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Haggard Strip Tease	By : bloodhill Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 1885 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of complete fiction, none of this ever happened and no profit was made. I don't know or own any of themembers of HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. I know NO ONE. no profit made.

Chapter List
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Another chapter for this three part series, from cassandramalfoy and I.

Chapter.2 You Wouldn’t Take No For An Answer

Ville walked into the club, though the sign out front read ‘closed’, but the doors weren’t locked, employees were muttering about inside the club. He took a second to glance around, noting how different the place looked without a bunch of bodies cluttering it.

“We’re closed.”

Ville looked over towards the voice, instantly recognizing the person as a stripper from the night before, Missy. With a smirk he walked towards her. “I doubt you remember me,” he held his hand out. “But I was here last night.”

Missy smiled, shaking his hand. “I remember you,” she turned away from him, going back to her prior task of sorting through a box of receipts. “You’re the guy who kept trying to get into Bam’s pants last night.”

Ville blushed a little at that, he had come off as a bit desperate, at least, in his eyes, he did. He wasn’t used to hitting on people, usually; it was the other way around. Ever since they hit it big with Join Me in Death, he hadn’t picked up on people much. “Right, my name‘s Ville Valo,” he smiled, leaning against the bar. He was hoping he could get Bam’s phone number from the girl, or at least he could find out if he worked that night so he could come back and try again. “You know, you’re a very…” He looked her over; trying to decide on what was the best course of action. If she was a vain girl, she would like compliment of her hair, or clothes, if she was a deep girl, maybe saying her eyes were beautiful would help, and if she was a bit self-conscious, saying she was intelligent might get him somewhere. “You have gorgeous shoes,” he smiled, before pushing his hair out of his eyes and grinned a very charming smile. “And you seem extremely intelligent-” Before he could comment on her eyes, Missy cut him off.

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Missy told him, her smile still on her face. “Plus, Lynz wouldn’t appreciate it very much,” she tsked, before turning back to the box.

Lynz wouldn’t appreciate what, very much?” Said bartender asked, coming out of the back room, a rather big box in her hands.

“Ville, here, was trying to charm some sort of information out of me,” she told her, not taking her eyes away from the box. “If I had to guess, I’d say it was about, Bam,” she finally lifted her gaze, focusing it on Ville.

He smiled at her, shrugging his shoulder before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. “You caught me, I was wondering if I could get his phone number from you.” His smile grew.

Before Missy could answer, Lynz called. “Bam! Get your skinny ass in her!” She placed the box, which rattled with the sound of bottles, down behind the counter, before turning to Ville. “You can ask him yourself now.”

Bam came walking out of the back, a box of his own in his hands. “What?” He asked, struggling slightly with the weight. “Oh,” he gasped, slightly shocked to see Ville there, he thought the other man would of lost interest after a night of sleep.

Ville moved away from the bar, going around it to the other side. “Let me help you,” he didn’t quite know why he decided to help Bam with the box; it wasn’t like Bam was weak, and couldn’t carry it himself. It was an impulse move, something he acted on before he even thought about it.
But, Bam let him take it anyway; watching as Ville set down near the one Lynz had carried.

“You know a true gentleman would have offered to help the lady, before the man,” Missy pointed out, sending a look from Ville to Lynz, before turning back to her box of receipts.

Ville rubbed the back of his neck, ignoring Missy’s comment before turning to Bam. “Can we talk?” He asked, placing his cigarette back to his lips.

Bam nodded before leading him over to a table in the middle of the room. He sent a look towards Lynz and Missy, who had stopped what they were doing, looking directly at the two. “You mind?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Missy’s face flushed a little, before getting up from the stool, moving to follow Lynz into the back room.
“Fine,” Lynz called, giving Ville a pointed look. “You need anything, Bam, just call. I have a room full of glass bottles back here,” she told them, making sure to emphasize the last couple of words, wanting Ville to know her meaning behind them.

Ville laughed a little nervously, watching as the two left to the back, before turning back towards Bam. “She’s a butch, one, huh?” He joked, taking a seat next to Bam.

Bam laughed as well. “Which one?”

“The one who threatened me with a beer bottle,” he laughed. “Where’d she pick that up, prison?” Ville had meant for it to come out as a joke, but by the look on Bam’s face, he hadn’t seen it as one.

