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This Time Around	By : Daisygirl1315 Category: Reality TV > American Idol/Pop Idol Views: 11905 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the people I am writing about in this fanfiction. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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We were very good at hiding our "relationship", if you could call it that. We kept it hidden all throughout the continuation of auditions, toning down the flirting in front of the camera also, just to be safe.
Houston was an experience, for all of us. The "talent" was exceptionally horrible, and the fact that I was coming down with the flu did not help.
Kiira Bevins annoyed me right from the start. Something about her whole persona was just...annoying. Still, I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, figuring it was just my bad mood that made me not like her. Nope. It was her. Her voice grated on my nerves the moment she opened her mouth. I watched Randy and Simon's reactions, sure they would hate her as much as I did.
Thankfully, Simon finally stopped her.
"Randy, yes or no?" he asked, an annoyed edge to his voice.
Randy sighed. "I actually kinda like your voice, I just hate the yodel."
I stared at Randy in disbelief. Surely he didn't just say what I thought he said. Surely he couldn't have actually ENJOYED her voice?
"Nooo," she cooed, "don't hate it, don't hate it. Can I sing one more?"
"Now hang on a minute, you say you like her voice but you don't like the yodel, she yodeled." Simon said.
"Well, when she wasnt yodeling her voice sounded good," Randy argued as Kiira kept begging for a second try.
"So you wanna put her through?" Simon asked.
"Yeah."
"Well, Kiira, if you win, well hold the final on the top of the Swiss Alps." Simon said sarcastically.
"Siiimon." Kiira cooed again.
"Paula?"
"You know what bugs me about you?" I finally asked her.
"What?" she asked in that annoying baby voice.
"You're just affected." I said. "That's exactly the word I was thinking," Simon chimed in, to my relief. "Exactly."
"You're saying that I yodel?" she asked, playing dumb.
I continued, trying to convey what it means to be "affected".
"Because you put on this act, you put on this act the moment you walked in-"
"You really think that was an act?" she interrupted.
"I'm gonna tell you why," I said, "There's nothing that's humble about you right now, I can't tell if this is a put on. I was outside, I saw you, and I thought 'What a pretty girl.' You acted normal out there, and you're acting abnormal in here. Its just such an act. You've got a nice voice. So, I don't know, I'm on the fence," I said, looking at Simon.
"See I think the problem is though guys, at sixteen, it's very hard. And she's singing stuff that her peer group sings. So who do you learn from at sixteen? Christina Aguilera wanted to be Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston, everybody wants to be somebody at sixteen, at sixteen Paula, you don't know," Randy argued.
"I am about to be seventeen," she interjected, as if being seventeen would help the matter.
"I'm only talking about her voice and that should be the only thing that matters- -Is her voice good enough?"
Oooh, now I was pissed off.
"Excuse me Randy you of all people are saying that's the only thing that matters? Oh my god Randy, you are being so hypocritical!"
"Was her voice good enough?"
"I am sitting here saying her voice is and I'm saying that I can't get past the fact- -"
"This is American Idol, it's about music! It's about talent! It's about her voice, its not about anything else."
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Simon smirking as he watched mine and Randy's not-so-playful banter.
"I need a cigarette," he declared, leaving the table. I watched as he left, wanting desperately to follow him.
"I'm not talking about the way she acts. Is she good enough vocally...Kelly Clarkson vocally was great enough..."
"You know what Randy? I gotta leave because if Simon's leaving...he understands why I'm feeling this way."
I stood up and joined Simon behind the cameras, watching with disgust as Randy joyously declared that since we left the table, he was putting Kiira through.
"She's annoying as hell," I whispered to Simon.
"I know. C'mon," Simon said, taking my hand and leading me outside. He opened the door and the the fresh air hit my face, which helped me to calm down. We both sat down on the steps and he rubbed my shoulders as I let out my frustration.
"God, this process is just so damn annoying," I said, my words spilling out a mile a minute. "I don't even know why I bother, I just don't know if I can do it anymore, why do I put myself through this? All these disillusioned kids, and Randy! Randy isn't helping at all, talk about giving someone FALSE hopes! That girl, my God, she sounds like a GOAT!"
Simon just sat there, giving me a wiry grin as I vented.
"What!?" I snapped.
"You are so sexy when you're angry," he said, placing a hand on the back of my neck and pulling my face to his. A moan escaped my lips as our mouths met in undying, searing passion, tongues dancing and massaging for what seemed like an eternity. His hot mouth made its way along my jawline to my collarbone.
"No...we...can't...not here," I said, doing my best to ignore the impulses to let him take me right then and there.
"I know, I know," he said, moving off of me as I regained my composure. He kissed me on my forehead once more and helped me stand up, only to be greeted with Ryan sticking his head out the door.
"Abdul? Cowell? If you two don't get back in here, I'm gonna have to start judging these kids for ya'll...and I'm pretty sure they don't want that," he said smirking.
The rest of the audition process continued without incident. Simon and I rarely found time to be alone because Terri found it necessary to tag along for the rest of auditions. I don't really mind Terri so much- other than her voice, which absolutely drives me up a tree. She was a constant reminder that in reality, Simon wasn't mine, and that was harder to accept than I expected.
Things started to fall apart at the Hawaii auditions. Colt and I were on the in and outs, and lately it had been more of the outs, thanks to me. Sneaking around with Simon was beginning to wear on me, and I still didn't feel right about it. But it seemed like no matter how determined I was to remain faithful to Colt; one touch from Simon would bring the walls crashing down.
The last night we were there, Simon and I had a plan to meet out on the beach at approximately 10:30. We met behind a dark cove, where we were immediately in each other's arms.
We kissed for a long time, slowly, romantically, enjoying the feel of our lips on each other.
Suddenly, I pulled back from his embrace, not saying a word.
"What is it love?" Simon asked, concern laced in his voice.
I stared into the vast expanse of the ocean for a long time before I spoke, listening to the waves crash on the shore as I tried to decide exactly what I wanted to say.
"Simon, you know this can't continue after tonight," I finally said, blinking furiously to fight the tears that rushed to my eyes when I spoke.
"Paula..." he began, but I cut him off.
"Please understand," I pleaded as I stood up, brushing the sand off of me. "I don't do things like this. I can't do it. I'm not being fair to Colt, and you're not being fair to Terri. They deserve better than how we are treating them. This can't continue until we are both single."
Simon shut his eyes and ran his hands through his thick, raven hair, a look of frustration crossing his handsome features.
"I'm sorry," I said. "You have no idea how much I want this, but...it, it just isn't right."
I kissed him once more, delving my tongue in the folds of his mouth, doing my best to commit to memory everything about his kisses, because I was sure I would never have them again. Little did I know, few yards away, we weren't alone.
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This Time Around