see where Steve got his stunning good looks from.
When Mark came upstairs, Greg was sitting on the side of the bed, while Steve lightly dozed . Greg had gotten 2 cup of juice in him and after that Steve begged to just be able to go back to sleep. So Steve was on his side trying to rest, still clutching at Greg’s hand.
Steve had his eyes closed and was trying to rest when a voice suddenly brought him out of his reprieve. He knew that voice from somewhere, from where, then he opened his own eyes to stare in the coldest dark eyes he had ever seen. He didn’t know his face but those eyes. And he knew the voice. No it couldn’t be, not him, not again. Steve let out a low moan “No”
Mark leaned over the bed and said “ It’s alright Steve, I am just going to exam you. Greg can sit in and hold your hand if you want. “ No, no, don’t touch me, don’t put your hands on me, Greg please don’t let him. “ Steve, “ Greg admonished him. “You need to relax, Mark wants to help you, you don’t want to have to go back to the hospital. “ Not him, not him,” Steve wailed. Steve whimpered as Greg removed his pants leaving him exposed to those cold eyes again. Tears were gushing out of Steve eyes as Mark gently probed his lower abdomen. “It is alright, Neal said your belly was hurting really bad. I am not trying to hurt you. “ Steve was still bruised and sore but he struggled to close his legs. “Why was Greg letting this man see him like this, why wasn’t he stopping him. “ Suddenly he heard Mark say “ Turn him on his side.” Steve screamed as he felt a finger go up inside him” It was excruciatingly painful and he was being violated in a whole new way. This guy was molesting him under the guise of a medical procedure. Couldn’t Greg see it. Why didn’t anyone believe him. The man was probing into Steve just like he did when he forced him to ejaculate then laughed at his inabitiy to control himself. Steve wailed,“Please make him stop, he is going to rape me. “ Greg was at his wit’s end, the last several days had drained all his emotional resources. So then he did something unbelievably cruel, he snapped at Steve, “ “For God’s sake Steve stop it. You didn’t act like this when Liz examined you. You need to be grateful people have been so helpful.” Steve was struck mute at Greg’s words , he didn’t speak again as his rapist probed deep into the swollen painful gland. Time seemed to stop as it seemed as if the man’s hard on was in his body again. From what seemed like a million miles away he heard his rapist speak. “Greg it is alright”, Mark said, “ Steve’s a rape victim., I am man and pretty much a stranger. It is going to be frightening for him. I know he doesn’t mean what he is saying. Steve felt the rubber gloved digit finally come out of his body and he lay still, sobbing. “ Alright” Mark said, “ I am going to give him antibiotic shot and one for pain. I also have some pills for him, they are rough on the stomach so he won’t be eating as much. But push fluids and Tylenol to keep his fever down. The bacteria got into his prostate we will have to bring out the big guns to treat it. But he should feel better in a few days. I will write for a stronger pain killer also. “ He went into the bathroom to wash his hands and said “I will get the shots ready. " “What do we owe you ? Greg asked
Mark smiled “When little one here get’s back on his feet, how about tickets to your Madison Square Garden concert. Greg smiled remembering Mark was originally from New York. He said “ Don’t think we command that kind of arena. “You will” Mark said, “with Steve’s voice’s”, you guys are going to be huge. .. but seriously you don’t owe me anything. Just get Steve well, and take good care of him, he really is a treasure. “ Mark fixed the two shots and administered them both.. Steve didn’t flinch or speak.. it was as if his mind had went to some other place. Greg leaned over and kissed Steve gently “ I am sorry baby, I didn’t mean to yell at you. Neal will sit with you a few minutes while I go talk to Aaron and Mark some more. Neal had been pacing in the hallway listening to Steve’s pitiful crying. It tore at his heart and at this point he just wanted to hold Steve and comfort him. The minute the door opened he did not even give Greg a chance to speak. He just rushed inside. Greg shook his head and followed Aaron downstairs.