“Right,” Bam said, nodding slowly. “Cause, we work in a strip club, so it’s common knowledge that we’ve all been in prison or grew up in broken homes.”

Ville’s face paled a bit, he hadn’t meant anything by the comment. “No, I didn’t…”

“Look,” Bam said. Standing from his seat. “Why don’t you go bug someone else because I need to work so I can pay my child support and all, cause you know, that’s the type of person I’d have to be, to work here.”

Ville groaned, feeling like a complete ass, he didn’t know how such a little joke, blew up in his face so badly. “Bam, wait,” he grabbed Bam’s wrist, making him stop. “Look…I didn’t mean anything by that, I was joking…I just…I only came here to get your number…I want to take you out for a drink, I think you’re nice…and funny…” He trailed off, not really knowing why exactly he was so interested in the boy, any other time he would have walked away from a person if they turned him down. But not with Bam, ever since he laid eyes on him, he knew he wanted to be with him, to spend time with him; he knew there was more than meets the eye when it came to Bam.

Bam pulled his wrist away, keeping his back to Ville. “I have to go, I need to help bring the new bottles up front…and get ready for tonight…I’m going to be center stage again,” he told him quietly. “See ya.”

Ville watched him go into the back room, a smile on his face. After all, Bam hadn’t told him no on the phone number, and he had purposely pointed out that he was center stage that night. To Ville, that was as good as an invitation.

----

Ville put his cigarette out before being let pass the beefy bouncer blocking the front door. He kept a straight face as he walked towards the bar, noticing the familiar brunette standing behind the wooden counter, exchanging words with a customer. “Hello, sweetheart,” he smiled, trying to be as charming as possible with the girl.

Lynz’s eyebrow twitched at that. “What can I get you?” She asked, after shooing the other customer away.

“Bam’s phone number,” he told her, she just scowled at him. “But I’ll settle for a shot of Jack,” he smiled, getting a nod in return. “Thank you,” he told her, accepting the glass full of dark liquid. He turned so he was leaning against the bar, his eyes focused on the main stage.

“He’s not on yet.”

Ville turned his neck, so he could look back at the bartender. “Hmm?”

“Bam,” Lynz told him, motioning to the stage. “He’s won’t be on for another ten minutes.” A clatter to their left caught both of their attentions. A man with a shaved head and a long, skinny face had just dropped a bucket of dirty dishes on a man. “Steve-O!” Lynz called, pointing at the man. “Those dishes are coming out of your paycheck,” she told him, before mumbling something about ‘incompetent busboys’. “You better go get a good seat,” she told Ville, motioning to the filling seats towards the main stage. “Once Dunn announces that Bam’s going to be on, the seats will fill up,” she told him before moving to a new customer.

“Thanks,” Ville said, before moving off towards the few empty seats. Most of them were taken up by large groups, it seemed like the place was frequented by bachelor and bachelorette parties. He finally found one, off to the right side, between a group of giggling girls, all dressed in pink and purple, with fuzzy hats and crowns on their heads-bachelorette party- and a group of what looked like blushing eighteen year old boys, out hitting the strip joints for the first time.
Ville ignored them all, as he sat in the hard wood chair, waiting for the main show to take place.

Ville smiled as Dunn announced Bam’s arrival to the stage, he vaguely noted that more chairs behind him were quickly being filled. He watched as Bam went on stage, he noticed as the stripper caught his eye before quickly looking away, he smirked at that. He let out a small laugh, the sound odd and cute at the same time.

Bam tried to keep his gaze from the green orbs staring up at him. Usually, he was pretty good at ignoring the crowd, pretending his was just dancing in front of an empty room, but there was something about Ville that dragged his attention to him. He kept glancing down, watching as Ville sipped at his drink, smirking and every now and then, winking at him, making Bam blush.
He closed his eyes, hoping that it’d help him get his concentration back on dancing. Slowly, he started moving his hips, wrapping an arm and leg around the pole in the middle of the stage, swinging around it a couple times before pulling back and throwing his torn black muscle tee to the crowd, listening with delight as girls screamed and giggled as the purposely ripped shirt landed near the front. He would never admit to it, but part of him had hoped that Ville would have caught his stage shirt. With his mind back on track, he continued dancing to the nameless beat playing through the loud speakers.

