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The Paladin	By : Tcharlatan Category: > Toshiya/Die Views: 957 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction. I do not personally know any of the members of Dir en grey, and do not profit from this work.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
November 3^rd - 1:00 am
Die lay reclining on his side, head propped up on one hand, the other resting delicately on his hip with a gently-smoking cigarette loosely balanced between two fingers. He was completely bare and under other circumstances, his lover’s intense stare at his nude body would have been cause for excitement, but tonight, his passions had already been spent. Besides, Toshiya was only looking at him so closely for seconds at a time every couple of minutes. An all-too familiar sketchpad was balanced on his lover’s knees, and the soft skritch of graphite on paper was a steady static interruption of the comfortable quiet between them.
Die took a long, languid drag off the cigarette and tilted his head a bit to blow smoke rings at his ceiling. “Don’t you ever get tired of drawing me?”
“Nope.”
“Mm. Why’s this one taking so long?”
Die had learned that for the past three and a half years that they’d known each other, Toshiya had been building a collection of sketches of him. The man had two sketchbooks full of little glimpses of just him, more than a few of them pornographic in nature even from before they had gotten together. Now that Toshiya actually got to see Die nude on a fairly regular basis, the sketches had become much more accurate, and it seemed he could never get enough of drawing his older lover.
“Your chest. I want to make sure I have the scars right.”
Die ran his fingers thoughtfully over the dark pink lines on his chest, still sensitive even five months later. The Niikura family crest had been carved deep into his flesh, and the wounds had gone too long without being cleaned, so he would always bare the image on his chest. He didn’t mind all that much, anymore than he minded his too-short left pinky finger. Both had been earned in service to Kaoru, and he wore them with pride.
Toshiya hummed around his own cigarette, flashing his lover a grin. “You’re fucking gorgeous, you know that?”
Die’s returning smile was a bit lopsided, and he blushed a bit. He never could get used to Toshiya’s frequent exclamations of his beauty. “You’ve told me a few times. You should be careful I don’t get a big head.”
“Nah.” The younger man set the pad aside and stood from his chair, crossing the room to flop down next to his lover and plant a light kiss on elegant lips. “You’re too modest, gods know why. It’s probably for the best, though; if I was that good-looking, I’d never look away from the mirror.”
Die pressed his burning face into Toshiya’s shoulder, chuckling indulgently. “You’re such a dork sometimes.”
“It’s part of why you love me so much!”
The redhead kissed the smooth flesh in front of him, eyes flicking up with ill-concealed sincerity. “Aa, it is…”
It was Toshiya’s turn to blush, and he wrinkled his nose a bit at the older man. Their relationship was still in its infancy, particularly since they only got to see each other on the weekends. Everything between them was still new and exciting and though both tried to be relatively calm about it, they occasionally were awed by the intensity of what bloomed between them. Two nights and two days a week together was not nearly enough, but still more than they had ever hoped for.
For Shinya and Kaoru to consent to meeting even that often had been a shock for them, particularly since the long commute meant that whoever had made the trip to the other’s house had to stay overnight Friday and Saturday. Shinya and Toshiya usually went to the Niikura tower, where there were large, comfortable quarters set up just for Shinya, but Kyo and Kaoru would occasionally travel with Die and take up one of the guest rooms in the Terachi mansion. The constant trips were a pain, and there were some weekends where both parties were simply too busy to make it, but Die and Toshiya cherished every moment they got together.
“I saw a new picture in the living room,” Toshiya remembered, rolling to lie on top of Die’s chest with a yawn. “Of Kaoru and Kyo in a club eating a cherry. Who took that? It’s really cute!”
Die laughed softly, wrapping his arms around the younger man’s narrow waist. “One of Ran Tetsuya’s spies, if you’d believe it. His Second brought it into a tributary meeting with his other files back when Kao was missing and used it to convince Tetsuya that Kyo was a concubine.”
“Pbft!” Toshiya sputtered, dissolving into the wheezing, squeaking laugh the way he always did when he thought something was really funny. “What?!”
“You remember, Kyo had to go in Kaoru’s place? Tetsuya said he wasn’t interested in whores in suits, and Kyo ripped him a new asshole. He was back last week and Kaoru just ripped into him for being disrespectful to his ‘advisor’ and then demanded all records of the photo.”
Toshiya couldn’t stop himself laughing, and Die grinned as well. He loved Toshiya’s laugh, odd though it was. The younger man’s whole face turned up whenever he laughed, his eyes forming perfect little crescents and his entire body shook with the force of it. Really, Die found the full spectrum of his lover’s emotions fascinating; so fleeting and yet so passionate. Toshiya was not afraid to laugh or cry or scoff in front of god and everybody if that was what he felt like doing, and Die had to admire that kind of genuineness.
Because Toshiya did tend to be so emotional, people often underestimated him in his capacity as the Terachi bodyguard, just as they underestimated Shinya because of his youthful, effeminate features. So few people ever realized the intelligence hidden behind Toshiya’s black eyes or the strength in his willowy limbs, and when they felt the cruel sting of Shinya’s ruthless cunning, it was far too late. Die remembered, at times, that Kyo had been a member of that incongruous family as well, his wicked grin and wild appearance masking a highly capable, organized mind.
“Totchi?”
“Yes, gorgeous?”
“What do you think you’d be doing, if you weren’t with Shinya?”
“Still you, ideally.”
Die rolled his eyes. “Don’t be an ass.”
Toshiya winked. “I would be famous, I think. Maybe a model or something? I’m pretty good-looking, you know.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Or maybe in a band! I don’t know. Why do you ask?”
“Just curious… it’s just funny how things turn out sometimes, you know? If any one little thing had been different… If Kyo’s father hadn’t gone to jail, and he hadn’t been adopted by the Terachis. If your cousin never had you run that package to Kunio, and he hadn’t picked you to be Shin’s bodyguard. If Tomohiro’s wife hadn’t been infertile, and Kaoru hadn’t been picked as heir. One little change, and none of this would have happened, you know? Kaoru and Kyo wouldn’t be together, and neither would you and I.”
“What would you be doing?”
Die chuckled. “Kaoru once said that we would be famous soccer players or rock stars.”
Toshiya’s head came up with bright eyes and a cheeky grin. “Can you imagine if we were all rock stars? Like, in a band together?”
Die stared into his lover’s eyes for a long moment, then scoffed, “It’s a bit farfetched, don’t you think?”
Toshiya pouted and laid his head back down on Die’s chest, yawning widely as the older man’s long arm stretched out to flick off the light. It was hard to imagine them living any life other than their own. Could Kaoru and Die ever have been the goofy, laughing boys shown in the older photos, before life had turned them serious? Could Kyo ever have been the wicked, sensual banshee he was when he took to the stage on karaoke night, when work didn’t force him to be organized? Could Shinya ever have been the gentle, supportive friend that could only come out in private, when it didn’t interfere with business? Toshiya found himself drifting off quickly, lulled by his own silly fantasy and Die’s steady heartbeat.
“Besides, what would Shinya play? Tambourine?”
“PBFT!!!”
- 18
- 19
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The Paladin