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Until You Lose Your Breath	By : theProphet Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 1741 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction. Don't know Dir en grey and don't make any money from this.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
--- Five Months Later ---

-Kyo, oh… Kyo…
Kaoru was gripping the sheets tightly as he felt Kyo’s hard member slam into him till the very end where he hit that sweet spot and made Kaoru see stars.
-Kyo! Uh…
Kaoru lifted his ass as much as he could so that Kyo had even better access than now. He felt Kyo’s hands hold his hips firmly in place and slam into him harder with every movement.
-Ah! Kyo, please…
Kaoru dug his face in the pillow and finally felt one of Kyo’s hands being removed from his hip and placed on his dick. Kyo started to jerk him off keeping the same pace. Kyo wasn’t the gentlest lover in the world but his roughness just made Kaoru even hornier. He loved the way Kyo teased him and made him scream his name.
-Oh God, Kyo…
Kaoru felt that his muscles clenched and he knew he was close. He enjoyed the feeling of stone-hard dick slamming into him once more and then he came over Kyo’s hand. Kaoru exhaled loudly and fell on the bed. He felt Kyo tense and after a second a hot wave of cum was spilled inside him. Kyo fell on top of Kaoru’s back breathing hard. Kaoru felt Kyo’s breathing on his left cheek and that made him shiver all over.
-Ka… o… ru…
Kaoru immediately froze and turned as much as he could to look at Kyo but could see only his cheek. He pushed Kyo off him and felt that Kyo slipped from his body. Then Kaoru took Kyo’s face in his hands and looked deeply into his lover’s eyes.
-Kyo? Did you just SAY my name?
Kyo smiled weakly to him.
-Kyo…
Kaoru threw himself over Kyo and crushed him in embrace. Tears poured from his eyes uncontrollably and his body started to shake. But Kaoru cried from pure happiness.
-Kyo…
Kyo hugged him back and stroked Kaoru’s back with his hands.
~Kaoru…~
***
-So what’s the occasion? –Toshiya asked curiously. He and Die with Shinya were invited for dinner at Kyo and Kaoru’s place.
-Let’s get something to drink first, -Die whined. –I’m so thirsty!
-Die, -suddenly Toshiya said. –Am I imagining things or do you really have problems with sitting straight?
-Yeah, I’ve noticed too, -Kaoru said. Shinya immediately blushed and Toshiya laughed.
-So you finally decided to try something new? But with Shin-chan on top…
-It’s not your business, Toshiya, -Shinya started to protest but Toshiya interrupted:
-Is he good, Die?
-He’s not bad, -Die ruffled Shinya’s hair affectionately. –He’s just learning so I can’t be too harsh on him.
-Die… -Shinya started angrily.
-Don’t be angry, Shin-chan! –Die kissed him on the cheek. –We’re all friends here!
Shinya pouted but that made Toshiya and Kaoru only laugh more.
-And how are you doing, Totchi? –Die asked. –Are you still with him?
-Yes…
-Are things fine for you? –Kaoru asked.
-Yes, -Toshiya sighted. –As far as I know he’s been faithful to me and that’s all I need. I don’t know if he’ll manage to remain like that but I can see that he’s trying. And even if he’d cheat on me… I guess I’d forgive him. Once, at least. I’m too happy with him now.
-Just don’t let him use you, -Kaoru said seriously.
-I won’t, Kao!
-Kyo, cheer up! –Die suddenly hit him on the shoulder and grinned. –You look like shit!
Kaoru cleared his throat.
-There’s something we want to tell you, guys, -Kaoru started and smiled then looked at Kyo. They decided to invite the others so that Kyo could say in front of them some word and surprise them. Kyo smiled back at Kaoru but half-heartedly.
-Kyo? –Kaoru urged him. Kyo sighted and looked at his friends at the table.
-I’m sorry, guys, -Kyo suddenly said. –I’m really sorry.
Everyone looked at him in shock. Even Kaoru was stunned. He thought that Kyo could only say some syllables but here he was speaking without any effort.
-Don’t say anything, -Kyo said. –Listen to me first, please. What I want to tell you is very important.
