Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

Counseling	By : AchtungNight Category: Celebrities - Misc > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 2152 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I have no connections other than fandom to any celebrity in this story- full disclaimer below. I did not write this fictional story for financial profit.

Chapter List
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Los Angeles, California. November 28, 2008
"TMZ; where famous people display their true colors."
"TMZ, the show that tells you everything you need to know about celebrities!"
"TMZ is bringing breaking news that will open your eyes to another world!"
"Oh no," Alicia Witt said, rolling over on the living room couch. She looked directly at the other redhead in the room, who sat in a nearby armchair. "Erika, do you have to watch this?"
"Yes," Erika Christensen replied, crossing her legs and increasing the volume of the TV show's announcers. "Several of my clients are on today."
Alicia threw up her hands. Her pale mandarin features were set in a petulant grimace. "You watch TMZ every day whether people you know are on or not. A while ago, you diagnosed me as a celebrity gossip addict. Are you familiar with the phrase 'Physician, heal thyself'?"
Erika ignored her best friend and upped the television's volume again. In contrast to the tall long-limbed Alicia, Erika was of middle height and voluptuous. Her eyes were deep blue while Alicia's were brown, her skin porcelain instead of pale with a shine beneath. Erika's red hair was straighter and of brighter hue, with blonde roots. Each woman exuded a different sort of sexuality. Alicia was all subtle simmering elegance and dry humor and Erika had a more brazen flare. Both had pretty faces, but Alicia's crimson hair was styled in a shoulder length Dido flip and the younger Erika's was in a long ponytail. Erika was also generally more stable than Alicia was in her emotions.
"TMZ, the show that taught me dating a celebrity is the only way I could ever get to be a celebrity!" a man on the TV endorsed with a laugh.
"Idiot," Alicia spat out. "Do you know how many men have dated me hoping to become a celebrity and failed? Why don't you try exercising your talents instead of mooching off others? Do you even have talents?"
Erika grimaced and amplified the volume further to drown out her friend's complaints. Next time I'll watch TMZ alone in my room instead of out here with my regular houseguest Alicia, she thought. I value her opinions, but I don't value her moods. Maybe next time I should also ask her before I turn on the television in the room where she's resting. "You can go sleep in my bed, Alicia, if you want to."
"No, thanks. I'll stay here." Alicia sat up, crossed her legs and smirked.
"Welcome back to TMZ, your official source for entertainment news! I'm your host, Harvey Levin." A gray-haired lawyer in a blue shirt and red tie beamed at his viewers. "Our first subject today is Lindsay Lohan. You may know this former child star as the lead actress from films such as 'Mean Girls' and 'Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen'. Changes have recently occurred in her life. Our reporter Nadine Holliday has an interview with Lindsay about these events. Nadine?"
A frumpy brunette woman dressed in a tan cardigan and slacks appeared on the screen. "Thank you, Harvey," Nadine said, adjusting her glasses. She turned to a twenty-something girl with freckled skin and obvious dyed blonde hair standing next to her wearing a black skirt and a white "Les Miserables" T-shirt. "I'm here with celebrity Lindsay Lohan. How are you feeling today, Lindsay?"
"Great!" Lindsay said, waving to the viewers. Erika returned her client's smile and waved back as their fellow actress Alicia looked on.
"You've had quite an eventful year so far," Nadine addressed Lindsay, "with three stints in rehab for drug and emotional problems. How do you feel after going through all that?"
Lindsay paused and then answered. "I'm happy. I'm a different person now."
"Why did you get into drugs?"
"I was alone, in spirit if not actually alone, and it seemed like something to do. I did it to myself and now I have to deal with the consequences. I'm thankful for what I can take out of it, though. After all my treatments, I feel clear."
"Clear," Alicia said, smirking. "Interesting choice of word."
Erika frowned at her friend. "She's not using it in the sense you're thinking. Lindsay sought no enlightenment from my church. She brought the idea up and I offered, then Lindsay said she had already been there. She scored so low on the personality tests she never wanted to go back. I told her that was just fine with me."
"She still accepted your counseling?"
"Lindsay sought me out. Just like all my celebrity clients, she needed an analyst who knows where she's been and can connect with her. I was also available and good at my job."
"You had to go to rehab several times this year," Nadine was saying to Lindsay. "First you went for cocaine addiction and then for driving under the influence of alcohol, then a third time to confront your problems again. Why did you keep going back?"
"Well, it took some time to work," Lindsay answered with a shrug. "You have to find the right center and therapists. The third try was the charm."
"That's good. Has your family been supportive of you through this?"
"Very. I love my family."
"What do you think of her family?" Alicia asked Erika.
"They're pretty messed up," Erika replied, tucking a curl of hair behind her ear. "Lindsay's mother thinks it's a good idea to put your relatives on reality shows and her father's a born-again Christian who's been in prison. I had trouble getting along with them at first. After a few sessions, I got them to accept both their daughter's friendship with me and Lindsay's sexuality. They had already gone through a lot of issues with her, so it wasn't that hard."
"You didn't tell me you slept with Lindsay!"
"I haven't yet. I'm waiting for her to make the first move."
"So you're dating a woman these days," Nadine said to Lindsay on the TV. "What's she like?"
"Samantha's great!" Lindsay answered cheerfully. "She's my best friend. I'm pleased I can finally talk about her."
"For viewers who don't know," Nadine said to the audience, "Samantha Ronson is a Los Angeles disc jockey whose claim to fame is being Lindsay's girlfriend. They have been dating the past two years and only recently become open enough to admit their relationship. Lindsay, are you lesbian like Samantha?"
"No," Lindsay said, blanching. "I'm bisexual, I think."
"So you're still dating men too then?"
"Well, not right now, but if I meet the right guy, yeah, I would like to date him."
"Drop this line of questioning," a well-dressed balding man with a mustache stepped into camera view and said. He appeared very frustrated.
"Sorry, Mr. Zelnick," Nadine told Lindsay's publicist.
"Hey!" a voice from off-screen shouted. "Ask her about 'Ugly Betty'!"
Nadine frowned. "Lindsay, until recently, you were on the ABC show 'Ugly Betty'. Then your character got canceled. Why did that happen?"
Lindsay shrugged again. "I don't know. The directors just said my arc was over."
A blond weasel-faced male reporter in a gray suit, the same man who had called out earlier, jumped in front of the camera. "Is it true you and the show's star America Ferrerra had an on-set dildo fight?"
"No!" Lindsay shouted, glowering at the weasel. "You have me mixed up with someone else!"
"Gary," Nadine said calmly, facing down the other journalist, "this is my interview. Please back off."
"My client will answer no further questions from this man," Zelnick said, pointing at Gary.
"You need to convince Lindsay to dump that Zelnick guy," Alicia told Erika. "He's clearly seeking to stage-manage her."
"He's succeeding," Erika said. "This entire interview was Zelnick's idea. He's controlled Lindsay's public appearances for years. I'm trying to get her to see he's a detriment, but it's slow going. They're co-dependent and he has the whole Lohan family as clients. They all have serious ASD."
"Attention Seeking Disorder, also called Histrionic Personality Disorder?" Alicia asked. "You told me I had that."
"Every celebrity has at least a mild case." Two weeks as a licensed psychologist, Erika mused to herself, and I'm already inventing new names for normal mental anxieties. Hooray for me.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Zelnick," Nadine reiterated. "So, Lindsay, do you have any new movies coming out soon?"
"Not till next year. My career's kind of in a slow spiral right now with all these problems I've had to sort through. I do have 'Labor Pains' coming out in the spring or summer, though. I also just released my third music album, 'Spirit in the Dark'." Lindsay held up a CD case.
"Well done. What else is ahead for you?"
"I still need to be in charge of taking care of myself and getting my [bleep] in line and buying a house. I was living at the Chateau for almost two years. Who blows that much money on a hotel? I could have bought a house! I will be buying one soon."
"Great. I have to say, Lindsay, you seem more confident now than you were the last time I interviewed you."
"Well, that was a long time ago."
"It was last month."
Lindsay blinked. "I guess I have to credit my new personal counselor. We hooked up ten days ago. She really gets me."
"Who is this person?"
"Um, I can't say."
"Come on, Lindsay!" Gary yelled. "Tell us! It can't be Samantha! Is it someone else you've shagged? Hilary Duff, maybe?"
"Hilary and I aren't dating anymore!" Face going crimson, Lindsay glared at the weasel and pointed a finger. "Get him out of here!"
"Oh my," Erika said, a hand going to her mouth. "Another reactive Freudian slip. Lindsay and I need to work more on those."
Zelnick stepped in front of Lindsay and waved off Gary and Nadine. "This interview is over."
"I'm very, very sorry, Mr. Zelnick," Nadine said. "Lindsay, I also apologize to you." She began lecturing Gary as the screen changed back to Harvey Levin.
"You should get Lindsay to change back to her natural hair color," Alicia told Erika. "She looks better with red."
"She thinks better too," Erika agreed. "I'm working on it."
"Good luck. I think that girl makes my worst days appear calm on her best days."
"She needs to learn when to keep her mouth shut."
"Next up," Harvey said, "Brangelina. Oscar winners Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are the ultimate Hollywood super-couple. Brad's ex-wife Jennifer Aniston has much to say about them."
The brunette "Friends" actress appeared on the TV. "Brad's a great guy," she told her interviewer. "He's the nicest man in Hollywood. We had a very loving marriage. We still would if we were married today. It was very un-cool how Angelina just stole Brad from me and made the army of babies I never could make with him. I said it to Vogue magazine, now I'm saying it again to you. Brad can condemn me for my words all he wants. This is honestly how I feel."
"Wow," said the interviewer, a middle-aged man with long brown hair and beard who was dressed like a hippie. "So you're over Brad?"
"Completely. I'm dating John Mayer now. He's a far more faithful man."
"He's also more tolerant of her straying and loving other women," Erika told Alicia with a wink.
Alicia returned Erika's grin. "Ah. What's Jennifer like in person? I hear she has several disorders."
