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Venomous	By : LoonyLucifer Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Pierrot Views: 1341 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Pierrot. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Venomous
- 2-Chapter 2
- 1
- 2
Chapter 2

~*~

The weather was picking up by the time I reached the little strip of commercial stores near our apartment. The freezing drizzle was turning into sleet, and I swear the little chunks of it were getting bigger by the minute. I had maybe four more blocks o. o. That much more until I was out of this freezing cold and hopefully enjoying Kirito's coffee. The wind was getting worse however, and the sleet was starting to sting just a little more than was comfortable, so I picked up my pace to a slow jog, not wanting to be around when it became no longer tolerable. I've seen sleet here break double paned windows and put dents in cars the size of softballs. I should definitely pick up the pace a little.

Finally I was nearing the trunoff to our building. It's really kind of a dump actually, like most of the buildings around here, but it was the only place we could afford. That's one of the reasons Kirito and I live together. We both have pretty crappy jobs, so we help each other out with expenses and stuff. I can tell he wants to get out of there though, who wouldn't? He's always talking to me about it, planning one thing or another, trying to save enough for a new guitar or microphone for our band. I know he wants to get somewhere with our little band., even though we're not really much of one. He just got a few friends together who were interested, Takeo on drums, Aiji on guitar, him on vocals. When all this started, I discovered he could write some pretty twisted lyrics, things that sent shivers up my spine simply thinking about. It freaked me out just a little. He was so vivid with some of the details.

Ever since I can remember he's been somewhat of a writ Whe When we were little he liked to find corners to sit down with his notebook and fade out of sight. He never showed me what he wrote though. I don't think he showed anyone. I never knew if he was keeping a journal, writing fiction, poetry, or what. But now, for the first time, I got just a bit of a glimpse of his writing. It surprised me. I think it sort of surprised the rest of the band too, but they were soonhralhralled with it, and that's how we knew we would stay together. They later agreed to let me play bass, mostly because they didn't have anyone for the part, but also because I was always around when they were practicing, and for pretty much everything else. There's sort of a little rule that everyone who meets the Murata brothers soon learns. Wherever Kirito goes, I go. It's like that with everything we do. I've always met people through him, my closest friends were always his first. Every once in a while once of them will mention that I fallow him around like a puppy, and I feel a little embarrassed, but that's the way it's always been with us. Even when we were little I'd follow him everywhere. Kirito never minded. When we got in a fight he'd yell and scream at me and I'd yell and scream back, but he'd never tell me to leave. When we had finished yelling, he'd grab my arm and drag me along wherever he was going, me pouting or staring off into space grumpily, and him not speaking to me. Other parents and teachers, with their own kids at each others' throats every five minutes, often told our mother we were the strangest siblings they'd ever met.

I later realized that even at that age I was infatuated with him. It wasn't the kind of obsession I have now, and it wasn't necessarily sexual, but it was still there. It was more of an admiration. He was Big Brother Kirito. He was my protector and I was his puppy.

Slowly as we grew older, hitting our teens, Kirito became aware of his difference in sexual preferences. The way he looked at the boys around us began to change, and at first it fascinated me. held pld pick one, seemingly out of nowhere, and focus all of his attention on him, talking to him, hanging around him, taking him places....soon he had the boy completely enamored with him. I never knew how he did it. Even if the boy wasn't gay, and they usually weren't at first, he would be wrapped around Kirito's finger within a week, ready and willing to give him anything and everything he wanted, and from what I heard through my bedroom wall, my brother wanted a lot.

Nobody ever said anything about it, but I could tell they had suspicions. After all Kirito wasn't always exactly "subtle" in his ways. They tended to look the other way when it came to my brother. Deep down somewhere I think I understood it. They were just nervous. Of what I'm not sure, there was never really any reason to hold back when scorning my brother rather than any other kid in our town, but somehow everyone understood that you just don't cross Kirito. It was irrational, but it was there. I think it happens to everyone who meets him. I'm perfectly aware that I'm a victim of it myself. I go out of my way to make certain I don't make him angry, maybe because of that illogical fear he seems to infect everyone around him with, or maybe because I was hoping for something in return. I think it was really more of both. To receive praise from my brother is worth more than anything to me.

