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The Adventures of Alice Nine	By : animefan810808 Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > alice nine. Views: 1462 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of alice nine. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Episode 1 - Hair Scare
- 2-Attack of the.....WHO?!?!?!
- 1
- 2
Disclaimer: I do NOT own the members of Alice Nine. It's my goal though. This NEVER hppened. Though.....it would be funny if it did. And I am in no way connected to the band. Though I wish I was.
AN: I don't know if Alice Nine is actually like this in private. I just thought it would be a funny story, which it is. So if you want to bash my head in because you think I am cruel......so be it. However, for the sake of comedy, I hope you can take a joke. On with the show!
The Adventures of Alice Nine: Attack of the.....WHO?!?!?!
The members of Alice Nine just finished up their latest tour, and they were having a little party to celebrate their success. As usual.....Saga was drunk.
Saga was trying, unsuccessfully, to dance the music blaring throughout the room. "Heeeeey! Shooouuuu!!" He was spitting all over the place and slurring his words.
Shou was completely ignoring his drunken friend. "Tora, why did you bring out the sake already? I thought we said we would wait this time."
Tora popped his head up from behind the bar. "Hey! I did wait." He pointed a finger in Saga's direction. "He stole it."
Hiroto snorted at Tora's comment. "Figures. Can't you do anything right, Tora?" He walked away to avoid an argument and grab a soda.
"He," Shou paused trying to grasp what Tora had said. "Stole it?"
Tora rolled his eyes. "Well duh. That IS what I said." He went after Hiroto prove to him that he COULD do things right. Also, to make him suffer.
Over across the room by the couch, Saga was making his way over to Nao. "Naoooo!" He sat down next to Nao on the couch. "You wittle defil." He paused for a moment. "Hehehe.....devvvvil."
Nao stared in shock at Saga, then proceeded to scoot to the other end of the couch as far away from him as possible. "Why is it always me?"
Saga noticed that Nao had moved away, so he decided to scoot after him. "Naooooo! I like the way your hands work those dicks......" He paused again. After realizing what he had just said he started to laugh.....really loud. He leaned towards Nao and almost fell off the couch. "I mean sticks.....drumsticks. I just left the RUMST out." He laughed again.
Nao stared at Saga, not knowing what to do. "Umm.....Ummmmm......Please go sit somewhere else Saga. You're starting to scare me." Nao grabbed a pillow from behind him and shoved it in Saga's face. Saga pouted at his failed attempt to kiss Nao.
Shou had been listening to Tora and Hiroto argue by the T.V. He glanced over in Nao's direction and his eye twitched. Saga was already harassing Nao. He walked over to the two and plopped down on the couch in between them. "Saga, what the hell are you doing?" He eyed the swaying blonde. "Why do you ALWAYS act like this when you are drunk?"
Across the room, Hiroto and Tora were progressively growing louder. "Weeeellll Shou." Saga spat out Shou's name leaving a drop of spit on his face.
Shou glared at Saga and wiped his cheek. "It's times like these I'm glad there are only one of you."
Tora and Hiroto were still arguing. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?" Hiroto stood on his tippy toes to get closer to Tora's height. "I AM NOT A FRUIT!!"
Tora laughed. "I was only stating the obvious. Come on Hiroto, you know you take it up the-" Tora's statement was interupted by a loud knock on the door. He turned to look in the direction of the noise. The person on the other side started to knock louder. "What the hell."
Tora headed over to answer the door. The visitor was still knocking. "Chill the fuck out! I'm coming! I'm coming!" Apparently SOMEONE couldn't take a hint. That someone had now switched from knocking to banging. Tora opened the door. When he saw who it was he slammed the door in their face. "HELL NO! SHOU!!"
Shou looked up from his seat on the couch. "What?"
Tora walked back to Hiroto. "YOU deal with that shit!" The banging turned into pounding.
Shou sighed. "Fine, fine." He grabbed Nao by the arm and lifted him off the couch and away from 'God's Gift to the World.' Nao instantly obliged, clinging to Shou as his special defense. He glanced over his shoulder at 'the wolf' and hugged Shou's arm.
