Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

A world full of nothing	By : martinette77 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Depeche Mode Views: 1366 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do 'not know the members of the band Depeche mode or am i making profit from this story it is fiction

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
I was so excited I could barley hold a though or sit still, let alone concentrate on some homework I had to do over the last three days.
Tuesday came and I was up early with fresh mixed feelings of anxiety, excitement and fear.
What if it goes wrong and we are both too shy to talk throughout the evening? Since the club was a good place to chat and share interests, I gathered the conversation would frizzle out and we have nothing more to talk about. We were both drunk so inhibitions crumbled.
I held the thoughts as went on with my daily chores, perhaps shopping, buy something new. I didn’t want to go out of my way to impress him. No. I just didn’t want to build up my expectations. It was just a drink?
But as we do I bathed, shaved, moisturised and made myself look good without being too made up and obvious. I didn’t want to scare him away. ‘Molly he could be gay!’ I thought as I scanned my wardrobe for something reasonably normal to wear.
My curiosity developed more about him and the band. I had listened to the Album a few times, falling in love with his voice. His lyrics that is some what ambiguous at times. That was what I liked about him, unable to read him through his words, but finding a way of interoperating them by guessing.
I grinned to myself as I listened to ‘Fly on the windscreen’ the perfect balance of some morbidity and then needing ‘Death is every there are flies on the windscreen for a start’ “Oh that was pretty gloomy” I would say out aloud. ‘Come. Kiss me now’ the change of mood hit the pit of my stomach. He is a genius! I had to admit this one stole my heart.
‘A Question of lust’ that I finally got to listen closely to. His voice beautiful, angelic. I was taken again, trying not to be distracted by it from what he was singing about. A simple love song? Maybe?
‘Sometimes’ this threw me. Deep thoughts perhaps, the inner soul of his feelings?
After analysing, I realized in a way I was working! Homework of my own by rating the Album and songs for myself. I suddenly became excited, and noted down every little feeling, emotion that I could to this album. I then dawned on me that my blockage of my own song writing had cleared. As looked back on what I had written I was gobsmacked on how I created my own deep feelings.
This moment was Amazing! It was like he had inspired me. Not only that! But score some brownie points with my career “Thank You Martin.” I gasped as it became clear and unclouded.
As ‘Stripped’ came on I knew what he meant at the interview. This had more of a sexual ambient. I smiled and closed my eyes, and suddenly I felt I understood this man. Indeed he was a genius.
In my over excited mood and urgency to see him, I dressed and left myself as I was.
Untamed hair, a baggy long top over some leggings, and of course my favourite Docs. I did my makeup how I always do, still taking care with it as my hands were shaking through overjoyed new found discovery.
On the train that took roughly five minutes or so then jumping off at Candem Town, I played ‘Dressed in black’ through my head all the way, feeling slightly mysterious, almost slightly Goth with this dark melody going over in my mind. Again this was the erotica Martin.
I must have looked like a Cheshire cat as I was walking down the road; getting closer to the pub where I was supposed to me him.
I hummed the melody again and approached the destination. My heart jumping as I stood outside. I now became so nervous I couldn’t bring myself to step through the doors.
Looking at my watch I noticed that I was already late, but he did say around 8. That could be before or after. What if he isn’t there yet? And I feel like a prized idiot? Or what if he couldn’t make it? He was in a band and demanded, suddenly had to go somewhere else or meet up with the manager? I now felt sick as the negativity grasped me.
I started to panic, looking around to hope his face would appear from somewhere then turning to the doors again. A young man pushed me a side and said ‘excuse me’ as I was blocking his way. I apologised and stepped aside, getting a look inside as he opened the door, letting the noise, smell of beer and cigarettes seep though the gap. No sign of the blonde fluffy head anywhere.
I sighed as the doors closed, wondering if I should just go home.
He was drunk, probably didn’t remember, better fish to fry, things to do Schedules to stick to, a busy man.
Maybe I just let my emotions run away with me? Danny was right, I shouldn’t and that was one lesson to learn, once burnt.
