Starting at the Beginning | By : Katma Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Savage Garden Views: 2042 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Savage Garden. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
“Have you gotten what you wanted, Darren?” Daniel asked. Now that Darren was here, the guitarist was going to get some answers.
Darren ducked his head, unable to meet Daniel’s eyes. “Not really,” he answered softly. Daniel waited for the singer to say more, but it appeared Darren was tongue-tied. This really startled Daniel. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Darren at a loss for words.
“Darren?” he prompted.
“Yeah,” Darren said, shaking his head to dislodge whatever thoughts were occupying him. “No, I’m not really happy with the way things turned out. It certainly wasn’t what I expected. Sure, I have my album. And it’s a success. Sort of.” Darren shrugged.
“It was fun to make. I really enjoyed creating it. And Walter was great to work with. It’s just… there was something missing, you know? Walter and I worked well together, but I had to explain everything I wanted to him. He doesn’t understand me the way you did.” Here Darren looked up and smiled at Daniel. “I guess you spoiled me, huh?”
Daniel wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so he said nothing. Darren waited for a moment, then sighed and continued.
“I guess what’s really bothering me is what happened to us. That’s why I came here. The way things ended between us was just wrong. I miss you, Dan. I miss being able to create music with you. I miss you understanding what I want to say before I can say it. I miss having you for a friend. I don’t want almost nine years of friendship to just disappear, I guess.”
Darren stopped then, his wide blue eyes searching Daniel’s face for some sign. Daniel’s face, however, was unreadable. Darren sighed quietly. That was yet another sign of the distance between them. There was a time not so long ago that he could have read every emotion
on the guitarist’s face. Well, I guess I’m just going to have to wait until he decides to talk to me. Hope it doesn’t take him as long as it usually does, Darren thought with a small grin. Luckily for Darren’s peace of mind, it didn’t take Daniel long to respond.
“Darren, I didn’t want our partnership, or our friendship, to end the way it did. Need I remind you whose idea it was to publicly announce Savage Garden’s breakup without consulting the other half of
Savage Garden?” Daniel asked angrily.
“And need I remind you just who left me to do all the promoting Savage Garden needed to be
successful?” Darren asked, his hackles rising.
“You said you’d do it.” Daniel’s voice was rising dangerously.
“Only because that was the only way I could get you to stay. We already had the goddamned tour booked, and you were just going to run out on me!”
“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you didn’t like being the only one in the spotlight,” Daniel sneered.
“No! I hated it! Do you have any idea of how hard it was to go to all of those things without you? To constantly be asked where you were at every interview? To make sure that everyone understood that Savage Garden was a partnership, Darren and Daniel, not just Darren? It was
miserable. And stressful.”
“Uh-uh. And do you dislike being the only one in the spotlight now?”
“I didn’t say that,” Darren said, his voice softening slightly. “I’ve always liked being the center of attention, Dan. You know that. But it’s easier now. I’m not one person trying to promote two. I only have to speak for me. It makes things much simpler.”
“So you didn’t like promoting for us, but promoting for you is ok, huh?”
“God, Daniel, stop twisting my words! I loved promoting for our first tour. I just hated it the second tour. It was like I’d already gone solo, but I was still chained to Savage Garden. We were supposed to be partners, but it became evident with every interview without you that we weren’t anymore.”
“You felt chained to Savage Garden?” Daniel asked, a bit of hurt coloring his voice.
“Are you honestly going to tell me you didn’t?” Darren questioned with a raised eyebrow. “I know you did. We just felt chained for different reasons. You didn’t like the spotlight, the intrusion of privacy, and all the other trappings that come with stardom. I didn’t like being pigeonholed into a musical partnership that was obviously failing. You can’t really be a band when the two members’ goals are so radically different.”
“Which is, of course, why you decided to inform the world of Savage Garden’s demise before me, right?”
Darren bit his lip and blushed. “About that… I’m really sorry, Daniel. I did not intend for that to
happen the way it did. I realize I should have talked to you before I talked to Adams, but it was late and I was just talking. I wasn’t watching what I was saying the way I should have been. And then he promised me he was going to keep it quiet for two weeks. I honestly was going to call you
that morning and ask whether I couly dly down so that we could talk. I would never have deliberately betrayed you like that, Daniel, no matter what was going on between us. Please believe me. I am truly sorry.”
Daniel looked into Darren’s earnest blue eyes and saw the guilt and sorrow there. He knew Darren had felt bad at the time the incident had occurred… even with all the distance between them at that point, he could tell from Darren’s tone of voice on the phone that it wasn’t what he had wanted to happen. But before now, Darren had never directly apologized for it. el fel felt the
lingering traces of anger disappear under the force of that sapphire gaze. He wanted to tell Darren that it would be all right, but there were still some things left unsaid between them. For the first time, Daniel showed signs of nervousness. Darren waited quietly for whatever response Daniel was going to give him. There was a certain air of resignation about him, as if he would accept whatever Daniel said and do whatever Daniel wanted him to do. Conscious of this, Daniel took care in
wording his next question.
“The one thing I still don’t understand is why, Darren. Why did you have to give up Savage Garden? Why did it have to be either/or?”
