Way Reality, The Best of Bad Jokes

Disclaimer: Same as before.

A/N: Remember, this is the end of the story at the beginning.

Way Reality, The Best of Bad Jokes

Chapter One: On the Line

Saturday, June 22, 2006

Mikey handed Gerard a Kleenex as the church doors opened and the bride appeared. Alliana looked up and smiled, tears in her own blue eyes.

Classic cream dress, belled skirt, cream gloves on hands clutching a bouquet of red and black roses. Slowly she made her way down the aisle, smiling through her tears.

All too soon and all too quickly Alliana was standing across from Gerard, who finished dabbing at his eyes to smile at her. 'I love you.' he mouthed.

'I love you, too.'

Time stood still and went too fast--and all the other overused cliche one tries to avoid--until Alliana's maid of honor tapped her and handed the bride an idex card with her vows on it.

Tearing up for the third time, Alliana barely glanced at her card. "Gerard, the first ime I met you, I was just another teeny-bopper and the first words out of my mouth were 'I love you'." Mikey hid a smile behind his hand. "But the second time I met you, after Mikey lockd us in the bathroom," everyone laughed, "I knew I found someone who, even if I couldn't spend the rest of my life with, I knew I'd never forget."

Gerard's eyes well up again as Alliana took a deep breath. "So ten minutes of kissing in the bathroom turned into ten day of kiss wherever." She smiled. "And after four years, I can honestly say there is no one else I'd offer myself up to and no one elsee I'd would rather spend my life screwing up with." He smiled at her. "And this is so cliche and so tacky, but you're a part of myself I never knew was missing."

Gerard reached over and wiped at the tears on Allian's face. 'It's okay.' he mouthed.

"I love you, Gerard."

"My turn?" Gerard asked Mikey out of the corner of his mouth after Alliana stopped crying.

"Yeah." he mouthed back, trying not to smirk.

Gerard smiled at his bride. "Okay. We all know I suck at writing speeches and keeping secrets, so if I had written something out youwould have already hear it and know how bad it was."

The crowd laughed and Alliana gave a choked sort of giggle.

"The first time I met you, I thought you were absolutely insane. And while I still maintain that, it's a better kind of insanity. I never planned to fall in love with the woman who managed to make my blender explode the first week I was dating her." Alliana smiled. "But I did. And it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

"In these four years I've learned as much about love from you as I think I've taught you about kitchen appliances, which is a lot." Alliana was giggling by now. Leave it to Gerard to make her laugh during their wedding vows. Then the man across from her grew serious.

"You've taught me that it's okay to give people parts of yourself and that if you aren't willing to lay yourself out on the line for it, then it's probably not worth it. You taught me that the small things make up the big picture and that picture isn't worth a thousand words because there's no way to describe it in words. And my only regret is that I didn't propose to you earlier.

"Falling in love with you scared the hell out of me." Mikey turned a laugh into a cough behind his hand. "And it took seeing you kiss my brother to make me realize that I can't ever lose you. When you see your girlfriend kissing your brother and the only thing you're thinking about is that you're going to lose her, it's time to propose."

Alliana grinned, eyes welling up again.

"So, I promise that I'm not going to wait anymore to do the things I should do. And I love you. I promise I'll give you the rest of my life without question and love you without conviction."

Alliana's hand flew to her mouth as she fought off tears.

"And now the exchanging of rings."

Alliana exchanged her bouquet for the ring as Mikey handed the ring to Gerard along wtih another tissue. "It's fine." he whispered. "Deep breaths."

Gerard nodded and turned back to his bride. Alliana smiled and stamped her foot and she started crying again.

And they both repeated the words after the minister spoke them, slipping rings onto the other's finger. "With this ring I thee wed and encircle you with my constant love, faith, and devotion."

There was some more speaking, but neither Gerard nor Alliana heard it as they continued to hold hands.

"By the power vested in me by the state of New Jersey, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You make kiss the bride."