"She has a wide range. Just like with Lindsay, the press attention increases Jennifer's neuroses. I started seeing her during my last semester of college. We're dealing with her relationship with her mother, her anxiety over turning forty and having no children, her divorce and many other things. Jennifer is the sort of client that really breaks a young psychologist in."
"You're handling it well."
"Thanks."
"Brad and Angelina are great with each other," Jennifer told her interviewer. "They're doing wonderful together. I wish them all the best and I have no lingering ill will towards them. I just want to get my feelings about what happened with Angelina off my case before the world. My therapist told me it was the best way to get over them ... I am over my feelings now. I'm with a new man. Yes, before you ask, we did break up in August, but now we're back together. We just couldn't stay away from each other. I love John and he loves me."
"Congratulations," the hippie said.
"Thank you, Baxter." Jennifer relaxed.
"Is John Mayer as good at sex as he is at singing?" Alicia asked Erika.
"He is," Erika replied, smiling wider, "especially when paired with Jennifer. I'm glad I got them to understand that they both needed each other in their lives."
"That was Baxter Page with 'Traveling' star Jennifer Aniston. We now go to Michelle Williams." A collage of photos appeared on the screen to accompany Harvey's speech. "Two years ago this former 'Dawson's Creek' actress lost her fiancé Heath Ledger to drug abuse. Heath starred as the Joker in the new Batman film 'Dark Knight' and then he passed away of an overdose right after filming. Psychiatrists speculate that the emotion his last role required was too much for Heath. How is Michelle coping? Gary Parker has the story."
Gary the weasel appeared on the screen and walked up to a young blonde woman attended by two hulking bodyguards. She only faced him when he called out her name. "Michelle! Can you tell us how you feel about Heath's death?"
"You guys need to go away!" Michelle growled. The bodyguards stood between her and Gary. "I've told you to stop trying to air my personal problems!"
"Oh, come on, Michelle! The public has a right to know."
"It's my life, loser! Leave me alone!"
"Hmm," Alicia said. "This woman's quite angry."
"Can you blame her?" Erika asked. "The paparazzi followed Michelle and Heath all through their relationship. They broke up in public because they couldn't take the attention. Then Heath got stupid and killed himself with drug addiction, leaving Michelle to raise their child on her own. The media jumps all over it and gets in her face every chance they have. They think every famous person's life is their business." Michelle echoed Erika's words as she continued to rant live at Gary on the TV.
"You know, I thought Heath did great as the Joker," Alicia said. "It was a terrific swan song."
"I agree," Erika replied. "It wasn't worth dying for, though. Heath had a gift to give the world. He should have found a better way of dealing with the angst that came along with it." The artificial redhead shook her head. "I wish Michelle was my client. I'm sure she must be going through pain. She won't speak with anyone about it."
"Have you contacted her?"
"I sent her an e-mail but so far she hasn't written back. My plate's full with other people anyway. I would help Michelle, though, if she called."
"Breaking super-couple news!" Harvey bellowed when he came back on the TV. "Madonna makes another slam at her former husband Guy Ritchie!"
Alicia looked at Erika. "This one was a failure for you, right?"
"Yeah," Erika said. "You can't credit me for it, though. Madonna's divorce wasn't my fault. You know as well as I how hard the Queen of Pop is to get along with. I couldn't help her get over her pre- and post-divorce anxieties. I tried telling her carefully that it was because of her overexerted narcissism and unwillingness to admit she had problems, but she paid little attention."
"Maybe if you were a Kabbalist..."
"I tried making sense of that religion. I got the gist of it. That wasn't enough for Madonna. Combined with all her other issues, that was too much for me. I had to tell Madonna goodbye. I got something out of seeing her, though."
Alicia's frown reversed. "I'm sure you did. Was it a lot of money?"
"Yep. I didn't ask for any, but then she threw a check at me when she walked out. I donated what I didn't need to charity, as usual."
"Same as your celebrity earnings, hmm? Good."
"Will Smith and Jada Pinkett," Harvey went on. "Is this pair of married actors headed for separation? Find out after our commercial break."
"Are they headed for separation?" Alicia asked Erika.
"No," Erika said, muting the television. "At least, they aren't now. They needed a reminder about respecting boundaries and communicating after eleven years of marriage. It was very easy for me to give them that. They're as close as John and Jennifer are and I didn't have to sleep with them to get through their initial barriers. Will taught me some new chess moves, too. I'm ready to challenge you again."
"You'll still never beat me," Alicia told her friend with a laugh. "Do you think I'll ever be on TMZ?"
"Probably not. They only go after the popular people. You keep doing independent films and short cable TV stints, they don't come after you as much."
"I'll continue as I have then," Alicia said, nodding at Erika's reference to her recent run on "Law & Order". "I don't think I ever want to be on this show."
"At least you didn't get an embarrassing nipple slip in your one appearance."
"You never mind showing your nipples!"
"I do when other people don't want to see them. The reporter talked all about my faux pas and not a bit about my acting, even after I covered myself. I still haven't heard the end of it from my agent. Some online trolls also used the clip as an excuse to defame me. You can probably guess what they said."
"Yes." Alicia grimaced. "You're a member of a strange new religion that has harmed its followers for no good reason. I know how you hate hearing that."
"Yeah. I understand why people say such things, but I'm not part of the problem." Erika sighed. "I'm just a young celebrity Scientologist trying to live her life with the world against her. I don't use my religion for evil and I'm not alone. Why can't all these Anonymous people see that? Why can't they be like the only one of their kind I have ever met in person now that they're actively opposing my Church? Why must they assume we're all equally worthy of disrespect?"
"You should confront them as you did that hacker you told me about," Alicia suggested, "or as you did Keri back when we filmed 'The Upside of Anger' together."
"I wish I had the courage," Erika said, recalling the drama film she and Alicia had made with Keri Russell, Evan Rachel Wood and Erika's younger brother Dane five years ago. "I'm too apprehensive, though. I don't want to get blood thrown at me or anything like that."
"I see. You're probably right to be worried. These days, very few people are willing to open themselves. You put the truth in their face and still they call you names."
"Like some of your ex-boyfriends?"
Both actresses scowled at Alicia's nod, bringing to mind her long line of breakups. "It seems you're the only one I can stick with and love," Alicia said, then smiled at Erika. "I wish I could marry you."
"I wish we could get married too," Erika affirmed, clenching her fists as she thought of Proposition 8, the recently passed California homosexual wedding ban. "Not that I would marry a woman, of course," she then corrected herself. "The zealots in my church wouldn't care for it. I would like to have the chance, however."
"You would marry me, right, if your religion wasn't an issue?" Alicia batted her eyes.
"Definitely," Erika said with a smirk. "That is, if I wished to get married. I don't. As I told Doug when we started getting serious, it's easier to practice free love when you have no husband. That's what Goldie and Susan taught me. It's also simpler to maintain a celebrity career and live on the opposite side of the world from your ideal man."
Erika was speaking of a London nightclub owner whom she had met while filming "Upside" and come to consider her soul mate. Doug Ramsay was nervous around her in the beginning, but Erika had worn him down just by being who she was. "I don't think you really want to marry me either, Lish," she added to her other favorite friend.
"No, I suppose not," Alicia said. "I love you and all the other women we've fucked together, yet I still keep looking for guys. I hope I find the right one eventually."
"What about that small-time producer you were with before the last one? He was good."
"Nathan?" Alicia shook her head. "That was over two weeks ago. I decided Nathan hadn't done enough with himself in life."
"Your standards are too high. He loves you."
"I loved him too, but he wasn't right for me." Alicia waved in dismissal. "Your show's back on."
Erika returned her focus to the television and un-muted it. "I'm here with Kirk Cameron," Gary the weasel was saying. "This notorious born-again Christian actor recently starred in the film 'Fireproof'."
"That's correct, Gary," said the smug brown-haired man standing next to the reporter. "Have you seen my movie?"
"No, Kirk. Romantic dramas with a religious message aren't my thing. I heard it was good, though. I also heard you had trouble with your female lead. The movie was supposed to be about passionate love, but you couldn't even embrace your co-star. You had to call your wife onto the set and kiss her instead."
"That's true," Kirk answered. "My co-star wasn't my wife. I'm not going to hell, Gary, especially not over a movie. I've been this way since I starred on 'Growing Pains' in the 1980s, when my sister Candace was on 'Full House'. I won't do anything contrary to God's laws."
"How does your wife feel about that? Did she like having to drop everything just to be in your movie un-credited and let you have your selfishness?"
"It doesn't matter how she felt. I am not going to hell. The director didn't like her being there either, but I told him that if my wife wasn't on set for my love-scenes I would walk off the film."
"Is this stance on your personal space hurting your career?"
"I'm a little offended by these questions, Gary."
"Well, our viewers aren't. Come on, Kirk, tell me. Do you have a film that isn't Christian themed lined up any time in the future?"
"Uh, no. I haven't had made a non-Christian themed movie in ten years and I plan to keep it that way."
"Don't you want to expand your horizons?"
"No! All I need is God!"
Alicia raised her eyebrows, looking at Erika. "Don't tell me that man's your client too."
"Not yet," Erika replied. Her face was contorted. "His sister Candace called me this afternoon asking if I could take Kirk's case. Apparently, his evangelism is really hurting his social life and he's having trouble dealing with the issues."
"He's not a Puritan who's also a happy sexpot like Candace, is he?"
"Nope. Kirk's more one of those 'all the world needs to be just like me' religious types." Erika made quotes in the air as she spoke. "I don't know if I want to work with him."
"Why? You could really help him. You're an actress who's needed to balance religious issues with your career."
"Yes, but with me it's all been unfair issues. You know I'm not a selfish sermonizer. It's only because so many other followers of my church are that people assume I'm the same and get on my nerves."
"Kirk, you lead a ministry that regularly trashes any religion or philosophy that isn't your own," Gary said. "You really shouldn't be surprised when people express disapproval."
"If they want to go to hell, that's their just reward!" Kirk declared with a nonchalant sneer. "I'm doing what Jesus would do."
"Someone is seriously confused," Alicia said.
