I Am a Lucky B****

A.N: I'm REALLY happy!!! ONE person actually liked my crappy story, yay! *jumps in joy*
*ahem* To those who didn't review...that's ok, I mean some times I'm lazy too and don't review, sooooo
you are forgiven...Now,you will notice that I'm trying to move the story a little fast...come on, don't you want to get to the good part too? *wink*

Disclaimer:I DON'T own Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom...(though I REALLY wish I did), don't own any thing!
Remember? I'm poor!!!


THINGS GET INTERESTING

Knocking on the door you hear some one inside tell you to enter. With a sigh you open the door, and walk in, the whole time keeping a smile/smirk on your face.

There towards the back wall were seated the four talent agent , but what left you standing there like a statue was who else was seated in this weird version of American Idol thing. Never in your wildest dreams would you have conjured this group of people to meet in an audition...let alone have the outcome of your job on their hands.

There seated in the senter of the long rectangular desk was Quintin Tarantino(wonder if I spelled his name right?) your fav. director apperently checking out your body with a pensive look.

You've always been know for talking without thinking...and this is no exception.

"You're my favorite director and all...but why the hell are you staring at me like a peace of meat?"

You could literally hear your question echo the damn hollow room. Good thing is , he stoped staring...but he started laughing.Holding your heart you say, again without thinking, " Am I that funny to look at? SHIT!! I get this from my ENTIRE family, you don't need to join the 'Humiliate (insert your name) foundation' !!!!"

You were, ofcourse,met with blank looks followed with a min. of silence followed by laughter. Thats when you noticed that there were too many laughing voices. Finally terring your eyes away from a laughing Quintin, you , for the first time, notice the other occupants of the "American Idol of Horror" table. Unfortunatly, after noticing who the occupants were you wanted to crawl under a hole and die.

There sitting in your left was Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom right beside him...laughing at you.
After what seemed like ages, they stoped laughing one by one.

"Didn't you read the application??" asked Quintin

You stared at him with a blank look, ' shit, I knew I should have read before I signed!!!! For all I know It's probably a porn movie!!!! Wait...why am I freaking out? If it's a porn movie and Johnny and Orlando are seated right there on the table....' unfortunatly you couldn't finnish your train of thought because some one interupted your precious mind.

"I guess not...well, the character for this movie requires to look a sertain way--"

'Here it comes, " sorry, but you just don't fit the profile", or " You have tattoos, and the character doesn't" or the infamous,"sorry , but this isn't a hispanic character" '

"So that's why I was looking at--"

You decide to at least backout off it, and not let them tell you you aren't what they're looking for. You want to walk out with some dignity.

"Just get it over with...Tell me that I don't fit the profile because of my race, tattoos, piersings, or what ever other reason you may have found...belive me, I'm used to it." you said cutting off Quintin.

This time you weren't met with laughter, but with shocked faces.

"Have people turned you down for a roll because of the way you look?"

You couldn't help but notice who uttered those words. Turning to your left, you eyes meet Johnny's surpriced one.

With a chuckle you answere, " Yeah, apperently I don't fit the profile...hell, I even had a case that I did a really good job in an audition, they even called me and told me that I was the best they've seen, only to be called back the next day and be told that apparently they "miss-read" the script, and that my character was sopposed to be "cockasian" ''.

Again you were met by silence, for it once again to be broken by laughter.

' Who the FUCK is laughing at me NOW?!?!?!?!?!?!' Terring your eyes away from Johnny's , you look to his left to see Orlando laughing.

With left eye-brow twitching you ask him, "Do you find something amusing ?"

Standing up, Orlando came up to you and walked two full circles around you only for him to stop at your right.Turning you look him in the eye and lift you eye-brow, "What's up with people staring at me like meat today?"

With a chuckle Orlando asked you, "How many tats. and piersings do you have?"

With a confused look you answered,"Six tats. and ten piersings...why?

Orlando gave you a warm smile and asked again,"Can we all see them? It's obvious that you didn't put all your piersings and can we see all your tats. too?

That's it...Hell just froze.

But something about his warm smile told you that it was ok. So, you went with the flow and showed them your piercings first.

"Well, I have my left eyebrow pierced, my toungh, my belly button, three in my right ear and four on my left. And tats.....well let me show you."

Turning your back towards the "audience" you lifted up your black baby-tee to reveal your biggest tattoo.
A pare of white beautiful wings coverd your intire back. After a minute of silence you put your tee. down. and take off your two bracelettes that, one in each wrist to reveal on your right wrist to reveal a snake with something written in Chinese in the background and on your left wrist the sign of the ram.

"There...happy?" you ask Orlando who looked at you in a very strange way.

After snapping out of it he asked, " But you only showed us three tats. where are the other tats.?"

Surprizecingly he seemed disapointed, and with a chuckle you answere, " Well the fouth's on my right ass cheeck...it says "your name" "

With a bewildered look Orlando asked, " You tattooed MY name on your bum?"

With a roll of your eyes you answere, " No morron, I tattooed,"your name" on my ass...get it? Your name?"

Within five seconds the intire room was filled with laughter, funny thing is , is that yours was included.....


TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!
Plz. ppl. R&R!!!!!! You know I love reviews, It makes me feel special!!!!
Again if you so much a like it review and tomorrow I'll update again....in fact, If I get enough reviews to satisfy my fancy, then I might update dayly!!!

With much love from my little black heart,
ThornFrost