Ville raised an eyebrow as the group of bachelorette’s next to him screeched over catching the tattered clothing. He raked his eyes over the group of girls, wondering if they were high or just drunk, to make them act like a bunch of fan girl thirteen year olds. Just as he was about to look away, ready to focus his gaze back on his entire reason for returning to the club, his eyes caught a pair of green-gray ones. A woman, with long dark brown hair, a thin body, with very feminine curves, and a wide smile was staring back at him. He could tell by the heat to her cheeks, she had been screeching with the rest of them, he was sure of it. With a frown, he turned back to the stage, his frown deepening upon realizing that he had missed Bam taking off his pants, he was dancing around in a pair of tight black boxer-briefs, and skater shows. A very pleasing sight, but he still would have enjoyed watching the strip tease. From the corner of his eye, Ville noticed the girl switch seats with her friend, sitting directly across from him, no more than three feet away.

“Hello,” she said, not quite shouting, but loud enough for him to hear.

He gave her a bored look, hoping she’d get the meaning. “Hm,” he grunted, turning back to the scene of Bam dancing on stage.

“He’s amazing, right?” She asked, trying to get his attention on herself.

“Beyond,” he answered.

“Yes,” she nodded, before cringing-Ville doing the same- as her friends let out a loud screech, all clearly drunk and working their way to plastered.

“Your friends are annoying,” he told her, hoping it’d insult the girl and she’d turn away.

“I’m sorry,” she said, truly sounding it. “My names, Jonna.” Her friends screeched again, one of them waving over the bartender.

Lyn-z looked on at the girls in the bachelorette bridal party who were screaming their lungs off at the sight of Bam doing his thing on the main stage. She was used to the female bachelorette parties freaking out like they’ve just landed in fucking heaven whenever he was stripping. ‘Better those drunken sluts looking at Bam-Bam than Missy’, she thought to herself as she made her way over to the tables Jonna’s party was at. She had promised the boss she would personally ensure that one of his closest old friends Jonna would have a very good time with her friends. (Especially when she was willing to pay a lot of money for her best friend who was getting married in two weeks to have a great final hoorah before getting hitched.)

“Hello ladies, here are the pints of Irish whiskey, Jack Daniels, Rum-Cokes, and Johnny Rotten you ordered. Drink up girls because it’s not every day your best friend’s celebrating her final days of being single before she goes down that aisle!” Lyn-z hollered as Jonna and the girls all cheered, the bartender did enjoy getting involved in getting the parties get in the spirit time to time since it was fun.

Ville stared at the bartender, a bit upset that she was still passing drinks to the annoying, and completely trashed group of screeching women. “Don’t you think they’ve had enough?” He asked, raising an eyebrow and bringing a lit cigarette to his lips.

Lynz turned to him, shrugging her shoulders. “Sorry, as long as they’re paying and not passed out on the floor, I have to serve them.”

Ville scowled at her, noticing Jonna’s lingering stares. He was getting quite annoyed by it all, he was trying to get as much time of Bam’s as he could, and they kept interrupting it. “Well, can you at least stop serving her?” He motioned to Jonna who had just winked at him. “She’s getting…a little too friendly,” he more or less, whispered.

“Sorry if doing my job is an issue to you but she’s not doing any fucking harm by sitting her enjoying herself, when she hasn’t clearly tried raping you. Just move to another table if you’re ‘annoyed’ by these girls wanting to enjoy themselves at their friend’s bridal party,” Lynz told him, her patience quickly thinning.

Ville glared at the woman. “If you hadn’t noticed, this is the only open seat up front,” he told her, taking a puff from his cigarette.

Lynz put her hands on her hips, holding the tray under her arm. “Then, it looks like you’re shit out of luck, huh?” She asked, moving closer to him, a glare on her face.

Ville gave her an icy look, his eyes half closed as he leaned back in his seat. “Such harsh words, coming from such a seemingly nice girl,” he said, blowing his cigarette smoke in her direction.

Lynz glared as the smoke hit her in the face. “Such, ugly manners, from such a lousy excuse of a man,” she hissed back, her temper hitting the boiling point.

