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A Dangerous Face an An Almost Illegal Taste	By : druscillaryan Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Panic! At The Disco Views: 1303 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Panic! At the Disco. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A Dangerous Face and an Almost Illegal Taste
Part Two

With his eyes, Ryan had begged Spencer for another massage after their performance. The four band member were eating at an outside table while Spencer rubbed Ryan’s shoulders through the thin material of a tee shirt. “You really should go to a doctor, Ry.” he said. Ryan huffed and Spencer resisted the urge to smack the back of his friend’s head, instead letting his hands fall and resuming eating.

Ryan didn’t know if he felt bad because he had been mean to Spencer or because his shoulders hurt again. He didn’t turn back to the table, knowing his friends would see the guilt in his eyes. So he did feel bad for Spencer. That was refreshing, in a way.

His eyes danced around the scene in front of him, finally lighting on a man who was staring at Ryan through his cigarette smoke. The boy turned back to the table quickly. That man was Gerard Way and he was notorious for his tour hook-ups.

Ryan felt Spencer’s eyes on him and he knew that if Spencer didn’t know yet that he would soon. Spencer stared at Ryan, knowing that he was missing something that was right in front of him. Or beside him at least. He brought a hand up and started rubbing Ryan’s right shoulder idly. Brendan glared at him and Spencer fought rolling his eyes. If you had him you wouldn’t know what to do with him, Urie. Being best friends with Ryan was not the picnic Brendon thought it was. Both Spencer and Ryan knew this.

Ryan abruptly stood up, startling Spencer from his thoughts and earning half finished sentences as he walked away without a word. Spencer and Brendon’s eyes met before Brendon made a move to stand up and follow. “He doesn’t need a baby-sitter.” Spencer snapped, surprised at his words and tone. Brendon spared him a disdainful look before following his bandmate.

“Hey, Ry. Ry!” Brendon quickened his pace to catch up to the brunette.

Ryan took a steadying breath, turning around. “Yeah?”

Brendon paused, clearly not knowing what to say. “You okay?”

No. “Yeah, Bren, I’m fine. It’s just . . . hectic, you know?” Ryan wasn’t good at outright lies, but he was a first-class bullshitter. Smack some sense into me, Brendon. “I’m going to go back to the bus. I’m going to try to write.”

“Oh, okay.” Brendon said, slightly put off. Ryan turned to leave, but felt a hand grab his arm. “Remember that we need to pick up sleeping pills.”

Ryan smiled. “Yeah, Bren. Thanks.” Brendon did care about Ryan and he didn’t dislike Spencer as much as the words that sometimes came from his mouth would lead people to believe. He was simply a jealous kid who wanted to make sure he was needed. He clapped Ryan on the shoulder before turning and walking back toward where Jon and Spencer were still eating and talking.

Ryan casually glanced over his shoulder and he meandered in the direction of their bus. There he was, lighting a new cigarette and walking in the same direction as himself. Ryan felt like a cheap whore, but he felt beautiful at the same time. Gerard’s affairs were always with attractive men, men that looked like they would come from paintings. Ryan’s shoulders tensed slightly more.

Gerard was apparently as smooth as marble. Ryan didn’t even know he had programmed his number into the older man’s cell phone until the memory emerged while he was lying on his bunk trying to write. The bus door opened and Spencer walked in, going to his bunk to get his iPod.

“What?” Ryan snapped, daggers in his eyes.

“I didn’t say anything, Ry.” Spencer said, trying his hardest not to sound patronizing.

Ryan winced. “I, uh . . . sorry.” He looked away when Spencer turned his eyes toward him, worried about what the younger boy would see in his eyes. He let out a sigh when Spencer sat down on the edge of his bunk, leaning down and gently massaging Ryan’s shoulders. He felt sick inside, almost angry with himself for how much he fucking needed this.

“Ryan, we get a break in two weeks between the legs of the tour,” Spencer began. “You need to do to a doctor.”

“I—“

“You need to go to a doctor.”

“But—“

“I’m not always going to be around to give you these.” Spencer said, leaning down and resting his chin on the hand that was now motionless on Ryan’s shoulder. “Promise?”

“I don’t—“ He screeched as Spencer’s hands suddenly flew to his sides, tickling his waist. “Not fair!” he managed between laughter and tickles. “Spencerrrrr . . .” he whined.

“Ryyyyan.”

“Okay, okay! Just stop!” Ryan was panting when Spencer finally let go of him. “Asshole.” he said, sticking his tongue out.

Spencer just grinned. “Get anything done?” he asked, nodding toward Ryan’s notebook.