"His sister agrees," Erika replied. "You've met her at Friendship-sponsored charity events. She's not like Kirk. Candace gets along better with others and is far more open-minded. She's a faithful Christian, but she doesn't let that stop her from enjoying herself and being friends with people who aren't the same."
"Right." Alicia smiled, thinking of the many occasions she and Erika had spent good times with Candace Cameron. "I like Candace. I regret that she won't love anyone other than her husband. Even so, she adores him with such fervent abandon it doesn't keep her from being inspirational. I once wanted to submit to a man like that."
"I thought you still did."
"Well, now I want one who's also open to my needs. If they threatened what I have with you, no way would I ever stay with them."
"Thanks." Very few of Alicia's boyfriends were like that, Erika contemplated. Nathan was, but she dumped him. Maybe I need to get them back together like I did John and Jennifer. Hmm.
"So you think God should have more influence on the world?" Gary asked Kirk.
"He already does. Look at the law that just passed in California. Farewell, gay marriage! It's about time. Now if we can only repeat Proposition 8 in the rest of the country."
"Fuck this guy!" Alicia snapped, seething.
"No way," Erika said. "I would never fuck him. He just wants his wife and that's okay with me. She's welcome to him if she can stand him. Candace doesn't want me screwing Kirk. She just hopes I can open his mind. His stance on God is hurting his relationships with other people whether he wants to acknowledge it or not."
"I agree. You know, you should take Kirk's case. If you could get him to counter-evangelize you as a good Scientologist, maybe you could get the online bashers to lay off you."
"No. I have to accept them. I can't let it be popularly known that I'm a psychologist. How would I explain it?" Erika sighed and then attempted to do just that.
"Four years ago my movie 'Upside of Anger' failed with critics. Since then only small parts, low-distribution independent films and mixed-rating TV shows have loomed on my horizon. I have an interesting character in 'Veronika Decides to Die' coming out this spring that may change things for me, but until my career improves I need a sideline to acting. Psychotherapy allows me to open myself towards other people and find what makes them tick. I also enjoy helping people with emotional problems. I always have since I was young.
"Yes, you're right. My religion hates psychology. That's why I had to get my degree online and in secret. To further keep my business quiet, I've been doing all my clients pro bono unless they want to pay me and only advertising through the Friendship's hidden networks. No, I usually don't send people to my church. If you have to ask why, you have had your head in the sand your entire life."
"Right," Alicia said, watching Erika's mock interview. "Sorry, I forgot."
"Kirk, a week ago you had another public confrontation with atheists over the certainty of God. Aren't you sick of those?" asked the weasel on the TV.
"You bet I am, Gary! People need to accept that God is real and that's that!"
"Hey," Erika said when Alicia looked at her, "Scientology has never denied a supreme deity is out there. We just don't define that being and try to force our view on others. At least I don't. I know how that can make people annoyed."
"You should take Kirk's case," Alicia repeated. "If anyone can wake him up, it's you."
"I actually have another advisor in mind for him — a radical religious thinker you and I have both seen regularly for the past five years."
Alicia changed her expression, guessing whom Erika was talking about. "The man with no chin? The one who only recognizes the element of surprise?"
Erika smirked back. "Exactly."
"I approve. Still, you need to see Kirk too." Alicia turned back to the TV.
"Come on, Kirk," Gary said. "You have a brain. Why don't you use it and let other people be whatever religion they want?"
"They aren't using their brains, Gary. We can't know the path God wants us to follow. If you think you can get to heaven by living like you're going to hell..."
"Gary, I'm sorry I have to cut you off," TMZ host Harvey interjected. "We're low on time and the network has requested that our show not serve as any celebrity's pulpit. Let's move on to what's happening with Jenna Elfman. Here's Sean Borg."
Erika hit her remote's mute button. She did not want to hear from any more ignorant self-absorbed fanatics, especially not followers of her own creed. "I'm sorry, Alicia. I didn't think today's TMZ would be this bad."
Alicia gave her an understanding expression. "I think that watchdog group said it best. 'Harvey Levin is the one gossip monger who has done more damage to entertainment reporting in recent years than anyone else. His gutter operation TMZ has almost singlehandedly transformed Hollywood entertainment reporting into a street battle fueled by self-hatred, jealousy and anger, with no concern for what once determined greatness, excellence or fame.' Levin combined his show's format with that of 'Access Hollywood' recently and that only made things worse."
"Amen," Erika said. "Unfortunately, though, he didn't have to work very hard."
"Right," Alicia agreed. "It's going to take celebrities forever to undo the damage they've done to themselves these past few decades. We have people behaving badly and other people taking advantage. It doesn't matter if one cooperates with the other or not. The process keeps happening and it hurts us all." Alicia waved at the television, where yet another celebrity was contributing to their own career woes while hyping themselves. "This is the reason there's an actor's strike now. No one wants to respect us and we can't see it. Even people who haven't been part of the problem like you or me are getting dumped on and affected. It makes me so upset."
"The worst thing is, we can't easily stop it," Erika fumed. "My counseling practice is my personal way to try and help the crisis but if the wrong person finds out..."
"You don't need to remind me," Alicia interrupted. She smiled at her friend and adopted a persona similar to another zealot from Erika's church who had introduced them to each other. "What are you doing involved in psychology, Erika? Don't you know it kills?"
"It does not, Tom!" Erika replied, picking up the familiar skit. "I've studied psychology since I got cast in 'Home Room' back in 2001 and I know that like every school of thought, our religion included, it's both good and bad. I have no problem practicing psychology alongside a liberal view of Scientology's teachings and I've found them remarkably similar."
"How can you be so glib about the church that raised you?"
"I approach Scientology as an applied philosophy, Tom, not as a brainwashing cult. I don't let anyone control me."
"You ignorant sheep! Next thing I know, you'll get post-partum depression when you have children and become addicted to Paxil or some other mind-altering drug!"
"No way, Tom! If I ever have a child, I'll be proud and cheery to bring him or her onto this planet. I mean no offense to any woman who does get depressed, understand. I know from working with others and my own personal experiences that it is not just a mental illness. I hope those who suffer from depression and all other disorders get the help they need from whatever source best suits them. For myself, I'll enjoy bearing and raising my kids in the unsheltered real world. Nor will I use any anxieties I have as an excuse to sell medicines with harmful side effects. You also won't ever catch me starring in obnoxious Volkswagen commercials."
"You don't know the history of psychology, Erika. I do."
"Actually, Tom Cruise, I do know the history of psychology. That line won't work on me. You see, unlike you, I have heard several detailed lectures on the science from sources both for and against it, inside and outside our religion. Also unlike you, I have a bachelor's degree in psychology from the University of Phoenix. 'History of Psychology' was one of my best subjects. I graduated maxima cum laude."
"Cum laude," Alicia ceased her impression, chuckling. "Loaded words."
Erika returned the expression. "You know I like to come loud." She inched up the skirt of her gray kimono, displaying more of her firm legs. The tigers and bamboo designs woven into the garment illustrated Erika's personality. "You love it too, right?"
Alicia stood up and undid the sash of her own kimono, a green robe emblazoned with sand dunes and bulrushes. "I feel the need for it now."
"Let's get physical," Erika said, beckoning. TMZ was almost over and when it came to sex Erika was ravenous. She unfastened her garment and opened it, exposing the smooth swell of her creamy breasts and large rose-colored nipples. Her hips were full and sensuous with acres of blonde hair running riot between them in an exotic vee.
Alicia dropped her robe from her shoulders, revealing a toned chalk white body with small breasts, erect pink nipples and a dark red heart of hair at the juncture of the legs. Alicia walked up to Erika's brown leather easy chair and stood posed over her friend. After a second of ogling, she leaned down and kissed Erika on the mouth. Erika's arms came up to embrace Alicia while Alicia's hands grasped the chair's sides. The TV remote fell to the floor hard as the two friends touched their tongues.
The television's volume resumed. "I am very angry at the recent ban on gay marriage in California," actor Josh Brolin told Nadine. "Who gives a [bleep]! Who cares? The ban doesn't mean gay and lesbian people are going to stop kissing in the streets, just cause they can't get married. That's the issue for the religious: that it's visible and it's always going to be visible. It ain't going to go away. Gay life is more mainstream, but at the same time things like this happen and you go, 'You got to be kidding me!' Especially in California ... I think it's awful, but I understand it. Everybody has their opinion."
"This is our opinion," Erika said, grinning at Alicia as they parted lips.
"It is," Alicia replied. She knelt and picked up the remote, clicked the television off, and then went back to kissing Erika. The other actress chuckled as she stroked Alicia's neck and hair in rejoin.
We can't ever make out like this in public, Erika thought. Press photographs of us together might damage both our careers. It would also affect my reputation among the fanatics who follow my religion. Alicia understands. She knows all too well how people often see women who love other women. She struggled with her lesbian desires for almost two decades, denying them and relegating them behind her acting in several movies with homosexual overtones. I tried to help her but she pushed me away. Then I was finally able to get Alicia through her resentment five years ago with Keri and Evan's aid. We've been together since.
Smiling, Erika stabbed her tongue into Alicia's mouth. Her girlfriend broke their kiss after licking Erika's teeth in reply and then got on her knees.
Alicia moved her hands across the chair arms and onto Erika's body. Angling in, she buffed her lips over Erika's throat and cheeks. Erika fondled Alicia's naked assets in return, concentrating on her upper back muscles. Memories flowed into each woman as they stroked the other. Both had firmly toned bodies thanks to the martial arts classes they had taken regularly since late 2003. Doug had introduced Erika and Alicia to their karate sensei, who like Doug was a Texan with a background in law enforcement. Both actresses enjoyed the health and mental benefits of martial arts study. Alicia currently held a brown belt and Erika had attained her own black belt the past summer. She trained hard almost every day to preserve her skill.
I do this just about every day also, Erika thought as she and Alicia continued their sex. I like nothing better than making love, whether my partner's a man or a woman. They only need to be my friend. Like psychology and combat, fucking improves my drama skills. It helps my emotions too. Alicia's parting of Erika's robe and caresses of her breasts showed Erika that her best girlfriend agreed.