Kaoru looked like he wanted to protest but fell silent. The other three just sat staring at Kyo.
-I can speak for a long time now. I gradually regained the ability but I didn’t tell it to anybody. Sorry, Shinya, that you learnt the sign language in vane, -Kyo smiled sheepishly. –But I knew if I told you, you’d tell Die. And then it no longer would be a secret.
Everyone was silent because it was too shocking to hear all that and they didn’t know what they could say.
-I guess I should start from the beginning, -Kyo sighted. –The first time I lost my voice after screaming at Kaoru the doctor told me to stop singing and stay in hospital for treatment. He said that if I wouldn’t do this, I’d definitely loose my voice and the damage would be irreparable. When I was lying in the ward I thought a lot and came to a decision. I refused the treatment and went back to singing. I did it on purpose.
Kyo looked at Kaoru hoping for some reaction but Kaoru just stared at him dumbfounded.
-I should give you my reasons then… You probably remember what I was like at that time. I was a pain in the ass, wasn’t I? I was really depressed and moody. To tell you the truth, I tried to kill myself because of Kaoru. I heard him saying he wants to marry that girlfriend of his and I just lost it. It was stupid, I know, but at that moment I felt like the whole world was crumbling to pieces. And after I recovered, the things were the same. There was nothing that could have helped me to feel at least a little better. I knew I was slowly but assuredly reaching the same point where I would try to kill myself again. I knew I was going to do it again and there wouldn’t be anyone to save me this time. Coincidences don’t happen too often.
There was only one way out – to separate from you and leave. But I knew that you wouldn’t let me go and ruin the band. I knew that Kaoru wouldn’t let me do this. Then, lying in the ward, I understood that there finally was a solution for my problems. I just had to loose my voice. To loose the only thing that Kaoru needed in me. And then the whole plan came into my mind. It was perfect. I knew I had to save my voice for the concert and then sing with all my power. That was all it took for my voice to go away. For the only thing that was precious to Kaoru to vanish. I knew it was a perfect plan. A perfect revenge. I finally had a power to hurt Kaoru as much as he hurt me. I could take away the only thing he loved most in the world – Dir En Grey.
Kyo sighted.
-The rest was easy. It really was all it took for Kaoru to never come to me again and I really felt so much better when I couldn’t see him every day. At least I wasn’t reaching the suicide verge any more. I started to regain the ability to speak gradually but decided not to tell it to anybody. I was firmly determined to keep it to myself and never again to speak. But I never predicted one thing. I never even thought that you’ll come back to me after so much time and tell me you love me.
Kyo looked at Kaoru and smiled sadly.
-I was nobody any more, I was of no use to you without my voice but you still wanted me. It was too good to be true. I decided not to tell you I could speak just in case. I wanted to make sure that you really want ME and nothing else. But the time passed and you’re still here. You didn’t leave me and really convinced me of your love to me. I know now that you really love me, Kaoru. I could have kept silent for the rest of my life and be sure that you won’t leave me but it wouldn’t be right. I knew I had to tell you the whole truth even if I’m risking of loosing you again. Shinya, Die, Totchi… I’m sorry I took away your jobs and made so many problems for you. It was selfish, but I would still do the same thing if I had a second chance, so please, don’t be very angry with me.
Then Kyo looked Kaoru in the eyes.
-I wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me, Kaoru. I wanted you to feel at least something similar to the pain that I felt. I was only your precious vocalist. Well, I’m not now and if you still want me, I’ll be more than happy to be with you for the eternity.
Kaoru looked at him in silence then stood up and left the room. Kyo lowered his head and sighted.
-Kyo, -Shinya finally overcame the shock. –You little devil…
Shinya hugged him and smiled.
-I forgive you for taking away my job. You didn’t force me to learn the sign language so you don’t need to apologize for that.
-Man… Kyo, I always knew you were monstrous! –Die said. –A revenge like that! You must really love him so much.
-I lived with you but even I wouldn’t have ever believed you’d do such a thing! –Toshiya finally said. –You avenged him with a vengeance!
-Aren’t you going to go after him? –Shinya asked.
Kyo shrugged.