Shou headed toward the fron door and opened it. "Hey Sh-" A door was once again slammed in the visitor's face. "COME ON YOU DICKS!! LET ME IN!!" Everyone stared at the door in shock as their visitor started to scream at the top of his lungs. "IF YOU DON'T, I'LL TELL YOUR NEIGHBORS YOU'RE HAVING A MASS ORGY!!" The voice went silent for a moment. "TOO LATE!!"
Shou gave up and opened the door. "Get in here! What the hell are you doing!!" Shou's eyes went wide as the man threw himself on Shou and tried to kiss him. Fortunately for him, he could not be forced into a kiss that easily...by ANYONE. "Get the hell off me Miyavi!!" Shou pushed his attacker away.
"But.....Shou." Miyavi proceeded to make puppy dog eyes at the vocalist. "I thought we were FRIENDS!"
"You idiot!" Shou glared at the other singer. "Friends don't suck faces like that!!"
Nao, Tora, and Hiroto could only stare at the two men arguing in front of them.
Saga's voice interrupted everything. "Whhooooooeeeeee!" They turned to look at the drunk man on the balcony. "Loook at all the teeeeeny little people!!"
Shou sighed. "Saga! No! Bad!" Shou rushed over to Saga but it was too late. He had already thrown the house plant over the edge.
"Bye byyyyyeeee floooower!! I like flowers." Saga started to lean over the edge a little too far. "I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE MY FLOOOWWERRRSSS!!!!" Right as he was about to fall, Shou grabbed him causing both of them to fall to the floor.
When Shou realized he wasn't dead, he opened his eyes and came face to face with Saga. The other man just so happened to fall...right...on top of him. "Oh god..."
Saga grinned and looked down at Shou. "Call me whatever you want, baby."
Tora, Miyavi, Nao, and Hiroto all let out a gasp at the same time. Saga....was kissing Shou.
Nao was the first to make a move. "Hell....no." He charged his way over and grabbed Saga as hard as he could. Nao started dragging him into the living room by the ankle.
"Who the hell knew that he could do something like THAT." Tora laughed at Nao's display of hidden strength.
Miyavi started to bounce up and down like a happy school girl. "What the hell is your problem." Hiroto glared at the other man's idiocy.
"That little jig they did reminds me!!" Miyavi was still hopping around. "Let's play spin the bottle!"
Saga suddenly pulled away from Nao who had been dragging him toward the bathroom, most likely to drown him in the toilet. "Did you say spin the bottle?!" He skipped over to Miyavi. "OMG!! THAT'S MY FAVORITE GAME!!!"
"Now wait a minute." Shou pulled himself off the floor and wiped his mouth. "We need to vote on it." The room went silent.
Miyavi smirked at Shou. "Who's in?" He raised his hand.
Saga raised his hand so fast he almost hit Tora in the face. Luckily Tora had seen 'The Matrix' a total of ten times and was able to dodge it. "Meeee! Oh oh oh oh oh!! MEEEEEE!!"
"What the hell, Saga." He rubbed his face where he had almost been smacked. "Watch where you aim that thing!"
Hiroto looked at Tora. "Okay fine..." He slowly raised his hand.
Shou glared at Hiroto. "Traitor...."
Hiroto's eyes went wide. "WHAT?!"
Tora saw Hiroto's hand in the air and raised his as well. "You guys are just like kids," He sighed. "This is so annoying."
Miyavi clapped his hands. "It's anonymous! We play!"
Hiroto stared at Miyavi. "Anonymous? Don't you mean UNANIMOUS?"
Miyavi paused his clapping. "Isn't it the same thing?" Hiroto snorted in response.
"But....but...." Nao started to pout. "I didn't get to vote yet."
Hiroto folded his arms across his chest. "It doesn't matter." He rolled his eyes. "Nobody cares about your vote."
The others stared at Hiroto in silence.
"What....the....HELL??" Saga could NOT believe what he had just heard.