Karate was not the only way of fighting the actresses practiced. They also took courses in Brazilian jujitsu, tai chi, and Hapkido. Erika and Alicia had both attained black belts in the latter martial art. Erika did not know if she would ever need the skills but found the benefits worth it. That would especially be the case if she were to get cast in an action movie or attacked when alone. Whether or not that happened, Erika knew she had enhanced her ability to regulate her body functions and attitudes through her exercises. That was invaluable to anyone's life.
It's funny that it took so long for me to get into martial arts, Erika reflected, feeling Alicia's hands chopping a rhythm on her ribs. I've always been athletic and admired the philosophy of Bruce Lee as much as that of my church founder. Like many people, though, I never really saw the need to acquire further education and discipline in the things I esteemed. I wanted to be tough, but I actually wasn't. Then I met Doug, he introduced me to training with Walker, and now I live strong. It's good that I don't have to keep my martial arts skills hidden. People treat me more carefully once they know.
There were many secrets in Erika's life. Her church was opposed to psychology and all its related sciences despite their common goals. Scientology also had a negative history with alternative sexualities, so Erika could not air that she was bisexual. She had to keep up a closed-off façade and deny rumors except to her friends. This led most who observed Erika from a distance to assume she was exactly like Scientology advocates such as Tom Cruise and the same went for her associates. Erika's most fervent hope was that someday she and all people, Scientologist and otherwise, could stand as themselves in the light and not be unfairly mocked or spurned.
I will enjoy that when it comes, she thought, hugging and fondling Alicia. Until then, I have the people I love. I can express myself to them without fear or question. With my friends at my side, I can face any foe as strongly as Doug's hero Don Quixote charged at muleteers and windmills. Doug calls me his "Dulcinea", his creative spark. I suppose I am that, even if because of the distance between us the notion is naught but flame and air. I love Alicia also, and so many others. When joined with theirs, my spirit can neither be crushed nor silenced. One day it may erupt bright against the worst of humanity and send an echo to the alien civilizations in which my church believes. I am not a messiah or prophet, but I still would not mind participating in such an event.
Concentrating on her current circumstances, Erika fondled Alicia's waist, pressing fingertips against spine and muscle. Her hands came around and teased the other actress's stomach nerves, then moved to Alicia's thighs.
Alicia pushed Erika's kimono off her body. Her digits struck the nipples and other sensitive areas of Erika's torso, demonstrating Alicia's genius intelligence along with the dexterity she had built up in her many years playing classical piano on stage. Alicia stoked Erika's inner fires with memory of the hotspots and compassion towards the areas that burned too fierce. Their coupling's pattern was difficult to see but nevertheless Alicia had her end under control.
Erika's hands were equally expert and tumultuous on Alicia's body. They had been friends for seven years and lovers for five. All their sparring, cuddling and other interaction had taught each of them much about the other. The only emotion they felt was enthusiasm and pleasure towards what they were doing. The only repression they showed was when things got too intense. Aware of each other's needs and ready to respond, they drove one another towards climax.
Erika fell back in the armchair, the sweat of her gleaming body staining the seat's leather. Alicia kissed a trail of fire down Erika's torso, her red-curled head pausing to lap her friend's tits, belly and thighs. Alicia stopped when she reached the fertile expanse of curls that covered Erika's vagina. She shoved two fingers within the mass and followed with her tongue. Erika whimpered and wailed as her passion rose.
Alicia's breath came hard against her cunt, blasting within and rousing the juices. The tip of the natural redhead's tongue hit the artificial redhead's clit, vibrating it back and forth. Erika's blonde curls had always had a slight crimson hue and now after her recent dye job they were as flushed ruby as her face and upper body. The vivid auburn waves shone under the living room's dim fluorescent lamps. Their sheen increased as Erika watched an accompanying burgundy display form on Alicia's skin.
My hair looks good this color, Erika thought. It matches my attitude quite well these days. I may go back to blonde or brown in the future, but red works for now. She gasped and shoved Alicia's head into her snatch.
"Yes," Alicia whispered, fondling Erika's thighs as she pushed them apart further. Both their hearts beat with anticipation. Alicia's fatigue was forgotten now, her lust awakened by Erika's presence and what Brolin had said on the television. She licked Erika's slit up and down, fondling her rump in counterpoint. Erika shivered, thinking of the many marvelous instances Alicia had stuck a dildo in both her front and rear holes. We have to do it again later in my bedroom, she thought. I'll bang Alicia too.
Erika's girlfriend bit hard at her clit, lips forcing the hood into retreat. Honey was streaming out of Erika now, darkening both the chair seat cushion and Alicia's face. Alicia's tongue and fingers lapped Erika with enthusiasm while the rest of Alicia's body shook, turned her on by her own actions. It did not matter that Erika was no longer touching her and was instead clutching the leather arms of the chair.
"I'm coming!" Erika proclaimed, feeling an orgasm rise. She screamed with rapture as Alicia deepened her caresses. Alicia sucked down the fluid that flowed from between Erika's legs and then began moving upwards. Erika wiggled her seated body as Alicia's head rose. Alicia was blazing another path across Erika's sweaty chest and stomach, her kisses progressively wetter and firmer. When their faces were next to each other, Alicia smacked Erika's open mouth. Erika felt another wave of ecstasy go off within her when she tasted her own nectar on her girlfriend's tongue.
"You could have come louder than that," Alicia said. She pushed Erika into the chair and leaned forward to stroke the other girl's tits and cunt.
"Prove it," Erika replied, giggling. She shivered with sensation and put her hands on Alicia. Erika squeezed her girlfriend's left breast, flicking the nipple. Her other hand went to Alicia's clit and manipulated it in circular motions. The many repetitions of Erika's martial arts routines went into this technique and Alicia shook under the tender assault. Laughing, she kissed Erika's lips again and massaged her friend's legs.
The chair supported the two actresses as their lovemaking continued. Erika and Alicia snuggled naked together on the seat, which was just big enough for both of them. They took turns suckling one another's breasts, biting and stroking the aureoles with tongues and fingers. Their red hair mingled as they exchanged hugs. Hands roamed, pulling pleasure from every curve of each woman's body. Their clits ground together as thigh collided with thigh. Alicia released a series of moans when she achieved her own orgasm, reveling in Erika's closeness. Erika could feel her next explosion near but held it off. She wanted it to be better than the climaxes she had already enjoyed in the session so far.
Alicia showed no mercy in hammering Erika's nerve endings. The symphony throbbed and built to crescendo. Percussion was in Alicia's fingers, winds in her breath and strings in the saliva and other juices dripping from her tongue. Her clit was a hard wand thrusting against Erika's, joined by the rubbing of satin thighs. Erika gave Alicia back all the same and more. Soon it was too much for Erika to bear. She pushed Alicia away, shrieking higher this time as she reached a new level of passion. Alicia jumped to her feet and fingered her own pussy as she watched, letting out a gasp. The visual stimulation sparked her sex gun. Once she had peaked and settled, Alicia knelt back down on the floor and kissed Erika one final time — for the moment.
"That was good," Alicia said after they had swapped tongues. She stuck a finger in her slit and gathered some juice, then fed it to herself and Erika between words. "I'm happy you woke me up now."
Erika grinned, thinking of the argument Alicia had aped. "Can you believe people are still talking about those things Tom told Matt Lauer three years later?" she asked, swallowing Alicia's gingery essence. "They act as if it's all he's ever done!"
"I know. The man is so full of himself he's blind to everything, like Lindsay and that Kirk fellow."
"Yeah," Erika agreed. "He's inconsiderate of his own needs most of all. Tom's subsided a bit recently as he's watched his Hollywood ranking head down the tubes, but he's still pretty offensive sometimes. I wish he'd get over himself. Tom's issues are recurring and they affect every one of us. I doubt I'll ever get him as a client, but if I did..." Erika smirked. "It would be one heck of a job."
"You'd have to treat his wife too," Alicia said. "She has even more hang-ups."
"Agreed."
I can't change... Lynyrd Skynyrd sang from Erika's cell phone nearby, interrupting them. Oh no, I can't change! Lord help me, I can't change!
"Uh oh," Erika said. She separated herself from Alicia and stood up. "That's Dane's ring tone. We may have a bigger problem."
"Oh dear," Alicia answered, flopping onto and reclining in the armchair. Dane Christensen was the youngest of Erika's three brothers and the most bothersome. "It's been a month since he last called you, hasn't it? You left him messages about your recent achievements but he never responded. He didn't even show up at your family Thanksgiving yesterday. You don't suppose he's in jail again?"
"I pray he's not. You mind eavesdropping? I know this is my family business, but I could use your advice on it."
"Sure, no problem."
I should just accept Dane, Erika thought as she grabbed the phone. It's not like I'm the only celebrity with a troubled sibling looking up to them. Two United States Presidents come immediately to mind.
"Hello, Dane," she said after confirming the number "Free Bird" accompanied and pressing the speaker button. "Long time."
"Erika!" Dane replied, winded. "I'm glad I caught you! I need your assistance again. I've done something really dumb."
"How much is the bond?"
"I'm not at a police station. It's nothing like my arrests. It's something else." There was a pause. "Evan broke up with me."
"Evan broke up with you?" Erika repeated, confused. Dane met Evan Rachel Wood when they played love interests in our film together, she remembered. They're around the same age, late teens back then and early twenties now. Dane acquired a deep crush on Evan when they met, but she had already fallen for another man. My brother also wanted to explore his own bisexual desires. Dane and Evan stayed good friends, though, and occasional fuck-buddies. I slept with Evan too — it was the closest I've ever gotten to incest. Evan's like Lolita. No one can resist her once she gets them in her sights.
Evan ran off after the movie was finished. She wanted to be with her new boyfriend Jamie Bell. Erika talked to them a few times during the next three years and met them for various dates and get-togethers. She was their friend but they didn't see each other very often. It was the same with Dane. He hung out with Evan, but they stopped having sex when Jamie turned out to be the "envious of other guys" type. Evan got bored with Jamie in late 2006 and dumped him. Erika thought it was too bad. Jamie was okay mostly, she said to herself, and maybe Evan could have gotten him to change the ways he wasn't. I guess they were just too young. My closeness with Evan declined further as she looked for a new mate.