I convinced myself it was a stupid over enthusiastic idea and turned around.
“What are you doing standing out here?” A voice called me back, but it wasn’t Martin’s it was more excitable charismatic.
As I turned, a man with Dark spiky hair, immaculate looking I would say, stood at the foot of the doors with both eyebrows raised. ‘Yes this must be Dave Gah-an?’ I tried pronounce in my mind.
“Oh… I was waiting for Martin,” I looked down and turned red, twirling a loose curl around my finger.
“Oh he’s in here, he’s been waiting for you too,” He grinned showing his perfect fanged formed teeth. He was pretty good looking, a heart throb some would say.
I was a little taken, as I expected to be alone with him, not have the rest or even another member of the band there. “Oh Right,” I said and followed as he beckoned me in with a simple gesture of his head.
I saw Martin sat down at a table catering for four. A tall ginger-haired man with thick framed glasses sat opposite. ‘Andy or Fletch?’ I questioned myself trying to remember who they were, just by the magazines I had read.
Both had pints of larger and indulged in conversation. They stopped talking and looked around as the singer pulled me forward like a rag doll. In a nice way though.
“Your chick Mart?” I instantly wanted to crawl under a rock, and saw the songwriter cheeks flush too.
“I am sorry they insisted they came with me” He stood and let me slide in the booth.
“It’s ok no problem.”
“Drink?” Dave asks, and I feel obliged to accept with just half a larger.
Dave disappeared to the bar and I sat feeling awkward.
“This is Fletch and Dave was the bloke just gone,” He said briefly.
“Oh and... where’s…?” I started to question as I knew there were four members of the band.
“Alan? Said he had better things to do than gate crash Mart’s date,” Andy smirked.
“She’s not my Date Fletch!” Martin butted in and frowned at his friend. “We just met and I thought she was interesting.” He now smiled broadly at me. Again I blushed with a sense of disappointment.
Dave returned with a pint. I gave him a look and he shrugged.
“Mart says you were like him so I…” Martin elbowed him and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
“Thanks!” I nodded as I took it from him.
The guys talked and I just sat and listened. I don’t think Martin told them my job or they wouldn’t except me here, or even be there. As far as they knew I was a random girl Martin had met. I was very interesting getting more insight of what goes on between them and work.
As time went by I found myself adapting to the group. They were laugh down to earth and fun! Dave just had me in stitches as he told me stories of the old times, perhaps mocking poor Mart in the process.
I joined in with the cards games, pool and table football, feeling like one of the guys and getting thrashed by team Gahan. I was rubbish, but Martin helped me out, not being a massive fan of football though this was quite fun! Martin didn’t attempt to come on to me at any time, if anything opposite, which I found a little disheartened. He was treating me like a friend, a good friend like the guys.
We did this again, twice in that week, though I never really drink during the week. I felt an exception since they all like to get hammered, especially Mart. We all got so drunk though, and feeling so Relaxed that I was pulled up on the table with a semi naked Martin and egged on to strip too. The Barman came over and told us either to put some clothes on or get out. I was only in my bra and skirt. That was as brave as I got before we almost got chucked out. The words ‘I told you before’ came into play and was sure this was a regular thing of Martin to do.
“HAHA” Dave laughed loudly “Not quite the Gorette I thought,” as he watched me dress.
“One was enough, C’mon Dave,” Alan held his stomach in laughing so hard.
I sensed the others flirted with me, Well Dave and Fletch anyway. He was such a charmer, Dave! But Martin stayed at a distance, not really showing affection other than having fun sharing same attitudes, opinions and just clowning about with me. Just friends, I knew and accepted that now.
I think the boys gave him a hard time, trying to get information out of him that we were in fact fucking! But we weren’t. Martin didn’t want to throw ammunition at them so stayed aloof, as he was about it.
But I caught a glint in his eyes as we captured each others for short moments. Maybe he was scared? Maybe he didn’t want to get involved at the time? But we had some kind of chemistry. We are both only in our mid twenties.
He came back to my flat, rather discreetly after a good ribbing from the guys. Being blokes they had take the piss and accuse us of having sex or about to as we got into the cab whilst the other went the other way.