“It just had to be,” Darren said, shrugging and looking down. “I’ve never been one to do things halfway. To me, being a part of Savage Garden and attempting a solo career woul doi doing just
that. I wouldn’t really be a solo artist, but I wouldn’t really be part of a band if we weren’t making new music, either. I couldn’t live with a foot in both worlds, Daniel.
“I couldn’t just do nothing for those years when I was waiting for you to decide whether you wanted to tour or not. And if I tried to go solo when I was still a part of Savage Garden… I mean, how many people have had successful careers as solo artists while still attached to a successful band? I didn’t want to be ‘that singer from Savage Garden,’ although I’m not completely sure I managed to avoid that.” Darren made a face, and Daniel laughed. At the sound, Darren’s eyes snapped back up to Daniel’s face. When Daniel continued smiling, Darren returned a lopsided smile.
Then he grew serious again.
“And, Daniel, do you honestly think you ever would have been ready to tour again?”
Now it was Daniel’s turn to look down. He didn’t respond for a long moment. Then, slowly, he shook his head “no.” Darren sighed.
“I didn’t think so. I think I knew that from the moment you had that breakdown in Japan. As cruel as this sounds, I didn’t want to wait around for something that would never happen. So I broke all the ties before anything else had the chance to. But, Danny,” here Darren placed a hand lightly on Daniel’s. This turned Daniel’s head back up to meet Darren’s gaze, and the singer turned the full force of his blue eyes on his once-partner. “Even if I went about it the wrong way, I had to do it. Do you see what I mean? Can you understand where I’m coming from, now?”
Daniel stared first into Darren’s pleading blue eyes and then at the singer’s hand where it covered his own. This was a surprise. He had never actually expected Darren to apologize. And he did understand why Darren had acted that way, even if he didn’t like it. I guess it’s stupid to hold a grudge about this, especially when Darren took the time to explain, Daniel thought. And… I don’t really want to still be mad. I missed him. Daniel smiled, a small smile but genuine, and met Darren’s eyes again.
“Yeah, I see what you mean. I understand. And… I’m sorry, too.”
Darren looked up, surprise and happiness warring for dominance on his face. “So… things are ok?”
“Yeah, Dare, things are ok.”
“And we can go back to being friends?”
“Of course we can.”
Darren literally bounced out of the sofa and into Daniel, wrapping his arms around Daniel’s chest and squeezing tightly. Surprised, Daniel hesitated a moment before returning the hug, closing his eyes briefly. This one embrace had the power to bring back all the memories of the good times with Darren. Daniel tightened the hug for a moment, feeling a lump form in his throat. He hadn’t realized exactly how much he’d missed Darren until right then. ren ren held him close for a second more, then broke away, his eyes suspiciously bright.
“I’m so glad. You have no idea. I was seriously afraid you were going to slam the door in my face this afternoon,” Darren related with a shaky laugh.
“I think I have an idea of how glad you are… I missed you, too, you know!” Daniel laughingly protested. “And the thought of shutting you out did cross my mind, but I was too curious to hear what you were standing out there for. Now I’m very grateful I didn’t.”
“Me, too! I don’t think my ego would have survived such a blow,” Darren teased.
Daniel gave a shout of laughter, and Darren’s ringing laugh followed. The two men smiled at each other for a moment, and then Daniel opened his mouth. Darren was never to find out
what Daniel was about to say, however, because the door opening interrupted the men. Kathleen walked in, laying her keys on the table by the door and glancing curiously at Darren’s, which were
also occupying that spot. She peered into the living room and stopped short when she saw Darren there.
“Darren?” she asked.
“Hi, Kathleen,” he responded with a little wave.
“Hi,” she answered hesitantly. “Um, not to be rude or anything, but shouldn’t you be on tour?”
Daniel snorted with laughter. “Yeah, that’s what I asked him, too.”
“I had a few days off, and I decided to come down here. There were some things I had to do.” Here Darren smiled at Daniel, who returned smilsmile. This exchange did not escape Kathleen’s notice.
“And did you get them taken care of?” she inquired.
“Yeah,” said Darren, a note of satisfaction in his voice. “Yeah, I did.”
“Good.” Kathleen looked at Daniel, a searching look. Whatever she saw there must have made up her mind. “Well, I’ve been needing to get to the store for a long time now. We’re out of almost everything. How about I pick up something special for dinner, and you can eat with us tonight, Darren?”
Darren glanced at Daniel, who smiled and nodded. He turned back to Kathleen, a brilliant smile on his face.
“I’d love that, thanks.”
“All right, then. I’ll be back in a few, ok?”
Kathleen turned to leave, but Daniel caught up with her in the entryway.
“Hey,” he said, stopping her with a hand on her arm. “Thanks.”
“No problem. I’m just glad you and Darren got things worked out between you two. You did
get them worked out, right?”
“Yeah, we did.”
“Good. I know how much that was bothering you. I’m just happy it all worked out.”
She leaned up and pressed a kiss to Daniel’s cheek, then playfully swatted his hand off her arm.
“Now, if you want dinner any time soon, you’re gonna have to let me go.”
“Go, then!” Daniel said, responding with an equally playful shove. “I’m starving!”
Kathleen’s laugh was the last thing Daniel heard before she shut the door firmly behind her. Daniel smiled happily and turned towards the living aga again. He and Darren had a lot to catch up on, and he couldn’t wait to start.
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