-I think he needs time to fully comprehend everything and decide if he’s mad at me.
-You can be sure he’s angry with you, Kyo. Anybody would be! –Toshiya said.
-I know, -Kyo sighted.
-Kyo, -Shinya shook his head still not wanting to believe all this. –And here I thought that you’re so vulnerable and need to be taken care of.
-It’s not surprising, Shin-chan, -Die said. –You’re so naïve!
Shinya punched his lover in the shoulder lightly.
-I guess we should go now and leave you to clear things out by yourselves, -Toshiya said.
-Yes, you’re right, Totchi, -Shinya agreed.
They stood up and went to the corridor. Kaoru was nowhere to be seen.
-Bye, Kyo, -Shinya hugged him lightly and smiled. –Call if you need something.
-Ok.
-And let me know how everything will end up with Kaoru, ok?
-Sure, I’ll let you know, -Kyo promised. –I own you a lot, guys.
-Well, we’re leaving now hungry, so make us a feast next time we come and we’ll be all square! –Toshiya also hugged him.
-Ok! But if you want a feast then I’ll have to ask Shinya’s help because I suck at making food, -Kyo laughed.
-There’s no way I’m borrowing him to you! –Die pouted and hugged Shinya defensively. –Instead of the time in the kitchen he could do so much more useful things in the bedroom! Ouch!
Shinya punched him again.
-Don’t worry, Kyo, I’ll give you a hand!
-Thanks!
-Bye, -Die smiled and also hugged Kyo quickly. –Good luck with our leader-sama!
-Thanks…
When Kyo closed the door he went back to the living room. Kaoru was out and he was alone in the apartment.
Kaoru came back after about an hour. He came into the room and looked at Kyo sitting on the sofa. He came up, sat near him and put his head in his hands.
-I can’t believe that you ruined Dir En Grey… -Kaoru said silently. –You ruined it on purpose…
Kaoru sighted and then looked Kyo in the eyes.
-But I know I deserve it. So now we’re all square, aren’t we?
Kyo nodded.
-Don’t you regret it at all? Don’t you miss Dir En Grey?
-No. I got what I wanted most. I got you all to myself. And if you want, I can sing to you whenever you feel like listening. After all, I wrote you a love song, didn’t I?
Kaoru at first just looked at him then started to laugh and in the end he was crying with laughter.
-What’s so funny? –Kyo asked a bit offended.
-Nothing… -Kaoru panted and tried to calm down. –There’s nothing funny. You did write me a ballad!
-So why are you laughing?
-Just so, Kyo.
-Huh…
Kaoru leaned closer and kissed Kyo’s nose.
-Can you sing then?
-A little. I can’t overdo it because it starts to hurt after some time, but it gets better with every day.
-Good, -Kaoru smiled and kissed Kyo’s lower pierced lip.
-Kaoru… So you still love me?
-Of course.
-That’s great...
Kyo smiled contentedly and kissed him back.
-Because I love you too. I love you so much that it hurts…
Kyo leaned in Kaoru’s embrace and closed his eyes. A smile appeared on his lips and after some seconds Kaoru heard silent and gentle flow of words. He heard Kyo singing:
~ Until our voices go out, at last,
Let's sing until our voices go out…~
And hearing that Kaoru knew that he’ll give anything just to be with Kyo at the moment when he’ll exhale his last breath.

THE END

Some of my rambling right here:
Ok, so it’s not so overly poorly written for first fic ever as I thought it was, maybe there are far worse fics than this, that have more illogical happenings and dumb characters… But this is just so too full of clichés for my liking right now… I am a bit ashamed I wrote it, but… Well, this WAS my first attempt, so I guess I shouldn’t be hard on myself…
I do like how the plot is so full of many events and it never lets the reader to rest :P And I love the idea of Kyo losing his voice. I also love the drama in Kyo/Kao relationship :) And this is perhaps one and only fic that actually has some attempts at humor which my later works completely lack.
But then I hate some certain things in this fic a lot... >_<
Oh well, whatever... :)
...
Some comments for the last chapter??? ^^
- 18
- 19
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Until You Lose Your Breath