Britpop Circus
ACT ONE, scene two
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Scene two
(In the room where Blur practices and creates new songs. The tv is on. All members are in.)
Alex, turning up the volume: There he is, there he is!
(Noel Gallagher shows up on tv.)
Damon: Ooooh, I hope he saw us. I hope he saw Alex’s t-shirt.
Dave: Sssh!
Noel: …hope they catch AIDS and die.
Damon: Whaaaaaat?! Who’s he talking about? I didn’t hear it…
Alex: You and me.
Damon: And he thinks he can say that in front of a national audience?
Alex: Apparently. How nice of him.
Graham: What the hell’s wrong with that band?
Damon: Hey, you think they planned this?
Dave: I don’t think so. I think this is Noel’s opinion. He’s the only one in Oasis stupid enough to say something like this. Can’t imagine Liam saying it.
Alex: Yeah, you’re probably right…
Damon: I can’t believe they just let him say that. It’s like the cruelest thing to wish for. People are dying of AIDS everywhere and he uses that to insult us.
Graham: They won’t let him get away with this. Look, they’re already giving him bad comments.
Damon: Thank god. I was afraid the whole nation would agree with him.
Alex: The whole nation bought our single, not theirs, remember?
Damon: You know what I was thinking?
Dave: Well?
Damon: Noel Gallagher probably thinks Alex and me are sleeping together.
Alex, spraying his orange juice everywhere: Aw, man?!
Damon: We would pass the AIDS on to each other. It makes perfect sense.
Alex: So he was calling us gay as well.
Damon: I guess.
Alex: So he was insulting us twice.
Damon: It depends whether you’d be insulted when being called gay.
Alex: Yeah, alright. That’s not really an insult.
Damon: I bet the Gallagher brothers think it is. Their loss for being narrow-minded.
Dave: I’m hungry. You want a pizza as well?
Damon: Love to!
Graham: Who’s paying?
Dave: I am.
Alex: Thanks, Dave!
Damon: After ‘country house’ I’m sure we could afford ourselves a pizza.
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