Ville’s glare hardened at that, he stood from his spot. He knew he was being immature, and that he was about to get into an argument over the noise level, of a club of all things, but he was feeling many types of low, and wanted to scream a little to get over it. “Fuck you, you-”

“I think that’s enough,” an average toned, male voice said, as a hand came down on Ville’s shoulder. “Linds, why don’t you get back to work?”

Lynz glanced from Ville, to her boss, to Jared who was holding Ville’s shoulder. “Sure,” she said, she hadn’t tried getting Ville in trouble, but the man had pushed her buttons. She looked up on stage, noticing that Bam seemed to be a little off beat, he too was watching the scene, even if he was trying to look like he wasn’t.

“Let’s go to my office,” Tony told Jared, motion for him to bring Ville along.

Ville scowled, feeling like he was in the middle of some lame mobster movie, and all he had wanted was a stripper’s phone number. He was starting to question if it was even worth it at that point.

Ville sighed, he wasn’t afraid exactly, more like, nervous. He had just been pulled away from the main floor of the strip club into the big boss’s office. In mob movies, this would be the time that he would start pleading for his life. He smiled a bit nervously at the giant monster of a man blocking the door, before quickly looking back at the main man himself; ‘Birdman’. Or at least, that’s what was written on the door.

“So,” Birdman started, looking Ville over. He was thin, and his eyes looked unbelievably tired. Ville raised an eyebrow at that, fighting off the urge to answer with a smartass comment. “You’ve been harassing my employees,” Birdman stated more than asked.

Ville sighed. “I wouldn’t say I was harassing them…”

“What would you call it?”

Ville smirked, “Trying very, very hard to get Bam’s phone number.”

“Do you even know the definition of harass?” Birdman asked with a smirk.

“My definition or Webster’s,” Ville smirked, watching as Birdman tried to hold down a smile.

“Okay, we need to have a bit of a talk,” Birdman said, leaning forward in his chair. Again, giving Ville the feeling of an old washed up mobster movie that went straight to video. “I don’t like anyone,” he gave Ville a blank stare. “I mean, anyone, messing with my employees, in any way. If they say back off, it means, back the fuck off,” he said. “That’s not just for Bam; it’s for Missy, Lynz, even that busboy who’s been running around here lately. Understand?”

Ville nodded, “Yes.”

Birdman smiled, before sitting back in his seat. “Good, now why do you want Bam’s number so bad?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. “Surely, someone like you,” he motioned to Ville’s body. “Could get anyone they wanted, so why chase Bam? Especially when he has made it clear, he doesn’t show much interest in you.”

Ville looked at the door, his brow furrowed. “Bam’s different…” He started. “He’s a smartass, and…it’s hard to explain. I just, I enjoy his company.”

“That’s not much of answer.”

Ville turned back to Birdman, a blank look on his face. “Look, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not in love with him or anything, I just like him. He’s fun, and he makes me feel like I’m more than some washed up rock star, alright?” He asked a bit harshly.

Birdman, blinked, his face never changing from the hard, blank expression. “Alright,” he said. “Fair enough Mr. Valo.”

Ville looked at the other man; he struck Ville as a proper business man. One who sure, cared about his employee’s safety, but was a business man all the same. “Listen, I’m prepared to pay you two thousand dollars for Bam’s phone number,” Ville told him.

“What,” Birdman asked, a bit surprised.

Ville nodded. “I don’t have the money on me, but I can make a stop at the ATM, and give you what I have on me,” he said, reaching for his wallet. He pulled out the black wallet, and grabbed the three hundred he had in it, before laying it on the wood desk in front of him.

Birdman looked to Jared, who shrugged his shoulders. “Alright,” Birdman said slowly, pulling the bills into his hand. He counted them before pocketing them and motioning to Jared. “Take him out of here.”

“What?” Ville asked.

Birdman stood up. “I’m not running a whore house here, you’re banned from the club for a week,” he said. “Make sure everyone knows,” he told Jared, before turning his back on them.

Ville could only stare in shock as he was pulled from the building. He was already halfway down the street before it all registered with him. “Fuck,” he hissed kicking at a rock. “That’s two times those fuckers have taken my money for nothing,” he scowled, before groaning when he realized he had no money for a cab ride home. With a sigh, he pulled out his cell phone. “Mige,” he moaned. “You need to pick me up in front of Haggard Strip Tease…”
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Haggard Strip Tease