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Cross My Heart and Hope to Die	By : krispers Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > New Kids On The Block Views: 1439 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of the New Kids on the Block. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Jordan hung his weary head in his hands.
What was his life coming to?
The sadness seemed overwhelming.
Sleep helped. It helped him escape from all the memories, the failures and the letdowns.
He couldn't escape the sense of foreboding that seemed to encapsulate him.
Why couldn't he just pick his ass up and get on with his life.
The anger that always lurked just beneath the surface began to build again.
Why the fuck did he care? He had everything he needed in himself, he needed no one.
The anger built so quickly he jumped to his feet and hurled his empty liquor glass at the kitchen wall.
It shattered in to a million glittering pieces
Jordan suddenly felt suffocated, as if he were drowning in the tiny shards.
He ran across the room, glass crunching under his boots and violently threw open the window. The icy damp air rushed in and froze his face.
He new just what he needed. He swung his jacket over his shoulder and slammed the door behind him.
The cold winter wind stung his prematurely lined face as he pushed through the doors of his apartment building. Dodging the night doorman's nosy questions he pulled up the collar of his well-worn leather jacket and hoped it would rain tonight.
The little dive bar around the corner had become his usual haunt over the past six months, when he finally gathered up the courage to drag himself out of bed.
Since she left and shattered his entire world.
He pushed the thought out of his head
Not tonight, he told himself, god not tonight
Tonight of all nights, her birthday….
The thought trailed off as he stopped in front of the grimy door
The neon sign that read Sal's flashed in red
Pressing his eyes with the palms of his hands he pushed through the door into what felt like a cave.
That was his favorite part
Low lights, strong booze
No one bothered to chat or socialize, even though he had managed to befriend a few of the regulars. It just occurred to him that Sal's smelled like a forest fire that had been successfully put out solely by alcohol and piss. A smile threatened his lips. Sal's, he thought wearily, this would allow everything to be pushed out of his mind.
His past was a monstrous beast that only alcohol seemed to tame.
"Jordan!"
Sal flashed his incomplete toothy grin at him while he filled a glass of brown liquid
"What no cocktail napkin tonight?" Jordan smirked as he took his usual stool at the dingy bar.
"Cocktail napkins are for girls and queers, and since I have none in this bar, you can go elsewhere for your cocktail napkin." The reply seemed curt as Sal sloshed the glassed down in front of him
The smile finally broke through. Jordan had often been complemented on his dimpled grin and in fact it had at one time been semi-famous.
Now Sal just chuckled at their usual introductory banter
"So you doing alright kid?" Sal asked cautiously
"Yeah"… he ignored the conversation starter. "It looks like it might rain" he returned, eager to change the delicate subject
"Well at this temperature its more likely to ice and snow" Sal retorted following the conversation lead.
Behind him the entrance bell jingled
He didn't turn around, as no one new ever came into Sal's, especially on a night like tonight. Sal nodded his head at the new comer as the chair scraped across the sticky floor. Jordan took out his cigarettes. Before he could light the one in his mouth it was snatched out.
"Hey what the fu….." Before he could finish the swear, he spun around and almost decked his best friend Donnie.
"Alright fuckwad give me a light"
"Well just help yourself"
"Don't mind if I do" Donnie smirked as he snatched Jordan's drink off the bar
He immediately spit it back out violently
"My god Jordan, you better switch to unleaded or you will rot the rest of your stomach out"
"My stomach, my rot". Jordan raised his re confiscated glass and took a sip
The amber liquid went down his throat like he had swallowed fire and settled down with a sickening warm spread. He blinked the tears that welled and stifled a cough
"Whoa Sal, not my usual"
"Well"….Sal replied with his back turned….. "I figured you would need something extra" he paused……"tonight." He finished the statement with an uncomfortable grimace as he turned back toward the shiny liquor bottles
On cue Donnie looked up
"Well friend" he announced a little too eagerly and way to loud "I think you owe me a game of darts"
Grateful for his friend's intuition and quick response he pushed away from the bar and headed for the dartboard. Their names were still there from the last game. How long ago was that he thought. The days just seemed to fly by
"Ok so will it be money or booze you loose tonight" Donnie asked as he stubbed out the cigarette
"I am boozing it tonight jackass" Jordan said menceingly as he took another tenative sip of the substance posing as alcohol.
"Well then I shall return". He did a little graceful skip move as he went back to the bar.
