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Crimson blue	By : weelow Category: Dir en grey > General Views: 1685 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Notes: So band is having some problems. Let's take a closer look exactly what is going on.

Crimson blue

Chapter two: Kaoru wouldn’t like it.

“Kyo, what are you doing?” Kaoru asked with great bad prediction and hangover in his voice.
Man, who was sitting on the floor facing the corner of the room, turned his head to look Kaoru.
“You look like hell.” He said.
“Well thank you Kyo. You sure know how to make people feel good about themselves.”
“You sound like hell too.”
“And I feel like hell too. You happy now? And don’t change the subject.”
Kyo turned his face to the corner again.
“I’m counting.”
“You are counting”, Kaoru repeated. “What are you counting?”
“Seconds.”
Kaoru watched little blonde’s back and did not say a thing.
“I’m counting seconds. They turn into minutes”, Kyo whispered. His voice faded away.
And still he just watched the corner of the white walls.
Kaoru decided to leave the poor boy alone.
He was feeling the headache getting stronger now he needed to worry about Kyo also. La:Sadie’s little vocalist had always been a bit wacko, but now…Kaoru did not know how to handle.
Maybe if Kisaki would have act more like a bandleader he’d tried to solve problems, not create ones. Though Kaoru wasn’t sure if it was completely Kisaki’s fault that the voice of their band was in a situation just observed, but he sure wasn’t trying to help.

On the other room Shinya was eating noodles and reading a newspaper.
“Konnichi wa, Kaoru-kun”, he mumbled a mouth full of noodles.
“Hello hello, Shin. Where’s Kisaki?”
“With the guitars.”
“Is he in one of his moods? In a really bad one?”
One glance from Shinya told Kaoru everything he had to know.
“Ok…” he sighed and continued in a third room.
Shinya’s serious eyes followed older man’s way and then he watched his noodles again. He knew what was going to happen, what was about to said, and he didn’t felt like eating anymore.

Kisaki tuned his bass. Hearing someone come he looked to the door. His expression darkened.
“Have you been drinking? And where’s Die? You were together, right?”
“Kisaki-san…” Kaoru nodded.
Anger pierced Kisaki’s eyes and he turned to his bass again.
“Where are the new chords?” he asked.
“I don’t have them. I haven’t made anything new”, Kaoru sighed.
“Why’s that? You’ve been just lazy, right? Drinking and partying with Die. You except the others to do the whole job for you?”

Kaoru felt his blood running faster through his veins. This was just one of Kisaki’s bad days he tried to convince himself.
Not an expression chanced in Kaoru’s face. Somehow this just seemed to make Kisaki more angry.
“You think this whole band just breaths with you, right? That you’re the big star of this shit? That when you ain’t working, no-one else haves a clue what to do?”
“You know that’s not true, Kisaki. Most of the songs are greatly inspired by other band members or composed with them”, Kaoru said quietly.
“Right! Like all five last songs which you write all by yourself! It’s like you’re trying so hard to be the best. Best of everything. First composing in such a sacrificing oneself-way. Look at me, I’m the only one working here! And then running in to the bars with no cares in the world. Flirting with every living and moving thing, am I right? Feeling like a king of the world?”

“You’re not making sense Kisaki. Do you want me to compose or not?” Kaoru was losing his temper little by little. And what his flirting bothering Kisaki that much?
“If you want to compose in this band, you need to do it in some kind of fucking balanced tempo. It’s sure ain’t that we’re willing to breath, eat and shit with your cycle though you would like it!”
“You know writing chords isn’t that easy!” Kaoru shouted.
“Oh, now it isn’t? So maybe you should stay and rehearse it, not shoving your tongue in every boys ear!”
A hot blood made Kaoru blush. It wasn’t like was ashamed of Kisaki’s accusations, it was just that he remem-bered something, some old memories, and in that second Kaoru realized why bassist was all over his face.

It happened in a bar. They were all there but they didn’t all know each other.
Kaoru remembered that he was first time introduced to someone. And that someone was Daisuke Ando, a red-headed bomb who had two sparkling eyes and who danced like a god.
Kaoru was still able to remember Die’s soft movement in the dance floor where he was making some girl very happy by dancing with and for her. It was like boy would have been moving just for to tease every pair of eye of the bar. The way he slowly swung his hips along the beat was probably something Kaoru would never forget or even wanted to.
And after a few hours Kaoru remembered how he boosted by alcohol was whispering something to Die’s ear and then slowly kissed it and yes, now he remembered clearly, he truly had licked it and it had made Die laugh. And then Kisaki had come and said something about leaving poor Die alone, not molesting him.
And they all had laughed, drank some more Jack Daniel’s and started to talk shit.

So, Kisaki was in love with Die. All this flew through Kaoru’s mind in a seconds.

*

Outside of the room Shinya and Die stood and looked at each other with eyes full of panic.
Die felt rage because of how Kisaki had treated Kaoru. It was so outrageous. Die had known Kisaki was having some problems with Kaoru composing their songs but that was no reason to treat guitarist that way.
Die clenched his whist and was about to run inside and scream some swears to the face of Kisaki but Shinya stopped him. He grabbed Die’s hand when it rose to push the door.
Younger boy looked serious and there was still some terrified expressions in his eyes but his voice was steady when he whispered:
“Please do not, Die. Kaoru wouldn’t like it.”
Another boy watched Shinya’s face and lowered then his hand slowly.
“I suppose you’re right.”
They heard Kaoru’s controlled voice saying:
“I’m sorry to cause you so much trouble Kisaki-sama. I promise to work something out for tomorrow.”
Die and Shinya felt like something breaking in their hearts, hearing Kaoru giving in in front of Kisaki’s made-up accusations, Kaoru’s always calm voice using highly polite expressions of Kisaki.
Shinya’s head fell so that his chin touched his chest and then his hand slowly rose to the door handle.
This time Die stopped Shinya to entering the room.
“We’ll solve this later.”
Shinya looked Die’s eyes and then nodded. Die took sad looking Shinya under his right arm and they walked away from the door.

“Well I’m fucking glad”, Kisaki said slightly surprised. He sounded more calm.
He has always enjoyed the sound of ‘–sama’, Kaoru thought.
“And I’m not going to drink with Die or anyone anymore. I think it’s time for me to stop drinking like that. I think I’m going to spend some time alone, composing and stuff”, Kaoru said.
Because if Kisaki was in love with Die, it would be better if he wasn’t there between them causing more jealous behaviour from the leader. It would loose the tensed atmosphere a bit, Kaoru hoped, and it would be the best for the band. And the band was the thing that mattered. And Kaoru really was the one licking Die’s ear after all.
“That’s good”, Kisaki said more surprised and then silence filled the room.
Kaoru felt himself like some cheap hooker. It was like something very important in his beliefs was gone, missed and forgot, smashed into tiny pieces and blown to the darkness.
His head felt heavy and Kaoru sat down. Kisaki on the other hand was suddenly feeling great, whistling and smiling.
“You’re too old for bars, Kaoru-kun!” He said laughing but Kaoru wouldn’t even smile.
Kisaki’s friendly way of speaking seemed like some bad joke. It was a memory of better times which seemed so far away. It felt like there never existed something like friendship between them.
More and more Kaoru felt like crying because of what they had become. Kisaki forcing him to take a knee in front of him, and him taking that knee, at the expense of his friends, at the expense of Die. But he did not cry. Only his heart sobbed, one long scream into the silence of his suddenly very cold soul.
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Crimson blue