Ok maybe so? He was about to embark on a tour and jet off around the world, where I wouldn’t see him.
We may meet on the 16th of April when he was back in London? But maybe not? I live in hope again as I think about it, as we taken to my place.
We got on so well, like we had known each other for years. We gelled and shared things.
As we sat in my sitting room, I mused about the Album and what I thought. He listened quietly, not commenting back much as I think somehow he didn’t take complements too well. He remained modest about his work
The subject change, something we both could talk about. Drinking some more beer and just chilling out. Again he made no approach to hit on me.
He yawned and rubbed his eyes rather adorably after we chuckled on some banter.
“You can stay with me in my bed if you like?” I couldn’t believe I said that! But he smiled and said ok as his flat was a little further away, and seemed silly to travel back when he could sleep here and get a cab or whatever in the morning. Not only that! He looked tired and was comfortable here. I could tell by the way his leaned his head on the cushion, his arms folded over his stomach, his eyes lazy as was his smile. He looked totally relaxed.
It was pretty chilly and that sofa was not very comfortable, and my bed was all I could offer. I felt I could trust him not to touch, although I really wouldn’t have minded.
“I’m not gay!” He suddenly said picking up how I expressed the platonic advances of sharing with me.
I may have stupidly and sulkily hinted about touring and sleeping with the other guys, not like that! But in bed as friends. It came out wrong. I wished he would make advantages so the wrath spilled in tune to the words.
“I know.” Was my response, hoping he didn’t think I was casting aspersions at him from how he dressed. I felt like a completed fool now.
I passed him a comforting and mutual understanding look.
“I’m sorry” I said regretting my words, “I didn’t mean…Look you don’t have to stay here; I can call you a Taxi if you prefer?”
“No its fine, really,” His sweet lips pulled up into genuinely honest way and shook his head slightly.
“I like being with you, and you know they keep teasing me about you? They think we have more than a friendship.”
“I don’t doubt that for a minute.” I chortled.
“And yes I have shared a bed with Alan and Andrew as some point, because of some major fuck ups to hotel bookings,” He chuckled as his eyes clouded in memory. “And believe me it wasn’t pleasant.” He now laughed in that funny way and I joined in, hinting on what he meant.
“Snores?”
“Like a pig through a megaphone,” He rolls his eyes and I just laughed again.
“Alan is ok though he sulks a lot. Grumpy sod if he doesn’t get his coffee in the mornings. Or I had taken all the covers in the night.”
“Dave?” I found this some what erotic, thinking of men sharing a bed, or as my mind took me, further?
“No he never shares with anyone...” He pauses as he caught me staring in a dreamy thought.
“Dirty girl!”
I came back to earth thinking I had offended him, but found him still smiling impishly.
“What?”
“You know what miss!”
“Just curious,” I blushed.
“Well it killed the cat and No we have never…” He pointed playfully. “…Done that!”
“Not even a kiss?” I pushed on; he knew I was winding him up.
“Yes.”
“What really?”
“Yes”
“Who?”
“Alan.” He was playing me at my game now, I could tell by his eyes.
“Do tell.”
“Not much to tell but it was my birthday and he kissed my cheek.”
“Spoilsport,” I chucked a cushion at him as he laughed.
“You did ask, and you got an answer,” He threw it back at me.
“I know I know, but… oh forget it. It’s just the magazines and stuff, portrays the uncertainty of your sexuality.”
“So? We like to give the media a bit of false pretences. To take the piss out of them cos we know better,” He flashed his big toothy smile.
“You are a clever bastard Mr Gore,” I lobbed the cushion back at him. He caught it just as it was about to smack him in the face, his grin still prominent on his cheeky face.
“Of course. We have to outwit these journalists that like to poke holes through us,” His face then dropped. “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...”
“No it’s alright. I happen to be one that knows the deep passionate Martin and what his lyrics mean. And how his flamboyant approach is not to let others see the depth of his mind, when he dresses like what the media can only judge by. Plus Vince didn’t help.”