Jordan had just enough time to erase the remnants of the last massacre and gather the darts when Donnie rounded the corner carrying a bar tray full of shot glasses containing the same fiery amber liquid.
"Oh god it's going to be a long night" Jordan sighed as the sight of the amber liquid made his stomach flip.
"Or a really quick one" Donnie smirked
It just occurred to Jordan that Donnie's smirk, the one he used so often, had probably been the most coveted in all the world at one time. He shook his head. Why was his thinking back to those times. They both had put all of that business behind them a long time ago…… the just moved on
"Earth to Jordan, come in Jordy, Yoo Hoo! Sweetie" Donnie was snapping his fingers and doing a dance that made him resemble a leprechaun
"Oh, sorry I was off somewhere else" Jordan said shaking his mind clear
"Well if you don't move from in front of the board I will have to win with the darts in that pretty forehead of yours" Donnie laughed as he aimed a dart
"Ok I am moving "home boy" Jordan shot back as he took the nearest stool
They were well into their third round of darts and Jordan had lost count of the liquor shots they had consumed
"How can I play when the board moves" Jordan said with a long drunken slur
"That's not the board you ass wipe, that you swaying where you stand" Donnie said as he gestured to him drunkenly
He giggled out loud, "ok so do I get a handicap then"
"Not being able to hold your liquor isn't considered a handicap with me, pretty boy" Donnie replied as he kicked back another shot
"Fuck off, jerk" Jordan said enthusiastically and almost toppled over
The entrance bell jingled. Because this was an odd occurrence at this time of night he turned around to see who had just came in. Her shoes clicked down the entrance steps
The red wool scarf she had draped over her head seemed to crackle as the ice melted in the heat of the bar. To Jordan it all happened in absolute slow motion. He noticed the flex of her calf as she strode over the grimy sticky floor to the worn bar. Sals perplexed faced greeted her as if he had never seen a woman before tonight. He caught a sparkle as the diamond in her bracelet winked in the low bar light. She gestured with her long manicured hands and all Sal seemed to be able to do was nod in response. The scarf had slipped just a little as she nodded a thank you and a wisp of honey colored hair escaped. As she turned her eyes locked with Jordan's for the briefest of moments and he registered recognition in them. He closed his eyes to think. The bell jingled again and she was gone
He blinked
"Did you just"….he broke off as he rushed to the door.
"Hey where are you going?" Donnie slurred after him
He didn't pause as he burst out in to the street and frantically began scanning the sidewalk for the red scarf. She was gone, how could that be, so quickly, she was gone. Donnie came stumbling out of the door behind him
"Jordan what the fuck, it's freezing out here"
"Oh," he blinked sleet out of his eyes. He had just noticed that it was coming down. He seemed to just gape at the sidewalk. Where had she gone? He thought frantically. Donnie smacked the side of his head hard enough to make his eyes rattle and his stomach roll.
"Jordan, are you insane? Why did you run out like that?"
"Did you see her?" Was all he could manage
"Sorry pal you have had a bit too much to drink. Lets go back inside before we freeze to death" he mumbled as he tugged on Jordan's now frosty sleeve
Jordan almost sprinted to the bar when he was back inside
"Sal, who was that? Did you know her? What did she want?" It all came tumbling out over each other as he gasped in the warm humid air
"Slow down boy, I don't know her, never seen her before and all she wanted to know was where Lucky's was." Sal replied with a take it easy gesture
"Lucky's? why lucky's?" Dave said in confusion
"Did you see me have a conversation with her", Sal said grumpily he hated when Jordan got this drunk
"Donnie, I am going to Lucky's I will be right back" Jordan said as he patted Donnie on the back.
"Hold on pal", Donnie tightened the grip on his sleeve," you aren't doing no such thing. That place is no good and besides you won't get in they don't know you"
"Well they know you, get us in" Jordan slured poking a finger into Donnie chest
"I"…..Donnie hesitated…."I don't think it's a good idea tonight, we will check it out another time". Come on lets head home.
Donnie stumbled on the stairs.
"Whoa man, watch that foot work" Jordan said anxiously as he moved his arm tighter around his plastered friends waist.
Donnie grinned "5, 6, 7, 8," He slurred as he shuffled his feet. Donnie did a quick impromptu to spin and fell over.
"You should leave the spinning to me man," Jordan laughed as he clumsily lifted him off the ice-covered sidewalk.
"That was always your specialty" Donnie replied as Jordan carefully lead him towards the waiting cab.
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Cross My Heart and Hope to Die