Breaking Through | By : gardenrose Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Savage Garden Views: 4056 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Savage Garden. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
They slept for few hours.
Danias tas the first to wake up and realize it’s nearly midday. He gently stroke Darren’s shoulder to wake him up.
Darren slowly opened his eyes, sat up and shook his sleep away.
“God I feel like I’ve been drinking…” he whispered.
“Morning, Darren,” Daniel crept up to him and put his hands around his waist.
“Is it morning, really?” Darren smiled.
“We gotta talk about something… Want coffee?” Daniel suggested letting go of Darren and getting out of the bed.
“Anything…” Darren replied. He knew they had to talk. But was he ready? Did he know what to say? Surely he knew all the questions Daniel wanted to ask.
“Alright, I’ll come back with some breakfast, you just relax,” with those words Daniel left.
Darren fell back onto the huge bed and put his hands behind his head. He didn’t know what happened last night. Did he? Most of the night he remembered in a blurry drunken daze. He could remember what he felt. He couldn’t remember why. Or could he? The crowd was amazing.
Darren smiled. Everything was just as he had imagined and dreamed it to be. But the real life was different, wasn’t it?
He didn’t sing his best. He didn’t move his best. In fact, thinking back, he hardly moved at all. The crowd still seemed to like it. He remembered being screamed at. Being looked upon. He remembered seeing faces. Smiling happy faces in the first three rows. He never suspected that it is possible to see faces from such a high stage. But it is. He saw them clearly.
What did he think when he saw them clearly? Darren covered his face with his hands. He let his thoughts flow. God, did THEY see him as clearly? He was ashamed. Ashamed of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Could he? Did they see through him?.
Awareness downing on him slowly and feeling of shame floating his head into daze, Darren pressed his hands closer to his face, trying to push the thoughts away.
Please, go away. I don’t really want to think about this. Please…
“Darren?” Daniel had returned to the bedroom and found Darren on the bed, hands over his face. He thought Darren was crying again but he wasn’t.
“Yes, I am still here,” Darren sat up in the bed. He wasn’t crying. But he looked weird.
“You’re okay?” Daniel asked. He handed Darren a cup of coffee and sat next to him.
“I am fine, Danny,” Darren answered, taking the coffee and looking at Daniel’s worried face. “Just that the real life is so different from whatever we had planned it to be,” he smiled weirdly.
Daniel didn’t smile back, “I want to know what is bothering you. Let’s start with what’s bothering you right now.”
“I don’t know, I was just thinking back to last night and I think we did very well,” Darren spoke like nothing wrong had happened.
“You don’t have to pretend we played a show, came home and just woke up after a normal night… We’ll talk about how we really did when we know… when I know you’re fine.” Daniel was nervous but persistent. Darren saw there was probably no escape.
“I think we will play tonight and tomorrow and it’s gonna be fine. I just need to get used to it. To the crowd. To people looking up at me. I don’t deal very well with attention.”
“Are you just saying this to get me off your back?” Daniel asked, turning Darren’s face to him, holding his face in his hands and looking in his tired blue eyes.
Darren sighed, “Yes”
Daniel put his hands down and bent his head back. Looking up at the ceiling he tried to concentrate all his patience, all the love he was feeling for Darren, everything he ever learned about relationships. Finally the silence grew too heavy for either of them and they both spoke at the same time.
“Hun…”
“Danny…”
They laughed.
“Danny… Let me … well… let me explain the best I can… I know what it is… Isorrsorry if I can’t put it into words… But I can fight my demons now when I know them…”
“Why are you rejecting my help?” Daniel asked quietly, despair in his voice.
“Cause there’s nothing you can do! Just let me be, Danny. You once asked me why I can’t just be with you. Now I am asking you – just be with me. Just be with me, Danny.”
Daniel took a deep breath. He knew Darren couldn’t fight his demons even if he knows them now. But there was truly nothing he could do.
“You think you’re ready to go on stage again?” Daniel asked, turning to face Darren, “tonight?”
A stubborn determination in Darren’s pale fragile features. Darren smiled.
In a way Daniel knew where he is coming from. They were meant to go through with this. They were meant to finish what they had started. Daniel wanted it, too. He just wasn’t sure about the price he was willing to pay. Or was already paying.
Two concert and two sleepless nights later Daniel made a mental note he wasn’t even aware where he is… He opened the front door to an annoyingly long doorbell ring and seeing Elena he realized it must have been Darren’s place.
Daniel was on the phone, talking to his mother. Darren still upstairs in the bedroom. Daniel motioned his head towards the living room, too tired to even consider putting up a fight… He patiently listened to his mother’s story of going to her first pop concert the night before.
“I’m sorry mum… really… you must realize … they can’t just believe you, can they?”
He smiled helplessly.
“We have a manager Elena Miles, you always look for heywheywhere you go and try to see me where they do not let you! Just call for Elena!”
He listened to something and nodded to himself.
“I gotta go now, mum…”
He got off the phone and just in time for business Darren emerged at the top of the stairs. He rolled his eyes and limped down the stairs slowly. Followed by two shocked pairs of eyes he lowered himself carefully on the sofa.
“What’s wrong with you?” Elena asked frowning her forehead.
“Just a cramp, dear,” Darren rolled his eyes again.
Daniel sat down on the sofa and offered Darren’s leg a massage.
“So?” Elena smiled and sat back, “What do you say about the first three shows?”
“For God’s sake, don’t you see?” Daniel started aggressively but seeing her smile he calmed down… It seemed she had something to say about it… But saved it for later… So Daniel tried to stay cool.
He continued, “We are broken. Darren’s voice, his muscles, my nerves, we are like two men of 50 after the first workout in 20 years!”
“Any other complaints?” she asked in a matter of fact matter.
“Well how about nearly being killed last night after the concert?” Darren suggested, half joking half serious, “I got pushed in my back so hard I’d be knocked over if Danny wouldn’t have grabbed me.”
Darren and Daniel both turned their heads to Elena when she took a deep breath. They knew it’s coming.
“Well, my dears… Here we are now. Cramps and tears, huh?” She put her hands together, like in a prayer, “do you understand now?”
“What?” Darren and Daniel both shouted at the same time.
“That we KNOW what we are doing?” she continued with what she had to say, “now you take three days to lick your wounds and I hope you will accept what you declined a month ago. Firstly, a physical trainer for you both but mostly for Darren. Secondly, you follow through what he tells you. This is no joke, this is harder than a football game, this is as physical as it gets. A vocal teacher for Darren – so he knows what to do with his voice before and after shows. And a final step – security. Your personal security so no one pushes you in the back and knocks you over! When we deal with those major things, we will work on minor flaws we all noticed during the last 3 days.”
They both sat listening in complete silence.
Darren lowered his head remembering heuallually declined a physical trainer, but why would he need one for singing, he had thought. Daniel’s gentle strokes didn’t help his leg. He was in pain since the middle of the night. Physical pain this time.
“We are human beings, why couldn’t you just explain this to us in a human manner?” Daniel asked.
“You are two stubborn bastards! Never do anything before you learn a lesson! I was willing to teach you a lesson risking this band falling apart, if I knew this is the only way to wake you up. Wake up!” she waved her hands in their direction, “Wake up, guys! This is not a game any more! I wanted you to grow up! Grow up and stop playing. Get real. Was that real enough for you?”
Daniel sighed.
“Three days to get yourself together!” she said, getting up and leaving. None of them got up to let her out.
They sat on a sofa for a long while. A silent sigh escaped their lips now and then.
Darren thought of all the things she said, and that she was right. Daniel thought of Darren. And suspected quite rightly what he was thinking.
to be continued (soon)
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