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The Voice of a Prophet	By : FilthyWarumono Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 2756 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Dir en grey are real people and I do not know them. Simply expressing creativity and curiosity in a work of fiction. I am not making any profit from anything I do.

Chapter List
- 1-PROLOGUE
- 2-SETSUNA
- 3-SILVER COIN
- 4-MISSA
- 5-GARDEN
- 6-ZANGEKI NO YORU
- 7-JEALOUS
- 8-PROPHET
- 9-GAUZE
- 10-YUME
- 11-COURAGE
- 12-CAGE
- 13-CHARMING
- 14-TOMODACHI
- 15-SCARLET
- 16-MYAKU
- 17-OSAKA JO
- 18-HIMITSU
- 19-A KNOT
- 20-MACABRE
- 21-SHOWTIME
- 22-SHINJITSU
- 23-AKUMU
- 19
- 20
- 21
THE VOICE OF A PROPHET
Chapter Nineteen
MACABRE
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Between the concerts and the tours and the photo shoots and the promotional video’s I find myself wondering how we even have time to write the music anymore.

Not to mention everything we still did on the side and in private.

Walking the familiar distance from the busy train station to my lonely little living quarters I was long lost in thought, fingering through the most recent roughs of shots for that modeling magazine. It felt somewhat wrong to be so proud of these. I never really thought of myself as very attractive, yet when the makeup artists made me up so naturally and styled my hair for me, I felt as though I actually looked good. Maybe I would have to take some tips on non visual makeup and more normal hair styles for every day life. My head was bowed as I kept to myself, still dressed in the clothing I got to keep from the shoot – brown snakeskin patterned pants that hugged all of my feminine curves just right and a slim black leather jacket fit over a snug dark T, new patent boots, and I even got to keep the accessories they decorated me with. I really felt like a rock star walking the busy streets what with my prepped fashion sense, brightly colored hair and flawless features. When I had asked for the prints the crew laughed at me slightly, making me feel like a baffled newbie. I didn’t care. It was my proof that I could look good.
Plus, I wanted to give one to Kaoru.

For the past week we had been filming a new promotional video for Taiyo no Ao, which had been surprisingly less work than previous video’s we’d shot. There were simpler outfits rather than costumes, somewhat normal hairstyles, less showiness and less magic. It was a calmer side of Dir en grey.
And during that whole time I couldn’t manage to muster up enough balls to give the leader my stupid picture.

The morning of a new photoshoot I found myself staring at the pathetic excuse for a reflection in the privacy of my own bathroom, yellow tinted locks limp and hanging into those sharp, dark chocolate eyes. This is me. I still looked somewhat sleepy, despite the shower I took and the cup of coffee I had to wake myself up. No matter, I’d be putting on a face full of makeup soon enough. As I stared, taking in all that I am, I decided blonde really was my color. I hadn’t stayed one shade in a long, long while, yet everyone always complimented me. The lightened strands made my near ebony orbs really stand out, and everyone always did say that the eyes were the windows to one’s soul, did they not? Mine were so obvious I wondered how nobody could read me. I turned my face to one side and then the next, noting how that annoying baby fat was slowly starting to give way to my cheekbones. If I angled myself this way or that… I could get them to be noticed. I smirked softly. Kaoru’s cheekbones were so perfectly sculpted, I wondered if eventually mine would look like his. A part of my insides really felt good, like I was finally growing into something somewhat attractive. Maybe I would gain a couple of inches. I stood on the tips of my toes briefly, imagining what it would be like to see more of myself in that mirror above the sink. As I dropped back down my eyes lowered to the glossy photograph in my hands, looking over the primped blonde figure posed so delicately and captured forever with a quaint little smile.

Today, I would give it to him.
With a confirmed nod and a deep breath, I gathered the rest of my things and stepped out of my apartment, locking up behind me and making way towards the train station.

