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Breaking Through	By : gardenrose Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Savage Garden Views: 4056 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Savage Garden. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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The door slammed behind them and Daniel knew Darren was right. Something had opened up in him again and he obviously had no control over it any more. But he wasn’t ready to talk about it. Not now. He turned his back to Darren who looked at him expecting an answer and just headed to his bedroom.

“Because that’s what I am, Darren,” he said before disappearing in his room without even turning around to face Darren who still stood by the door looking with eyes full of confusion and hurt to the back of his best friend who obviously had some big secrets. Daniel felt that look on his back but he couldn’t deal with it tonight.

Whatever Darren did that day, or maybe everything Darren did that day, made Daniel realize it. There is no hiding from yourself. And he couldn’t blame Darren, could he? Even though the next day and few days after Darren obviously felt guilty for bringing up something, he also very obviously couldn’t quite put his finger on it how he did it exactly, and it was really no Darren’s fault.

Daniel once again watched with amusement how Darren avoided anything related to that day and quietly wondered if under this queeny skin lived a closeted homophobe?
Well that couldn’t be – Daniel knew people. He knew his friends. But he was indeed a bit confused why Darren was so bold and then suddenly so reserved about it all.

Whatever it was, that little strain of stress in their living room brought out the necessary angst for bringing out those hidden reserves and forming “I want you” into a song. It turned out into a pop song. Really catchy pop song. Daniel just knew it. He recognized hit material. But they needed more. They needed an album. They had to keep going. And confusion in the house kept them going like nothing else before had. They almost avoided talking, all they did was jamming, making music, adding up sounds & words, grinning madly and shaking heads, but not talking. Certainly the little stress in the house was all for good. Daniel was happy with the results they were suddenly getting. He relieved his own stress the only way he knew – Corona. And then the only way he knew to let himself off the hook was his favourite cruising spot. He needed it and he needed it badly.

Coming back to the Metro was like returning to the childhood backyard. It had been 2 years. He still recognised a bartender and the bartender definitely recognised him.
With a wink and a smile Daniel let him know he would like to be a new face instead of an old regular who missed out for some unknown reason. Well he didn’t know the reason, really… He was forming a band. He feared the industry, he feared making wrong steps. Everything should be kept under covers just in case the big break is around the corner. Well hanging out in a gay bar is not exactly keeping it under covers. And with Darren around, he couldn’t take anyone home anyways …
And a couple of girlfriends he went through almost made him believe he could be straight.

He sipped his Corona and felt someone’s eyes fixing on his. The guy made a slow motion walk across the bar and took a seat next to Daniel’s. Who was he trying to fool? “This is who I am,” he thought with a sigh as the guy’s hand laid softly on his tight. “This is who I am,” he thought back to that night with Darren.

He sighed again loudly as the stranger’s hand travelled up his tight and stopped an inch from his crotch. Daniel turned to face him and moved away his beer. “It’s gotta be your place, mate.”

Daniel returned back home before Darren had woken. The sight of him sleeping there on Daniel’s couch really hurt. For some reason it felt different than before. “I gotta ask him what are the troubles at home. I gotta ask what’s up,” Daniel thought as he moved to the kitchen to make some coffee.

He sat down at the kitchen table and realised he doesn’t feel guilty or dirty for his cruising, as he used to. A shocking thought of finally being a grown-up hit him.
I am a normal adult. And I don’t owe anything to anyone. Least of all to the female gender of this world. He smiled at the thought.
But a secret little pain of seeing Darren asleep on his couch was somewhere in a corner of his somehow liberated heart. They have to talk. They haven’t been able to talk in ages.
The phone rang.

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!” Daniel screamed.

“what’s the …” Darren started but didn’t have time to finish the sentence as Daniel was on the couch next to him, shaking Darren’s shoulders in order to get the sleep out of him. The reserved quiet Daniel… Darren sat up on the couch and looked wide eyed at his friend.

“They like it, Darren, they fucking like your concept, they love the demo!” Daniel said all in one breath not realising he mentioned some how THAT night for the first time. Darren smiled and tried to push Daniel off the couch so he can normally get up and out of his bed.

“Do you understand, Darren? We get the studio time next week! We are going into a normal studio to do some normal work!”

Once it registered with Darren what actually happened he got of course more enthusiastic about it and already stressed out that they don’t even have enough material for one entire album …

“No sane record company would release a song if there’s not enough material for an album!” he was again annoying Daniel and making him smile at the same time.

They spent the rest of the week under pouting, stressing, annoying and laughing mood, really driving each other nuts and creating something that sounded like quite a good music. At least they wouldn’t fall flat on their face entering the studio with one song.

When Daniel first heard “I Want You” properly produced, he couldn’t help it.
He walked over to Darren and put his hands around his shoulders from behind, leaning into him like he leaned into Daniel that day when he heard something in Daniel’s guitar riff, and whispered, “your concept was genius”.