Understand, when Kirito went off with these boys, it was the first time that I was left behind. He wouldn't allow me to follow, or tag along when they went somewhere alone. The reason was obvious to me, as I was the one who knew at least most of the things he did, but I was still stunned. It was the only time I was not allowed to be by his side, and no matter how much I reasoned it through, I still felt left out. At this point in my life, I didn't consider myself gay, and I didn't think I'd want to participate in the things they did, but nonetheless it hurt. When he was with his latest toy, I was no longer his number one companion. He shared a secret with someone else that I wasn‘t allowed to know. I was replaced. When I figured out it was jealousy that I was feeling, I was once again startled. I was jealous because my brother had a boyfriend. It was just too much to take, and it didn’t make any sense to me. Why in the world should I be jealous because my brother is dating someone? It happens to everyone, sooner or later they find people outside of their family to be around, but it shouldn’t upset me. I shouldn’t be upset that it wasn’t me he was spending all his time with, confiding in, looking after, caring for…. I thought about it, and finally rationalized that I was feeling this way because Kirito and I had always been so close, and it was only natural that I‘d feel a bit left out. I felt better thinking that at first, but after a while, I realized that the feeling wasn’t going away. It would stick in my head in the middle of school, at the bus stop, during lunch, when we got home, when he’d go out….when I was sitting in my room alone, waiting for him to come back. I grew to dislike the boys he’d see for no reason at all, simply because they were taking my brother away from me. My jealousy began to turn into grief, and that’s when I realized that I was in love with my brother.

What a blow that had been, finding out I had a crush on my only brother. I was completely disgusted at first, the very thought of it made me sick a few times, and I defiantly tried to shove the whole twisted, perverted thought out of my mind once and for all. But it always came back. It wouldn’t leave me alone. I began to notice things about Kirito that I wouldn’t have if this one damn little realization hadn’t entered my head. I noticed how sexy he was, how he didn’t move like a normal person, how his body would slink about and flow like water if he was feeling particularly raunchy, or how it would stiffen up and lock together if he was feeling cold and antisocial. His eyes were like fire if he was angry at me, they burned and I found I couldn’t look into them. I noticed how beautiful he was………how much I’d like to bury my nose in his soft hair, how much I’d like to snuggle up to him, to have his arms wrap around me, to fold myself inside of his embrace, to have him lying on top of me, smothering me, giving me such warmth, inside of me…. I made myself sick thinking about such things. These thoughts always started out as something small, something insignificant, then led to something completely perverted to a normal mind. But in the end, I began to accept it. I understood that I wanted him, and it wasn’t going to fade away, and slowly it didn’t gross me out as much anymore. I could think about him wrapped around me, and not feel disgusted. I always felt ashamed though, I still knew it was wrong.

I stopped walking. I was a block away from home, and the wind and sleet were still bearing down on me more than ever, threatening to blow me into the deserted street, but none of that had to do with what broke me out of my daze. I heard a noise. A noise that sounded……almost like a voice. And then a shout…...no, like a scream. I turned around and around, trying to figure out from which direction the sound had come, but to no avail. I listened, but the wind was becoming harder and harder to hear above. No matter where I looked, I was the only person in sight. Despite being in a fairly populated part of the city, no one would wish to venture outside in this kind of weather. I was alone. I shook my head. The most obvious explanation was that it was simply the wind playing tricks on my half focused mind. After one more glance behind me, I started off again. Who ever said I wasn’t paranoid?

About ten steps later I swear I heard the noise again. This time I stopped and whirled around right away. Nothing there. I knew it wasn’t the wind, the wind didn’t sound like that, even to my mind. I glanced at our apartment, which could easily be see from where I was standing. I imagined the stairway leading up to our floor, the hallway, our doorway, Kirito sitting at the kitchen table just behind it, waiting patiently for me to arrive. Yes, he’s waiting for me……..but nothing will be different when I get there. The thought suddenly brought a sullen mood over me. I stared at the building for a while, but it seemed so far away from where I was standing now, as if it weren’t just a block away, as if I could never reach it. So I turned back, deciding to wait to return home. Despite the freezing rain and wind, I needed to find what was making that noise. If it were some kind of animal, it might need help out of the weather. I really just needed to know.

I walked a ways back along the sidewalk, keeping close watch of the intersecting streets around me. It was hard to see through the rain, but I was managing. The sound came again, this time more clearly. My blood froze. I could tell it was a scream, and now it sounded strangled. I started breathing heavier, not quite sure of what to do. I ran down the road, in search of the source, not quite knowing if I would like to find out what caused ithe she streetlamps flickered on, attempting to pierce through the approaching darkness, but ironically they only made my vision worse. Sleet and light combined was not easy to see through. I did however manage to find what I thought to be the source of the sound. It was a passage leading away from the sidewalk, one of those little alleys in between the buildings. was was dark, and I couldn’t make much out as I peered into it. A little voice in the back of my head was telling me to turn around. Actually, it was screaming for me to turn around, but despite my fear, my feet carried me forward, into the darkness. I stayed as close to the side of one of the brick buildings as I could, hoping that whatever made the noise might not see me. Visions of childhood monsters and things that lived under beds and in closets flashed through my head. Slimy, mutated things crawled through my mind, and I was sure that every one of them was waiting on the other side of this alley for me, waiting to make me scream just like the sound I heard.

