Platonic Benevolence

Chapter Eighteen ~ In the Closet

 

 

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I had taken refuge underneath a bed in one of the spare bedrooms. Michael had looked all around the first bedroom, not finding me.

“Crystal, where are you?” Michael asked, in a sing-song voice. I saw his bare feet in the hallway entering the bathroom and I knew it would only be moments before he would discover me. So I stealthily began to make my way out from underneath the bed. The closet was right behind the bed. I got out from underneath the bed and went to the closet. The room was still dark and I opened the door and slipped in. Closing the door was a different story, as I closed the door, it squeaked. As the latch engaged, the lights came on in the bedroom.

“Crystal, I know you’re in here.” I heard Michael’s voice ring. I crawled into the back corner behind some clothes that were hanging. I held my breath and closed my eyes. The light came in the closet then moments later it was shut off. My eyes continued to be shut until I heard the door close. I let out a breath. A hand grabbed my foot and began to drag me out of my hiding spot. I let out a scream as I clawed at the carpet to slow myself down. Michael climbed on top of me his hand automatically touching my womanhood. I let out a moan of surprise.  Michael pinned me to the floor. His lips crashed upon mine in a fiery kiss. He pulled away.

“I’m really going to miss those kisses when you’re gone.”  Michael whispered breathlessly. A small smile curved my lips.

“You’ve only known me for three days Michael…” ‘Three days…wow you’re a slut Crystal, giving yourself away the second day you know him.’ A voice taunted me. ‘Jason cheated on me what the hell was I supposed to do.’ I retorted. ‘Not sleep with him. His life would be so much better without you in his life.’  ‘You don’t think I know that. Shut up already.’

“I know, but still, I’m going to miss you.”

“Michael…this doesn’t bother you at all?” I asked, I was still pinned to the floor, with Michael still on top of me.

“Does what bother me?”

“Just the fact that we fell for each other so quickly. Or the fact that we…” ‘Don’t say fucked.’ “…made love within two days of knowing each other.”

“Crystal, do I have to go through this again?” Michael asked, letting out a breath of exasperation.

“Yes, because I keep feeling like a slut for giving myself away to you so quickly.” One of his hands let go of my wrists and came to cup my face in his hands.

“Crystal, don’t think of it that way. To me, that’s so degrading. You’re one of the best things that happened to me in a while. You’re like a drug to me, Crystal.” Michael said, as his other hand came up to hold my hand. His fingers interlacing with mine. “Please, please, I am begging you, don’t go back to Jason. You don’t deserve that kind of a life. If you go back to him he’ll think that it’ll be okay for him to cheat on you over and over again. I don’t want to see you get hurt again.” Michael said burying his face into my neck as he began to cry fresh tears.

“Michael, do you really love me? I mean I love you, but then again I’ve loved you since I was a little kid…are you sure that your not just clinging to me because you’re lonely…”

“Crystal…stop. I am sure that this is love. You are not someone that I fuck for a week then dispose of. I’m not like that. I made love to you that night because I thought that’s what you wanted. I wanted you to forget about Jason just for that one night. If you want space then…” My lips crashed upon his in a ferocious kiss.

“No, I don’t want space. I want you Michael. I’m just so scared, I don’t know what to tell Jason. I mean hopping in bed with a mega-celebrity isn’t exactly me, you know. I’m shocked at myself still that I even did it. It was what I wanted, but I’m not sure that I’m ready for this whole lifestyle of being watched 24/7 and being in tabloids, and not being able to do what I want when I want to do it…” Michael got up off of me and sat with his back against the wall. I had gotten up and looked over at him. By now my eyes had adjusted to the dark closet so that I could see Michael’s short sleeved shirt, which was different for me because I always saw him wear long sleeves no matter what the weather.

“If you want me to leave you alone, I can. I wouldn’t want to subject anyone to my life either…” This made me upset because he wasn’t getting my point.

“Michael, I’m not saying that I don’t want to be with you. I do! I need time to get adjusted to not punching photographers and the paparazzi out because they are invading my space. You know?” Michael laughed.