"That's it shrimpy man!!" Tora Grabbed Hiroto and put him in a head lock. He proceeded to give the other man noogies of death. "WHAT. DID. I. TELL. YOU. ABOUT. SAYING. THINGS. LIKE. THAT?" One for every word.
"Okay! That's enough! EVERYONE SIT DOWN NOW!!" Shou took a deep breath to get himself under control.
All the others stared at Shou's sudden outburst.
"Duuuude," Saga felt the need to comment on Shou's lack of control. "Chill out...."
"I SAID NOW!" They all silently obeyed and sat in a circle. Saga grabbed his empty bottle of Sake and set it in the middle.
Saga sat down next to Hiroto who was sitting next to Tora. Hiroto and Tora refused to look at each other. So instead, Tora was forced to look at Miyavi seated to his right. Miyavi was sitting next to Shou and trying desperately to get him to talk. Shou was of course.....in no mood to talk to him. He was too busy watching Nao shift uncomfortably next him. Saga had a huge grin. He got to sit next to Nao.
Nao stared at Saga, thoughts running through his head, 'not him not him not him....'
Saga cought Nao watching him. "Why are you looking at me like that?" His grin growing wider. "Is that longing I see in your eyes, Nao?"
Shou let out a snort. "Saga? How did you manage to sober up so fast?"
"I heard the words 'spin' and 'bottle.' Those will sober me up faster than a cop on a rampage!" He laughed at his own cleverness.
Tora was getting sick of all the small talk. He reached out and spun the bottle. Everybody's eyes focused on that shimmering glass that never seemed to stop moving. Finally, the bottle stopped.
Nao didn't quite get it. No matter how many times he played this game it always seemed to be a new experience for him. "What does that mean?"
"Shhh." Shou nudged him as a sign for him to be silent. "Just watch."
Miyavi was staring at the bottle. He looked up at Shou. "But....I wanted to kiss someone el-" His sentence was interupted.
Tora thought he should just end it quick. He wasn't playing the game to kiss THIS guy. He grabbed Miyavi by the shoulders and closed the distance in a swift motion. The other man wasn't even done talking yet.
Miyavi just sat there as he felt warm yet hard lips crushing his own. "Mmmmmm!! MMMMM!!!!" He tried to voice his protest at the fact that he could no longer breathe, but it was in vain. Everyone was too shocked to hear him. One of them was just plain pissed, and it clearly showed on his face.
In a flash it was over. However, for the two that had taken part in the so called kiss, it had felt like an eternity in hell.
Miyavi was gasping for breath. When he had finally gotten his breathing under control he was able to let his attacker know just how pissed he really was. "Why the hell didn't you let me breathe?! Jesus! What the fuck is your problem?!?!"
"Yeah," Tora rolled his eyes. "Now it's MY fault you don't know how to kiss." He could feel Hiroto glaring at him from behind but chose to ignore it. "Why don't you gain some experience and THEN come back?"
Miyavi's mouth dropped open. "Why you....I'M GONNA-"
"Hiroto, it's your turn." Shou, always the parent, got the situation under control. Again.
"Huh?"
"Since Tora just kissed Miyavi, we are going clockwise. So it's now your turn."
Hiroto stared at Shou as he spoke. "But I-"
"Just spin it already!" Nao slammed his hand down on the carpet. He was getting sick of Hiroto.
The room fell silent. Hiroto was too shocked by Nao's outburst to make a comment. He spun the bottle.
Once again the bottle was spinning with all eyes locked on, as if it would either save.....or end....their lives. The bottle froze. Hiroto lifted his head up in the direction of his 'partner' for the turn. The room was still silent.
Hiroto jumped when Tora started laughing like a madman. "Now THIS....I wanna see."
"It's not," Hiroto gave him a not-so-light punch on the arm that silenced him. "Funny."
Nao looked at Shou who had gone completely silent. "Shou?" No response. "But....but....SHOU??" Still no response. Nao looked at Hiroto. "Hiroto I-"
"Shut up!" Hiroto gave Nao a deathglare. Shou still hadn't said anything.