Erika scowled, recalling whom Evan had courted most recently. The relationship lasted two years and was extremely passionate. Things collapsed a week ago according to TMZ but Evan had not filled Erika in on the exact details. Erika did not like Evan's new boyfriend and Evan did not appreciate that. "You're not what I need anymore," Evan told Erika when they discussed the relationship, never using those exact words but still putting across the emotion. "I have developed different feelings. Stop judging me and get out of my life." It didn't take much of this for Erika to follow Evan's request.
"Dane, slow down," Erika said, putting aside her reminisces. She sat on the edge of the television table and glanced at Alicia, who shared her expression. Alicia's probably thinking all the same things I just did, Erika deduced. She's also Evan's friend but she doesn't really know Dane outside of what I've told her and the few occasions they've met. There was only that one time we all worked together. "When did you and Evan start officially dating?" Erika asked Dane for both Alicia and herself.
"We weren't. I was her friend like always. I was living with Evan's brother Ira in an apartment. I met Ira at a party, I thought he was cute and we started going out. Ira's bisexual, like Evan and you."
"You're that way also, Dane."
"Right. Anyway, we were an item about four months. Ira was my wingman, the same way Alicia's your wing-woman. We picked up girls together and had fun with each other when we couldn't find anyone else. Then he broke up with me and moved out. Ira said I was drifting away from him. I was, kind of. After Ira left, I was lonely and then Evan called me. I decided to try getting close to her again. I wanted to get Evan away from You-Know-Who."
"I see." Erika guessed that Dane's experience with trying to end Evan's relationship had been much like her own. "Now you're not friends anymore."
"It's worse than that. I tried getting Evan to join Scientology."
"You what?"
"I'm sorry, Erika! I thought it was the best chance for her! She's been so moping and sad all the time since she ended things with Jamie. It slacked off some when she got her new boyfriend, but you know how we've been afraid it would happen again?"
"Yes. Evan's guy has a bad reputation."
"Yeah. When she called me after Ira told her we broke up and I went to see her, I saw that she was downhearted just as we feared. I suggested our church to Evan because it was working for me at the time. I gave her all the appropriate literature, but she tossed it in my face and told me to go visit Xenu!"
Shit, Erika thought. Evan used my personal catchphrase for "Go to hell" in Scientologist terms. Damn it, Dane, you must have seriously set her off. "This doesn't sound like you, little brother. You've never been that devoted about religion, not even when I talked to you during your scripture study these last three months. What's changed?"
"Uh, well, I've been seeing this new auditor trying to sort out my problems."
"Auditing is our sacrament that covers confession and life coaching," Erika answered Alicia's glance.
"Who's there, Erika?"
"Hello, Dane," Alicia said. "It's only me."
"Oh. Hey, Alicia. Are you listening in on Erika's phone again?"
"You know she tells me everything — well, most things."
"I'm not sure I want you hearing all this."
"Dane, Alicia's your friend too," Erika broke in. "How many times has she been there with me when I've bailed you out of jail?"
"Two out of three."
"All three, actually," Alicia said. "You were arrested for criminal mischief, trespassing and vandalism."
"Graffiti. It wasn't anything serious! I was just acting out trying to get attention. I'm a dumb kid."
"She knows, Dane," Erika said. "Alicia is familiar with our family history. Tell him, Lish."
Alicia took a breath. "Your father sells insurance and your mother's a construction manager. They're very successful. However, they also dropped out of college in the 1960s and joined, then left several new religions. They were in the People's Temple, the Hare Krishna, the Children of God and other sects. Ultimately they found Scientology and it put them on their feet. They got married and started their careers, then had four children. Why so many faiths, Dane?"
"Our parents were looking for answers. They wanted a church that taught skills for the real world and gave people strength and self-awareness. Scientology was the closest thing to that they found. They were going to leave it too for a while, but then they started having kids and wanted to raise them inside."
"We're Mom and Dad's offspring," Erika added. "Scientology is our creed, but people raised us. It's easy to manage if you keep a positive attitude and dominate your surroundings. I give you advice on how to do that every time we discuss this issue."
Alicia nodded. "Indeed. Your brother Nick was firstborn, then you, Erika. Finally, there was you, Dane, and your twin Brando. Steven and Kathy raised you all in Scientology, home schooling you in the Montessori system and letting their church provide various extracurricular activities. They put Erika in some pageants and she turned it into an acting career. You once wanted to follow her. Then you changed your mind after your first film. These days, you're in business with Brando making T-shirts."
"Wrong. That fell through last year. Brando's a motorcycle mechanic now and I work as a grocery stocker when I'm not doing church stuff. Do you know what Nick does?"
"He owns a used car dealership. I bought my Chrysler from him."
"Then you're probably aware he's not that active in Scientology."
"Yes. He told me that people think your religion's a money-making scam. Being a used car salesman is bad enough without adding Scientology to the equation. Nick still believes. However, he doesn't want his customers knowing he's a Scientologist."
"Nick shouldn't feel that way, but he does," Erika said. "I understand it and that makes me hate it all the more."
"Your church has issues, Erika," Alicia replied. "Let's review. A bipolar former naval officer named L. Ron Hubbard started your religion in the 1950s. Hubbard didn't like psychology and had his own ideas about mental illness. He wasn't very famous until he became a guru despite his past life as a prolific author. His church charges people thousands over time to tell them they can solve their own neuroses by becoming aware of the causes and getting enlightened or 'clear'.
"Then when you get far enough in and still have problems, the ministers turn around and blame all your negative thoughts on extraterrestrial possession. Human souls get reincarnated in an endless cycle with these alien ghosts led by the devil Xenu tormenting them. Everyone has the capability to banish Xenu and his demons, but only Scientology can show you the right way to do that and give you extraordinary powers.
"The lack of such abilities in Scientology's followers has caused a series of civil and criminal suits directed at your church worldwide during the fifty-five years of its existence. There have also been legal battles over the expulsion of people from the church, mysterious deaths and copyright infringements. All this has led to a large number of websites that criticize Scientology and discourage support for it. Some governments have agreed with the criticism and failed to recognize Scientology with legal standing. This included the United States until 1993, Australia until 1973 and Germany until just last week.
"Scientology is enjoyed by celebrities because of its focus on communication and awareness along with its professed support for human rights and alternative mental health regimens. Other people like it for the same reasons. Erika, do I have all that correct?"
"Basically. Xenu's not as important as you let on. He's just a devil figure. Furthermore, our creator was a science fiction writer and many people hold that against us. They think we're nuts to believe in aliens. I tell myself the mythology of my creed is just metaphor and the philosophy is what matters. Not everyone agrees."
"Yes," Alicia said. "That's your motivation for not advertising your religion much. You've seen all the websites and studies that call Scientology greedy, crazy and so on."
"It's also the reason I value my non-Scientologist friends like you."
"Our parents introduced us to those sites," Dane supplied. "They wanted us to be in Scientology with eyes wide open. We needed to stay aware of how people saw us and avoid being part of the abuse. Mom and Dad didn't want us ending up like some of Scientology's ex-members or the people in the religions they left."
"Not that we would turn out that way," Erika said. "Our parents said they would still love us even if we did. Mom and Dad felt we needed to be ready, though. I was becoming a star and they got apprehensive."
"You've talked to me about this before, Erika," Alicia replied. "I know the way you were raised is why you follow your religion in a liberal manner and you have problems with fanatic Scientologists like Tom Cruise. Your family is also part of a reformation movement inside the church that you believe has to be kept hidden from the public. On top of that, your family is in the Friendship society. I was inducted into that same Masonic order by my parents when I graduated high school at age fourteen."
"Wow," Dane appraised the summation. "You know everything about us!"
"Almost. Your sister's told me some and those websites have filled in the rest. I just Google your church name, look at sites both for and against Scientology, filter out the bias, and I get all I need to know. What about this new auditor you're seeing, though? I don't think Erika or I know about her."
Dane paused before he answered. "I began seeing her last month. After I got busted for climbing the water tower back in July, I was feeling lost and I decided to get into the church a little more to work out my depression. I started auditing at Scientology's Celebrity Center here in Los Angeles three times a week and working for the church on my days off from Safeway. You didn't know about this?"
"No," Alicia replied.
"Mom and Dad suggested it," said Erika. "I approved. You're an adult now, Dane. You need to stop being a brat."
"I know. I'm sorry, Erika."
"It's okay. Just go on. What happened? Did our ministers put you on the RPF again? I thought I heard you got out."
"RPF?" Alicia raised an eyebrow. "Is that the Scientology boot camp where you do community service and run around reciting scripture while ministers act like drill sergeants?"
"Yep," Erika said. "The full title is 'Rehabilitation Project Force'. It's a program intended for ministers who aren't doing their jobs well but public Scientologists can also try it. Basically, it's supposed to get rid of chronic bad behavior. You work for the church and learn how to get along with others while undergoing the regimen you described. There are progressively more intense levels. Dane and I were on the lowest rung like most people. Dane entered the RPF hoping it would fix his depression and whatever else led him to do things like climb that water tank and spray his name at the top. I suggested Walker's dojo but Dane didn't want that."
"Your sensei scares me, Erika."
"Well, he shouldn't. He's a great instructor. I also thought you should remember the one time I was in the RPF." Erika looked at Alicia. "Growing up, I saw many among my friends and teachers sent to the program when church leaders were displeased with them. Some people left Scientology rather than go into the RPF as directed. I tried it voluntarily when I was ten, wanting to see what the fuss was about. The RPF turned out to be a religious gulag exactly like people had said. I got out as soon as I could."
"Erika, the RPF worked for me," said Dane. "You didn't need to go there. I did. I got everything I hoped for from the program. I exited after nine weeks fully clear. You know I contacted you and our parents many times during that. I still lived with Ira too until we broke up, I just didn't mention him to you. My problems were fixed. Except for this past week with my new auditor, I haven't misbehaved once since July."