“Ohayou gozaimashita!”
I was greeted by off tune calls from everyone inside the studio when I arrived, bowing my head in return. They were all already bustling about, our costumes hanging on a rolling rack, the counters and tables littered with hair products, makeup, accessories, paperwork, and even breakfast. I smiled unenthusiastically when my nostrils caught a whiff. Dare I eat this early in the morning? I sighed softly, moving to help myself to a baked treat after setting all of my stuff down. I guess I sort of had to – I’d be painting my face on soon enough and a bite to eat would ruin that lipstick. If I stupidly chose not to, I certainly wouldn’t be getting a meal until we were completely finished in what… several hours?
“Ohayou gozaimasu!” I shot a dark gaze over my shoulder as the lanky bassist entered too, in just a few steps behind me. “Kyo-chan, I saw you at the train station and you didn’t wait for me!” He pouted, offering a playful shove before scooping up his own sweet muffin.
“Na…” I yawned softly before turning my breakfast over in my hands. “You know I’m not mentally awake in the mornings.” Physically maybe, my zombie-like body doing all necessary errands on it’s own while I still dozed in my head.
Die snickered. “I believe that. You’re not even mentally awake in the afternoon’s.”
“Shut up.”
“Kyo-san!” Immediately I perked to attention, the ever-recognizable voice of my leader forcing the sleep out of my eyes. “Did you see the boots you get to wear?”
As Kaoru came around the corner I couldn’t help but smile, his pink hair pinned out of his face and revealing those beautiful, chiseled features. He wore a look full of teasings as he motioned towards our costumed footwear, so seemingly excited just to rub it in. Quirking a brow I had to cross the room to get myself a good look, and at first honestly I didn’t know which pair was mine… at least, until I noticed the good five inch chunky platforms. “What the hell!” I muttered around a mouthful of breakfast, throwing my arms up in the air. “Is this because I’m short?!” I pointed accusingly at the black boots, though I was grinning as I chewed. “Who’s are these?” I asked, hovering my pointer digit over some rather tacky snakeskin, heeled boots. Snakeskin? In costumes of PVC? Hah!
“Mine~” Kaoru stated almost proudly, and I couldn’t help but choke softly as I inhaled some renegade crumbs mid-laughter.
“Hontou ni?” I giggled, and was soon bombarded with the eldest playfully punching me in the arm. “Yamatte! They’re… sexy!” I lied, tittering with glee.
“Look at what I have to wear.” The redhead soon joined us at the line up of shoes, pulling out a sleek pair of knee-highs and a killer, chunky heel. He frowned at them. “I don’t even think I can walk in these.”
“Please. You did fine in all your Gauze costumes.” Kaoru eventually ceased pummeling me, now teasing the other guitarist. “You walk better than Shinya in heels.” His sarcastic, lighthearted grin melted my heart.
The drummer finally perked up from where he was actually doing something productive, hearing his name and putting on a base layer of makeup. I guessed he ate before I got there. “At least I have variety in my footwear.”
Again I chuckled, trying to take a bite of my muffin. It was sadly so true. I don’t remember a costume where Die wasn’t wearing black vinyl, heeled boots up to his knees.
“Are you sure those aren’t mine?” The bassist came up behind us, a cup of orange juice in his hand as he too looked over the prepared selection. “With all our heels I don’t know why they even bothered giving you any lift at all, Kyo-chan. It won’t make a difference.” I shot him a glare with my plush lips surrounding that breakfast cake, smirking inwardly. Whatever. At least I wasn’t a skyscraper. Before I could swallow my meal and open my mouth to comment back I heard the leader making a small noise behind me, and naturally curious, I turned.
He had my picture in his hands. Surely I blushed embarrassedly as I turned away from the others, bracing for an explanation. I didn’t want him to think I was so full of myself that I carried around a picture to stare at. Neither did I have it on me just in case I ran into an eager fan wanting an autograph. Was I worrying too much? Clearing my throat I brought a hand up to my lips to hide the food that I was still chewing. “Nn… that’s from my Kera shoot.”
“You’re so damn adorable.”
My sharp eyes widened as I brought those dark orbs up to stare somewhat baffled at the elder. I think that was even worse than being called the c-word. Though this time… this time I decided to let that placid shyness flow through my body, causing plump pink tiers to be tugged up into a small, bashful smile while I lowered my eyes. Fine. No one else had heard, and it was a compliment from the one man I truly adored with every fiber of my being. I’d let it slide… this time.
When the guitarist looked at me and smiled himself I felt like everything had paused around us. Like we were sharing a moment of great meaning together. It was short lived however, as he moved to set the glossy print back down on that table, turning to finish getting ready for our photoshoot. “Ah…” I tried to call out for him, attempting to snag his attention once more, but my voice was caught in my throat. What would I say? I felt stupid wanting to tell him he could keep it. Would he even want it? Why didn’t I have more for the other three members? I watched his retreating back while my heart pounded at a thousand beats per minute, then letting my hues lower back to the picture. It was then I felt like the rest of the world around me started up again, the silence roaring in my ears while busy bodies stepped around me, getting back to work. Makeup, hair, costumes, directions, producers, photographers and musicians. I stared at the dark brown eyes gazing at me from that single piece of paper.
“… I want you to have it…”

The camera bulbs flashed with a pop as the five of us were momentarily blinded by the bright lights, all lined up and posed to perfection. We all had done our solo shots, and we were just finishing up doing the group shots now. I was surprised when the photographers stated that they also wanted couples shots, and part of me felt my heart sink. We hadn’t done pictures like those since our Indies days, and last time they told me since I was the center man – and our group had an odd-number of five – that I didn’t get paired up with anybody. I was supposed to feel important, right? Instead I felt… lonely. Stupid though. It was only promotional pictures to excite the fans. So back with the camera’s I stood, watching first as Die and Shinya got to cuddle with one another, then Kaoru and Toshiya rolling in each other’s arms. Pursing my lips I pouted, watching with a longing sort of look in my dark eyes. They looked so… good together. I had to turn away.

I headed back to the dressing rooms, stooping to remove those annoying platform boots. It was then I was reminded of my picture, still laying upon that table. Forgotten? I pulled those cotton gloves from my hands and then reached for the print, sighing softly to myself. I certainly didn’t want to take it home. I already knew what I looked like. Besides, it would just remind me that I had no balls. I glanced towards Kaoru’s dressing table, scattered makeup and hair styling products still littering its surface. Maybe… I could casually forget it at his space. I felt like a damned fool, but swallowing my feelings I strut right over, and let it flutter from my fingertips on top of his things. I would never get anywhere if I didn’t at least try. I could hear the other’s finishing up and returning behind me, so I too began getting ready to leave.

Kaoru’d be taking a little piece of me home with him tonight.

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I still don't have internet... so enjoy this chapter while I suffer! xD Fear not, I have a couple more ready to go, it just litterally takes me FOUR HOURS to upload a website and on a GOOD day it successfully works. -_-;;;
Please, R&R, it reminds me that I still have patient readers waiting for updates. More often then not it's when I get a random e-mail telling me I have a new review that I go 'Oh, I should update that'. xD So get your friends to read! LOL!
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The Voice of a Prophet