"Shou," Nao whined. "I don't WANT to kiss Hiroto." Shou still didn't respond. "Do I HAVE to? Can't he spin again?"
Saga stood up. A true player in this game above all games, He couldn't understand why Nao and Hiroto were pussy-footing around. "SPIN AGAIN?!?!?!?!"
Tora put a hand up and tried to calm Saga down. "Saga just-"
"You're going to kiss NOW!" Saga had that determined look on his face. The one that said 'If you don't do as I say, you will suffer.'
Nobody moved.
"THAT'S IT!" Saga grabbed Nao and Hiroto and all but smashed their faces together. He refused to let go until the timer went up, despite their constant squirming.
After the 'kiss' Nao was choking and struggling for breath. He made his way back to Shou with tears in his eyes. Hiroto gave Saga a deathglare that could kill a baby penguin. However, this was Saga. So it had no effect. He only laughed at the smaller man.
Miyavi jumped up and gave Saga a high-five. "ALRIGHT!!" They both grinned. "THAT'S how you play the game! What sportsmanship Saga!"
"Of course!" Saga sat down. "We can't let them ruin the game!" He turned his attention to his 'victims.' "Seeeeeeee?? That wasn't too bad!"
Tora glared at the crazy blonde man. "Shut the fuck up Saga."
"What did you say?!" He raised a clenched fist. "I oughta.....wait a minute." He relaxed his hand. "Is it MY turn?" Shou nodded his head refusing to look at the idiot in front of him. "ALRIGHT! Which one of you is going to be MY bitch?" He spun the bottle after being told to shut up by four people. Everyone byt Miyavi, who of course, thought the entire thing was hilarious.
The bottle started to spin and then slowly came to a stop. Saga scratched the back of his head. "Well, that's not what I was expecting." Shou was once again completely silent.
This time, it was Hiroto's turn to laugh. "How does it feel to be someone's bitch for a change?" Tora answered his question with a deathglare. Hiroto responded with one of his own.
Tora looked at Saga for a moment. He considered the idea, and then decided against it. "Fuck no. I am not kissing THAT."
Saga's eye twitched. "Shut the fuck up! You can't talk to 'GOD'S GIFT' LIKE THAT!" His voice rising steadily with each word. Silence. "Well?"
Tora sighed. "Yeah..."
"We might as well-"
"Get this over with." Tora finished the other man's sentence. They both sighed at the same time.
"You know," Saga leaned toward Tora. "We might as well make this look good."
"What?"
"Well after that last kiss," Saga glared at Hiroto who responded in kind. "This game could go down hill."
"What?"
"I'm telling you," Saga leaned a little closer. "To make it look good."
"What?"
"You know," Saga waved his hands trying to get through to Tora. "Sexy. Have you heard that word before?" He thought for a moment. "Probably not. But do you understand?" Tora's face contorted and his eye twitched a few times.
Shou was growing tired of this game. "Can you just hurry the hell up?" The sooner it was over, the sooner he could have some peace.
Tora glared at Saga, thinking to himself. 'I will NOT be his bitch....oh no. But he's about to be MINE.'
While Tora was mentally cursing Saga, he hadn't noticed the other man snaking his way towards him. He was jolted back into reality when Saga placed his arms around his waist. All Tora could do was stare in shock as he felt Saga's breath on his neck. He heard him mumble the word 'sexy' and shivers ran up his spine as the vibrations tickled his ear.
Tora wanted revenge for this and he knew just how to get it. He raked his fingers roughly through the other man's hair and pulled. He pulled Saga right to him.
Saga was shocked that Tora was actually going along with it. He had expected him to put up a fight. He just didn't know it would be THIS kind of fight. 'So.....he wants to play?' Saga put all his force into that kiss. Exploring Tora's mouth as if it was the last thing in this world he would ever get to taste. He further deepened the kiss when he heard the guitarist moan in pleasure.
Shou checked the watch. "Hey you guys, time's up."
Nao looked over at Shou with a curious expression on his face. "I don't think they are listening."
Miyavi was hugging his knees wondering why his kiss with Tora wasn't that good. "No fair."