“You want to know how many I’ve wanted to do that? Usually I just flip them off. That’s acceptable. They get that a lot.” Michael said, looking at me. I however was on the brink of tears. Michael knew that I was thinking about something big. Michael crawled over to me, and held me in his embrace.

“How am I to know that you won’t do what Jason did to me? My heart is completely crushed that he would do that to me. I loved him, I thought he would never hurt me. How can I make sure that you won’t hurt me like that? I’m in love with you Michael but how can I make sure…”

“You need to trust me, I would never…”

“Jason said that to me too when we were dating and look at what happened…” Michael held on to me tighter.

“I feel so safe with you, right here in your embrace. I want to give myself fully to you but…”

“Crystal, fall.”

“What?” I asked, taken aback at what Michael said.

“Don’t be afraid to fall in love…I love you with all of me. I would only want you to do the same.” I smiled and gave him a kiss. We stayed in the closet for a while, holding each other the only noise we could hear were the beating of our two hearts. In my head, formulated lyrics to a song.

“Michael?”

“Hm?” Michael responded.

“I need to write down some lyrics before I forget them.”

“Do you need to plunk out a melody?” Michael asked as he let me go and got up.

“Huh? I didn’t see a piano anywhere.” I said looking at Michael.

“I have a baby grand in my attic…oh that’s right, you haven’t been up there yet.”

“Why do you have a piano in your attic? That’s the worst place for a piano.” I said, getting up and following Michael out of the closet. The light in the bedroom blinded the both of us. Michael climbed over the bed and turned off the light. We both exited the room and Michael pulled on a string that hung about two feet over his head. I hadn’t noticed it before.

“This house is full of surprises.” I said looking at Michael. Another question came to my mind. “How the hell did you get a baby grand into the attic?” As Michael pulled down the stairs to the attic.

“You’ll see.” Michael said, as he held his hand out for me to go first. “Ladies first.”

“You know, this reminds me of the house we had in Orlando.”

“Florida?”

“Yeah, oh I didn’t tell you did I? I was born in Florida.”

“Really?” I nodded, as I began to make my way up the small, narrow, wood steps to the attic.

“Yeah, it had a set-up like this, but instead of baby grands, we had dead cockroaches and polmeda bugs all over our boxes and everything.”

“Ew!” Michael said shaking his head at the picture he had created in his head. I got to the top of the stairs and my jaw dropped.

“Whoa.” I said, looking around the attic to find a baby grand, an electronic drum set, an acoustic guitar and a corner fitting couch. On the left wall, facing outside was a double door balcony which I had seen when we arrived at his house. “I see how you got the baby grand up here.” I said, nodding toward the balcony.”

“Told you.” Michael said, as he stood beside me. “This is my private haven.” Michael added his eye meeting mine. A smile curved my lips as I walked over to his baby grand and began playing some random chords.

“Ooh…it’s in tune.” I said, surprised. My playing became more elaborate as I enjoyed the sound of the resonance that the piano created. I found myself playing “Earth Song.” Michael gave out a laugh.

“I recognize that one.” Michael teased as he dug in a drawer in the right corner. I stopped mid-chorus and turned around to look at the acoustic guitar. I picked it up.

“I didn’t know you could play?” I said, as I started playing “House of the Rising Sun.” Fumbling over my chords, Michael looked at me.

“It’s A minor, C, G, D…Are you serious? You don’t know how to play House of the Rising Sun?” Michael asked looking at me, shocked.

“Well it’s not exactly on my repertoire, I only play it when I need to.”

“Jeez. Let me see that.” My heart began to race. I shook my head.

“Uh-uh! You want to hear something, fine!” I said, as I started to play the chords to my song ’Frustrated’, changing up the strum so that it was syncopated. Michael started to bob his head.

“Ooh, Ooh, I close my eyes, to the pain inside, pretending that it’s not there…”  I sang. Michael turned around and began to sing the song, I stopped singing the melody and switched to harmony, knowing that was my strong point.

“Silently, I, suffer in my doubt, that this is where I’m supposed to be.” Michael sang. We went through the entire song, with him singing the melody and me singing the harmony. I played the final chord in the song and ended it with one strum. Michael smiled.