When I did reach the other side of the alley, I had a hard time making out the different shapes. My vision out on the street was bad, but this was even worse. I could tell there was some kind of open yard, or space, or whatever hel hell it was that these people had behind their shops, but everything was so skewed that I couldn’t tell if I was really looking at anything. I slowly crept out of the alley and a little ways into the opening, hoping to get a better view, when I saw movement. I couldn’t tell what it was, only something big, and moving, and I froze. My neck went stiff, and I couldn’t move. A yard light next to the mass flashed on, and through the drizzle my eyes made out perfectly clear what it was. It was two people. One was hanging limply in the other’s arms, bent backwards in an awkward posn, an, almost as though unconscious. It was a girl, probably not more than twenty, with long blond hair that was rapidly becoming matted and tousled in the rain. One of her arms hung limply at her side, the other lay around the other form’s neck, her lips were painted bright red, the color cutting through even the darkness and weather. But her eyes hung open, staring at nothing. She really was lifeless. I stepped back as my own eyes turned to the man who was holding her. He had turned to me, vision locked on my own. I was now stepping backwards with more haste, realizing that I needed to get out of there. She was dead. Whoever this person was, he had killed her. I knew nothing of the situation, but I was nearly as dead as the girl was, just seeing what I had. I hit the wall of one of the buildings as the man let the girl drop to the ground. He let his eyes wander from me for a moment to watch her fall, but in the process of bringing them back up to me, I noticed something strange. His eyes flickered in the light. They were like the eyes of a cat, caught in a car’s headlights. They reflected the light back at the viewer as though they held a tiny mirror inside of them. They weren’t human eyes.

I turned and ran. The fear had finally caught up to me, and I could do nothing about it. I found the alley and bolted down it, vaguely seeing the light from the streetlamps on the other side. I heard something behind me, and through all the commotion of my feet pounding into the muddy ground, the icy rain, and the wind, I could only register it as laughter. I was being chased. The monster in my head had become real and now he was chasing me. A thousand times I’d been in this scenario when I was little. I’d walk outside alone and at night to go somewhere or get something, the whole time imagining all sorts of demons and devils waiting in the darkness to chase me down, but they had never done so. In the back of my head I had never expected it to happen, and now it was. I stumbled through the end of the alley and back out onto the street, barely catching a glimpse of a dark form behind me. I took off for home, hoping that by some miracle if only I could reach the apartment, I would be away from this nightmare. Kirito was in that apartment. Kirito would know what to do. He could chase away this demon; he could chase away anything. He could save me. All I had to do was reach Kirito.

I felt fingers as cold as the icy rain brush my neck. I whirled around, trying to run at the same time, and only succeeded in tumbling over on the sidewalk, scraping up my arm in the process. In a flash I was on my feet again. I hadn’t seen him behind me, but he’d been close enough to touch me. I couldn’t get a good look at him, my movements were out of control and everything was spinning, all I could glimpse was a huge black form every now and then. And that laughing, I can only guess that’s what it was, was echoing through my head. Maybe it wasn’t laughter, maybe it was the thing’s speech, I couldn’t tell. I felt like he was teasing me. I didn’t look behind me anymore, afraid that I would get lost in the panic if I did. But every once in a while I would feel it brush up against me, fingers across my arm and over my neck again, sending chills through me. It was there one moment and gone the next, I couldn’t imagine how fast it must have been moving.

Thercroscross the street was the apartment, and I ran all out for it. I reached the front doors and bolted inside. I kept going, flying through the deserted lobby, and heading for the stairs. It was just as I had imagined it earlier, through the door, up the stairs, down the hall, but everything seemed so long and out of focus. Then there it was. The door in which held freedom in the form of my brother just on the other side. I sprinted down the hallway and threw the door open, flinging myself inside, inside to Kirito. And there he was, just like a dream, standing before me, squarely facing the door, a knowing smile on his face, one arm outstretched towards me, a colt .45 pointed at my head.

I hit the floor.

~*~

[A/N] Alright, i'm sure i'm being completely redundent here, but -just in case- anyone doesn't know, a colt .45 is a handgun. (i'm really starting to think that Kirito x Kohta photoshoot is getting to me O_o)
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Venomous