Shou was beginning to get irritated. "Times up!!!" Shou glanced at Hiroto for support. However, his band mate was too busy giving Tora a surpreme deathglare to notice him. He stood up determined to end this. "TIME!! IS!! UP!! YOU GOD DAMN SEMES LET GO OF EACH OTHER!!!"
Tora broke away from the kiss when he heard Shou's voice ripping through his mind. His eyes locked onto Saga's and he glared as 'God's Gift' smirked evily at him.
"Finally," Shou let out a sigh of relief. "What the hell you guys. I thought you were going to kill each other by suffocation."
"Oh I'm going to kill him all right!" Tora lunged at Saga with his hands headed straight for the cocky j-rocker's throat. "SAAAGAAA!!!"
Nao jumped up in shock. "OMG!! Shou! Do something!"
Shou stood there staring at Nao wide eyed. "WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?!?!"
"BE MANLY!" Nao shoved a finger at the mess. "GET IN THERE!"
Hiroto calmly took a drink of his soda. Ignoring the scene before him while Miyavi was clutching his stomach from laughing too hard.
Saga was trying to pry Tora's hands off his neck and gasping for breath. "You.....know....you....liked it." He coughed out the words, barely able to breathe. At this comment, Tora's hands squeezed tighter. "Can't breathe......let......go."
"Never!!!" It didn't seem like Tora would be letting go any time soon.
"Wow," Miyavi had finally gotten over his laughing fit. "These guys are insane. I'm going to have to crash their parties more often."
"SHOU! GET THE HELL IN THERE BEFORE THE KILL EACH OTHER!!!" Nao shoved Shou right into the tussel.
Shou, having no choice, proceeded to pull the red eyed bull off of its victim. "Let go! I said," Shou pulled harder. "LET!!! GOOOOO!!"
Tora finally released Saga and flew onto his back due to Shou's final tug. Silence filled the room. Deafening silence.
Shou got to his feet and shot the idiots of the game a dirty look. "Never.....Do that again." He paused to catch his breath. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE PARENT HERE!!" Tora and Saga flinched with every word.
Clap...clap...clapclapclapclap. All eyes turned to Nao, who immediately stopped clapping and turned bright red. "But...He was so manly..."
"Nao," Hiroto looked at Nao from over his can of soda. "You are an idiot."
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO HIM?!?!" Tora was about to get up when he looked at Shou and froze. "I'm....just gonna...yeeeahhhh." He looked at the ground.
"Now," Shou gave everyone in the room 'the' look. "Get yourselves under CONTROL! Or else this game is finished." All the players settled back into their positions without a word.
"Hey Nao!" Miyavi was waving his hand at Nao trying to get his attention.
Nao eyed him warily. "Yeah?" Miyavi gave him a thumbs up. "Why are you doing that?"
"Well," Miyavi's grin grew wider. "I clapped with you."
Nao thought about it for a second. "No you didn't."
Miyavi pointed a finger towards his chest and batted his eyes at Nao. "I did in here." Nao decided he would not speak to Miyavi the rest of the night and promptly looked away. "Nao!" No response. "Heeyyyy Nao! I'm talking to you, Nao!"
"Please," Nao sheilded his face so he wouldn't have to look at the bouncy vocalist. "Please go away."
"But nao! It's your turn!"
"I said go," Nao paused. "What did you say?"
Miyavi had a huge grin on his happy little face. "Your. Turn."
"Yeah," Shou chimed in. "Spin."
Nao was in disbelief. "Will you just spin the bottle already!" Hiroto, once again, took charge over Nao. Silently, Nao reached out and spun the bottle.
Saga being the great sport as always, chanted as the bottle spun. "NAO! NAO! LOOK AT THAT SPIN! SEE WHICH MAN IS THE BITCH YOU WIN!"
"Lord," Shou layed his head in his hands. "Kill me now."
Finally the bottle stopped. Nao stared at Hiroto in silence. "Well?" Hiroto asked, not liking the fact that Nao's eyes were locked on him.
"What?" Nao, still clueless as ever.