Steve had the covers tightly wrapped around him. Neal said “ “Is there anything I can do for you Steve ? “ He owns me. .. "What is that Steve? " He said he’d be back and that he owns me. It is true. “ Steve whispered. "Steve it is alright, you are safe here." Steve turned over and stared at him blankly “ I am not safe anywhere” Neal watched Steve for minute then reached out and touched the back of his head. He had never touched Steve’s hair before, not on on purpose, though he had frequently watched Greg play with it. Now he ran his hand gently through Steve’s hair then continued down his back. Amazingly the singer didn’t flinch. I can rub your back for you, maybe it will help you relax. Steve said, “Go ahead, it hurts low down.” Neal helped Steve get in a comfortable positon, then proceeded to give him a gentle massage that help soothe his tense muscles. Neal talked softly to him just about small casual things and it didn’t take long for Steve to fall back asleep. Neal sat next to Steve not wanting him to wake up alone. He really wouldn’t have minding holding Steve while he slept but he knew it was not his place. He was surprised though when the image of sleeping in the same bed as Steve, snuggled close together made him feel warm and content.
Downstairs Greg again apologized to Mark about what happened. But Mark reassured him that it was not a big deal. "Gregg I understand how frightened Steve is, he can’t identify his attacker. He feels very vunerable. Everyone is going to have to be very patient with him. I would recommend though getting him to counseling. After all you will want to rekindle your relationship. And considering that Steve's first encounter with actual penetration by a male was brutal and forced, it could really damage his view of gay sex. Some therapy would help him put things in proper perspective." Greg thanked him again and got a warm friendly hug from Aaron. Mark said " Now I am going to take my best guy here for lunch at Vesuvio's.I heard Steve really enjoys their cannoli." Greg chuckled remembering how Steve had teased the keyboardist with the pastry. Then he quickly sobered remembering how that romantic afternoon had ended. He shook Mark's hand and wished them a good day.Right now he really wanted to get back to Steve.
He came into the bedroom to find the singer had fallen back asleep. Neal said " I am going to go downstairs and keep Mary company." Greg said " Maybe you could run down to the pharmacy later and fill Steve's new prescriptions." "Sure," Neal agreed, anything to help." Greg was quiet a minute then said "You know I am suprised that Mark knew that Steve and I had not "consumated" for lack of a better word, our relationship. I mean I talked to Aaron about it a lot, but I didn't think he would share intimate details about it." Neal thought about it for a minute then said "Well he and Mark have been together a long time, they probably share pretty much everything, especially knowing Mark was coming to examine Steve. Aaron probably thought he needed to know everything he could about the situation. " Greg sighed "Yeah you are probably right. And the crazy way Steve reacted I am so glad we didn't have to take him to the hospital. I would have hated to have him around any true strangers." Neal said," Why don't you go relax and sit with him and I will bring you up something to eat.Then I will visit with Mary,update her on what is happening,before I run to the pharmacy. In fact I will stop at the grocery store too,and pick up a few things. With so many different people here over the past few days,we are running low on some things. Aaron only stocked for two people before this happened. "I am hungry," Greg said." Thanks for everything, he
said. You are an incredible friend to me and Steve both." Neal smiled but he couldn't help but think, would you consider me a friend if you knew I just invisioned myself lying in bed holding your boyfriend. He didn't verbalize the thought though, instead he quickly bounded downstairs.
Steve slept for most of the day under the influence of the drug Mark gave him. Greg pretty much sat in the room, not willing to stir far. Mary cooked and Neal brought him a late breakfast and lunch. When he finally did awaken Greg fixed him a light meal, hoping he could eat it. Steve didn’t show much interest in the food but did drink all the liquids which Greg was relieved about. Steve was not as feverish as he was the morning. But even with a clearer head Steve was steadfast about what he said about Mark.
“He raped me Greg” Steve said dully. “ No baby he was just was examing you… I know it must have hurt pretty bad but he didn’t do anything wrong. “ Greg, he was the one who kidnapped me, and raped me," Steve insisted," I knew right away when I heard his voice, when I seen his eyes, that he was the one. I recognized him. Of course you recognized him honey, a few months back you signed a pile of photos for him, for his sister and her college roommates. He was very gracious and you spent a lot of time with him. That is why you know him. Just the stress, and all the medication and now this fever, you are going to be confused sometimes.”
Steve didn’t know how to answer that. Mark’s eyes, the voice, his hands, the way he touched Steve. It all felt familiar, too familiar, so what was happening. Steve couldn’t trust his own mind, then what could he do. Was this what the rest of Steve’s life was going to be like. What would happen when Greg tried to make love to him ?
Steve didn’t talk anymore as Greg helped him get washed up and changed into fresh clothes. Mary changed the bedsheets and got the room comfortable. All Steve wanted to do at that point was go back to sleep. He took more antibiotics and a Valium and just hoped to slip quickly into slumber.
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Feeling that Way