“You know, you’d be a great background vocalist for me. Our voices mesh well together.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you have a real knack for picking out harmonies. I’m pretty impressed.”

“Thanks. I feel really honored you’d say that.” I said, putting the guitar back on the stand.

“You’re not bad at the guitar either.”

“I know. You’re probably a lot better than I am…”

“Chording, we are probably equal, picking, yes.” Michael said, looking at me. I laughed.

“How did you know that I can’t pick to save my life?”

“Just a wild guess. Here.” Michael said placing a notepad and a pen in front of me on the baby grand. I smiled and thanked him then racked my brain for the lyrics I was going to write earlier. In remembrance, I began jotting down the lines one by one. After my thoughts were on paper, I began playing the melody in my head on the baby grand. I became frustrated, as I had the melody down, but now I couldn’t make up my mind as to what chords to use. After sitting there going over the melody and chords I decided to use Em C G D. Now with the chords and melody I started playing with different rhythms for the piano. After a little while I looked at Michael, who was watching me intently.

“Could you do me a favor?”

“Anything.” Michael said, his brown doe eyes meeting mine.

“Could you play me a beat on your drum set?” He nodded and got up to sit in the drums set.

“What kind of feel where you hoping for?”

“I don’t know. Something R and B I think. Did you want to hear the whole song first?”

“Yeah.” Michael said, as he sat patiently. I began playing the piano.

“I want to lose myself in love,

And let you have me completely,

If I give you all my trust,

Can I just let me go,

let me not be afraid and let you find my way…

When you find someone who means the world to you,

giving it all you got is easy to do…

I want to fall

I don’t want to be afraid,

Fall…

cause I’m on my way,

Just fall,

I’m gonna fall on my face

Fall

Will it be okay?

If there’s no other way

Fall

Am I ready to fall?

So I find myself right here

About to lean over the edge

If your arms I have no fear

There is no safer place

Then here in your embrace

Will you catch me if I fall?

I want to fall

I don’t want to be afraid,

Fall…

cause I’m on my way,

Just fall,

I’m gonna fall on my face

Fall

Will it be okay?

If there’s no other way

Fall

It’s not easy giving up trust

Cause I’m scared just a little bit

Because my heart was crushed

And I was barely able to handle it

I don’t want to fall alone

Will you catch me?

Save me?

And tell me I’ll be safe right here?

Cause baby I’m the one whose scared

Will you let me just fall right here?

I want to fall

Fall

Fall

I want to fall in love…with you yeah…” I sang, with all of my passion.

Michael nodded in approval.

“I like it a lot.”

“Really?”

“Yes, now will you play just the piano part again, so I can show you what I concocted.” I nodded. Michael played the drums with precision. That song was made. Michael jotted some notes down and let out a big yawn

“I’m not sure if I can make it for another…” He paused to check his watch. “…three hours. I’m getting tired.” Michael said yawning again. I blinked and looked at him.

“What time is it now?”

“A little after 4.” Michael said letting out yet another yawn while tearing the piece of paper that held my lyrics out of the notepad. I began yawning at a more rapid pace.

“You know what, I am too, I think we should go to bed.” Michael frowned. “You’ll have me until I board the plane at 3:30 tomorrow.”

“It’s not fair. Why couldn’t I have met you sooner.” I shrugged.

“Just be glad you met me at all. I am. Every minute I thank God that I got to meet you. Who knew it was going to spark up romance.” I said, taking the piece of paper that he held out for me. I then started my way toward the stairs. I was the first to come down, Michael came down shortly after me. He closed up the stairs then joined me in the bedroom. I had already laid down and closed my eyes but I couldn’t fall asleep quite yet. Michael pounced down on the bed next me. He laid back and let out a yawn.

“Come here sexy lady.” Michael said, opening his arm wide so that I could slink next to him. Michael kissed the top of my forehead.

“Goodnight Crys,”

“Goodnight Michael. I love you.”

“Love you too.” Michael mumbled as he let sleep in. I closed my eyes as well, as I let sleep enter in.