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Nobody's Home	By : EmilyRose Category: My Chemical Romance > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2243 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A/N: Thanks to you who reviewed, and this is for Alex!
Yes sir, I'm continuing this story just for you!
But it takes a quite weird twist, but bare with me!
It has many surprises to come!

Disclaimer: the song I'm using in this part is 'Nobody's Home' by Avril Lavigne.
I just switched all the she's to he's and so on.

--

I couldn't tell you why he felt that way,
He felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help him,
I just watched him make the same mistakes again.

--

A kind word from friends doesn't help.
A hug from family and relatives doesn't help.
Nothing helps.

A day doesn't go by without my mind wandering towards my baby brother.
The love of my life.

I know it's my fault, but everyone tells me it isn't.
But what would they say if I told them?
If I told them why Mikey killed himself?

It doesn't really matter anyway.
Days fly by, even though I never do anything.

I sleep all day, trying to force myself to dream about Mikey.
Mostly its bad dreams, but I don't care. Just as long as I get to see his face.

Mother once told me that Mikey loved me more then anything, that I was his favorite. She didn't know how right she was. I was Mikey's everything, but I let him down. If I hadn't, he'd still be alive. I'd still be woken up by his loud music, and his obnoxious singing in the shower would still be bothering me.

But there's nothing.
No giggles coming from his room when he reads his silly comic books.
No footsteps outside my door when he comes to wake me up.
No warmth next to me in the bed when he wants to sleep with me after a bad dream.
There's just nothing.

I've thought about killing myself, about ending it all, but that's not what Mikey would want. He'd hate me for it, and I can't stand the thought of him hating me.

Although it shouldn't really bother me.
I love Mikey, I really do…
But I hate him.

I hate him for leaving me alone.
I hate him for making me hate him.
I hate him for filling my days with tears and sobbing.
I hate him for destroying my world.
And mostly I hate him, because I love him so much.

But I can never hate Mikey more then I hate myself.
For turning him down, for lying to him, for not kissing him again and again.

I cry every time I think about the fact that I will never again get to feel the warmth of his lips on mine. I'll never again hear his voice, as he tells me about his day.

There's just silence all around me.

No ones bothering me anymore.
Mom had given up her attempts to get me to leave my room.
And dad never really tried that hard, because he knew I wouldn't come out anyway.

There's just one person that I can even stand to see.
One person that I don't turn my back on.
One person that is allowed to hold me as I cry.

Frank.

--

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.

--

I knew it was him right away, as I heard the soft tapping on the door. I scrambled off my bed to open up and let him in. Yes I had developed the habit of locking my door. That way no one bothered me without my knowledge.

My feet touched the cold floor and I couldn't help but shiver from the sudden coldness. With a sigh I finally stood up and walked slowly towards the door. On my way there I passed my mirror and flinched at what I saw.

My black long hair was dirty and messy. My face pale, making me look like a ghost. My once lively eyes looked like two brown dots in my lifeless face. My lips where chapped and dry. But somehow I didn't really care. I had no reason to look good, no one cared anyway. And neither did I. I didn't want to look pretty for anyone except Mikey.

"C'mon Gerard, open up, please."

I tore my eyes away from the disgraceful picture of myself and continued towards the door. I unlocked it slowly, almost carefully.

When I opened it I revealed a tired looking boy with black hair and many tattoos.
He flashed me a smile that I couldn't return and I simply stepped to the side to let him in. I hadn't smiled since Mikey died. I had nothing to smile for anymore.

"How are you?" His voice was careful, like he wasn't sure if he should ask me that or not. I don't blame him. I reacted differently to that question every time. Sometimes I screamed, sometimes I tried to hit him, sometimes I broke down in sobs and sometimes I just shrugged.

This time I did nothing, I just sat back down on my bed, stepping carefully over the many items on my floor.

I had gone through many stages of grief.
I had been angry, throwing things around in my room. Kicking at my furniture and banging my fists hard against the walls.

I had been sad, crying for days, howling so high with sorrow that my voice left me.

I had been in denial, sitting in a corner with my legs pressed to my chest. Just waiting for Mikey to come home from school and join me in my room to talk or cuddle.

I had been self destructive, taken pills, drinking dangerously high amounts of liquor.

Frank had saved me from dying, more then once.
In my angry stage he let me run around, and he didn't stop me until my fists started bleeding.

In my sad stage he held me, and let me cry for as long as I wanted, soaking him completely.

In my denial stage, he had held me, whispering that I had to accept Mikey was gone.

In the self destructive stage he grabbed the pills from me and flushed them down the toilet before pouring out the booze I had left. He ignored my pleas and simply waited until I fell to my knees begging him to hold me. And then he did.

Truth is, without Frank I would have been dead a long time ago.
He was the only thing that kept me sane, and he was the only one that refused to give up on me. Even though I almost never talked to him, he still stayed with me for hours and hours. He even spent the night sometimes, when I clung to him as he got up to leave. When I looked at him with silent tears running down my cheeks.

Those times he gave a slight smile and joined me in my bed, holding me close, letting me rest my head on his chest to listen to his heartbeats.

Sitting next to him on my bed I didn't know why I let him help me so much. Maybe because he had been Mikey's best friend.

He let his hand fall onto my shoulder, and I felt him give me a light squeeze. I tried to tare my gaze away from my red carpet, but I just couldn't face him. I didn't feel like I deserved this. He just gave and gave, and never asked for anything in return.

Sometimes I felt I should tell him the truth, especially when he had his arms around me, whispering that it would all be okay someday. But I never did. I didn't dare to, what if I scared away the only person I trusted?

Finally I tore my eyes away from the carpet to meet his eyes. He had a sad expression on his face, like he always had these days. I guess it was partly because he missed Mikey, and partly because I was so miserable.

"Please tell me something, anything." His voice was hoarse and dry. He sounded like he hadn't slept for days. Maybe he hadn't.

"I can't." I whispered, and the sound of my own voice scared me a little. I felt him move closer and wrap one arm around my shoulders, like a best friend. Like a brother… That thought scared me, and made me feel guilty again.

"GET OFF!" I yelled, standing up. I turned my back against him so he wouldn't see me crying. However I think he new, because my shoulders shook as I sobbed quietly.

"Tell me what's wrong, why are you acting like this?" I heard the desperate tone in his voice, the tone that I heard more and more as the days passed by. These last five months had been filled with others pleading with me to do something. But the last few days he had begun pleading with me as well. Pleading that I would talk to him, that I wouldn't push him away.

I slowly turned around to face him again. Then I did something I didn't mean to, I just did it anyway. I slapped him. Hard. He looked so shocked; I think I've never seen his eyes be so big. He didn't even react at first; he just stared at me with his mouth wide open as I slapped him again.

"GET OUT, I HATE YOU!" I cried before turning around again and falling to my knees. I heard him stand up behind me, and I heard the door slam shut a few seconds later as he left.

Now I was alone, as it should be. I didn't deserve a friend like Frank, I didn't deserve anything. I didn't deserve to breathe even.

Slowly I stood on my feet, my vision blurred from crying, and walked into my bathroom. This time Frank wasn't here to stop me. I knew Mikey would hate me, but right now that didn't matter.

All that mattered was that I didn't want to feel like this anymore, because it hurt too much. All I knew was that the pain was too much. The pain searing through my heart, the pain making me feel sick, and the pain that made me slap my best friend when he just tried to help me.

I needed out.

--

He wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where he lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry his eyes.
Broken inside.

--

A/N: So... more?
Well then, rate and review damnit! xD
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Nobody's Home