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To Love A Rock Star	By : avadedrahetarra Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > S.K.I.N. Views: 1649 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of S.K.I.N. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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I decided to go ahead and post the first two parts at the same time. Saves the trouble later, eh? XD Enjoy!

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II. Miyavi: An Honor, A Gift, and A Curse

I was sixteen when he went solo.

I remember sitting in my room, picking out chords and melodies on a beat up, hand-me-down, acoustic guitar, and listening to the radio, just hoping they’d play his song again. Then I’d hear the opening violin and that was it.

At sixteen, I fell in love with Gackt.

His voice, his musical style, his looks. It was all perfection. I didn’t care that he was ten years my elder, or that we were both male. I was in love with the man.

In the years that I was with Due’le Quartz, I harbored my obsession quietly, fearing ridicule from my band mates. I had always hoped for a chance to get close to him, but our bands’ styles were much too different for paths to cross. Besides, GacktJOB rarely stayed still long enough to do much more than fall over on its back and play dead for a few hours. Gackt’s life revolved around his music, it seemed.

Alone in my apartment, I would imagine myself as part of his band, his family. Childish, I know, but I wanted to be part of something great, something huge and wonderful. Something more.

Due’le finally fell apart and I was free to pursue my own ends. I was young, in my twenties, and I poured everything into my music. My heart and soul, my blood and sweat. Every part of me was in my music. There was no beat, no melody, no chord or lyric that I hadn’t mulled over, cried over, stressed and rejoiced over.

In essence, my life began to revolve around music as well.

I was twenty-five when Yoshiki approached me.

“Miyavi, this is Yoshiki,” my manager told me one day with a ‘please-tell-me-you-know-who-this-is-or-so-help-me-I-will-brutally-murder-you’ look in his eyes.

“Of course I know who Yoshiki is,” I answered coolly, setting my acoustic aside and unfurling myself from my chair. “I wasn’t born yesterday; I listen to X-Japan.”

Yoshiki’s smile was infectious.

“I have a proposition for you,” he said, launching straight into business, a habit I’d find endearing only later. “Can we talk over lunch?”

My manager wouldn’t let me refuse. So, at a café near the PSC building, we talked, and he asked me if I’d like to play guitar for him.

“Of course, you’ll be sharing the stage with me and two other old hands in the business.”

“Who?” I asked, my innate curiosity winning out in the end.

“Sugizo, formerly of Luna Sea,” he said, and I nodded. “And Gackt.”

My poor manager nearly had a heart attack with my squeal of delight. Yoshiki, on the other hand, took the whole scene coolly, unphased by the stares that I was drawing.

“You’re kidding? Right? Gackt? The Gackt?”

“Miyavi, my friend,” Yoshiki said smoothly, “if I didn’t know any better, I’d mistake you for a fan girl.”

Thoroughly knocked from my happy cloud of joy, I settled back down, well aware that I was as red as the shoes on my feet. I took a moment to appreciate Yoshiki’s calm nature and made a mental note to ask him how he did it later.

“I would be honored,” I finally managed to spit out. “That is, if it’s okay with my manager.”

Seeing as he still couldn’t breathe properly, he merely nodded and waved his hand in a shooing manner. I smiled and hugged him, scaring him further until he had to leave the café for fresh air.

“First, though,” Yoshiki said, twitching the pressure of the braces on his wrists slightly, “I’d like you to join myself and Sugizo at JRock Revolution in Las Angeles. That way, we can announce that you’ve come aboard. Everyone already knows about the three of us.”

I agreed willingly.

“It’ll be a while before we’re able to get all four of us together. Gackt’s working on a few other projects right now, and can’t possibly get away from them.”

“Of course,” I said quickly. “His TV show, right?”

Yoshiki nodded.

“So it will just be the three of us at Revolution. After that, schedules will clear up enough for some work to be done. The only thing is that we’ll need to be in L.A. when we do meet. It’s easier for me, and Gackt will be there recording anyway. Sugizo’s going to stay in town for a while after the convention, so we’ll only be waiting on you.”

The details were worked out through my manager and his staff, as I have a bad habit of forgetting important things sometimes. Though, I doubt I could have forgotten this even if I had tried. Yoshiki let me hug him briefly as we parted company, patting me on the back in a brotherly manner.

“Remember, I’ll see you at Revolution,” he said, walking backwards down the hallway and smiling.

“Of course,” I called after him. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

He vanished out of sight into an elevator and I ran down the opposite direction, yelling loudly and hoping that Kai and his band were still in the building.

The Gazeboys took me out that night to celebrate my good fortune, and I endured rounds of torment from Ruki and Uruha because I blushed whenever Gackt was mentioned. But I didn’t care, because these guys were big softies and would never slander me. Too badly. Besides, we had way too much dirt on one another for anyone to start anything.

Rip drunk, I fell into my bed at four in the morning and dreamed of the future.

I played JRock Revolution with pride and passion, moving even myself to awe. Afterward, standing next to Sugizo as Yoshiki MCed, I was struck for the first time in years with a bad case of stage fright. Here I was, twenty-something year old Miyavi, formerly Miyabi of Due’le Quartz, a veritable nobody, and I was going to play alongside the likes of Yoshiki, Sugizo, and Gackt.

Yoshiki, the man who had left Japan after the death of his best friend and had produced the labels for some of the biggest names in the business, who was one of the best damn skin beaters in the world, and who had an eye for talent that no one could dare challenge. And Sugizo, a guitarist who’s skill was only equaled by Ken and Kaoru, and perhaps one or two others. Then there was Gackt, the one whom some had dubbed the ‘sex god of Japan,’ the one that most women fell over in tears for, the man whose icy exterior was taught to him by none other than Mana himself, and the one among us who would move entire continents to frenzy by a single smile.

I didn’t belong here.

Before I could give in to my terror, I heard my name being called and the screaming of thousands of fans. I suddenly wanted a strong drink. I suddenly wanted my mother. I suddenly wanted a strong drink AND my mother.

Yoshiki motioned me forward, and I went, letting a smile bloom across my face to hide the sheer terror and anxiety that were eating my insides. I felt trapped, caught. I was in this now, and there was no way out.

I managed to make it to my dressing room before I threw up.

Weeks later, I came face-to-face with my idol. He was easier to be around than I had ever thought, and I felt myself relax after the initial shock of being in his presence wore off. He was a lot hotter in person than I had imagined, though, but I managed to keep myself in control. Barely.

Leaving Yoshiki’s house for a made up meeting, I set about wandering through L.A. I realized that the feelings I’d developed when I was sixteen hadn’t faded in the slightest. If nothing else, they’d only grown, morphed into an all consuming burning at the base of my heart. And being around him had only fueled that fire until it was an inferno racing through my veins.

I had never felt so excited and afraid in my entire life. I could only hope to survive the months to come.
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To Love A Rock Star