We both cracked up. I was glad he took that the right way, but of course I knew he would. I knew he knew I was spot on with what I said.
It fell silent for a moment as he stopped talking to disappear into his own thoughts. What would give to read them?
I suggested we should sleep, and I let him use the bathroom first for courtesy.
As I returned from my own nightly routine, I found him already tucked up with his hands behind his head, and bare-chested. I tried to avert my eyes as I crept in beside him; not wanting to touch him accidently, so did it with care. As I lifted the covers I found to my shock he was totally naked. I stopped looked down then up, and flushed the brightest crimson.
“Oh sorry I like to sleep like this... habit… I hope you don’t mind?”
“No no it’s fine,” My head forced to turn and look him in the green spheres that were engulfed by his dark pupils.
After a moment and thought I shrugged. “Oh what the hell, we are all human after all.”
With that I stripped away my nightshirt and sat up in bad with my breast in full view, I even found him blushing and trying not to look.
“Well why not huh? If you can not be shy about your body then why should I?” I tossed the nightie away and snuggled down under the covers, feeling free and at ease that I was too naked with him.
“Good” He said as he slipped closer.
I wondered if he was going to now, make a move. But he didn’t, he just wrapped his arms around me and closed his eyes.
It was so nice to feel his heat, soft skin on mine. Keeping his bottom half at a safe distance, just feeling his chest rise and fall slowly against my back as he drifted.
“I just like to have somebody to hold sometimes.” He confessed sleepily. I replied with a contented agreeable hum, turning out the light and letting his comfort envelope me.
We just slept in each others arms. No sex no kissing, fondling, just sleeping, and I realized how much I had missed this tenderness of another arms around me. Martin’s arms. It was wonderful!
Days went by and Martin was on the off. To embark on this world tour. He had come back to London for two shows, and one in Oxford, but sadly I was whisked away to New York for an important business meeting with another upcoming band that was offered to me for a great opportunity.
Before we left he met up with me. To say our goodbyes take cares and all that kind of stuff. He didn’t really have much time as he was ready to leave that morning to rehearse. Set up or what have you. He told me he would write to me and call me as much as he could.
I found it so hard not to let my emotions boil over as he hugged me. I didn’t want him to see how sad I was, that I wasn’t going to see him for a long time and would miss him so much. We had spend some great moments together, drinking talking and sharing a bed, sleeping in each others arms until the sun rose on that morning that I didn’t want to come. I wanted to be this way forever. In his arms, I never wanted it to end.
I held back the tears so much it hurt. I didn’t want to show how much I had really cared for him, as he may have not had such strong feelings back. That he would feel guilty that he let me into his heart and had to let me go. No he had an important tour and the last thing I wanted to do was fill his mind with regret or guilt, let alone pain. He needed to be in check and fully concentrating on the work he was about to do.
I didn’t want to strain our already flourished friendship into something complicated, and tied in heart strings that was about to be broken on my part. I couldn’t show it, so waited until I was away. Letting my sadness fall behind the dark glasses, and when I was home, I let my grief out.
I had bough another one of Depeche mode’s Albums. ‘Some great reward’ and started to listen to ‘It doesn’t matter,’ feeling my eyes burn as the hot tears fell down my cheeks, listening to his words.
I am happy
That I have you
Even though you're not here now
I know somewhere
You are dreaming
Though it's definitely not of me
It doesn't matter
If this all shatters
Nothing lasts forever
But I'm praying
That we're staying
Together
I am warmed by
Your friendship
Even when you're far away
And I'm happy
In the knowledge
We may never see the day
When I kiss you
And you kiss me
Don't pretend you miss me
The worst kind
Of diseased mind
Is one filled with jealousy
If we should meet again
Don't try to solve the puzzle
Just lay down next to me
And please don't move a muscle
I will thank you
Most of all for
The respect you have for me
I'm embarrassed
It overwhelms me
Because I don't deserve any
It doesn't matter
If this all shatters
Nothing lasts forever
But I'm praying
That we're staying
Together
I poured out the rest of my tears as the song ended.
- 1
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

A world full of nothing