Darren shivered under him – he must have felt it, too… The song was just …. So like a song you’d hear on the radio over and over again! And when did Darren develop that needy voice of his?

The smiles disappeared when they sat down with some executives to listen to the other tracks they recorded over a period of 2 weeks in the studio.
Suddenly it all felt very awkward, and Daniel sensed Darren has the same vibe about it shifting his weight nervously and uncomfortably in a chair where he had been sat by a secretary.
She was still standing in a doorway where she had stopped on her way in to bring some papers but obviously didn’t want to interrupt the session, and seemed to be the only person in the room who likes the music. She moved a little and quietly tipped her feet in the rhythm of their songs.
All the executives just sat there with stone faces and suddenly the music didn’t sound as good as it did when they made it. However, surprisingly, the tape ended under a short round of very reserved applause and hands were being shaken and lots of advices given.

“Something needs to be polished down”

“There are some edges to smooth”

“Which one is the singer? You need to dye your hair black. You have quite an exotic voice.”

“White skin and black hair. The other will make an opposite”

“Perfect”

“Do we have you back in the studio tomorrow, gentlemen?”

By the time the edges were smoothed and things polished, Darren became someone different while Daniel just became more of himself. Darren’s delicate skin quickly reacted to him avoiding the sun and he was a pale beauty in less than a month. Daniel just laughed, “God, your own mother would get scared!” Darren’s pout was not missing on the pale face, either.

However the biggest changes were yet to come, and Daniel had no idea he really wasn’t ready for them. He just didn’t think about it. He wasn’t the one who had to change his appearance. Heck why worry?

They were at the photo studio. Yes, the albums and singles actually need covers and people want to know what their idols look like. Danihuckhuckled at the idea.
He was impatient to see Darren come out of his little dressing room. Some how Daniel presumed that the long blond locks of his friend will go and a new short black hair will replace it.

The stylist had changed his mind at the last minute, seeing how perfectly the long straight hair opens Darren’s face while the hairdresser was simply combing his just dyed head before doing the planned short haircut.

Daniel’s make up was done in 10 minutes and he cout bet believe what was taking Darren so long, knowing he had been there since the morning. Unable to just sit there and wait in a boring studio listening to some guys discussing different lightning for different facial features, he laid a soft knock on the dressing room’s door and walked in.

He pressed his back to the door behind him and just stood there taking in the beauty of the process he was witnessing.
Darren’s silky black hair was shoulder length (well the same as his blond hair was, but where the hell the curls go?) and they were falling over his suddenly so evident cheekbones in a very strange manner…
A rich eyeliner made Darren look like a gothic god.
Not a muscle moved in Darren’s face. His eyes were lowered allowing a make up girl to touch his long lashes with a brush of mascara. Daniel could not make it what his friend was thinking.

When Darren was ready or at least when that stylist guy thought he was ready, he finally met Daniel’s gaze in the mirror and Daniel saw it in his eyes – he was actually scared. He was just so scared. On the other end of those two locked gazes Darren was met by real admiration from Daniel who was actually beaming with pride of what he saw in front of him.

The drive home was silent. Darren was still trying to remove the remaining of his make up with some tissues but only succeeded to smut it all over his face. Daniel was driving and tried not to look at his friend, as obviously something was very wrong.

The shooting went well, at least the photographers thought so, and they were to come back the next day to choose the best photos and take them to the executives for a final decision on a single and album cover. Surprisingly the company had already agreed on Darren’s choice on a band’s name – Savage Garden.

Back at the apartment Darren headed straight to the shower and when he was finally clean of his make up and nervous sweat of the day, he and Daniel both were met with the first real taste of being in the business.

A lady called Elena knocked on their door and made herself comfortable in their living room while the boys sat down on the floor next to each other in front of her and looked at her with a question.

“I’ve been assigned a manager of yours until you stand on your feet and can afford your own management who will play by your rules. For now, it’s my rules!” She smiled at their confused expressions.
“Boys, I am brought in to help. But I’ve got a very little time. I dropped by to leave my numbers, introduce myself and run over few very basic points.”
She took out a note book and in a few simple sentences shocked their little worlds to a point of no return.

“Darren. Family is nice. But if you are married, you live with your wife or you keep your mouth shut about being married altogether. And the latter is preferred.”

“Daniel. You do not pick up your partners on the street. There are nice discreet places for homosexuals, you don’t hang in cruising bars when the single is out”

“And guys… You are two grown-up men, you can not keep living together!”

And she was gone. She threw all her questions at them and left. She threw all THEIR questions at them and left. They were still sitting there, next to each other, on the floor, looking somewhere but nowhere in particular and surely both thinking of what had just been done to their perfect little world.

.... (to be continued)
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Breaking Through