Alliana through her arms around Gerard's neck as they shared their first as a married couple, her lips finding his.

*

Alliana found Mikey after her and Gerard finished the first dance. "Help me." she begged, grabbing him by the hand and dragging him into the hallway.

"With what?" he asked, laughing.

"This dress. The skirt's supposed to come off and--"

"I thought you were going to save that for the honeymoon."

"God, shut up, Mikey." Alliana shot back, laughing. "No, there's another skirt under this one because there's no way in hell I'm wearing this thing for the reception. It's hot. But I can't figure it out."

I took about ten minutes and several humored wedding guests laughing at the confusion before the pair found the snaps that allowed the gauzy outer skirt of Alliana's four thousand dollar wedding dress to be removed. Now it was a much simpler skirt that stopped reight below the knee.

They entered the room again and Mikey turned to her. "I think I'm supposed to dance with the bride, right?"

She smiled. "I believe you're right."

He clutched at her hand as his other rested on her waist while they shared a dance. "You look beautiful, you know that?"

Alliana blushed. "Thank you."

"What did you guys drink of chamagne?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"Cider." she said. "Well, I drank cider. He drank club soda, I think. He hates cider."

"I know, believe it or not."

"Shut up, Mikey."

"You know, they should just change the name of the show to that. You guys say it at least fifteen times a day."

"Well, most people would take the hint." Alliana shot back, laughing. "How's your speech coming?"

"You don't want to know." Mikey said. "I asked Frankie to help me. I couldn't think of a damn thing. Anything I have to say would be far too incriminating." As the dance ended, he kissed her cheek. "You really do look beautiful today."

*

Alliana sat down in Gerard's lap a few minutes later. "Is it rude to go out for a smoke at the reception?" she asked after they shared a kiss.

"No. I think it's rude for you to go through nicotine withdrawal at our wedding. Go have a smoke."

After she left, Gerard turned back to his friends and smiled. "God, she's gorgeous."

"By the way, Gerard." Frankie said, looking up from his glass of chamagne that he was making faces at. "Great vows."

"Shut up."

Frankie laughed. "No, really. They were good. But a lot of the guests are probably wondering about Alli and Mikey making out now."

Gerard laughed. "Yeah. Forgot about that part. Oops." He looked up. "Be back. Gotta go dance with the maid of honor."

*

Mikey had followed Alliana outside for a cigarette and they were talking, mostly about the wedding and laughing about the cameras following them and the camera operators pestering them for monologues.

"Okay, okay." Alliana said finally. "One question."

"What were you thinking as you walked down the aisle?"

Alliana bit her lip, a habit she had picked up from Gerard. "Well, at first I kind of thought . . . well, it was like a dream. All these people staring at me and Gerard up there with Mikey and my maid of honor, Sarah, and then Gerard looked right at me and it was kind of like waking up, I guess. You know how you wake up and you're still kind of dreaming, but you know it's a dream? It was like that.

"And then it all just hit me. You know, this is supposed to be the happiest day of my life and you know what? It's not."

Mikey stared at her and the camera operator's eyes widened considerably.

"This is the second happiest day of my life." Alliana continued. "Because the happiest day of my life is when he said 'I love you' for the first time."

Mikey grinned and kissed her cheek. "Scared me there for a moment."

"Mikey, did you ever think that when you locked Alli and Gerard in the bathroom that you would be the best man at their wedding?"

"No way in hell." Mikey answered. "I thought they'd have sex and that would be the end of it. I was shocked enough when they started dating."

*

Mikey and Alliana walked back inside, still laughing about Mikey's comment. Cameras at her wedding. She never would have imagined.

But then again, she never would have imagined cameras following her around for the past year of her life either.

***

Okay, so there's chapter one. After this chapter we will go back to the beginning of their first year on camera. And since the show is starting there will obviously be several monologues and antecdotes about backstory, so you should get your information there.

R&R please. I know this is a fucked up story and it's het, but let me know if you like it . . . puh-lease?