Hiroto sighed. "This is the part where you kiss him."
"Huh?"
Tora was oddly silent for once.
"Come on Nao, just do it." Saga was calm about it since he had already put Nao through enough trauma.
Miyavi was pouting in a corner since it was the last spin of the night and the bottle hadn't landed on him. Shou stared at him, then spoke to Nao. "Well come on Nao. We don't have all night."
"I can't do it!" Nao turned a deep shade of crimson. "I can't kiss you Shou!" He sucked in a huge gulp of air.
"Ummmm," Shou stared at him, not quite understanding. "Why not?"
"Well," Nao started playing with the bottom button of his shirt. "I....I....I just." His face got even redder.
"I don't get it," Shou scratched the back of his head. "It's just a game."
"But.....that kiss with Hiroto didn't count," Nao stammered. "And I-I've never...."
Saga and Tora stared at the drummer. "No....fucking way." At the same time, they both voiced their shock.
Saga leaned forward an eyebrow raised. "You've never kissed anyone before?"
Tora pointed a finger at Nao. "What kind of man are you!" Hiroto gave Tora his famous deathglare. "Oh....right. Sorry."
Nao shot them all 'the' look. "SO WHAT?! SO I'VE NEVER KISSED ANYONE BEFORE!!" Tears streamed down his face. "WHY DO YOU GUYS CARE?!?! SO YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF ME?!?!" Nao jumped to his feet and took off at top speed towards his room leaving everyone else silent.
"Well guys, it's been fun. But see ya!" Miyavi headed out the door leaving a shocked group of j-rockers behind.
Hiroto sat down his soda. "That was akward."
Tora sighed shaking his head. "Poor Nao."
"And since when do YOU care?" Saga glared at Tora accusingly.
"Look who's talking!" Tora shoved a pointed finger in Saga's face. "Mr. Let's-get-drunk-and-rape-Nao-like-a-piece-of-meat!!"
Saga's blood pressure began to rise. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"ALL OF YOU!! SHUT UP!!" Shou got up and went after Nao.
Nao was sitting on his bed when he heard a knock on his door. He wiped his tears. "Yeah?"
"Nao? Can I come in?" It was Shou.
"I-" Nao hiccupped. "I guess."
Shou opened the door. When he saw what a mess Nao was he felt the urge to console his friend. "Look Nao," He took a deep breath. "It doesn't matter if you've never been kissed before...."
"But they said that I wasn't-"
"Don't listen to them!" Shou's eyes held an intensity Nao had never seen in them before.
"I..." Nao wiped his nose on his sleeve. "but..."
"You're still the same man we've always known. Nothing about that has changed okay?"
"Yeah." Nao slowly nodded his head. "Thanks Shou."
"Well," Shou took another deep breathe. He wasn't very good with on the spot speeches. "We're bandmates. We're best friends. I'll always be here to cheer you up. You should know that by now."
"Really?"
"Of course." They stared at each other in silence, neither one knowing quite what to say. "I'm going to go to bed now." Shou turned to leave. He glanced back at Nao from over his shoulder. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah." Nao stood up still clutching his pillow. "Shou?"
Shou turned around and looked at Nao. "Yeah?"
"Can I?" He squeezed his pillow tighter. "Can I sleep in your room tonight? Like a slumber party?"
"A.....slumber party?"
"Yup!" Nao grabbed something off his desk and showed it to Shou. "I have a flashlight."
"Ummm.....sure."
"Yay!!" Nao hugged Shou and took off skipping down the hall.
Shou leaned against Nao's bedroom door. "This has been a rough day."
~END~
AN: Okay. Another episode completed. This one is a bit longer than the last chapter. I was on a roll when I wrote this one. hehehe. Anyways. Be kind, and review. I thrive on reviews. They are my own personal battery source. So please don't let me fade away! Review the stories! Also....I take ideas. Yesh.....yesh I do. Email me if you want to become a muse! Anime_fan810808@hotmail.com. Looking forward to hearing from you! May the comedy continue!
~Jade
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The Adventures of Alice Nine