"Didn't you meet any bullies in there?"
"Of course, but I learned how to handle them. You did too, if I remember right."
"I did, Dane," Erika affirmed. "Still, I didn't like having to deal with them. You remember that rhyme I had about the main three bullies I got to know?"
"Boggis and Bunce and Bean," Dane quoted. "One fat, one short, one lean. Horrible crooks, different in looks, but nonetheless equally mean."
Alicia stared at Erika. "You made up jokes about bullies?"
"I got that one from a Roald Dahl book. It had their names and everything. There were other taunts I made up myself. I was ten, Lish. They were teasing me. I had to cope."
"Sure. You know, people say the same things when they equate followers of your religion with 'Cylons', the robots from that Sci-Fi channel show 'Battlestar Galactica' who impersonate Earthlings and work to destroy them."
Erika scowled at the dehumanizing label. "I know I shouldn't have done what I did. I couldn't help it, though. These guys deserved it too."
"People who are bigoted about Scientology also say that."
Erika's frown deepened. "We're getting off the subject. Dane, tell me about this woman who's been auditing you. What's her name?"
"Jessica Rodriguez."
Erika felt her heart catch in recognition. "Jessica Feshbach Rodriguez?" Alicia stifled a gasp.
"Do you know her?"
"We both do," Alicia said, "by reputation at least. It's all over the web that the Feshbachs are the 'Goblins of Scientology', the deepest and most irritating fanatics. They've been at least peripherally involved in most of your religion's problems the past three decades. Erika, what did you tell me about them?"
Erika picked up the thread. "You remember Joe Feshbach from our Church Career Days, Dane? They called him 'the kind of Scientologist we all want to be'."
"Yeah. You probably don't know him, Alicia. Joe Feshbach's from the Tennessee hill country and was one of the first people in his family to go to university. He joined Scientology around the same time as Mom and Dad and used our church's interpersonal influence techniques to make a killing on Wall Street. He had his relatives help him, short-sold and used other tactics that are legal but frowned upon."
"Correct," Erika said. "Then he donated most of his money to the church along with a whole generation of his family's offspring. Many of these grew into dedicated yet problematic people. I met three Feshbachs when I was in the RPF."
"The bullies?" Alicia asked.
Erika nodded. "They wanted to be ministers and spread Scientology like their Uncle Joe demanded. I encountered them off and on growing up. As I told you, we were on the RPF together. I didn't spend much time around them anywhere else. I kept hearing about how their family was trouble. When we did talk, they picked on me, I ragged back and I tried to keep from feeling sorry. I still pity them.
"Bean, Bunce and Boggis graduated from our church seminary, but they've never been very good at their jobs. They've been inside the RPF more than anyone else in all my religion's history and they're only a few years older than me. They never learn anything from the program either. They continue to act like they shouldn't and get sent back. It's pathetic."
"The whole family's pretty much the same," Dane added. "Jessica's a Feshbach too? I didn't know that. I thought she only liked bossing them about."
"Jessica is Joe Feshbach's oldest daughter. You didn't ask for her maiden name? You didn't inquire into her credentials at all?" Erika gaped. "You were taught better than that, Dane!"
"I did ask for her history of past audits. Jessica said she was the primary therapist for Tom Cruise and Jenna Elfman. I was impressed."
"Did she tell you Tom, Jenna and other celebrities fired her after she inspired them towards public relations nightmares?"
"No. She just said she had helped them enough and wanted to move on."
"You believed her spin doctoring, didn't you?" Erika growled. "Dane, you remember that quarrel about psychology Tom Cruise had on the 'Today Show' back in 2005? Alicia and I were talking about it a few minutes ago. You recall how Tom was bobbing on talk show hosts' couches back then, screaming that he loved his fiancée Katie Holmes?"
"Yeah. I heard some woman was coaching Katie to copy Tom."
"Jessica Feshbach Rodriguez advised Tom and Katie to do all that."
"Oh, crap."
"You said it. Jessica made Tom more popular but she also made him infamous. Tom fired her for that right after he and Katie got married. I was delighted that he did. It's fine to be in love with someone and hold your own opinions. However, if you shove it down people's throats, they get upset. Tom's still learning that today. Tom and Katie aren't Jessica's only blunder. Somehow, she got charged with celebrity audits and scripting evangelism right after she got ordained. She screwed things up for Tom, Jenna and many others. They all had to discharge her. Jenna's public statement about AIDS being a state of mind came from Jessica's recommendations. Once the tabloids and haters went ape-shit twisting those words, Jenna had to deny she ever said them. Of course, that only made things worse and Jenna fired Jessica. There have been other more minor cases involving Jessica too."
"It sounds like you've met her."
"I haven't. I have heard of all she's done, though. I keep my ear to the ground. You remember Mike Rinder?"
"Our teacher, the OSA director."
Alicia held up her hand. "OSA?"
"Office of Special Affairs," Erika said. "They handle intelligence gathering for Scientology along with public relations, legal and clerical matters, auditing ... you name it. They're for us what the Jesuits are for the Catholics. Mike Rinder was their leader and second only to the Chairman within the church ranks. I've mentioned him to you."
Alicia scratched her head, frowning. "I've heard about these people on the internet also. Your church's critics call them 'Scientology's Inquisition'. OSA's first director was incarcerated for committing fraud, racketeering and burglary on behalf of her religion."
"That was Mary Sue Hubbard. She was our founder's wife whom he divorced and exiled when she got convicted. OSA was called the 'Guardian's Office' back then. I wasn't alive to see it, but I heard about it in school. Because of Mary Sue's offenses, the whole church department had to be torn down and restructured under a new name. Mary Sue wasn't the only criminal inside either. Mike became director of the new OSA in 1984 and he swore to clean things up. Dane and I met him when he taught us in church school. Most Scientology executives are snobs but Mike wasn't like them. He grew up Scientologist in Australia and watched our religion get outlawed and reinstated by the government. Mike's suffered from discrimination his whole life. He worked out a way to live Scientology without practicing the abuses."
"I suppose he passed it on to you."
"Yes. He taught our parents first, and then my brothers and me along with anyone else who was willing to learn. Not everyone was, though. This included our Chairman, David Miscavige. That rhymes with cabbage, the vegetable. Miscavige didn't like what Mike was doing and kept pressuring him to be less open-minded about Scientology. That's how I got Mike in my reform movement. We already had one Friendship Viceroy helping us and we needed another. I didn't know Mike was a Viceroy before my parents told me to approach him in May of 2002. Mike already knew about us and was ready to join. He was our movement's biggest asset for six years."
"I remember. Then he resigned his job and left your church in the summer of 2007. Why did that happen again?"
"I'll get to it. Let me deal with Jessica first." Erika inhaled and then continued. "As you may have guessed, Jessica's an OSA operative. When I did my reform movement's big recruitment drive in 2002, I heard she knew our scripture well and was also chastised repeatedly by the Chairman for nonspecific things. I thought she would be an asset for us. Mike withdrew her name from consideration when I asked him about her. He told me Jessica was ready to blackmail me in the winter of 2001. You know, when I had that argument with Tom Cruise and met you, Alicia? Jessica heard about it from Tom and she had a private investigator follow me around and take photos of me going in and out of clubs with guys and girls. There wasn't anything incriminating but if the tabloids saw the pictures —"
"They would have made up false stories and destroyed your career," Alicia interrupted.
"Yeah," Erika said. "I'm a proud slut, but it's not something I want exposed like that. I told Tom I didn't want to market Scientology alongside him. Jessica hoped to compel a different tune on me. Mike stepped in and stopped Jessica before she could enact her plan. OSA clerics have to file reports prior to taking action against specific Scientologists they believe are harming the church. There are also certain things they're not supposed to do. Blackmailing people is at the top of the list."
Alicia grimaced. "They do it anyway, though. I've read the online documentation. They don't always get punished."
"Especially when they're related to someone such as Joe Feshbach. I never knew about what Jessica did until Mike filled me in. I asked why she did it and Mike said it was our old policy called 'Fair Game'."
"I've heard of this," Alicia replied. "Isn't Fair Game the scripture that says anyone who harms Scientology or a specific Scientologist should be 'tricked, sued, lied to or destroyed'?"
"That's it," Dane said. "Jessica showed me that passage in Scientology texts and told me I needed to do as it directed. She also said Fair Game extended to Scientologists who refused to spread their religion or live in accordance with its teachings. No one ever taught this stuff to me before but from Jessica I believed it."
"Dane, you should not have done that," Erika informed her brother. "Fair Game was cancelled in 1968, long before you or I were born. Mary Sue Hubbard instituted it when she got upset at ex-members who were discouraging people from joining the church. Ron Hubbard revoked the policy when his wife took it too far a mere three years after its institution. Ron criticized Fair Game further in the 1970s and 1980s when fanatics refused to stop following it. Many Scientologists ignored him and still use the policy today as an excuse to harass people. Jessica's attempted blackmail of me is just one example. All the incidents are isolated and discouraged. Scientologists aren't supposed to practice Fair Game. The church leaders don't support those who do."
Alicia coughed. "I've seen conflicting reports on the web about that."
"I only know what Mike told me," Erika said quickly. "He knew Ron and Mary Sue, most of the internet critics never did. Ron and Mary Sue are both dead now. I was never taught about Fair Game in official church classes. Only the websites against Scientology, fanatics, my parents and Mike educated me about it. Some Scientologists practice the policy, but it's not a prevalent conspiracy like our Internet bashers believe. Fair Game with us is like the Catholics with their problem priests or the Muslims with their terrorists. It's something that happens even though the majority of our church would never support it and gets excused way too often. That's one of the things my movement's trying to reform. Whenever we see Fair Game, we communicate about it amongst ourselves and report the perpetrator up the chain. We also avoid it and work for the good of our religion instead. Mike always told me that's what we were supposed to do."
"Hmm," Alicia replied with a frown. "I see. You believe in Mike Rinder's advice about Fair Game because you want to maintain your own sanity, right?"