“No.” he answered, scowling. “Hey, Spence?” His eyes flicked upward. “Do you think—“

The door of the tour bus opened again, Jon and Brendon staggering in, shrieking with mirth. Spencer’s eyes were sympathetic. “We’ll talk later.” he promised Ryan, standing up and walking toward the living room to keep Jon and Brendon occupied while Ryan composed himself. Something was wrong there, Spencer knew. Something was wrong right in front of his face. Why couldn’t he figure it out?

“I think they finally lost their minds.” Ryan said, emerging.

“Finally?” Spencer asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I resent that!” Brendon cried, still giggling as he fell onto the couch. Jon fell half beside him, half on top of him.

“You would.” Ryan said, snorting and wrapping his arms around Spencer’s neck from behind. “You’re warm.” he said randomly.

“Ryan loves Spencer!” Jon exclaimed, causing both him and Brendon to erupt into another fit of laughter.

“I’m losing brain cells just being around you.” Ryan said. “Come on, Spence. Let’s go.” He tugged his friend out of the tour bus by his hand. “Do you have any idea what they were laughing about?” he asked.

“Something nobody else would find funny probably.” Spencer guessed. “Where are we going?”

“I don’t know.” Ryan said, but he was smiling and eagerly tugging on Spencer’s hand. Laughter is infectious, like a disease only more welcome. It was apparent in Ryan’s smile, in his blissful tone. And his laughter infected Spencer as the pair of them walked into the afternoon, searching for nothing and enjoying the moment.

If Spencer had known that it was going to be the last afternoon where Ryan’s smile was whole and his eyes weren’t broken yet he would have done more, said more, lived more. Instead he just went along with Ryan’s whims, smiling but unaware.

* * *

Ryan got a text message on his phone around nine. What are you up to, kid? Kid.

Ryan snorted. Playing Candyland and watching Sesame Street. He typed into his phone, smirking. How’s the nursing home?

Ryan’s ringtone sounded a few moments later. Touche.

“Who are you talking to?” Brendon asked from the end of the couch the two of them were sitting on. Ryan shrugged. “Is it your girlfriend?” Brendon teased. “Oh no. You’re having a love affair with that girl from Paramore, aren’t you? Just remember to use protection.”

Ryan picked up a pillow and threw it at him, fumbling with his cell phone keys as he did. I’m just sitting around the bus. Watching some stupid movie and listening to my friends be idiots. Same old thing. He turned his phone onto vibrate while he waited for a response.

Want to go for a walk? I’ll meet you outside your bus.

I’ll meet you halfway. Ryan texted back. He did not want his friends, especially Spencer, to know who he was going to talk to. Gerard’s reputation was too well known. He didn’t want people finding out about him through rumors of a fuckfest.

Okay.

Ryan stood up and walked toward the bunk area, grabbing his green jacket and putting on a scarf. The scarf wasn’t really necessary but he liked the way it made him look, the mix between grown up and dress up. He casually checked his reflection in the mirror on the open bathroom door. He stepped out of the room, walking toward the door. “I’m going out, guys. I’ll be back in awhile.”

“Need a condom?” Brendon asked. “I think Spencer has a few left.” The three of them laughed at that, Spencer’s face turning scarlet. Ryan quietly covered his laughter. Spencer was so embarrassed about sex that one couldn’t help but tease him. His best friend had been so great to him earlier though, that he felt he owed him something.

“See you.” Ryan said, opening the door and stepping outside. He inhaled deeply, walking toward the figure he could see emerging through the impending darkness of the evening. “Hey.” he said offhandedly, trying to seem older than he was. His face betrayed him. There was no mistaking the curved, slightly feminine, adolescent structure of his features.

Gerard smiled slightly, putting a cigarette to his lips and lighting it. He offered the box to Ryan who shook his head. They stood there in silence for a moment, Ryan crossing his arms awkwardly and shuffling his feet, until the older man started to walk slowly away from the busses. The younger boy followed him, still not saying anything. “I heard you guys did a good show.” Gerard said, breaking the silence.

“It went all right, yeah.” Ryan said. “I think they liked it.”

“I’m sure they did.” Gerard replied, smiling. “You’re the writer, yeah?” Ryan nodded. “You’re good at it. My brother bought your CD a month ago and I swiped it.”

“You like our CD?” Ryan asked, almost timidly. What was wrong? This wasn’t like him. Ryan was not shy. He was secretive at times, which could make him appear withdrawn, but he was not shy.

“Yeah. It’s original. And good. You guys are talented.” Ryan gave a sound halfway between a nervous laugh and a giggle. In the growing darkness he couldn’t see Gerard fighting a smirk. His mind could sense it already, but he couldn’t here.

There was no going back.
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A Dangerous Face an An Almost Illegal Taste