Erika sighed. "You guessed it."
"She has to do that, Alicia," said Dane. "Every Scientologist does. We're taught that questioning official scripture and church history leads to serious mental and physical problems. If we leave Scientology, it's the same as suicide."
"It's not," Erika spoke when Alicia's jaw dropped. "That's just what the fanatics say. I only agree somewhat. In my judgment, leaving the church rather than trying to live as a good person inside and reform it is a cop out. I've told people inside my movement that. You remember what happened with Isaac Hayes in 2005?"
"The 'South Park' voice actor," Alicia answered. "He was a friend of yours, a mentor to your family like Mike Rinder. Then he died earlier this year."
Erika nodded. "Isaac was always a sage to me. He was also the one who got me into swinging. He and my parents introduced me to the reformers. 'South Park' lampooned Scientology and other religions all the time and Isaac was okay with it. He knew of the criticism against Scientology when he joined in 1990 and worked to counter it by inspiring Scientologists to be better people. Isaac said shows like 'South Park' had their place. One could laugh at them and become a better Scientologist, Christian, or whatever. I agreed.
"Isaac was on 'South Park' for a decade. I enjoyed watching the show until 2005, when the 'South Park' writers put out an episode named 'Trapped in the Closet' that said all the hateful rumors about Scientology were true. It was the same time Tom was doing his talk show evangelizing. Someone in his camp wanted to sue that episode's writers and producers."
"Jessica," Alicia speculated.
"Yes. Tom ended up not doing anything. He ignored Jessica and concentrated on advertising his latest film. The online bashers said otherwise, but I know from my own investigation that Tom never lashed out at 'South Park' over what happened. Isaac also defended the writers in interviews. As before, he was okay with their satire. Then Isaac had his first stroke and was forced to quit his show. Isaac's publicist put out a statement that the reason Isaac quit was the way 'South Park' portrayed Scientology in 'Trapped in the Closet', not his health. This ruined Isaac's eminence in Hollywood and brought him notoriety. Hating him was seen as the cool thing to do. All of our religion's critics became 'South Park' fans and the writers loved the publicity. Do you recall how they called Isaac a hypocrite all over the internet?"
"I do. Your critics grew in number after that and your church shrunk. Then the writers had Isaac's character hypnotized and killed off in that appalling season opener called 'The Return of Chef'."
"Yeah. I still watch 'South Park' today but I'm not amused by it as much as I used to be. Isaac was about to disclose our reform movement to the public after 'The Return of Chef', hoping to restore his image. Mike told Isaac revealing us wasn't the best idea. It would do more harm than good. The critics wouldn't believe we existed. I backed Mike on that. You've seen the way people online treat us."
"Yes. They target Scientologists with discrimination and consider you all the same as ignorant folk like Tom. Erika, if they knew what you were doing..."
"It would just make things worse, Alicia. We hide ourselves for a reason."
"You know how I feel about you, Erika, but your religion sickens me sometimes, especially when it threatens you like this."
"I hate it myself. That's why I joined the reformers when Isaac told me about them and why I believe so strongly in our goals. We all dislike the way Scientology is. We want our leaders to formally condemn those who commit crimes, not just excuse them for the sake of our church staying intact. That's why we work together to avoid behavior like Fair Game ourselves, report those who do engage in such practices and concentrate on good works. We also stay connected and ready to help each other. We can't let our movement be revealed, though. That could mean us all leaving the church, and that's failure. If the fanatics as a whole learn of our existence, they will want us expelled and put stress on the Chairman. I've seen it happen before with people they don't like."
"Erika, whoa," Dane said. "Last I checked, we have twenty-five celebrities in the movement. Or is it more now?"
"It's thirty-two, Dane, including every major celebrity in Scientology except Tom Cruise and his wife, the Elfmans and a few others. We're all liberals and we believe Scientology is taking advantage of our popularity to sponsor its abuses as well as its charities. We also hate how the critics lump us in with the fanatics. Our goal is to stop putting up with that and turn Scientology towards the road our church should be on, the good road. We want to change things. We can't get thrown out though."
"You won't. Don't you remember Jason Beghe? You think Miscavige wants thirty-two potential Jason Beghes walking around?"
"Time out!" Alicia said. "You have six or seven actors named Jason in Scientology. Who's this one again?"
"The one who quit Scientology earlier this year," Erika answered. "TMZ calls him our 'celebrity whistleblower'. He hasn't worked much in Hollywood since he left our church and started defaming it along with the other critics. Before you ask, as far as I know Scientology isn't creating his lack of employment. It's more that no one trusts Beghe anymore, inside or outside his former religion. That's what my non-Scientologist agent tells me."
"Oh." Alicia nodded. "I know this man now. Dane, Erika has a point."
"Getting out of Scientology is worth our careers, Erika. Our church is messed up. I know it firsthand now. Wait till you find out what Jessica made me do."
"I already have an idea, Dane," Erika replied. "She got you to shun our family, didn't she? That's why you haven't talked to me since you met her."
"Yeah. I've been erasing your messages as soon as I heard your voice. You also know about those rumors I put out, right? Jessica had me working Fair Game on Evan. I told some TMZ reporters that she broke up with her boyfriend because she was dating another man who was a violent psychopath. Have you heard of Mickey Rourke?"
"Good actor," Erika said. "However, he enjoys being offensive before the press and he has a drinking problem. TMZ broadcasts his faults along with every other celebrity's. Any reason for him in particular?"
"Evan did a movie with him and they're pals. Jessica told me that Rourke called Tom Cruise names on television during the 'South Park' event we discussed, backing up the gossip against Scientology. She wanted him targeted specifically for that. I also put out this other rumor that Ira was living with Evan and her boyfriend. They had a rent dispute and You-Know-Who kicked Ira out. It wasn't true, though. I made it all up."
"Oh my God, Dane," Erika said, recognizing the report. "You're TMZ's inside source on Evan's split with Manson?"
"Yes. Alicia, if you didn't know, Evan was living with the Satanist shock-rocker Marilyn Manson."
"I do know. Were you calling him 'You-Know-Who' before?"
"I call Manson that because I don't like to say his name. It gives him power. I guess I'll drop it. Jessica tried to convert Manson to Scientology after I targeted Evan and Evan rejected my advances. Jessica had me doing all those rumors and she approached Manson and Evan but they warned her off. Then Evan called me and told me she never wanted to see me again unless I ditched Jessica. Evan had put together what was going on. I fired Jessica this afternoon after I thought about what Evan told me. I'm also quitting Scientology."
"Dane, you can't do that," Erika said. "Jessica was acting on her own. She had to have been. What about all the church has done for you? You were telling me how it got you to overcome your problems."
"Right, then Jessica undid everything. I met her the day I got out of the RPF, Erika — October 27th. I was ready for my final RPF audit and all my usual ministers were busy. I met Jessica in a church garden while I was waiting for someone else. She was commanding this black bird of prey. It was like a hawk or an eagle but smaller and flew very fast."
"A peregrine falcon?" Alicia asked.
"That was it. Jessica had the bird under her power. I was bedazzled. She instructed and it obeyed. I asked how she was making the bird fly around and retrieve things and Jessica told me she was projecting her will into her pet as Scientology had taught her. I never saw anything like it before."
"Dane, that wasn't special abilities," Erika insisted. "That side of Scientology is all metaphorical 'unlock your potential' stuff. Jessica had to have been fibbing. Right, Alicia?"
Alicia nodded. "It sounds like she's a falconer. Falconry, or hunting with trained falcons, is a sport that was popular in medieval Europe. Today it's not practiced as much."
"I didn't know that till just now," said Dane. "Seeing Jessica with the bird and hearing her voice put me under her spell. You're right, Erika, she knows our scripture better than anyone. She became my auditor. When I wasn't stocking shelves at Safeway, I worked at the church with Jessica. I let her guide my life and did everything she told me. Ira decided to move out of our apartment and I let him when Jessica took his side. I quit my grocery job on her advice too. Jessica wanted me to work for Scientology exclusively and I complied. It wasn't until after Evan yelled at me that I was able to break away from her."
"Are you really free, Dane?" Erika inquired, suspicious. "Please don't tell me she's there with you right now."
"Of course not, Erika. I would never lie to you!"
"He isn't lying, is he, Alicia?"
Alicia frowned, applying her "Law & Order" detective's instincts. "I don't think so."
Erika smiled, relieved. "Dane, why didn't you come to me about this before?"
"I was scared of Jessica, Erika. She told me no one in our family is a good Scientologist."
"Well, who is she to determine that?"
"I told her all about you, Erika — the college you were attending, your swinging, the Friendship, everything. I told her about the rest of our family also. No auditor had ever seen a problem in our family before but Jessica did. She laughed for a long time when she heard about you studying psychology and then said she wasn't surprised. Jessica told me to disconnect from you. That's our term for shunning, Alicia — disconnection. I only changed my mind about Jessica's advice this morning."
Erika put a hand to her mouth. "Did you tell her I graduated? About my new practice?"
"No. What practice?"
"I finished college two weeks ago, Dane. I got my psychology certificate and bachelor's degree on Veterans' Day. I've been seeing lots of clients, including celebrities. I keep it confidential except from those I can trust."
"Oh. Congratulations. I must have deleted that message."
"Good. Maybe I can still salvage this. I want people to know about my degree and what I do, just not the wrong people. What about our reform movement? Did you tell Jessica about that?"
"Only a little. I didn't want to give her names. I heard Jessica mock you and I got worried. I started trying to lead her on, separate myself from her. Then this thing with Evan happened. I followed Jessica's guidance. It seemed good in the beginning, you know?"
"Right, Dane. Then it messed things up."
"Exactly. Those bullies you mentioned were part of it too. They're Jessica's sidekicks. They follow her orders almost as well as the falcon."
"You said they were after Manson and Evan?"
"Yes. Jessica wanted to create a situation where they'd join Scientology with my help. It didn't work and Evan got mad at me. When I fired Jessica this afternoon, I told her I planned to exit the church. She said 'go ahead, the little whore will still love you'. That's what she called you, Erika, 'little whore'. I think she knows you even if you don't know her."
Erika shrugged. "I don't know how Jessica would know me. I only really know about her through Mike, gossip and her sister."
"Sister?"
"Melissa Feshbach Prynne, the Scientology reverend I call 'Sweet Melissa' after the Allman Brothers song? I'm not the only one who calls her that."
"Yeah, you've told me about Melissa being your auditor. I haven't ever met her, though."
"I was introduced to her in 2003 and have worked with her since. Mike saw I didn't have a regular auditor and suggested Melissa. She's a war widow and an OSA agent like Jessica. She's also very skilled at auditing, but she's caring and clever. There are many people like her in Scientology if you know where to look."
"You said she's Jessica's sister?"
"They're identical twins, same as you and Brando. I've heard you can tell them apart by their opposing demeanors. Melissa's positive and Jessica's negative."
"Like Brando's responsible and I'm me."
"Yeah, Dane," Erika said with a giggle. "You're the evil twin."
"Stop that," Dane answered after laughing along. "Being my big sister doesn't give you the right to tease me. You're accurate, though. Jessica is evil. I had to get rid of her once I saw that. Why don't you want me to quit Scientology?"
"Because, Dane, if you do, Jessica wins. That's what she wants. I need you in my reformers. If you leave, you'll be just like Beghe — outside and cut off from us. You recall when we watched that interview he did on why he left? Remember how he was talking about the way Scientology fucked him up and destroyed his identity? You know that isn't the case for everyone. It wasn't for you, me, or several other people I could name. I tried going to Beghe before he exited and telling him all this, inviting him into our reformers. He laughed in my face and said our cause was doomed, that he wouldn't even dignify it with a mention to the outside. He was too angry and wrapped up in his own mindset. Now Beghe's out there making people think his experience is universal when it's not. Do you think I want that happening with you?"
"Erika, I must do this."
"Dane, you can't. You'll also be the same as those writers who agreed with the online bashers that Isaac was a hypocrite if you do it. They forgot all the good will Isaac showed them and named all Scientologists as bad. I reminded Isaac of what our church does for human rights and that there were some of us who lived without the bad stuff. That's why he stayed inside even after what happened with 'South Park'. He died in August of a second stroke, as you know, but even until death, he never spoke out against Scientology. If you want to do different, you can go ahead. I won't like it, though. Mom and Dad won't either, even if we're not going to shun you."
"Erika, I'm really upset. I have to leave."
"No, you do not. Listen to me. I can smooth things over. Melissa and Jessica have been competing for auditing cases since they started their training. People would have trouble telling them apart and send one's audit to the other. They had to be separated. Since Jessica's foul-ups started happening, Melissa's dedicated herself to undoing her sister's damage. Mike is helping her and so am I."
"Melissa's a reformer?"
"Yes. She encourages people towards human rights advocacy, disaster relief and the other good work Scientology does. I'm among her celebrity audit cases and so are Jenna and Kirstie Alley. Melissa has gotten over a hundred people into our movement, Kirstie included. She's working on Jenna right now, though it's taking time because Jenna has an ego and can only see Scientology's good side. We haven't yet revealed our cause to her but Melissa's ready when the time is right. I never really wanted an auditor before Melissa. Now I know her and she's really helped me. Do you recall the church I opened in Plant City, Florida last year?"
"Was that where you got ticked off and declared to the opening day crowds that all classes taken at the church should be charged to your account?"
"That's the place," Erika confirmed, smiling as she remembered the faces of her religion's moneychangers when she defied them. "I don't know what got into me. I just got through telling all these people they would find a great outlet for family values in our faith and then the ministers lined up the cash registers. I guess I freaked."
Dane snickered. "I heard you turned over desks and whipped people."
"Not true. I didn't freak quite that much. Melissa helped me get out of what I did. She told the Chairman I did not have a psychotic episode and that my supporting Plant City could be a great boon for Scientology. Some celebrities already sponsor specific parishioners. I was going to do an entire church."
"Wouldn't that put you in debt?" Alicia asked. "I never knew about this, Erika."
"I'm not in debt. Plant City is just one church in a small town and our religion is unpopular right now thanks to our critics. Also, it only takes one person to start a trend. My Scientologist friends have been helping me. We have to keep it hidden, though, just like our reform movement. The Chairman called me into his office a week after I spoke up in Plant City. He told me he didn't want other celebrities to follow my lead and parishioners to start expecting sponsorship and freeloading on courses. Mike had already resigned over the scandal so I wouldn't be punished and it was taking all Miscavige could do to stop things from leaking to the press. If not for Mike and Melissa's advocacy, I might have had to leave Scientology back then."
"Where's Mike now?"
"He's outside our church and living alone in Virginia. He still has influence, but his time as OSA director is over. For the past fourteen months, Miscavige has controlled OSA himself. I still support Plant City because the entire church staff is reformist clergy. They know why I did what I did and they agree with it. They're quietly reimbursing Scientologists for their courses with my money. Miscavige is disappointed with me but he's willing to let it slide. He said he would let me continue my work in Plant City as long as no one actively copied me elsewhere. No one has yet. They're all afraid of the Chairman. I understand even though I wish they weren't."
"Why don't you tell the Chairman about your reform movement?"
"I can't. He may see it as a threat, even though we're not bad Scientologists and we all want to stay inside. You've probably heard the controversies on the web about Miscavige. He was our founder's chosen successor and took over Scientology in the early 1980s. Ron couldn't get Mary Sue to officially resign her position but Miscavige did. Then Ron died in 1986 and the Chairman was firmly in charge of Scientology. He spread our church further around the world and got us tax exemption in America but he also increased the protests. He's tried to hold us together through almost thirty years of contraction and expansion. There's a lot of weight on Miscavige. It never stops."
"Didn't he expel some of his own family members from Scientology when they weren't devout enough for him? I've seen their critical website."
"They left on their own, Alicia. Miscavige was ready to help them remain but they weren't interested. I've gotten to know the Chairman from our brief meetings at church events and asked him about his family. Miscavige told me he didn't like to see them go. He's the same as Mike or Melissa at heart. He wants to save our religion and see it continue. Miscavige has a paranoid streak but he also has a good side. I think he's the best person in charge for the present. I'm worried about him, however. He's a practical person in an unstable situation. Miscavige wants to keep the fanatics in check and Scientology strong, even in our current climate. If my movement were in the open, he might not be able to do that."
"Better him in power than someone like Jessica," Dane agreed. "Erika, what am I going to do here? I've really screwed up."
"It's not that bad. You haven't slept with Jessica or anything like that, right?"
"I was hoping to for a while. Then she turned me off when I saw her smacking around her minions. I did not want her after that. I do owe her two hundred and forty dollars, though."
Goddamn Jessica for treating Dane like this! Erika cursed to herself. There is no excuse! She rolled her eyes at Alicia. Her girlfriend rolled her own eyes in accord and Erika turned back to the phone.
"Okay, Dane," Erika said after a minute of thought, "the family needs to have a sit-down with you. Melissa should be there. She's an expert at helping people avoid having to leave Scientology. As I told you, she assisted me. I'm one of many she's aided. I haven't introduced you to her before because I didn't think you needed her. Now I know otherwise. Dane, I have been where you are right now a dozen times. Melissa has pulled me back every one. She reminds me there are good people all over Scientology, even in our clergy. She's the best one of us I can name."
"Where is she? I know she's not in L.A. or Florida."
"Melissa's in St. Louis. She's an OSA deputy director and supervises church operations in the entire Midwestern United States. I communicate with her by phone, e-mail and the occasional visit, just as I do other long distance friends. Melissa's one of the few Feshbachs who's done well for themselves and rightly so. Look, Dane, I'll call Mom and Dad, then get dressed and come over there with them to see you. They'll take you to visit Melissa and get you some help. I'll come to St. Louis myself after this weekend when my schedule is clear of other clients. No whining about this. I'm not letting you just up and leave. If I have to be my brother's keeper, I will."
"Okay, Erika, fine. I was wavering anyway. I'm still departing Scientology if this goes sour, though."
"That's your right. I just want you to give this a chance. It will all be fine. Stay calm. I'll talk to my fellow reformers and make sure everyone knows what happened to you. Jessica's a danger we've been ignoring. We need to be certain she's not inclined to hurt you further. I'll also get a complaint report sent to the Chairman. As far as he knows, our family is still a great bunch of Scientologists and there's no cause for you to disconnect from us like you have. Maybe Melissa and I can catch Miscavige on a good day and get him to censor Jessica again, seriously this time."
"I hope so. Erika, I'm really sorry. I need you to do something else for me."
"Spill it."
"You have to talk to Evan. She's with the wrong guy. Yeah, they broke up, but what if they get back together? Evan can't get hurt anymore. She's not involved with anyone like Jessica, but she's still in danger. You-Know-Who is a maniac. Can you pull her out?"
Erika exhaled her frustration. "I don't know, Dane. You pretty much ruined things for me before I could even step in. What if Evan thinks I'm another Jessica stooge?"
"Damn it, I didn't think of that! I was just trying to get back at Evan for hurting me. It was what Jessica told me to do."
"Now she's gone. Are you going to do it still?"
"No, Erika, but what if Evan hates us? We can't let that happen."
"I'll work on it," Erika assured her brother. An idea came to her. "I can't help Evan myself immediately, but I know someone who could." Thank goodness Doug doesn't mind me disturbing him at all hours, she thought. "Look, you stay home till Mom and Dad get there. I'll be just behind them with Alicia, Nick and Brando. Don't open the door for anyone but us."
"I won't. Thank you, Erika."
"You're welcome. Be careful, Dane. I love you." Erika terminated the connection and exhaled, looking at Alicia. There would be no dildo session for them now, not for a while at least. "Dane's okay, but we need to finally get off our butts and help him and Evan."
"So I gathered," Alicia said. "Who are we gonna call?"
Erika's response was one word. "Frost-Fire." Grinning at the other naked woman sitting beside her, she began dialing her phone.
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